Interlude One - Of Evan And Michael, Of Endings And Beginnings, Of Love And Loss

His name was Evan Langsley, well before he decided to become a Superhero, but now, he went by the name 'Lightbringer'. He was 36 years old, with a Mum and a Sister, but his father had died before he was born. His family was fairly wealthy, his Father being a Merchant Banker of no small renown. He had made sure that his family would be provided for, no matter what happened.

When Evan was born, both his Mum and a few of the closer family members could tell straight away that he was destined for great things. Or so he was lead to believe for the entirety of his life. One could easily say that he was Midas Touched, for everything that he put his mind to, he succeeded, even excelled, in. When he was in school, his teachers had nothing but praise for him and for the efforts he made to help others. Even his enemies respected him, being that the strongest feeling they experienced towards him was envy. To all the other kids, he was the light and the warm they gathered around and found themselves grateful to have known him.

This streak saw him all the way through to university. There was where he fell from grace. Growing up as he had in the school system, he had never felt himself growing close to another. He thought of and treated all the other students as his friends, maybe some as his acolytes. Yet there was distance he felt with them. He was unable to find those one or two people for whom he could count on, rather than being the rock that everybody else clung to. He was missing that vital connection that would have allowed him to gain both the balance and perception of what it was like to be truly close to another human being. Maybe if he had made those connections, he wouldn't have fallen as far as he had, maybe he wouldn't have been born into the mockery of the path he later chose to walk.

It was in the second week of university when he met Him. That shining beacon which drew him in, and made in finally fall in love. His name was Michael, and where Evan was dark of hair and slight of body with blue eyes, Michael too was dark of hair, but of red rather than brown, slightly smaller, but with a fuller frame, made of loosely packed muscle, like someone who kept himself in shape without going overboard. Both had taken the Ancient History class out of love of the lore of the old times, when true Romance was celebrated and venerated, rather than cheaply thrown about, where two people would profess their undying love for each other, then hook up with a new partner by the end of the month. They both yearned for that one true light in the darkness, the love that would finally make sense out of this world of chaos.

Evan was shocked at first at finding this such strong and deep well of emotion for another boy. No, another man. He had grown up in a conservative household and in a small town school. It wasn't that being homosexual was a violation of nature, where the first mere hint would lead to an immediate ostracization. Rather that his Mother had always wanted a daughter-in-law and expected grandchildren, that the thought that her Son could be gay had never entered the merest notion in her mind. If her Son had told her of his orientation, it wouldn't have made the slightest dent in her love for him. Maybe if she had told him this, it might have made a difference. But she hadn't, so it didn't.

In his school, he had been so determined to live up to the expectations of his teachers and of his Mother, that he had been totally oblivious to the nature of Romance. Unknowingly, his teachers had placed such hopes upon his shoulders, that they have never considered that he could be Gay. They had continuously told him 'You will the girl of your dreams and be so happy, one day' or 'One day, you will meet your perfect love, you will marry her and such beautiful and intelligent children together'. These hopes and dreams of others and the sense of duty that he expected of himself had come together to create the unspoken fact that he was Straight. He had looked, when he was in school, for that one female that would complete him as he had been promised by so many others. But as hard as he looked, no female had ever stirred his heart, nor his loins. So, he continued to search, never questioning this intrinsically flawed sense of who and what he was.

But that had all changed when he met Michael. Not Mike, or Mikey, or Micky, but Michael. When Evan espied Michael from across the room, he seriously started to worry that he was experiencing an early onset heart attack. For his heart had suddenly to flutter and stutter so fast and hard, that it was physically painful. He turned away at that moment and exited out of the door, and leant on a wall in the hallway, closed his eyes, and willed his heart back into proper rhythm. At first, it was futile as he was battling the instinctive urge to cry out for help. But his faith in mastering himself and quickly overrid that urge. Taking a deep breath from his diaphragm, he held on for five seconds, then slowly released it through his nose. He kept on repeating this cycle of breathing, whilst looking inwards. Concentrating on his heart, he willed the organ to slow back into its proper state. Over the course of six and a half minutes, he regained control of himself. At some point, he thought he heard his lecturer call out to him. He couldn't recall what was said him or what the replied, but when he eventually opened his eyes, he was still alone in the hallway.

Hands shaking from the resulting adrenaline surging through his system, not yet having totally subsided, he turned and entered the classroom once more. It must have been the Professor he had 'talked' to back in the hallway, for when he had left, no Professor, but when he re-entered, Professor Greenway was unpacking his satchel, making ready to begin the class. Professor Greenway, or Hank as he insisted the class call him, looked over to Evan and asked in a concerned voice, in his signature deep bass, 'Are you alright now son?', to which Evan replied 'Yes, thank you, Hank, must have been the overdose of caffeine from last night's gaming session'.

Hanked then replied in a strict and uncompromising voice, yet still tinged with good humour and a little relief as he greatly respected the young lad "Alrighty then. But be forewarned, for if I catch you sleeping in MY class, then I will be demonstrating one of the more archaic and surprisingly effect methods of 'Persuasion' on you".

"Yes, sir. Then I will make sure that you don't 'Catch' me sleeping", Evan jokingly and cheekily replied.

Everyone in the room let out a light titter at the exchange. Then the class got underway.

During the three hour long lesson of discussion, sermon, recitation and creative debate on the ancient Greeks, Evan kept finding his gaze wandering over to that strange boy who had made his heart rebel against his control. And each time his eyes found the strange being in question, his heart once again tried to go into excited overdrive, but Evan kept an iron grip on himself, looked away, and mastered himself each time.

Around the fourth or fifth time that he glanced over to the strange student that had so strangely affected him, he found two hauntingly beautiful grey eyes looking back at him. They captured his gaze for what seemed like an eternity but was probably more like two or three seconds. Eventually, Evan ripped his sight away from the bewitching student. Whilst his heart was making a serious and concerted effort to tear its way from his chest, Evan couldn’t stop reliving the plethora of images that had raced through his mind, even as he placed his eyes firmly upon his blank notebook.

Eyes the colour of sun-backed clouds, moments before they released their life-giving rains down upon the earth and plants; the colour of silence in the morning before the bustle of the day begins to intrude the quiet of his thoughts’; colour of a gentle caress of another that truly cares accepts him for who is his, and cares for how he feels he must sacrifice for others without taking a moment for himself; colour, of the missing piece of his soul, of him.

Evan was terrified of these emotions, sensations and thoughts flooding through him for another Man. He had no experiences with even kissing another human being outside of his family. For the rest of the class, he tried to reconcile the feelings he had for another member of the same sex. Without much success, not that it needed to be said.

As soon as the class ended, Evan packed up his bag and firmly exited the room without a single glance backwards at the enticing pair of eyes.

It had only been two weeks since the start of term and Evan had already amassed a group of about twenty people who flocked to his light. It wasn’t that he actively tried to cultivate a Cult, but it seemed to have naturally and organically where ever he went. And the group would always slowly grow, till it encompassed nearly every malleable mind he came into constant contact with.

It was the attention that he unwittingly paid to them. The confidence yet gentle care he gave to every single one of them. They each experience the feeling that when they were around him, that the world would fall away, leaving only Even and them in it. It could easily be compared to a drug that was being exuded on an unconscious level. And each time they would gather around Evan, they would get another hit, but without the diminishing effects. They existed in harmony with Evan and every other person in the group. The longer they were affected, the more they felt like they had finally found their purpose. Finally, they had found the place that they belonged.

Even though there were plenty of other people that were not affected by Evan, they still non-the-less felt a sense of Joy in his company. Joy not of Evan himself, but rather the Joy of life, of what the day could hold, the unending possibilities of the future. After they had parted ways with Evan for good, whenever the would look back to him, they would describe Evan as being one of Those people who made life the better just from being in it.

It would take weeks, sometimes months for the feeling of the Joy to pass, only be strengthed with repeat contact with Evan. Eventually, with enough exposure, the feeling of the Joy would be made permanent.

But no matter with how much he affect other people for the better, he always felt the hole in his life, like something or someone, was missing from it. And until that fateful day in the lecture hall, he had been searching in vain, only hoping that he would recognise that missing piece when he did finally find it. And although he didn’t recognise it at the time, when he met the eyes of his beloved, his life had finally been made complete. He had found his Joy.

The next day, when Evan had again Ancient History, he found the person with the grey eyes standing in the doorway of the classroom. Stopping dead in his tracks, Evan didn’t know what to do, or what to say to the boy with the grey eyes. So he just stared in stupefied wonder, not saying a word, feeling for the first time in his entire life, a blush dominating the entirety of his face, watching as the god in front of him smile. And moment by moment, the smile became somehow more intense, as if they boy, no, Man in front of him was also recognising the missing piece of his soul, but knowing exact what the feeling was, and accepting it without question.

And those beautiful eyes somehow seemed to say without words, ‘We have found each other, and I will never let you go’.

And that is how they finally met.

Evan and Michael.

For three glorious and wonderful years, Evan had for the first and last time, had found Love, completion, Joy and peace. What others had found in his presence, he had found in Michael, as too had Michael found in Evan.

Even though Evan had found his missing half, he didn’t know how to tell his family about Michael. Having grown up as he did, he thought that he would no longer be accepted in his family and he feared to be made anOutcast. He loved his Mum and Sister, but his love for Michael eclipsed all other loves.

So he lived the life of the secret lovers. He hoped that one day he would find the courage to admit to the world at large that he was in Love with Michael, and he feared the day when that love would be taken from him, hoping, selfishly, that he would be the first to go, fearing that his heart would physically break from losing Michael.

But for now, until they reached the age of glorious old men, that would be something that he wouldn’t have to deal with. For now, he could finally love.

But as in all great Love affairs, there was a darkness lurking.

Unbeknownst to Evan, there existed somebody else who loved him from afar, without words being said, and without that love being returned. But that was alright for Her, as She knew in her heart, that Evan returned her love back a thousand fold.

It had started in the final year of their primary school together. She had finally awoken to the longing, and she longed totally and Utterly for Evan. But she could never say it, for She was the Ugly Duckling, as her Mother would call her.

Her Mother’s nickname for Her had sunken so deep into her psyche, that she truly believed that she was The Ugly Duckling, even though the other boys, and no few girls, would comment on her attractiveness. She came to believe that these were taunts and cutting remarks to mock her and further the humiliation.

She became quieter and more withdrawn as She grew. She learned to hide in her clothes, to stick to the edges of the room, lest She is noticed. But her tactics failed, as they were bound to do to such a blossoming beauty. As time passes as it is wont to do, more people noticed her, and more people tried to befriend Her or tried to hit on Her. But The Ugly Duckling knew better to believe what they said to Her. She knew that they were just setting her up to eventually tear Her right back down. Because people always hate what they fear, and they always fear what they find Repulsive. And She was Repulsive, Mother always said so after all.

But there was finally Evan. Evan, who made her feel special, and wanted and loved. Previous to that time, she had been enrolled in the Caversham Primary School, one county over from Evan. At the end of her fifth year, her Mother had been offered a promotion at her company, but it required her Mother to move towns. It was just Mother and Her now, as her father had long ago left that ‘Putrescent Bitch’ that she remembered him call Mother. That had been five years ago now, and she hadn’t seen her father since.

And that one move is the single nicest, probably only nicest, thing that I can recall that Mother had ever done for me. For I had met my love, Evan.

I could tell then that Evan was special. You only had to look at the people around Him to see the effect that He had. He was kind, patient, caring and generous with his time to everybody that he met. The first time I laid eyes on him, I Knew that we were made for each other. It took three days of the school year starting till we first looked into each other eyes. And there, I saw the love I had for him reflecting back to me. Without words being said, without any overt gestures or signals, I Knew.

But we couldn’t declare our love, for I knew that an Ugly Duckling like me would be torn away at the first sign of his caring for me. Nobody would believe he could possibly have feelings for me. A Prince can never love a monster. The only way that could come to be is if the monster had placed a curse on the Prince. And as everybody knows, monsters are to be slain on sight.

So we kept our love hidden until the time came when we could finally run away and be together.

Primary school became Secondary, which in turn evolved into college, and I faithfully followed in his wake, staying hidden, keeping him safe. I knew I should leave him, that if They found out about our Love, it could put him in danger. But I couldn’t stop Loving Him. I couldn’t take being cut off from the single light that made my entire existence bearable.

Providence shone down upon us when it came to going to university. We both got offers of acceptance, although, for me, I got offered a scholarship for the Computer Sciences. If that wasn’t Destiny calling, then Evan must have made sure, somehow, that I got the same placement.

But with the university, something changed. The first week, everything was going according to plan. We had made a secret rendezvous, and Evan had declared his undying Love was still strong, and that when we had both gotten our degrees, we could finally be together, away from here. Just Us. Forever.

Then in the second week, his behaviour changed. When we met in secret a few days later, I asked him if something was wrong? He replied that he thought that someone was onto us, that for my sake that he would have to keep his distance till he could make sure that I was sure. And I fell in love with him all over again.

A year passed, and Evan told me that he thought that someone was following him. So I told him that I would start to trail Him, see if I could pick up on who is stalker was. Evan tried to get me to back off, stating that if the stalker found out about me, that he or she might kill me to keep us apart. But I told Him that we were both in this relationship, that I have as much right to put myself in danger, and he does for me. Finally, after a few minutes of back and forth, he acquiesced. He told me to be careful, that His life wouldn’t be worth living without me.

Two days later, I hovered outside of his Ancient History lecture hall. A few minutes later, the class was dismissed, and I made sure that as the other students were leaving the hall, to make out like I was interested in some of the courses being offered on the message board. Keeping the exit in my peripheral vision, seconds later I saw Evan walking out talking to some boy, who I later learned as name Michael. They reached the door to the auditorium and went their separate ways. I started to trail Evan, to see if I could make out who was stalking him.

Unfortunately, literally a minute later, I lost Evan. Of course, I moaned to myself, if I can follow Evan, then anybody can, I am not the stealthiest of people. Evan had probably practised in losing a tail. I have to improve if I want to keep him safe.

For three months, I tried by best to get better at following Evan, but each and every time, I lost him. I just have to have faith that Evan can find out the evil plotter who wants to break us apart. Every time I walk past him in the halls, I can see that me being in danger like this is hurting him more and more. So I communicate with Him just to hold on for a little longer, that after all this, we can finally be together.

Two years later and I think I have found my suspect. It’s that Michael I saw on that very first hunt. Every time Evan leaves the class, Michael is right there at his side, trying to poison his mind against me. But I can tell that Evan is still resisting his evil wiles. I have even seen Michael’s eyes follow Evan as the split apart, filled with malevolence towards him.

And I, out of the blue and completely unsuspecting, come across the two of them together. And Michael is trying to Evan. That evil bastard must have given up and just decided to end my Beloved. He his lying atop of him, trying to choke Evan. Luckily, for those two years, I have taken precautions for just a situation like this.

I take out my six-inch kitchen knife, and carefully, so as not to warn the fiend, I sneak up behind his back, silently praying that Evan is still alive and that I am not too late, I stab the knife down onto the Evil one’s neck. He collapses onto Evan. Finally, we are safe; now we can get on with our lives.

Michael and I had snuck out for another secret tryst, but I could tell that our time of being a secret couple was coming to an end. Michael had lately been trying to get me to come out, to tell my family about him. That it didn’t matter that if they could not longer accept me because I would always have him. I managed to again to put it off, saying that I will tell them when I have gotten my Doctorate, and then we can live our lives together, free to tell the world. We could even get Married. I had even bought engagement rings as a surprise for later tonight, to show I much I Loved him and I wanted to everybody on campus to know. But I just had to wait a little longer to tell my Mother.

Mollified, if not entirely pleased, Michael agreed to meet me at our spot in the park, a secret place where only we two knew about. I had been feeling like someone had been following me just lately, and I wanted to be somewhere where I knew it would just be us alone.

I had planned this whole romantic spiel of how he was the only person in my life that I could truly count one, the one that made life worth living, that I wanted us to be together to be old men, and to death truly do us part. But like so much of our time together, when I saw his mesmerising grey eyes, words suddenly felt inadequate, like they couldn’t come close to imparting all on my feeling and desires in their inefficient and incomplete forms.

So, instead of making a speech, I simply stepped into his embrace, caress his lips with mine, then I stepped away, and went down to one knee, and simply asked, “Will you marry me, Michael Gregory Williams?”.

And he gave the simplest yet most power answers that anyone could have replied with, “I Will”.

And with that, I took out the rings, simple gold bands unadorned with any decoration, but inscribed with simple words, ‘Evan, together, forever, before, after, today and tomorrow, Love Michael’, on one, and on the other, ‘Michael, together, forever, before, after, today and tomorrow, Love Evan’. I showed Michael the rings, and in that quiet place entirely our own, we made our vows to each other and exchanged the rings onto each other's fingers. I knew that this wasn’t the legal definition of a wedding, but this was Ours. Just Us.

Then I stepped back into his embraced, and kissed his gorgeous lips once again, and dragged him down to the ground with me, with him on top. And we continued to kiss gently, without the need to be utterly passionate, just enjoying the moment as it continued.

Then from one moment to the next, Michael stiffened up, gasped, and collapsed on top of me. I actually entertained the notion that all of our gentle shiftings had caused him to climax, but just seconds later, I could feel something warm and wet dripping down onto my throat. Michael was limp in my arms.

Then a voice called out, “Of Evan, your safe now that I’ve killed the bastard that was trying to keep us apart. Come on, before somebody finds us. We can run”.

I looked Michael and the first thing I saw was a knife sticking out of the back of his neck, a knife for god's sake. Slowly, but surely, the realisation sunk in the Michael, my sweet Michael, was dead, not asleep. It felt like my mind kept resetting, that Michael was just asleep, then I realised that he was dead kept on going over and over in my mind. My utter rejection of the possibility.

Whilst my mind was trying its best to comprehend the situation, I was sure that the stranger kept on talking, something like how we needed to leave right now. Minutes passed, and I slowly came to accept this for what it was. My time was up; my life would never be the same again. Michael, how had helped me, shown me the world as beautiful as he was, was now gone.

Slowly I sat up, gently easing Michael to the ground, his opening eyes still looking into mine, and I swear I could see the light and life leave those eyes. I couldn’t look away; I won’t accept this.

I turn around to confront Michael’s killer, and I see a girl, attractive by any measure, wearing an almost demented look of adoration. And I growl out the single, most important question in the forefront of my mind, “Why?”.

“Why?”, she replies, confusion ring out from her tone. “His was trying to kill you, to take you away from me. But it’s alright now; I stopped him, we can be together like you always said, we can run away!”.

I can feel the rage building in my chest, my stricken grief solidifying into my limbs, with a single piercing thought ‘Revenge’. I am going to make this demented bitch pay for killing Him. My reason. My Hope. My Dream.

I raise myself to a standing stance, and I think that she can see the murderous intent in my eyes, for hers widen like a startled deer, and she raises the knife as a warning to keep me away, but I lunge towards her.

I can feel the knife entering my chest, having chosen to end it here and now, but I will take her with me. The knife enters in the centre of my chest, feeling like it only narrowly missing my heart but puncturing a lung. I step back, look down to the knife, and slowly reach up to grab it and quickly pull it out. I can feel my life blood leaking from my chest, but I somehow knew that I had more than enough time to kill the murderer in front of me.

She hasn’t moved since I had speared myself on her knife, she is just standing there, almost paralysed. I take a firm grip on the knife, step towards her, and violently stab the blade up under her chin, and pierce her brain. She is dead in an instant, unlike me. She falls in a heap, like so much refuse.

Taking what little time is left to me, I stagger back over to Michael, and I lay down next to him, lay my head on his chest, and I start to cry, pouring out my love to Him.

Slowly, a piece at a time, my breath slows, and my eyes darken. What felt like an eternity passes before the end draws close. But at that moment, between living and dying, a light shines forth, pulling me into its embrace. I had never really entertained the notion of an afterlife, but maybe if Micahel is there, then I can start to believe. Without my consent, but not needing it, the light draws me away from Michael, I eagerly go.

That is the account and life of Evan Langsley. And in that light, he was reborn. Somehow, his grief was calmed and was convinced to return to earth, to take up the fight, somehow knowing that after this, he could be together with Michael till the end of time itself.

And in that moment of decision to return, a small but crucial part of Evan was broken. A piece that at first glance, changed nothing of the Man that was Evan, but would eventually bring ruin to all of the ideals that he held dear. Where once he the succeeded without fail, he was still able to cope with the crushing expectations place upon him, for he held hope. The hope of finding that special someone who completed that missing piece of himself.

But he lost that half of his soul, and now that expectation of saving lives and beating the bad guys twisted itself in him.

He chose the Hero’s name of the ‘Lightbringer’ because he didn’t want anybody else to live in the darkness that he had. He wanted to bring hope and joy, but instead, quickly the idea became corrupted without his notice, and he came to the eventual conclusion, that to save those truly deserving of love, that they would have to die when they found each other, lest one be ripped from the other.

Be began his task as many Hero does, in going out, looking for the Villains, giving them of old one two, and putting them behind bars, or in an early grave if he wasn’t able to subdue them.

But every once in a while, when his path crossed tracks with those fortunate few whose love for each other shone forth, the Lightbringer would shine forth his heavenly aura, drawing those lovers towards himself. In rapture, they would come and place themselves before him, and place themselves on the knees in worship.

And truly believing that he was saving their undying love for each other, would draw the life out of their bodies, leaving two corpses to collapse into ashes upon the cold and unyielding ground, but leaving their souls to move onto a better place, where they could exist for all of the time, together, just as he wished he could with his Michael.