One thing a lot of people say if they were to be reincarnated, they’d wanna be reincarnated in a fantasy world. Well, right now I’m living that dream I also had shared. Most people imagined being born and growing up to be great warriors, fighters, even royalty.

I woke up to become god. Yeah, I’m god and this is the tale of my various doings in the realm that I woke up ruling. Before we start, I suppose skipping the whole ‘start’ wouldn’t be nice, after all some of the best parts in these tales happen then. So let us start with how I died.

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“Damn I hate this shitty city.” Sighing as I kicked a can to the side of the road, hitting a passing car. The car screeches to a stop and a guy in a nice tailored red suite, hopped out fuming.

“Yo, who the fuck do you think you are punk?! You just threw something at my car!” He runs at me, grabbing my collar and throws me against a wall and pulls out a gun, obviously one, not caring its in the middle of the day and two we’re in downtown on a busy street. “Think you’re funny punk? Gonna talk about how big and bad you are to your friends?!”

An onlooker, unwilling to stand by idle while a kids getting threatened at gun point, uses a stealthy approach and attempts to grab the gun, however the moment the asshole feels a pull at the gun pulls the trigger. The bullet plunges through my flesh at the lower abdomen. My attempted savior attempts to wrestle the gun away however by pure chance in mid wrestle, the gun is fired again, and by chance hits my heart. I was too far in shock to do anything. I was just thrown against a wall, then had a gun pulled on me, and then shot not once, but twice. I slid to the ground as darkness consumed my sight, my last thought was “life sucks, fuck you god”, I closed my eyes uncaring my worthless excuse of a life was over...or at least that is what should have happened except for the fact I heard a faint whisper “fuck you too kiddo”, hearing that I opened my eyes to a white room, across from me was a guy in a white suite, and sunglasses. He sat in a white chair staring at me.

Unsure what to do and generally creeped out “Uhm, where-”

“Fuck you too kiddo.” He leaned forward in his chair “Every single day I have millions of shitty kids praying to me ‘just kill me’ and what to I get for doing so?! I get a good old fashioned ‘fuck you god’ In response. I bust my holy ass every single day for you ungrateful children of mine and what do I get in return? Nothing!” The man continued to drone on as such, my mouth quite literally dropped unsure of this situation I woke up to. Time passed and this stranger kept rambling on about his ‘mistreatment’ and all sorts of other topics. He eventually stopped talking and removed his sunglasses.

“Do you know who I am kiddo?” I shook my head no “I’m fucking god.”

“Bullshit, if you’re god prove it then.”

“Alright.” the guy put his hand outright and opened it, palm facing the ceiling. From his hand a flower bloomed, a single yellow tulip. “I grew a flower out of thin air. Believe me?”

I rubbed my eyes, this guy was probably doing some fake magician shit or I was dreaming, to satisfy him I just said I believed.

“Good, anyways normally when people die they get sent to the pearly gates for judgment, can you guess why you aren’t there?”

“Mismanagement? “

‘God’ chuckled “A guess as valid as any, but no there’s never been a ‘miss sort’ before. The reason is because you’re the 100,000,000,000,000,000th person to die. So you won a prize.”

I start laughing, I won a contest for dying. Its hysterical to think honestly. Trying to calm down my roaring laughter “S-so what did I win hehehe...”

“Your own universe.”

I stopped laughing “My what.”

“Congratulations, for being the 100,000,000,000,000,000th person to die you get to become the god of your very own universe! You will be instantly transferred to your domain where ‘your word is law’ free from the influence of anything else, after all everything there is yours!”

I was completely lost “What the fuck do you mea-” God snapped his fingers and everything went dark.

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Hello, this is my first ‘professional’ work. I’ve written a lot of short stories but this is my first attempt at writing a full one. I take any and all criticism, trust me I NEED it lol.