Chapter 10

Crossing the border, Kif found a small farming village surrounded in fields. For a border town it was severely lacking in defences as without breaking stride he led the Reever tribe straight into the place. “Kill them all.” He declared before grabbing together a party of brutes and heading for the village elder's hut. Screams and the clashing of swords wrung out as the villagers, and some unlucky beta testers, tried to defend themselves from the starving goblins.

Reaching the elder's hut Kif pointed and said, “Take it.” His brute squad rushed the building and plowed thru the wall to the left of the door. Sighing audibly he opened the unlocked door and entered. two hours later Kif sat in front of a large bon fire eating some amazingly spiced bipeds ribs and listening to some of the other blood reaver tribesmen expounding their battle exploits. Upon filling his stamina bar up he handed what was left to one of the small goblin children that were running around the area.

[+1 level to lair, +1 scavenger goblin added to lair]

Taking a deep breath he spoke. “ I is smart king. I sais we join dark empire. Eat lots of fat meats. Tomorrow i leads tribe to bigger caves, best homes!”

The goblins partying lasted long into the night. Kif retired early and logged out. He had work to get too.

[Log out]

[Log in]

Logging back into the game, Kif quickly corralled the goblins together and set out. He led them back into the Vulcan Lair and brought them to Old Goblin Bu.”Hey Bu, ya remember telling me to become king? Well i went and did just that”

The old goblin's eyes bugged out as he noted the High leveled Blood Reaver tribe flowing in behind Kif.

“Youse did good boy, I chose right.”

[Global announcement, The Blood Reaver tribe has joined the dark empire. The goblin Berserker and Tracker classes have been unlocked.]

[Global announcement, The Harpy Quix tribe has joined the dark empire. Harpy’s have been added to the list of playable races]

[You have gained +1 levels]

“Only one level for completing two quests with three skulls for a rating? Did i do something to insult the AI on accident?” Kif cried.

Bu simply patted him on the shoulder before continuing. “Go talk to Matron Rue. She will want to know who the new goblin king is. Theres only one per tribe and the Vulcan’s have been needing one for a while now.” The old goblin smiled slyly behind Kifs back.

Emboldened at the thought of more rewards, Kif hurried through the city to the matrons home, Leaving the Reavers in Bu’s hands. “Matron Rue, I has become a goblin King.” He declared, speaking in the goblin tongue instead of like normal. The matron stood up from where she was drinking and whacked him in the head.

-5 hp

“Not king just my boy.” She declared.

“But I has a title.” He cried.

{whap}

“Not king, My BOY!!” She yelled louder.

[Title: Goblin king has been changed to Rue’s stupidest son.]

“That’s not fair.” Kif tried as he tried to shield his head.

{Whapp}

“Mine.” Rue declared then ripped his shirt open and stabbed the heart tattoo she had given him with a finger. Pain assailed Kif and he collapsed struggling to breath from the magic the Matron pumped into him.

[+10 levels to lair skill]

[+10 levels to lair skill]

[A bonus has been added to lair skill.

General crafting has changed to Goblin Crafting.

General weapons mastery has changed to Goblin weapons mastery.]

[Local announcement. The Blood of a different type of goblins has been added to the Vulcan tribe.

All regular goblins may now learn the subclass of leatherworking and woodworking.

All hobgoblins have unlocked the create embers skill.

All butes may now wield shields.]

[You have gained +2 levels}

The bonuses and other screens scrolled for a while in front of Kif’s eyes. He may have only gained three levels from completing the quests, but now he not only had gained an identify type skill. He could cast the most basic fire spell and could teach his scavenger goblins how to work with leather and wood. He could even burn money on shields for his Brutes and not have them end up as wrecked clubs. (Of the bonuses i just unlocked for all goblins, the shields one, while minor, will probably have the most impact for us.) He thought. Brutes with shields would form the perfect shield walls as no one shorter than them could hope to break through them or knock them off balance due to their skills. (I am a genius for having thought of this. I’ll have to get a bunch of shields made up later for the big battles.) Kif thought.

“Youse done good boy. Go out and enjoy some time to youself. I deal with the Reavers.” Matron Rue said and pushed him out of her house. Kif smiled as he walked out. The first thing he did was call all his companions back together and then headed out for castle Dredmonte. It was time to retrieve his OP axe. After that, maybe digging up that dragon's treasure. Having spent a day as a king Kif wasn’t about to let a few rocks keep him from being rich.

{Excerpt from world History 101 by Bjorn}

Most goblin tribes throughout the world only number between 3000 and 8000 in total, and are no threats to anyone but themselves. There are truly only three ‘Goblin’ Strongholds in the world. The smallest is the Vulcan tribe, Allied with the dark lord. The next largest is located south beyond the Beast mens forest. The Stone spear goblins have mastered donkey and goat riding and are said to have almost twice the Vulcan tribes numbers. They are the undisputed masters of the arid canyons south of the Beasts forest. The largest tribe and the biggest threat in it’s area is the Leatherback goblins of the far west. This tribe numbers well over 30 million strong and periodically sends out 1-2 million strong armies to harass its neighbors. Luckily for most of the world, goblins know nothing of maintaining supply routes. Most Leather back armies starve and scatter into smaller tribes within two weeks of traveling.}

Arriving in Dredmonte, Kif headed into the sewer and moved his Lair. He couldn’t wait to get his axe back. During the trip to dredmonte he had practiced his new ember spell with Hobgoblin Mu and while the spell itself had no practical usage in a fight, He was able to light his shortsword on fire for a brief 30 seconds of time. Since magic had done far more damage to the acid slimes than any physical attacks he figured that the burning sword would help immensely vs the Black slime guarding the dungeon's entrance. Plus Matron’s forcefully increasing his lair’s level by 20 had given him 20 more into every stat. The speed and strength increases were great. Even with all his desire to get his weapon back, He did stop at the market for a few essentials.

“Cloth armor half off.”

“Swords cheap.”

With all the fighting along the border, merchants had sprung up all over the city, both player and NPC alike. Kif sold some of his slime cores and leather and bought two large shields, then went towards the mages guild that was located in the Keep. Approaching the secretary he said, “I would like to get this Identified.” Kif was holding one of the wands h e had crafted. Most of the players in the mage guild gave the goblin a funny look. “Why would such a stupid, ugly little shit want to join our illustrious guild.” One brightly dressed demon mage said.

Kif ignored him and took the wand to the direction the secretary pointed him. An old man was sitting in a corner of the guild area reading a tome. As Kif approached the old mage spoke up, “Here for an Identification?”

“Yup, this wand.” Kif answered.

“Give me that.” The Brightly dressed mage interrupted and yanked the wand out of Kif’s hand, “you doubtless stole this.”

Frowning Kif spoke, “ Youse be handing that back now or else.”

“ OR else what you shit.” the Demon mage declared shoving the goblin.

“Gunther, Return that this instant.” a Female voice thundered near the entrance.

Gunther (The demon mage in question) Turned,” But guild master he stole this.”

Tired of listening to the nonsense Kif pulled out one of his Daggers and stick it in Gunther's gut.

-16 hp [Minor bleed -2 hp per second for 20 seconds applied]

Gunther grunted and clutched at his stomach as Kif pulled the knife out and retrieved his wand. “As i was saying, Please identify this wand.” Kif said turning to the old mage once more.

“No.” The old man said. “You just attacked the mage guild goblin. There will be consequences.”

“Your darn right there will be.” Kif angrily replied,” I made this wand and i will be talking to General WArclave about allowing a guild in his keep that robs taxpayers in broad daylight to continue existing.” Having been stalled with his original objective of looking for a better cash flow than selling leather, Kif started to leave.

“Wait.” The guild master called, having gotten free from whatever had kept them at the guild entrance. “Perus is an old racist bastard, and Gunther isn’t much better. I apologize for their actions. Let me see the wand and I shall identify it for free as repayment for the trouble.”

[Guild master Ames level 215]

Very well.” He said sounding reluctant. Kif pulled out one of the thick summoning wands and handed it over.

“Mmm. It is a medium grade summoning wand. Only one sue but anyone who can cast a spell can use it. I would give this a C ranking as a magic item, Maybe a C+ at best. You should get about 40 silver if you sell it to a merchant.”

“Thank you.” Kif said retrieving it, “Gunther, I will be finishing my little surgery on your stomach the next time we meet.” Kif threatened as he left. “Time for the dungeon.” he whistled and walked away.

Contrary to his whistling He first stopped to check that his companions were all properly outfitted for the expedition. Barg and Borg now stood armed with their wolf teeth clubs, and shiny new bronze tower shields. They were clothed in heavy leather armor complete with studded leather helmets. Bu and Kif each had one short sword and three daggers at their belts. Two of each of their daggers were coated in the Napalm like clay Kif had discovered. Additionally they each had an alchemy pouch at their waste with more clay within it and their slings and marble pouches. Ylbne and Obne, the goblin mages, had 6 of the roman candle wands each and one small emergency dagger. Kif had all four of the bne siblings summon a red slime. The slimes were hid in a small bag at each of the goblins wastes. Obne and Ibne, the non-mages goblins were each armed with just two daggers and their slings. The four siblings were all wearing matching Light leather armor. As one final preparation Kif summoned a red slime companion and ordered it to hide in his shirt. (This dungeon run should power level the slimes to a usable level quickly) He thought. “I will name you Oozy, the cannibal slime” He told his new pet. Naturally the slime did not respond. Being a magical summon it moved to his thoughts with a decent reaction time.

Finally ready, Kif shared a rat meal with all his lair mates and then headed out into the dungeon.

[You have entered the sewer labyrinth, after the battle of Doom, where General Warclave crushed the forces of light the general had the bodies of his victims dumped into the sewer system. The foul forces at work within the castle have lead to some of the bodies returning to life as shadows of their former selves. Recommended level 40]

Coming up on the first corner Kif spoke. “Ok, we all have been here before, you know as well as i how strong a level 40 slime is. Lets go in there and Burn it good.” With a yell Kif led his group around the corner. He moved forward and igniting his sword, took a swing at the waiting black slime.

-34 elemental damage [Minor burn applied -7hp per second for 2 seconds]

Kif was then forced to dodge as it sent out several tentacles at him, trying to engulf the goblin. Bu struck the slime from its other side and also started dodging constant attacks. With it’s core slightly more exposed as a large amount fit’s ooze was being pulled into attacking goblins on opposite sides of it, Ylbne and Obne quickly struck the core with their [Throw Fire] Skills.

-8 damage [Major burn applied -7 hp per second for 20 seconds]

-8 damage [Major burn applied -7 hp per second for 20 seconds]

Two minutes of hard fighting later, the slime collapsed into a spreading pile of black ooze. Kif collected it’s core and dropped it into an alchemy pouch within his Utility slot. While goblins had no item storage space or item boxes, Kif’s one minor utility slot was capable of storing a full herb pouch or alchemy pouch, no matter it’s size(It still needed the Alchemy or Herb identifier in its classification). He was currently abusing this classification by using the largest alchemy pouch he could craft. It was the size of a small rucksack. Having slain the dreaded first monster of the labyrinth, Kif led his group south through the tunnels. He had no interest in defeating the boss of completing the labyrinth so he ignored the easy paths forward. reaching one of the many sewer intersections throughout the city, a swarm of cat sized rats rushed out of two small crossing tunnels.

[Infected rat level 35]*12

They were low level but had quickly surrounded the goblins and started continuously attempting to bite them with large glistening fangs. Kif dodged and slashed the rat in front of him.

-10

-12

He did not want to waste mana on the rat so it took him several attacks to whittle it down. upon finishing it he went to aid his companions.

“Argh” a rat got through his defences and bit Obne in the shoulder above where his light armor ended. The small goblin immediately started foaming at the mouth and collapsed dead moments later. Kif quickly spent 84 mana points resurrecting the goblin mage. Part of his lair’s magic allowed him to spend mana to bring back his companions upon death. The cost went up with each of their levels, but one of the bonuses for his lairs new levels had been reducing the costs some what. Currently Kif only needed to spend twice his companions level in mana to resurrect them. The goblins quickly cleaned up the rest of the rats and went about harvesting their fangs. “These will be good in the clubs.” He decided. He still had no idea how to add an elemental type to the brute’s weaponry, but giving their clubs poison or disease damage wasn’t that much of a difference. It was still more damage after all.

The goblin group continue moving throughout the sewer dungeon, encountering several rat groups until they reached a corridor almost at the southern tip of the sewer system. You could hear the sound of water running in the distance. Blocking the way was a group of Skeleton soldiers.

[undead paladin level 32]*3

[Undead archer level 34]

Three paladins and one archer blocked the hallway. Kif quickly ordered Barg and Borg to form a shield wall and all the goblins hid behind it as the undead archer attacked.

{Bang, Crash}

The shields shook but held firm from the archers assault. The undead paladins moved up and Kif Started giving out his orders. “Borg, Barg. Stay here. Mu, you move with me. Obne, Ebne, Ylbne, Ibne. Focus that archer down from cover then work on the others. Don't use the wands.”

With That Kif and Bu ignited their short swords and rushed the rightmost paladin.

-5

attack blocked

-36 [Minor burn appled -7 hp per second for 2 seconds]

Kif’s first two attacks were mostly blocked but his third strike got through the undead's armor and scored a decent hit on it. Being a paladin though, the undead had a massive health pool. It’s shield glowed and then it launched itself at kif shield first. Smartly, or stupidly, Kif took the blow to his forehead, not trying to block with his arms at all.

-26 hp [Concussion applied. you take double damage for the next 48 hours]

[It is nsaid that goblins skulls are the second hardest bones in the world, after dragon bones. Only you would test this][Through many acts, Racial Goblin Stupidity has increased Rank 5 -> rank 7]

Kif shook off the pain and focused on holding the paladins attention while Mu struck it from behind. The fight went back and forth for a while between the three combatants and Kif was starting to worry as his stamina was getting low when Ebne struck the undead in the eye with a dagger. Moments later Borg and Barg charged it and Knocked it to the floor. Kif’s companions swarmed the monster and it was soon defeated. Kfi slumped tiredly, happy in victory.(Just one more corner and i get back my)

{Thump}

(Pain)

-11 damage [Minor movement impairment applied -%5 agility)

An arrow struck Kif’s shoulder, and while it did not pierce through his armor, it was in a spot that slowed him down some. Kfi spun around and received two more arrows in the chest.

-8 damage

-12 damage

Before him stood three demons, An archer, the demon mage Gunther, and a larger demon wielding a bastard sword. Still reeling from the arrows Kif let himself drop to his knees and then collapsed sideways against the sewers wall. He ordered Oozy to slowly leak it's way under his armor, giving the back stabbing demons the look that he was bleeding out. Kif’s companions looked in shock for a moment, before rushing the three demons while screaming.

“The first stance, Blade dance.” The sword wielder called out before sweeping his sword and shattering Borg and Barg’s shields.

“Mana barrier.” gunther muttered.

:Triple shot.: the archer went, launching a flurry of arrows. Kif watched as his companions were slaughtered quickly. They did manage to injure both Gunther and the archer before falling though.

“Should we finish him?” the archer asked.

“No. That looks like a heavy bleed.” Gunther replied. “A fast death is too good for the little shit.”

“then lets go see what they were after.” The archer said and the group turned as one to move on, Leaving Kif as he was.

[Respawn Goblin Mu]

Kif thought and pulled his slime out as well. The two goblins quietly retrieved the 4 candle wands that Obne and Ylbne had not managed to use. “I’ll get Gunther, Get the archer.” Kif mouthed and as one both Hobgoblins channeled their new create embers spell into two wands each.

-15*5

-15*5 [You have slain the renegade Aeros +30 exp]

-15*5

-15*5

“Argh” Gunther cried as he collapsed. Kif quickly ran up and tossed his slime onto the critical condition mage. “Eat him” he commanded.

Kif stood momentarily alone before the sword wielding demon. Mu had backed up and was currently retrieving his weapons and armor from where they had dropped. (Pulling leather armor off a corpse takes a while)

“the amount of blood you lost, I had mistakenly thought you died.” The demon spoke. “ Mo matter, I am a higher level than either of those two.” “My name is Benito Chavez, what name do you want me putting on your gravestone little goblin?” Benito asked.

“I is Kif, Elite goblin shock corps rider. Youse a thief trying to take what i worked hard to earn. Just like Gunther.” Kif responded as he pulled out one of the daggers. Using the last of his mana Kif ignited and threw the dagger at Benito, Then charged in with his short sword drawn. Benito parried the thrown blade then. “First stance, Bladedance.” Kif dropped to the floor and watched as his short sword was cleaved in half by the bastard sword.

“Gah” Kif stabbed his broken blade into Benito’s knee.

-8 damage [crippled applied. -30% movement for 10 minutes or until healed]

With a yell Benito backhanded Kif and launched the goblin back across the sewer tunnel.

“I got him boss.” Mu said and stepped forward, finally armed and armored.

“Didn’t i cut you in half?” Benito asked as he limped towards the two goblins. Kif slowly pulled out his second dagger and carefully walked around the combatants, retrieving his burning dagger. He used it to ignite the unlit one.

“Hey demon, I gots a nice toasty blade with your name on it.” Kif called as he moved to sandwich the swordsman between himself and Mu. Benito grimaced then lunged at Mu in an attempt to remove one of his two opponents. Mu moved in and with a clang blocked the broad sword.

“n first stance.” Kif mocked as he moved in.

“Second stance, Unhinge” Benito cried and spun around quickly. Kif barely dodged in time as the demon did a fast overhand slash at him, ending in an underhand attack at Mu.

“Argh” Mu cried as it struck his chest. The hobgoblin dropped his offhand dagger to clutch the wound but managed to weakly maintain a grip on his sword. Kif lunged forward, attempting to get into range but had to stumble to hold as Benito turned towards him. The bastard sword outranged Kif’s daggers by a decent amount.

[You have slain the renegade Gunther. +32 exp]

[You have gained +1 level][Oozy has leveled up to 23]

[Oozy has slain it’s first enemy and as such has learned a new skill. Oozy has learned bite]

(Slimes can learn bite?) Kif thought wildly. He carefully watched benito as he brought up Oozy’s menu.

[Oozy level 23 slime companion

attack 23

HP 50

Skills

Slime- Leave a trail of slime wherever it moves

Dissolve- Deal 10 damage per second to any enemy it touches

Bite- Can be partially consumed to regain three times the hp and mp the slime takes in damage.]

Kif grinned as he realized his slime had just become a living health and mana potion.

“Oozy come” Kif commanded and the slime slid up his leg and onto his arm. Kif took a bite out of the slime.

“Tastes like a mouth full of Cinnamon” He grumbled.

-16 hp to Oozy[-11 levels from Oozy][should Oozy’s level reach 0 it shall permanently die]

+48 hp to Kif

+48 mp to Kif

Benito apparently had some skill that told him the HP of his opponents as he cursed and dove forward at Kif. Kif dodged the sword but was struck in the chest by Benito’s dive.

-12 hp

He quickly stabbed Benito and ordered Oozy to attack as well.

Both of Kif’’s daggers lodged themselves into Benito’s left arm.

-18hp

-18hp {minor burn applied -7hp per second for 2 seconds]

[Oozy has recovered 3 hp]

With a cry Benito dropped his sword and Punched Kif

-16 hp

-4 hp in recoil damage to Benito

“Goblin skulls beat demon bones.” Kif laughed bloodily. Meanwhile Mu came up behind the demon

-13 hp

-15 hp

[-10 hp Oozy has recovered 3 hp]

With a grunt Benito slumped forward.

[you have slain the renegade Benito. +38 exp]

[Oozy has slain it’s second opponent. Dissolve has increased in potency to Dissolve level 2 -12 hp per second]

Kif struggled and pulled himself out from under the dead demon swordsman. Gunther and the archers corpses had already vanished. The archer left behind two health potions while Gunther dropped a magic ring. Kif spent a few moments unsuccessfully looting Benito, only to have his corpse vanish and leave behind a coin pouch of gold and silver.

“I can’t loot players. That kinda sucks since they can loot me.” He staid. Kif and Mu spent some time recovering before moving around the last corner. The broken sewer grate was just like Kif remembered it. Moving forward he found the discarded dwarven axe that lay beside the tunnel. Just as bright as it was originally. “Yes, I have the Powah” He exclaimed holding the weapon over his head. Kif returned with Mu to his lair and stored the Axe for a special occasion along with most of the other drops. He spent the rest of the day resummoning his companions and retrieving the items they had dropped upon death i the sewer.

“Tomorrow,” He told them.” We go to dig up that dragons gold.”

[Log out] 11 days left until game release.