Chapter 6: The Curse

As I sat in the dark I eventually tuned out the screams of the soldiers and anyone else I was probably killing. The mark on my hand had changed from a black color to glowing red and pulsed every couple of seconds. It was too dim however, to produce enough light to see. I couldn’t see anything in my own surroundings. It was all pitch black and although it felt like there was some kind of platform underneath me, I knew it wasn’t real. I wondered what was happening in the real world what I was doing.

The darkness felt eerie and was too still for my own personal liking. I also felt as if I were being watched. I figured I was probably somehow trapped in a state of mind. It wouldn’t be bad stuck here if it were for a short period of time. Although I needed to get out to see Mira. She would probably be worried by now I wasn’t going to show. I needed to find her before she decided to leave or was found by someone else. I didn’t like the idea of that all too much.

“Your probably curious about what’s going on. Do you want to take a peek?” I heard a deep, raspy voice ask.

“Huh, who are you?” I asked a bit fearful. It may have been my mind, but It didn’t mean I couldn’t be creeped out.

“Don’t be scared of me. We both come from the same place.” The voice said with a melancholic sigh.

“Who are you?” I asked again regaining my composure. “Show yourself.” I demanded.

“Do you really want to know who I am? Are you certain you can handle the truth?” The voice asked raising its tone from a normal tone to an aggressive one.

“What do you mean?” I asked confused by the voice’s tone.

“Why do you think your surrounded in darkness right now?” It asked me. I thought to myself about it. The reason I was probably surrounded was because I wasn’t supposed to see.

I responded “Is it because I’m not supposed to see?”

“No, but it is rather close to that answer.” The voice replied.

“I don’t know.” I said a bit defeated.

“The answer is that you can’t see because you don’t want to. Your mind is blocking out all the horrific things your doing right now so you don’t go insane. The voice explained. “Do you recall killing the soldiers today?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Did you feel even a hint of remorse about it?”

“It’s not something I would normally do, but no I didn’t.” I said.

“Why do you think that was?”

“I have no Idea.”

“The answer is me. You didn’t feel any remorse because although you were in control I was taking care of everything behind the scenes. Do you want to take a look at what’s going on right now?” The voice asked me excitedly as if it were a kid who had just found candy.

“Yes.” I responded quickly without much thought.

“Brace yourself.” The voice said with a deep chuckle. A set of drapes appeared and I saw a dark figure appear. The figure pulled the right drape away and I saw into the real world. One of my eyes were distorted and the vision was hard to see through clearly. The other was perfectly intact. “Your left eye was just recently destroyed by a dagger and is currently regenerating. You’ll have to give it some time.” The voice explained nonchalantly.

As I looked through the right eye I saw Carlisle’s west wall had been partially destroyed and along the walls there were dead bodies and blood stains lining the west wall. I was currently outside of the city looking back at it from the tree line. Between me and the wall were around a hundred or more dead soldiers and the occasional guts of one. Further into the city there was a raging fire and a couple destroyed buildings. “What happened?” I asked bewildered at the sight I was taking in.

“This is your power Ruthven. All of this destruction you caused.” It said with a heavy laughter.

“I didn’t. I couldn’t have done this.” I said in denial. ‘There’s no way I would have attacked Carlisle. I would have tried to escape without further casualties.”

“You did this. It’s your fault so accept it. You didn’t adhere to your curse’s rules and you lost control.” It told me coldly. “I’m not sure if Inferos told you, but you now have to consume blood every three days. If you don’t that clock will tick further forward. Every time it hits another mark you lose more of your humanity and each time you will cause more damage. You will grow in power and ability every time it ticks up a notch, but your curse will gain more control. Every time you lose a piece of yourself it gains more control over your actions. Every time you die you will come back a little bit stronger than you died.” It explained.

“What happened here should be a reminder to not lose control.” The voice said again.

“How do you know all of this?” I asked him.

“Experience.” He subtly replied. “I’ve been through this before. It won’t be my first and it probably won’t be my last either.”

The figure closed the drapes and walked towards me. He got right up next to me and lit a match. The match was used to light a candle in a lantern and then the figure put it down. The figure put his hand on the lantern and said “Brighten.” The darkness was heavily illuminated by the lantern’s light. When I looked at the figure I realized he was me.

“Surprised aren’t you?” He asked laughing casually.

“You’re me?!” I asked with amazement.

“I am not you, but we are one and the same. You are the conscious part of Ruthven and I am the subconscious part. We are different and yet we are the same in a sense.” He told me.

“Who is in control of my body right now?” I asked him.

“You already know the answer Ruthven. Based off of what I told you. Just think about it.” It couldn’t be my subconscious because he wouldn’t harm people if he truly felt how I did. That only left two people. Somehow Inferos was controlling me; or alternatively it was the curse. The latter seemed more plausible, but didn’t really make all that much sense.

“I lost to the curse. So the curse must be in control right now right?” I asked him expectantly.

“Yes, the curse is sentient.” He replied. He pointed behind me at a door. The door was red and wooden door. I had a bad feeling about it. I knew I was safe on this side of the door, but I didn’t want to pass it. “Beyond that door is the curse. Until you master it you will keep losing control even if you consume blood. You will always be fighting it. Whether you are awake or asleep you’ll have to fight it. Eventually every so often the urge will become too strong and you’ll lose control. If that's not the case you’ll grow weak from having to constantly fight it off and it’ll win. I mean as of now it already owns a sixth of your soul. Truthfully you shouldn’t even attempt going in there yet. It is far too dangerous right now and the risks are high.”

“Why? I thought you said it was important to master it.”

“It is. However, everytime you fail you forfeit a piece of your humanity and then I will have to get you back out. You aren’t ready to face it yet so don’t rush towards death.” He told me. “You have a lot to learn. Like the fact you aren’t the only cursed one.”

“I’m not?” I asked him confused.

“There are many like you out there. Inferos does take advantage of people’s situations to force them into accepting his gift. You’ll meet one of them sooner or later. The cursed ones are merely Inferos’s puppets of chaos and disorder. If you lose complete control and forfeit all of your humanity then you no longer can stay human and will turn into a monster.”

“Then I should definitely get control over my ability.” I said.

“You’ll get control through that red door. I wouldn’t advise going right now however.

“What will I have to do in order to beat it?” I ask.

“You should know the answer.” He replied dismissively. I’m afraid that out time is at an end. I’ll see you around next time. Let’s not meet again on the same terms.” He said as he picked up the lantern and blew it out. I heard his footsteps walk away and when he was at the distance just before his footsteps no longer echoed he yelled back “Remember if you want to confront your curse you need to consume blood every three days and focus on not losing control. If you ever forget that I’ll leave you to figure things out on your own.” After he said that I heard nothing and I knew I was alone again.

The darkness faded and I could see the surroundings around me. It was sometime during the night and I was leaning on a tree propping myself up with my left arm. My armour and cloak were tattered from injuries I had taken and now loosely hung around my body. My body ached and I felt weak. Somewhere in my abdomen I felt a heavy wound. I looked down to see a spear tip broken off in my gut. I reached down and pulled it out. I grimaced in pain and tried not to make any noise in the process so I could avoid giving my position away if I was being pursued.

Once the spear tip was removed I focused on healing it which sapped the rest of my strength. I slid down the tree and sat at the base of it. I had a pretty good idea of what happened while I was out of control, but I had no idea where I was or were Mira was. I told here I’d be meeting her outside some point, but I had no idea where she was or for that matter where I was.

I was too tired to move so I just looked up. I wanted to view the moon, but the leaves from the tree were blocking out all the light. That reminded me of what Inferos had told me. He said I would be strongest during the full moon. Perhaps if I could get in the moonlight I would be restored. Even if that were true, I was going to need a few minutes, to recover enough strength, to walk out, from the shade the tree cast out. Which happened to be around fifteen feet or so.

I thought in silence about all the things my subconscious said. Most of it made sense to me, but the information was still a bit much to take in. I didn’t have time to think about this right now though because right now the first thing I needed to think of was Mira. I hadn’t decided whether the curse was a mistake or not yet. However, it had taken away a lot of things about my life. So far it was mostly negative. I looked down at the clock on my hand. Vines had now grown around the clock and they spread part of the way up my forearm.

I was still weak, but I got to my feet and stumbled over into the moonlight and basked in its radiance. As I did the moon restored my energy and I felt strong again. Stronger than before and with every passing second I felt stronger. I needed to find mira. I set off in the direction I was facing so I could attempt finding her.