《New World +》Ch.13 Men got to eat
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A group of people sat around a small ring of stone in the middle was a small pit with a hearty fire above the fire was a crude spit four sticks stacked in an X shape with a stick laid in between them a large haunch of meat was skewered on the stick being awkwardly turned as parts of the sticks caught on each other.
"So who wants to try it first?" David asked as he looked at the other two people.
"Are we sure it's safe to eat this?" Lance asked as he nervously gulped.
"Should be." Andrew said as he tried to turn the spit "Lee's group has been checking and we know that it's at least not poisons the real question is if our bodies can digest matter from this world, dimension, thing." Andrew shrugged as he continued "We only have three ideas right now one were able to eat it just like normal the evidence for that is we can breath just fine so there's probably nothing to worry about. Two would be that it just sits inside our stomachs and is just an inert lump of matter like a huge wad of gum which would be unpleasant and the third option is that it explodes are bodies as the two different types of matter reject each other or something Lee thinks it's unlikely since it would basically make us walking nuces or something." Andrew finished talking as he turned to the two in front of him they didn't look very assured "So any of you want some of this?"
"Uh no i'm good" David said as he and Lance backed away.
"Yeah I'm good on not eating a potential bomb" Lance said as he shook away the offer.
"Well guess this is on me then FOR SCIENCE!" Andrew shouted as he took a bite "Gah" Andrew cried as he spat the meat out crouching and clenching at his mouth.
"Whoa whats wrong!!" "Fuck are you ok!?" David and Jace yelled as they ran up to Andrew
"AHH I FUWKIN BWERT MI SWELF!!" Andrew shouted.
"Dude you gave me a heart attack there." David said as he relaxed "WATWER GET MWE SOME WWATER PWELS!" Andrew continued to shout.
"Jezze ok man here calm down" Lance said as he handed Andrew a bottled water which he downed greedily "It's your own fault for eating it right out of the fire what are you an idiot."
"Iwf it wwas swoe stiwped wy didw't yow sttwop me?" Andrew asked glaring at Lance
"Hey man negligence is not the same as ignorance you can't pin this on us." David intergected.
Andrew just glared at the two of them as they shuffled around awkwardly.
"Ok, ok we're sorry we didn't think you were going to burn yourself alright" Lance blerted out sounding slightly annoyed.
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"More importantly how did it taste?" David asked as he looked at the stick of meat that had been discarded on the ground.
"Ish down't knowws." Andrew said as he picked up the dropped meat he looked for a clean spot before taking a bite slowly savoring it before stopping for a moment.
""Well?"" The two asked as the looked at him expectantly.
"Itsh ish amazing!!" Andrew shouted tears were in his eyes as he savoured the morsel in his mouth.
""Really!"" The two said in surprise they would have never guessed that it would have been good!
"Ok let me try some!" David said as he pulled a piece of the meat off.
"Me too!" Lance said as he also tore a small chunk off.
Both of them ate the meat at the same time as they slowly chewed the meat their faces suddenly became stiff.
"Blaugh"
"Pthuff"
"Ugh! That was Awful it was so Fucking dry it tasted like a Boot! Ugh!" David yelled out as he glared accusingly at Andrew.
"Bleah it's like the outside was burnt to a crisp but the inside is still rare it's so flavourless where's the salt where's the barbecue sauces!" Lance also shouted as he pointed angrily as Andrew.
"This thing goes to being so watery that it has no flavor to being so dry that it's barren how in gods green earth did you manage to fail so bad!!!" David continued his tirade as lance tried desperately to get the taste out of his mouth.
Andrew for his part was laughing exuberantly at their misery. For all he was concerned they had gotten what they deserved.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US HOW CAN WE TRUST YOU IF WE CAN'T TRUST YOU TO TELL US WHAT'S GOOD TO EAT OR NOT!!!!!" Lance bellowed he was actually crying it tasted so bad.
Andrew also was crying but that was mostly because his burnt mouth and not so much for his laughter well a little of both actually.
"It hwerts to lawgh ahah owow ha ha ow" Andrew entered a special type of hell as his burnt mouth was agitated by his own laughing. this continued till Andrew was able to get his flask of medicine water back from David and Lance that decided that they would get revenge by playing keep away with it.
"Ok ok let's put this nonsense behind us" Andrew said as he finally fixed his burnt tongue "If a spit dosen't work then all that's left is the tried and true method of soup!" Andrew said as he pulled a large clay pot from seemingly nowhere.
"How and also 'HOW!'" David asked as he pointed a scratched up hand at the pot.
"Remember how those grass bags that Lee's team made at the crystal clearing they could hold more than their volume in matter and didn't add much to their mass when doing so Lee's group has been perfecting how efficient their bags are so far this is the best they could fit inside of one." Andrew said as he put the pot down it was round and crude but it was almost a foot in diameter and almost 2 feet tall as well. Andrew set the pot over the fire and started to put in ingredients.
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"The best thing about soup is that you can put almost everything in it for now we're going to put in chicken meat and bone. Don't ask about the bones I don't get it either Than just said that it was necessary. Then we're going to put in this weird green curly thing? Maril says it's some kind of herb that's savory? or something, then there's some other weird herbs like this root thing this mushroom that has the freaky eye markings on it and last if not least thies weird white crystal things that are apparently salt like at least according to Lee." Andrew said as he throw everything into the now boiling water and started to stir the thing.
"Um the bones are for making the broth and you probably should have waited at least an hour to let the broth mix before you put in the other ingredients." Lance interjected a bit too late to really do anything thou.
"Well next time you can make the damn soup mister cook!" Andrew said as he continued to stir the pot "I'm sure it will be fine we'll just fish the bones out before we eat it ok..." Andrew said as he stirred the soup before something caught his eye and he stopped.
"Did you guys just see what I saw?" Andrew asked slowly.
"If you mean are we seeing the pot glow than yes we are seeing what you're seeing" David said as the three fell away from the pot.
"Why is the soup glowing!?!" A disparate Lance asked
"Maybe it's some kind of magic congratulations Andrew your a wizard now." David said with a small chuckle
"Peleas, Magic as if! or that what I would be saying right now if I hadn't just spent nine hours of my life in Colonel Sanders personal hell and didn't spend the next three hours wondering why it's only in the afternoon!" Andrew started to rant.
"Hey so are we just going to ignore the magic pot of probable doom or what?" Lance asked as he looked at the other two.
"Well someone's got to go and check it." David said as the three started to stand up.
"One, two, three, '"not it"' Andrew yelled and lance quickly followed suite.
"Really guys you're acting like children let's discuss this like reasonable adults... uff" David started to speak before Andrew and Lance pushed him forward. Grumbling to himself David went over and looked into the pot to find surprise surprise it was glowing he turned back to the other two.
"Now what?" his question was answered by Andrew who shouted.
"Drink it!"
"WHAT NO I'M NOT DRINKING SOME GLOWING RED SOUP" David shouted at the unreasonable demand.
"Come on it's magic remember it will give you superpowers" Lance pestered him as he flexed his arms making superman poses
"NO I'M NOT AN IDIOT THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!" David retorted as he clenched his fist.
"It will make girls actually like you!" Andrew yelled in encouragement.
"LIKE THAT MATTERS NOW THANKS TO YOU" David yelled back.
"Come on stop being a baby!" Lance shouted.
"I'M NOT BEING A BABY I'M THE ONLY ONE BEING REASONABLE HERE DON'T THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU SLOWLY BACKING AWAY YOU BASTARDS!!" David shouted livid as the two continued to slowly back away from him. David's irritation was only made worse as his admission only made them move backward more quickly and obviously.
"COME ON AT LEAST PUT A LITTLE ON YOUR HAND A LITTLE WON'T HURT YOU IT'S FOR SCIENCE REMEMBER" Andrew shouted he cupped his hands over his mouth in order to be heard clearer.
David just decided to give up since this was a magic world if he died than he would probably become a ghost then he could haunt them by pull down their pants when they're in public or something. bracing himself he used the stirring spoon to take out a small amount of soup and pour a drop out.
slowly.... slowly..... slowly.... "AGH FUCK!!" David shouted as he accidently poured the boiling glowing red soup all over his scratched up hand it stung like a bitch before suddenly stopping as he looked at his hand he saw that it hadn't changed all that much other than the fact that it was on FUCKING FIRE! David had a moment to freak out before realizing that it wasn't on fire it was just glowing red. David stared at it stupid for a moment as he turned his hand over looking at it from all angles.
"Well looks like we caught you /red/ handed." Andrew said from behind him David was to engrossed to be startled by his sudden appearance though.
"Man there were probably a million time and places that that joke could have been funny here and you just wasted them all of them." David deadpanned as he moved to look at the two fools behind him.
"well I guess I've got superpowers now."
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