February 10, 2559 C.E.

Tethys to Mars - Edith

“Come on Sam, let me in.” Alestra knocked at his door.

“No! What do you know about this?!” Came the curt yell from inside.

Alestra put on her best sisterly tone, “I’m closer to this than you think, plus you can’t isolate yourself forever.” She waited, but there was no response.

The door opened a little bit, a couple of fingers protruded. He turned off the automated system that controlled the door assuring he had control over it. She saw his tearful eyes glaring out from the crack. “What do you mean?” There was only darkness behind him. He blinked a couple of times as if his eyes needed to adjust to the light of the hallway.

“I am more like you then you know. Please let me in so we can talk.” The fingers retracted; the door slammed shut. A couple of minutes later the door quickly opened fully. As Alestra walked into the room all the lights were off and the only light was from the open door. Piles of clothes and papers were everywhere. The room looked empty, but she knew it to hold at least one other living being. She could not see the bed or the desk the illumination from the door was going the wrong direction. The door shut quickly behind her; darkness filled the room. She kept walking but quickly tripped on something soft and fell to the ground.

“Oh my god! I’m sorry!” Sam exclaimed. He clicked a switch and the room filled with a dim light designed to aid in sleeping. Alestra had tripped and fallen into a pile of clothes. He sat on the bed and looked toward her.

She looked to him. As she worked her way to her feet she commented, “I see depression has hit you hard.”

He furrowed his brow and turned out the lights again. “So? What would you know about it?”

“At least my eyes don’t have to adjust again.” Alestra managed her way to the desk chair and sat down. “There were many times I thought about giving up on my life. I had to fight for everything I got, it took work courage and most of all persistence.”

“Yeah well, the cause is not the same, this isn’t something I can fight.”

“Really? Did you know I was assigned male at birth?”

The surprise was clear in Sam’s voice. “What? I would have never guessed.”

Alestra sighed, “That’s kind of the point.” She continued, “So, I do know what you’re feeling and what you’re going though. I have spent a lifetime going through it. In fact, almost double the time you’ve been going through it.”

It was Sam’s turn to sigh. “I’m sorry. I just, had no idea. The memories they gave me in that prison made me think I had always been born in the right body. It was so nice. Now, I must suffer again with the knowledge that I was not. The knowledge that to be myself I have to try so hard to make everyone else see what is so obvious to me.”

“Welcome back to your own life. Remember, that place was a prison. It is just that how they imprisoned your mind was convenient for you. They had to do it that way, they could not easily undo the four surgeries you had. So instead, they undid your memories of being assigned female at birth.”

“Why did you recover my memories?”

“You wanted us to leave you with those false memories?”

“Yes, they were nicer. Honestly, I still have them, I just have the other ones too now. It’s confusing.”

“But now you have something to fight for.”

“Do I? I still have no reason to exist, all I have now is a tragic backstory.”