[Brrring][Brrring][Brrring]

Groaning, Jason Velmont, CEO of Velmont’s gaming company slowly woke up and reached for his phone. The clock on the bed showed 2:00 AM.

Jason: There had better be a damned good reason I am getting this call.

Caller: Yes sir, if you remember you wanted to be told if anything big happened in the game. Well 2 major events just happened and we are trying to figure out which one is going to have a larger impact.

Jason: … Go on.

Caller: The good news is that one of the beta players managed to complete a resurrection quest for the dwarven race so the new wave of beta players that will be starting tomorrow will be able to select dwarves. This will also increase the size of the army of lights army considerably for the upcoming world event.

Jason: That sounds great. now what could possibly have as much impact as resurrecting an entire playable race?

Caller: The same player completed a follow on Historical quest. The highest level food in the game just became Egg rolls.

Jason: WHAT!!!

7:00 AM

[Buzzz]

The player who is Kif in Global Conflict woke up. His phone had just buzzed and the only people who ever sent him messages were his co-workers. Checking the messages he noted that one of his female co-workers was going to come in late to work tomorrow and the manager wanted him to come in. The player quickly typed in a message that he could come in in the morning but would need the evening off. Hopefully the war that would start tomorrow morning would be an all day event at a minimum. He quickly made himself some cereal then put on the VR headset.

[Log in]

Kif sat up and stretched. He had spent the entire day on that long quest chain but at least he had gained a mad scientist's journal and a storage slot. Reaching into his new storage slot Kif pulled out an egg roll.

“What, no wait, NOOOO.” he cried as he realized in his exhausted state yesterday he had just pocketed the eggroll instead of recovering the priceless mad scientist’s journal. “Maybe i can go get it back, yes ill do that.” he cried as he ran back across the city. He replaced the eggroll in the storage slot as he ran. Reaching the pond he noted that it was refilled with water and the stairs had closed up. Kif quickly swam across and touched the dark spot, only to have nothing happen. The mechanism was so old it had broken and this entrance to the Scientist’s cavern was now sealed forever. Kif sat down on the far side of the pond and cried for a few minutes. While he sat there crying a world alert to a new patch rang out.

[Players, the devs at Velmont inc have discovered a glitch in our consumable items programming. Starting now consuming a consumable item above your player level incurs increasing negative statuses dependant on the level difference between yourself and the item. Consuming items over 20 levels higher than your own will incur death. Thank you and happy fighting.]

Kif looked at it and thought, isn’t this an outright nerf to goblins. We are the only race that can ignore the level cap on equipment and instead have to manage equipment weight. Isn’t it enough that we already have extremely low starting stats? Grumbling about the unfairness in the world Kif headed back into the main portion of the goblin city. He was level 15 now and needed to increase his levels and maybe add more goblins to his lair quickly before more beta testers started tomorrow. He walked up to Old goblin Bu.

“Hey Bu, you know any easy way for me to get goblins to join my lair?” he asked. Kif figured that it was worth a shot to try to get everything he could out of the old goblin. “Goblins looking to join a young lair.” Bu said, “ My own lair has grown a bit larger than i’d prefer. I tell you what, If you can clear out the spider queen's cavern in the lower caves i’ll see about getting some of my younglings to join ya.”

[Old goblin Bu want’s to move his lair into an area with more space to grow. Clear out the spider queen's cavern of all threats so Bu can move there. Quest rewards:???]

“I’ll take it.” Kif said and ran back to his own small lair. Kif spent the mana to respawn his Companion Goblin Mu then retrieved Hrolk’s sword from his chest. Properly armed and with a fellow hobgoblin at his back Kif ventured out of the goblin city towards the ground side exit. Entering the spiders dens the two goblins went on alert. There were several webs strewn about the area but no spiders in sight. Kif tossed a rock into a nearby web and three brown spiders popped up

[Brown spider level 5]*3

Moving quickly he slashed off 2 of the legs from the nearest one then moved around to attack the next. His companion engaged the third spider. The brown spiders only had a slow web attack so the first group was easy to defeat. Kif recovered some of their webbing and handed it to Mu. Mu had respawned with his normal leather armor and rusty sword, along with a small satchel. Assuming both goblins survived this they would be able to sell the webs elsewhere. Moving deeper into the spider dens the two goblins came across a split in the cave system. Kif remembered that the right hand side lead to the slime pools and out of the mountain so he headed off to the left.

[You have entered Spider queen's lair.]

[Quest update: Defeat the spiders and smash their eggs to lure out the spider queen.]

Kif was in a large open cavern area. Small breaks in the rock created a large uneven field before him. Near the ceiling he could see the spider queen sleeping, and throughout the area were 5 large clusters of eggs guarded by groups of brown spiders and green spiders. Kif selected a small group of two brown spiders and one green. Telling Mu to hold off the brown ones he tossed his rusty dagger at the green spider then rushed it with his blade.

[-3 blunt damage]

Striking the spider with the pommel of the thrown dagger did more damage than the blade did. Having got it’s attention he swung at it’s leggs. the spider jumped back and started glowing a dark forest green. After 2 seconds of channeling it spat out a wad of Green liquid at Kif. He ducked under it and rushed the spider, quickly beheading it while it recovered from its attack. Turning around he went to Mu and helped him deal with the brown spiders. Afterwards Kif examined the green spiders corps and the liquid it had spit out. The green puddle was bubbling and seemed to be letting off steam. Kif touched it with his recovered dagger only to watch as the blade dissolved in front of his eyes. He then went on to examine the Acid spider’s corps. It was smaller and it’s exoskeleton was weaker than the brown spiders but it’s ranged attack would probably one shot an unwary goblin. Kif and Mu recovered the webs they could from the spider corpses and left to get back to the goblin city. He wanted some ranged attack to deal with these acid spiders since their acid burned through metal so fast.

The two arrived back in the city and quickly found some goblin weapons merchants.

“You, you look strong, you want Groc’s best weapon? Come, Come look, Groc invented Big rock” said the nearest one attempting to get them to buy something. Kif wandered through various merchant stalls. None of the weapon merchants crafted weapons. All the weapons in the shops were acquired from somewhere else and were of the cheapest variety possible. Wooden clubs, both spiked and plain were in abundance and were constantly exchanging hands. Kif saw no bow’s, nor any throwing spears. The only ranged weapons he was able to find where slings. Kif was uncertain how useful a sling would be but decided he may as well get his races “latest and greatest military super weapon” before some other idiot hurt themselves. Kif traded all the webs he and Mu had gathered for 2 slings and 2 bags of marbles. For some reason there was tons of glass for cheap in the City and Groc threw in the marble ammunition for free in order to get his hands on the web. Kif watched the crazy merchant add his latest trade to a rather large pile of web in the back of the tent before heading out with Mu to get back to hunting. Groc apparently wanted all the web he could get his hands on.

Kif and Mu loaded the slings and practiced launching them at random targets of opportunity as they moved out of the city and back to the spider caverns. Spying a newly respawned set of brown spiders Kif launched a marble at them and managed to hit one of the 3 in the leg.

-8 damage

[Crippled applied, -30% movespeed]

Kif quickly wrapped the sling around his arm and drew his sword. The two goblins easily dealt with the brown spiders and returned to the Queen’s lair. “I want you to focus on hitting the green spiders with the sling while i deal with the brown ones. Make sure you dodge their acid spit.” Kif told his subordinate. He had noticed that Mu had better aim than him with the slings. Kif started out the next fight by launching his sling hard at the next spider group.

-12 damage

floated up as he hit the body of one of the brown spiders. Having agro’d the group he switched weapons and moved forward, intent on finishing the brown spiders quickly. Mu launched a large amount of marbles from his own sling at the acid spiders. The benefits of the sling compared to a bow where it’s rapid fire ability and ease of use in close quarters. It’s negatives were how hard it was to aim at anything beyond 10 feet and it’s low comparative damage. Mu was able to wear down all of the acid spiders by the time kif dealt with the brown ones. Then the goblins were left with the harder task. Digging clear glass marbles out of dead green spider corpses without bursting the acid venom sacks within their bodies. Overall the simple plan worked and soon Kif had slain all the spiders in the Queen's den. He gathered all the spider eggs together with Mu and crushed them all at once. Immediately the spider queen dropped down.

[Spider queen Level 50]

“What the hell is up with these levels. The darned acid spiders were only level 7.” Kif yelled out loud. “This is probably why no ones ever cleared this cavern” replied Mu. Kif gritted his teeth as he thought furiously. “Let’s both start with ranged attacks, “ he said. Since goblins did not have an identify skill he had no way to figure out what the spiders attacks would be beyond dodging them. The two goblins let fly with their slings and struck the queen's body.

-2 damage

-3 damage

Her defence from her exoskeleton was so high that most of the damage from the slings was negated. The queen glowed white for 3 seconds then spat out some webbing, faster than the brown spiders had. Kif quickly dodged it then had to dodge again as she spat out 3 more webbing shots before stopping. He took this opportunity to tell Mu to aim for her eyes and let loose another shot from his own sling.

-2

-2

The lack of accuracy was going to make this exceedingly difficult he realized. The queen started moving after a moment and charged the two goblins, forcing them to split. She rushed threw where they had been and only stopped when she reached the wall of the cavern, striking it with her legs and the side of her body to stop her forward momentum.

-40 hp

Making a mockery of them her Hp bar finally showed up displaying that she had %89 of her life left. immediately after her charge the queen glowed green and spat out one large gob of acid at Kif. He dodged the majority of it but some splashed onto his hand.

-10 hp

[Accid erosion applied, -6hp per second until removed]

Kif stared in horror at his left hand. He didn’t have anything to remove the acid with. Grimly he drew his sword and placed his arm on the ground. With a resolute swing he cleaved off his own hand at the wrist.

-5 damage

[Accid erosion removed]

[Small bleed applied, -2hp for 10 seconds]

Watching his hp drop he sighed. He could live through the bleed, barely. unfortunately he was unable to use the sling with only one hand. Kif gripped his blade and looked at the queen. 20seconds had gone by and she had not moved from where she had spat the accid. Mu had struck her several times with the sling and had managed to injure one of her eyes for a crit of 10 damage. After 30 seconds of recovery the queen started glowing white again and the two goblins dodged her webshots. Kif now felt confident that he knew her attacks and waited, dodging what she did until after she spat her acid. He ran forward and struck the queen several times in her leg joints. He was able to sever 3 legs before the 30 second recovery period ended and he had to again back off. Hrolk’s sword was again doing work for the goblin as the queen's health was under %40 after his slashing spree. Instead of charging she went from the web spitting straight to the acid spitting and Kif was able to use that opening to finish her.

+1 level

[You have slain Spider queen]

[New title unlocked: One handed victory]

(Gained through winning with only one hand, Literally)

Kif smiled, happy that he had managed to finish this quest in only one day. The fights and marble recovery efforts had burned most of the day away. He left Mu behind to loot the Queen’s corpse for her poison sacks and headed to old goblin Bu.

“The Spider queen's lair is clear and all the spiders are gone.” He said.

“Realy?” Bu asked, “Well in that case let’s go. Go knock on Ub’s door and tell him that we can spread out into those caverns.”

“I thought you hated Ub. You even had me break his walking stick.”

“That was because my jerk of a grandson deserved it.” The old goblin said.

[You have completed cleanse the spider caverns for one of the greater goblin bloodlines in the Volcan lair. You may choose one of 3 rewards. 10 scavengers added to your lair, 8 guards added to the lair, or 6 companions added to the lair. Goblin Bu now considers you family]

Kif drooled at the scavengers but forced himself to think. His lair was a summonable safe zone so every goblin he had to defend it meant he could put it somewhere more risky but closer. The companions would be good as he wouldn’t need to go out seeking other players if he had an entire party of goblins with him. The scavengers on the other hand would consistently find and build him low level gear and could even be taught some basic crafts as Goblin Mi had been shown how to cook rat on a stick.

What decided him was the upcoming war. From what he knew about it the war would start on the plains in front of Dredmont castle, a large fortified city in the darklands. Assuming that the army lost in the morning then when Kif got off of work in the evening he would be stuck fighting to defend the city. Weaponless scavengers would be little use for the defence and the guards would provide little utility since they would only protect the lair. In the end Kif settled on 6 companions and Gained 4 goblin companions and 2 Brute companions. His Goblin lair skill leveled up and now he could summon his lair to any place that was dark so long as it had food sources available. He thanked goblin Bu and headed out of the Mountain and ran towards Dredmont. It took Kif only two hours to reach the city and he quickly headed down to it’s sewers. He didn’t have much time left but there were a few things he needed to do in preparations for tomorrow. First Kif Stopped at an unlit crossroads in the sewer system and summoned his Personal Lair. He grabbed all the loot that he had in his chest and led his companions up to the city proper. There he bought basic crafted leather armor for himself and Mu. Cheap bronze armor for the 2 brutes, and linen clothes for the regular goblins. Additionally Kif spent the money he had left from his loot trade ins on 2 large kite shields for the brutes. Now the only ones armed were himself and Mu. Returning to the lair Kif pulled out all of his surplus rusty daggers and handed them out to the goblins and brutes, making sure each goblin had 2 and the brutes both had one. He instructed them to practice versus each other and hunt the rats and other small monsters that inhabited the sewers. Finally Kif logged out, secure that he had done everything he could to prepare himself for the war.

Name: Kif

Level 16

Race: Goblin-Hobgoblin Variant

Alignment: Neutral evil (You work for the dark lord)

Class: Shock corps rider (you got drafted)

Stats

HP 92

Mana 80

Strength 13+10

Agility 13+10

Stamina 13+10

Wisdom 10+10

Intelligence 10+10

Defence 17+10

Luck 5+10

Racial traits

Stupidity 5 ( 3 points of resistance to fear and disabling effects per point during combat)

Fear 5 (%5 chance to self fear at the beginning of a fight)

Skills

General weapons mastery (beginner level 7) %7 bonus damage to weapon attacks

General crafting mastery (Beginner level 6) Only suffer minor durability loss when repairing items

Create Lair (Beginner level 10) Castable in dark locations so long as a food source is available. Increases based on Goblins in lair.

Utility Equip/Minor (one egg roll)

7 goblin companions

2 elite goblin lair guards

1 goblin scavenger child

(Author's rant. This feels short, like too short really. Luckily the war itself should end up long. also it’ll likely take me a long while to type it. Spoiler alert!! Expect pretty much everyone one one side or the other to die.)

Jason Velmont glared at the game statistics in front of him. He had named this game global conflict because he wanted to give his players the illusion that they could do anything. Most of the races however were not supposed to be playable in the end. The war itself was designed to completely wipe out the side of dark and make any race that survived it’s original survivability quest moot, however Half the side of dark’s races had been meant to fail their original survivability quest. Now he was looking at the information from a single goblin player. The player had caused several game changing quests to trigger already and had just finished giving the goblin race a 15% growth spurt. If this quest had happened at any other time it would mean a few more goblin raiders running around for players to deal with. With the timing that it had though it was going to mean an additional 8000 goblins assigned to the side of dark’s defences. Even with the inclusion of the dwarf race once again the side of light was only going to be able to muster an army of 40000 soldiers. The goblin defence itself now equaled 2/3rds of that number. Jason was loath to attempt to fix this through programming. Getting a working AI that didn’t go batshit crazy had been hard enough. The only way to weaken the side of darkness would be to reprogram it and that would take months. His game was set to release in 4 weeks so he didn’t have time to go about setting that up. Deciding that there was nothing he could do just staring at the numbers, Jason contacted his Game masters. His company had hired 20 game masters to play in the game as High level Elite and Legendary characters for the beta. They would eventually gain AI controllers based on the actions the Game masters took within the game. 16 of them worked on the side of light, as the intended player base would get the most contact with these more advanced NPC’s in this way. The last 4 were on the side of dark and were there to manage any bugs the dark side’s beta players discovered. Jason looked at the 16 GM’s on the side of light and ordered them all to make sure they were there for the battle. Their high levels would ensure the victor in this matchup. He additionally ordered the 4 dark GM’s to not participate in the first part of the battle. They could participate in the siege afterwards but the battle before the fortress would have to go on without them. Having thoroughly tilted the odds in the direction he desired Jason Velmont, CEO of the second biggest video game company in the world, left work to get some rest. Tomorrow would be an exciting day for everyone. The video of this battle would be used for advertising in the weeks leading to release.