《The Human Soul》Chapter 13: Hells’ Pilgrimage part 1- Self discovery

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Authors' note: Sup guys, i feel this chapter is really important for the character. I tried to shorten it as much as i could but backstory just isn't that easy. Took your suggestions and I'm going with a poll to help guide the story a bit from now. Here's today's chapter.

Thabo was in pain for only a fraction of a second; he could sense the over-whelming power of whatever magic had just activated and knew it was the end for him. His body was destroyed completely and without any resistance in less than a second; and for Thabo that meant that everything immediately went black. He was now immersed in darkness fearing for his life and sanity for the first time in months; he knew that this was a test and wasn’t sure if not being able to resist the destruction of his body meant that he had failed, but Thabo’s anxiety would be pointless and didn’t help him slowly lose himself and his soul.

Thabo felt that he should be dead but he didn’t notice any message nor did he feel the powerful pull that usually dragged him back into his body over the process lasting 6 days. He just felt like he was floating there fading out of existence. Thabo’s consciousness flickered in and out of a coma like state for an unknown amount of time; it was like his soul kept reaching out for a body only to find nothing there to hold on to.

After repeating this in and out; on and off; awake and asleep type of cycle Thabo’s soul slowly began changing. Some strange change had occurred within Thabo. His soul now held onto its consciousness more strongly than before. Slowly but surely over time it began to change. Until one day-

[first person]

Huh where am I? What’s happening, why is it so dark? Light switch, yes I need to find a light switch. Huh? I can’t move. Shouldn’t I be able to move? I used to have a body right. Well guess I can’t change the light switch now. I wonder where I am, I really can’t remember anything. I’m not even sure what I should be remembering. I just kinda used the word ‘remember’ on impulse and now I assume I should go with the flow and use it to ‘remember’ things. Remembering means knowing about stuff right? What stuff should I know about? My stuff? Do I have stuff, I think I do, ‘I think therefore I am’ OH! I remembered something else but it seems kinda useless. I remember stuff about my guns and equipment and foo… yes FOOD! I haven’t eaten, but I don’t feel hungry. Plus, where am I going to find food without being able to move my body.

Why do I keep saying my all the time when I have a name, huh? What is my name? Hahahah man I think I was a pretty useless person to have forgotten my own name. Now what should I do for the time being. Let’s try passing another test. Was I taken a test before I came here? I’m pretty sure I was. I must have been important cause I’m getting this really anxious feeling right now. Damn I really feel like I need to figure out what’s going on. Ok tests, tests, what tests do I write; Biology, Maths, physics… none of those seem like the right one though. Let me think… maybe a physical test? Yeah maybe I had to run somewhere? Hahahahahah maybe that’s why I’m panicking, I always sucked at running hahaha by the way aren’t I fat? Hahaha Hell I thin-

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‘Hell’. I just said that right? ‘Hell’, somehow that word is really scary. What happened to me, it was Hell, yeah I went through Hell. Yeah it was a horrible experience where they made me do horrible stuff I’m sure that’s how I ended up like this. No, that’s not completely right, I didn’t go through Hell, I went to Hell. Damn, shit, that sounds about right. Wonder what I did to go to Hell. I must have been a real asshole, well I can’t change that now though. But still even in Hell shouldn’t I have my own body. I feel like this type of ‘oh shit we forgot to give this soul a body but oh well it can wait till Monday’ situation happened to me. Like really you little shits, I know I’m a sinner but can’t you at least treat me like I used to be human… now I’m stuck like this.

Find yourself, your true self, then you will be free.

Huh? Did I just hear something? I’m sure I did, is someone speaking to me?

‘Find yourself, your true self, then you will be free.’

I heard it again… lets focus a bit more then…

“Find yourself, your true self, then you will be free.”

“Find yourself, your true self, then you will be free.”

“Find yourself, your true self, then you will be free.”

Message received. So this wasn’t a mistake this is a test. Guess I’m supposed to find ‘me’. Though I don’t even know

my know own name so I don’t know where to even start. Well I’ve been feeling something here inside me for a while so let’s just concentrate on that. There’s a figure here I can’t tell what I looks like, well I don’t have eyes right now so I guess ‘feels like’ is more accurate. I think it’s out of focus lets keep trying I’m sure I’ll get it.

Thabo starts concentrating and time flows by…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

…………………….

Yes!!! Finally thank God! Shit how long was I trying for I thought I would die of concentration; ok so what do we have here. Now the figure is by no means perfect but this is the best I could do. It really does look like a man right now. And there are some things inside him that I can’t make out but I think they’re … dots? Holes? Circles. Well there really not clear but I can at least count them. There are 7 of those dots on the inside of the man and 6 holes or small doors on the outside of him. Those 3 big holes are like on the outside of a really big circle around the man is that normal? I see the other 3 holes are like connected to the man but the three big outer ones have strings that are… cut? Well they’re not connected plus they have like this weird barrier thing that’s different from the man keeping them out. You know this structure somehow reminds me of something but I’m not sure what.

Well let’s look the inside and ignore the outer objects for now. There’s only one structure I can make out right now and it’s the one that’s… basically in the head. Like in your forehead region. It has a pretty clear shape so I’ll focus here for now-

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Somethings happening, I feel that spot reacting when I focus on it. Somethings coming out now… pictures? Videos? I see something… memories, these are my memories…

[flash back]

*Baby crying*

“Good its looks healthy, your son seems very healthy Mam.”

*Women crying*

“Oh my God! My boy! Let me hold him! Please let me hold my baby!”

Baby’s point of view: Body gets moved once again from hands to other hands.

“Thabo, that’s your new name, Thabo do you like it”

*Baby crying*

7 months later…

Thabo is pushing himself off the floor into a standing position. He then tries to take a few steps and falls over.

Mom: “Oh sweetie your walking! Camera! I need a camera!”

1 year later…

*Women sobbing*

Mom: “*Sniffs* Don’t worry Thabo, we’ll be alright, just the two of us ok? We’ll get a house with a dog and fill it with all the nice things we want *Sniff* then we’ll go out and have fun all day and come back at night and jump on top of the beds for all we care *Sniff* and no one’s going to tell us what to do anymore ok. Mommies always here for you”

Thabo: “MmAaaMa”

Mom: “Together just then two of us ok?”

*Hugs*

7 years later…

*Glass breaking* *Screaming* *Shouting*

“STOPPP! NOOO! What are you doing!!”

Thabo gets out of bed and stands by his door to look into the corridor. A familiar scene plays out in front of him, but that fact never changes how terrifying it is for him. As he peaks he sees the figure of a man storming out of a broken door, and soon after his mother follows. His mother’s clothes are torn and she’s clearly bleed somewhere on her head. By now his baby brother has already woken up and started crying.

2 years later…

Thabo was sitting in the hospital waiting silently whilst staring at the time on his phone.

Doctor: “You can go in and see your mother now.”

Thabo: “Thanks”

Thabo walks into one of the wards and sees his mother on the bad with a tired look on her face. She was wearing the typical hospital gown and had her left arm in a cast and slang around her shoulder.

Thabo: “Hey mom, you ok?”

Mom: “Yeah don’t worry baby, it’s just dislocated that’s all. I’ll be out in no time. But how are you? What did you eat last night, and have you finished your school work?”

Thabo: “We ate spaghetti and meat balls, Auntie made it herself. And I did all my homework at school, oh we got our tests back today.”

Mom: “How much did you get?”

Thabo: “87, only third in my grade though…”

Mom: “That’s good sweetheart how about when I get out we all go out for lunch and some cools rides ok?”

Thabo: “…Yeah…”

3 years later…

Once again a familiar sound rings out in Thabo’s ears. This time around the screaming just felt much louder and more painful. There was no real change in the scene itself but over the years Thabo seemed to take it worst and worst. Now with his heart beating out of his chest he rushes out of his room and towards the source, and before he knew it Thabo’s hands were bloodied and the figure of an unconscious man could be seem laying on the floor in front of him. He heard sirens but couldn’t recover from his black out fast enough to react before cops were at his gate.

The situation seemed to have ended favorably though. Thabo stayed inside as instructed by his mother and was escorted together with her to the police station. The man sustained minor injuries and from what Thabo found out later was pressures by his mother who held evidence of past un-convicted crimes to drop all charges. That same week the two respective family’s got together and held a discussion about the obviously out of hand issue. By now Thabo had emotionally divorced himself from the whole thing and was studying for his exams. Some light apologies were directed towards him and from what he could tell the ‘man of the house’ continued living with them even after the incident. Thabo, though, with his ears filled with music and his eyes focused on his study material, could care less whoever did what, or lived where. The man never got violent again and that was all he needed to know.

By now Thabo had long since began training in his local gym and was well on his way to hopefully qualifying for biomedical engineering. He was 16 at this stage in time and already had his sense of justice twisted and mutated. In Thabo’s mind so long as you were capable enough in either strength, finance, politics etc. then your word was law.

A year later though he never told anyone and never acted out, clear signs of his physiological state were starting to effect his life.

A young girls’ voice rang out.

“You like never pay attention to me, like it’s always ‘I’m studying’ or ‘I’m busy’ don’t you like care about me? Like your too focused, like you’re the type of person who goes to the shop to buy a pen a literally doesn’t see anything else but what he came there for! No drink no food nothing just the damn pen! Like I’m not saying be on your phone the whole time but just answer my messages more often at least like-“

Thabo had long since stopped listening. He meant no harm this girl but his friends were pressuring him since he was still single. Hence the current situation, he really never thought she would agree to date him nor did he think she would be so much work. His only course of action now was to just let her get fed up with him on her own so he could get back to his studies. By now be had stopped working out and was focused on his university application. He knew what he wanted and no one on earth would stop him from standing on his own two feet and leaving this house now. This is how his first relationship ended

He was later accepted and began his studies before the current situation.

[Present time]

Thabo: “Ah damn so that’s what happened. Guess I’ve been going through Hell before I even got here…”

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