《Ramblings of a Bored man》Chapter 5 : Ranting truly releases stress
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--Chapter 5--
Hello and welcome to the annual tortur- I mean, story.
Wait, is it annual or daily?
Hmmm.. I’ve long lost my sense of time so.. yeah, the author is the only person who can remind me.
Say what?
It was only a day since last chapter?
BUT DOESN’T THAT MEAN FALLO IS JUST SITTING AROUND AND DOING NOTHING?!
Good for him, at least he can marvel at this great island that I’m cultivating.
So… today’s topic, what will it be?
Let’s talk about.. pedophilia?
No? Why not, my dear author?
.. because it is pretty much the worst topic to talk about?
HEY, ARE YOU SAYING THAT ME BEING A PEDO IS BAD? tsk tsk, damn.
Fine then.. let’s talk about harems, and reverse harems.
But chen boy, why do you speak so much about women?
Because they are so mysterious, under the mask called femininity lies many secrets that need to be researched, and who is the best for the job?
The amazing spi- chen!
So, harems… yeah.
They are pretty weird.
If I was a woman, I’d pick a man and never let any other girl approach him, because selfish is my nature.
Whether you know it or not, having more than one wife is actually legal, ya’know?
But seriously, harems with unrequited loves are pretty irrational, why should I follow that person if he shows no sign of interest, he might as well be gay for all I know.
Now then, reverse harem.
Who. The. Fuck. Would. Do. It.
FOR REAL MAN, IT IS LITERALLY A BITCH, A WHORE WHO SLEEPS WITH MANY MEN!
Who is the father?
Fuck youuuu, fuck all reverse harems, HERE IS THE FIRST WORLD PROBLEM!
Okay.. okay… calm down, boy.
So, yeah.
That was short?
Hahahahahaha.. not shorter than yours, AHAHAHAHAHA!
Fine.. so let’s extend more with harems.
Yes yes, some women might accept each other, in fact, a bi or lesbian might be mixed in, ya’know?
But that isn’t the point.
I’m talking about the person which the harem is directed to.
Why are you so dense?
Do they have to say “I love you, in a romantic way.” just so you would understand?
Why doesn’t she just have to ‘show some signs’ or say “I love you” only without explaining what type of love it is, for god's sake.
sigh.. But chen boy, that only appears in animes and stuff.
Don’t you get it? I want a nice, cozy and not so clichè and cringy romance, something that will feel good, something that won’t betray your expectations, maybe even surpass them.
But no, authors don’t get that, they frustrate us over and over and over.. just for a mere comedic effect, they think ‘Dense = Funny’.
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Well guess what? You are wrooong.. truly wrong, without doubt, absolutely wrong.
Only does their dense shell break once the character is dying, isn’t that just tragic beyond comprehension?
Sadistic writers, more than this author that is writing me, might not even feel that what they did is bad, it was a ‘Necessary Sacrifice’ to open the protagonist’s heart, but that sacrifice was too much, they take away our beloved, and his too, to then give the heroine title to someone we had no expectations for, hated, disliked, or even never cared about since she is a side character. But it gets sadder when the main character doesn’t love someone else since that person died, or tries to revive her, when that person that died took the role of ‘Character that we never cared about’, just.. why? Why do you do this, why do you enjoy playing with our emotions like such, does it really feel that good? Do you really think that we wish for sad things to happen to the one the readers consider the real heroine?
No.
We don’t.
Writers need to understand, while the world is in their hands, they should show some mercy. We like struggles, some of us crave for protagonists who have them, but there is a limit, someone needs to come to you and point out : This is too much, give mercy to the readers… But everyone knows, rarely anyone stops reading after the woman’s death, wishing, over and over for the writer to change it, to bestow light on the blind protagonist, to let him see the actual heroine, to break him from his dense shell and foolish determination… Rarely, that happens, and they just go along with whatever they think. This woman, I don’t like, let’s just kill her somehow and make her give a good advantage to the woman which I want as a heroine; the writer thinks in a weird and twisted way, they force many things even if they know it is bullshit, but they have to advance the plot, somehow.
Sigh.. I’ve said too much, this turned somehow strange, don’t you think?
Let’s just do something else, isn’t that fine, my dear writer?
I just… don’t want to rant anymore…
“Connecting.. Done. Welcome, Violett Blue.”
Let’s just get this over with.
Since my configuration of the elves and fairies are over, I’ll just spa-
Something is missing.
For Elves, there must exist two things.
One, a High Elf, or more.
Two, a large tree, let’s call this the Super World Tree, since it is even stronger than a normal World Tree.
Using the Corromium ore inside my inventory, I use another skill, called Crafting, which works a lot like games.
You choose something from the list, press craft, as long as you have the items, done.
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I could also make it manually, but I can just edit it after it is crafted.
First, turn the ore into ingots, then take some Super Magic Tree wood, aaaaand.. Done.
-Super Magic Axe :
Unbreakable Able to cut anything Changes shape with mana Increase Body by 200 Increase Mind by 200 Increase the quality of cutted wood to Super, if lower. Weighless Does 2000 physical damage Does 2000 magical damage Nullify enemy magic
Mhm, I didn’t even enchant it and it looks GORGEOUS.
The wood was beautifully carved and stuck on the axe head, as if it was part if it.
The carves looked like vines and leaves surrounding it, but the most impressive thing is the axe head.
The head looked incredibly ordinary at first glance, except for its overly bright paste blue colour, but once you look closer, you can see intricately carved lotus flowers, facing the edge, while spewing flames.
It looks.. surreal.
I go inside the forest, and once I confirmed that I’m in the very middle, I cut all trees around me, making an empty part with a diameter of 6 meters.
The axe sliced the trees, not like butter, I didn’t even feel any resistance.
Once that is done, I take out a seed and modify it to suit my needs. A tree that pierces the sky, is what I need.
Now that this is done, I dig up some soil with earth manipulation, put the seed, then cover it, and step back quickly.
Rumble rumble rumble.. Pshhhhhh!
The earth rumbled for a moment, then a large tree, with a width of 4 meters in diameter, came into existence, it climbed up high in the sky, reaching past the clouds, then simply stopped.
It sprouted large, green leaves and small, beautiful pink flowers that decorate well the dark colour of the tree.
Since this is done, I modify the elves to have a maximum of 5000 years lifespan, and give the High Elf a 100,000 years lifespan.
But wait, dear chen, what use is of High Elves?
They can contact me directly, if needed, and they will be stronger, and always have a law-defying beauty.
Obviously, high elves will be females only, cough cough.
No?
Fine.. 10:1, females to male High Elves.
Also, they don’t mate except at maybe… 90 thousand years of living?
Good good, now, what lifespan did I make a fairy’s?
Ehh.. let’s make them double an elf’s, and the High Fairy will have thrice that of a High Elf’s.
And being stunningly beautiful and cute shape of a 10 year old female.
Yes yes, but before that, let’s put a Fairy Fountain.
Where.. where do I put you.. Aha!
About a kilometer in the west, a very good place was presented on my plate (island).
Now let’s add a magical fountain and surround it with stone slabs like a well, give those slabs a magical feeling…
…
Done!
The fountain is where fairies will usually spawn.
Put emphasis on Usually.
I enchanted this forever gushing spring to have healing abilities, anti-aging, strengthening, aaand the best of all…
If an item is bathed in it for a week, it becomes of Magic quality.
Wait chen, what about Super Magic Tree?
It is of Super Magic quality, but Super World is higher.
Hey chen, can you just list the qualities and stuff?
Yeah yeah, so let’s be clear, each quality is divided into three sub qualities.
Low-Mid-High
So we have : Common < Uncommon < Rare < Unique < Magical < Mythology < Primal < Mega < Ultra < Super < Godlike
Wowww… I hear you saying.
But chen, why is there Super Magic, etc..
Because those are tree types, so it is a Magic Tree, but of Super quality.
You get it now?
But chen, what about tree ty-
No. Not now, I’ll answer it later.
So, yeah, the Super Fairy Fountain is done.
But chen, why don’t you make Godlike stuff?
.. Why should I?
Super is already overkill, alright?
With just this axe, If I use it seriously, and maybe enchant it, then I can wipe a whole continent off the map.
But chen, can you please tell us just how strong the strongest is?
The strongest has his highest stat 600, and average people have 10-20, and experts are in the 300s.
But did you know.. there is a limit.
Yep, and the limit is 999.
But chen, how can you give the monsters more than that?
Because monsters are monsters, they are exempt from this rule, hehe.
However, those monsters are incredibly rare, such as.. the Great 4 Dragons and the High Dragon.
Those are another topic, but as long as you have the numbers and equipment, you can beat them.
Don’t also forget the skills, they are important as well.
Anyhow, my High Elves and High Fairies have a special class that is stronger than normal, so…
I’ll give them 10 stat points per level and somewhat easier skill learning.
Yes yes..
Done.
.. how will I make them work, though?
Like, do I instill fake memories or what..-
“Disconnected.”
… that’s fine too..
I’ll think of it for a bit, so.. yeah.
Don’t have the energy to curse at the author this time, heh, what a shame.
Actually..
DAMN YOU, I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THE DWARVES YET!
--Chapter 5 end--
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