《I Live a Funny Life》Chapter 7: Physical Education

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A new day, a new trouble awaits.

Is one of my few motto in life.

Because life can be funny sometimes.

Example, life is fun yesterday, but a shit storm the next day.

God sure knows how to be fair huh…

“My life is like that, yesterday was fun, I’ll just hope today won’t be a shit storm…”

I get off of my bed, do a little stretch, and look at my dad’s inspirational quote.

This is my new routine every morning, I don’t know how, it just happened.

I look at the clock on the wall in my living room, it says 5:35 am.

Since I won’t be having breakfast in my room ever again, I decided that I will wake up early everyday so I can search for a place that serves breakfast before heading out to school.

“Today is Friday huh…”

Tomorrow weekend starts, I have this plan with Suzuki on Sunday, and last night, Sona said she wants me to accompany her somewhere.

“Guess I’ll be busy on my weekend then…”

I head to shower wondering where I should have breakfast, last time I have Mike to cover for me, but I’d feel bad to trouble him again this soon.

Even after I finish showering, the answer has yet to arrive in my head.

“Who should I ask for help?”

Maybe Komiya?

“Hmm, I’ve just had breakfast at her place not too long ago…”

Suddenly, coldness stings my very bone.

I realize I’m standing in my living room half naked, with only towel covering my bottom half.

“Fuck…”

I said as I rush to the bedroom, to put on my uniform and everything.

“That’s right, P.E is today…”

I put the P.E uniform in my bag, I almost forgot about that one.

“Right, let’s go…”

With everything ready, I head out to find breakfast.

After I lock the door, I can hear a door opening behind me.

Don’t tell me…

“Yo, neighbor…”

I turn around, it’s Suzuki.

Man, it’s kind of awkward to meet her now, after what she said yesterday, And after that we just stay in silence until we each reach our room.

What should I say in this situation I wonder?

“Why neighbor? You know who I am…”

“Trying to keep it official for once, just trying…”

“Right…”

“So, where are you going this early? School is three hours away dude…”

“I’m going to have breakfast outside.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because the elevator will make me throw up if I have breakfast in my room.”

“Hmm, I see. Where do you plan to go though?”

“Good question, I was about to ask you…”

“Hmm…”

“Got any recommendation?”

“Go to the shopping district, now that you know where it is, there should be some place that serves breakfast…”

Should be some place huh?

What are the chances that a shop is actually open?

“I see, that’s better than nothing I guess, thanks…”

“Yeah sure…”

“What about you though? Were you always an early bird?”

“Me? Sometimes I eat breakfast at Inori’s place…”

“Sometimes?”

“Yeah, only when I woke up real early…”

“So you’re the type of student that goes to school when there’s ten minutes left huh…”

“Yep, you got that right, that’s how we first met remember.”

“So that’s why…”

“Yeah, well any way, I suggest you go now, the trip to the shopping district to the school is fifteen minutes you know…”

“Oh, thanks for the info. See you later then.”

“Yeah, later.”

I just stand there, waiting for her to go to her room first before heading out.

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But she actually does the same thing as me.

“What are you doing standing there like an idiot?”

“What are you doing standing there like an idiot?”

I don’t know how, but we both throw the same question at each other after we realize that the both of us are standing still here.

“You know what, forget it, later…”

I head to the elevator, but I can still feel her staring at me.

It’s just a feeling though…

But none of that matters, after I stood in front of my greatest enemy.

“Please be kind to me…”

I want to be fine after an elevator ride just once, of course, when I’m alone.

Somehow when there’s someone else to talk to, I never got sick in the elevator.

What kind of God created this world? That’s so weird and unfair.

Ting! The sound that indicates the elevator has arrives.

“Here goes nothing…”

I said as I enter as soon as the doors open.

I tried to close my eyes when I’m inside, but it makes me dizzier than usual.

Fuck me…

After I reach the lobby, I quickly get out and gasp for air, for fresh air…

“I hate you, I fucking hate you…”

After five minutes of sitting at the lobby, I continue my quest on finding a breakfast.

For now, the only lead that I have is what Suzuki said, she told me to check out the shopping district, since I have nowhere to go, might as well put my money on this one.

I can’t help but feeling nostalgic as I walk to the shopping district, because once again, I am among the few people who actually go out this early, while the others are still at their own place, doing their own business.

And the atmosphere, is something that can’t seem to be familiar with.

This peaceful atmosphere that only exist every morning, is something worth waking up early for, instantly putting me in a good mood.

“Straight ahead from the convenience store…”

From here it should be easy enough to remember how to get there.

As I walk the path, I arrive just before the park.

The road is really quiet, aside from birds chirping and dogs barking, the breeze feels nice too, not too cold and not too violent, and the warmth of the rising sun is just at the right temperature.

As I walk alone and quietly, I notice that not many shops are open, well at least not yet, considering how early this is, it’s no surprise really.

After 5 minutes of walking, I arrive at the shopping district.

“Empty…”

Well, not THAT empty, there are some open stores here and there, but none of them is a restaurant.

“Well, it was a gamble anyway…”

Realizing that searching for a restaurant is futile, I try to look for a café instead, or something, booth, stalls anything really, as long as it sells something edible.

With empty stomach and preventing diarrhea as my motivation, I walk further into the shopping district.

After some times of searching through the inner shopping district, I notice several love hotel and some café.

“Thank god for the café, but there are love hotel here too? Damn, this place has it all huh…”

Might be useful for future accident.

Yeah, might be.

I believe that love hotel doesn’t serve breakfast, so I stop thinking about the damn hotel and starts to search for a café that suits my taste, even though this is not the otaku heaven Akihabara, I can’t believe that there’s actually a maid café here, needless to say that’s not what I need right now.

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Or is it?

“Nah… let’s look for a more proper café…”

I look around, standing still, but looking around.

Do you know what a parrot do when it’s bored?

Looking around and make some noise.

I do the same without the noise making part.

“That looks promising…”

Just a few hundred meters further down the road, I spot a small café with someone in front of it, probably trying to attract customer.

Well, one thing I know, it works.

It’s the only café I notice with at least a person in it, or at it.

As I approach the guy, he smiles at me.

I’m not even there yet, save the smile for later, damn…

“Good morning! Are you searching for a place to have breakfast?”

Nice mind reading ability you got there, would be a shame if it’s proven to be a lucky guess.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, it’s that obvious huh…”

“Of course, why else would you wonder here? There’s a chance of you coming out of the hotel nearby though”

“Nope, not a chance at all.”

“I know right, you don’t look like the type.”

Is that an insult? Or a compliment?

“I see… well, this place is open right? Can I go in?”

“Of course! Welcome to Silver spoon café.”

Silver spoon? Isn’t that a symbol of being a rich people back in the day? Could it be that this place is not a low cost place?

But I’m already right before the entrance, I don’t want to be rude damn it.

“Here goes nothing…”

To be honest, I don’t mean to brag and boast, but I don’t have a problem if the price is a bit high, but if I can I want to find a cheaper place, you know, because I’m a student, I need to manage my money somehow.

“Welcome to Silver Spoon!”

That seems to be their greeting.

This place is… vacant.

Since there are lots of empty seats, I choose the table by the window, because sitting by the window is my favorite place to relax.

“Welcome to Silver Spoon café, this is our menu.”

“Thank you.”

I take the menu from him, the same guy that greeted me before I enter, I guess he’s the only employee here?

I scan the menu, to my surprise, despite the name of this café, the price is really, acceptable.

I open the breakfast menu section, it’s a pretty small menu, but I guess, what counts is the taste.

“I’ll have egg sandwiches and a cup of coffee please.”

“Would you like it spicy or not?”

“Hmm, a bit spicy please.”

“All right! One sandwiches and a cup of coffee coming right up.”

“Thanks.”

He heads to the counter and give my order to the man there, after that the man heads to what seems to be the kitchen.

While the guy starts brewing some coffee.

This is a nice place actually, nice atmosphere and reasonable prices? I might find a potential place to go for hanging out every time I’m bored.

I need to thank Suzuki for this.

“Here you go, a cup of coffee.”

“Thank you, that’s pretty fast.”

“Yeah, we don’t have that much customer this early.”

“What about later?”

“This place is a bit popular, we have a number of customer that keeps coming back.”

“I see, I might be one of them.”

“Well, I hope so, thank you so much.”

“No problem.”

I hear a bell rings and he walks to the counter, and after a while I can see him pulling out a plate from a small window on the wall.

Here comes my breakfast.

“And here you go, one egg sandwiches.”

“Thank you.”

After he put the plate on my table, he returns the tray to the kitchen and heads outside, probably trying to fish another customer.

Since I’m hungry, and the delicious smell doesn’t help me quell my hunger, it only makes it worse, I grab the sandwiches and quickly take a big bite.

“It’s good…”

Since it’s cheap I was expecting it to be, meh.

But it proves to be more than worth the price it was given.

Not even five minutes after it arrives, the sandwiches is already gone.

And the portion is just right for breakfast too, filling, but not making me too full.

I look at my watch as I sip my coffee, it says 6:38 am.

Still pretty early, I wish I can stay here longer, but it’ll be bad for my wallet.

Wait, if he’s outside, how the hell am I supposed to pay? There’s no one else in this room beside me.

I walk to the counter and search around behind it, in case there’s someone around here.

But none, no one there.

“Can I help you?”

“Woah!”

Shit!, damn!

“Don’t scare me like that!”

The dude that was outside not 5 seconds ago suddenly talks behind me, needless to say he scared the living shit out of me.

I’m the type that’s easily startled, in case you haven’t notice.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

I take a deep breath…

“It’s alright, it’s okay…”

“I see, well, anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah, the bills…”

“Oh, coming right up, you may wait at your table if you like…”

“Sure…”

I have my bag with me, so I just stand there despite agreeing to his suggestion.

Fuck me right?

“Here you go.”

750 yen for a good breakfast set.

“Here you go, you can keep the change…”

I hand him 800 of course.

“Thank you! Come back again anytime!”

Probably every morning though.

“Sure…”

Since I’ve done what I came here for, I immediately leave the café.

Fret not, for I will be back.

Now, if what Suzuki said is true, it should only be a fifteen minute walk to school, it shouldn’t take long really, I’m early so I shouldn’t be late either.

Maybe hit the arcade?

Pfft, yeah right, what kind of arcade open this early in the morning.

Well, even if I do find an arcade that open at this hour, pretty sure I’ll forget about school somehow, so let’s not go there.

Now that I think about it, how can I get to school from here?

I kind of wander here without actually knowing where I was going.

"Let's retrace our step..."

First we'll head straight down this road.

"And then, there should be that love hotel here..."

But no, I don't find any love hotel that i remember from before.

"That's weird, I'm pretty sure I came from here..."

Don’t tell me…

“Am I lost?”

In a place this small?

I never knew I have a bad navigational skill…

“Calm down, this is not claustrophobic, so let’s calm down.”

For now, I’ll just retrace my steps and go back the way I believe I came from.

“Which is this way.”

There should be that one love hotel right there…

“Take a left, and…”

Boom, it’s over there.

“Thank you.”

This hotel will be a new checkpoint…

Wait, that’s bad, if I ever come here with a girl and I’m looking for this hotel unconsciously, shit will be awkward…

“Well, this is a one time thing…”

For now, let’s just go to school…

I walk down the road, keep heading straight and arrive at the park near my apartment.

It’s pretty simple, but how the hell can I get lost?

Shame on me…

Before I walk through the school gate, I look at my watch.

“It’s only 6:54…”

What the fuck should I do? Class starts in one hour…

“Whatever, I’ll just go to class for now, maybe Komiya is there already…”

So without further ado, I start walking to the classroom.

While I’m walking to the locker, I can hear someone talking about me.

Well, not exactly someone, more like a bunch of people.

You know, talk about me all you like, just don’t spread some nasty rumors.

I’m cool as long as it’s fun and games…

After I change my shoes, I head to class immediately, there, I see Komiya at her desk, reading all alone as always.

Some things don’t change huh…

“Morning Komiya.”

“Eh? M-morning Reno.”

“Are you the first one here?”

“Y-yes…”

Oh really? That’s a lucky guess but, seriously?

“Wow, were you always this early?”

“I-it’s better than being late, besides, I really love this quietness in the class.”

“You really love to read huh?”

“Y-yes!”

All right, get hype all you want but…

“Please don’t shout…”

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Well, it’s good for you then.”

“Pardon?”

“You have one good thing to look forward in life.”

“T-thanks…”

“Though, aren’t you lonely?”

Woah, why did I jump on the straightforward train?

“W-well, there are times, but…”

“But?”

“I have friends like Suzuki and you, so I don’t feel lonely…”

Like me huh?

I think that’s a lot coming from her.

“Well, if you say it like that, it’s kinda embarrassing…”

“S-sorry, I don’t mean to…”

“It’s all right, I really appreciates the thought, I’ll try my best to be a good company for you.”

“Y-you don’t have to…”

“Maybe I don’t, but I want to…”

“Thank you, Reno…”

“Hey, no problem.”

We keep chatting on for a while, I just sit on an empty chair beside her.

I learn a lot of things about her, starting from daily activities, which only consist of go to school, read books, home works, and video games.

I can relate actually, but looking at it on a different perspective, it’s actually kind of sad and boring.

Well, we kept talking until eventually the original owner of the chair I sat on came.

And eventually, more student came into the class, so I bid farewell to Komiya and sit on my own desk.

“Hmm, maybe I should hang out with her…”

But when? Saturday, which is tomorrow, Sona is asking me to accompany her, and Sunday I have a plan with Suzuki…

“Next week?”

“Hey Reno.”

I turn around, a classmate is calling for me.

“What is it?”

“Nothing really, it’s just someone is looking for you again.”

“Again? Is it another seniors?”

“Yeah, judging from their collars.”

“I see, thanks.”

“Sure, no sweat.”

I bet my ass it’s Ishida and Manako again.

When I walk outside, true enough, there you go…

“Good morning Reno.”

“Good morning Ishida.”

“Hey hey, why do you look disappointed?” Manako said

“I’m not…”

Yeah right, like I did a good job hiding it.

“Are we bothering you?”

“No No, not at all, what can I help you with?”

“Nothing actually, the president wants to see you.”

“The president? As in the student council president?”

“None other.” Ishida said

“No less and no more!” Manako said

“For what reason?”

“Unknown to us, let’s just go…” Manako said as she pulls my hand

“Sayuri, don’t pull him around like that.”

“Yeah Ishida, help me here…”

“But he’s reluctant to go…”

“I’m not, I was willing to go with all my heart and soul…”

“See? He’s willing, now let him go.”

“Fiiinneeee…” She lets me go.

“Thank you…”

“Don’t mention it.” Manako said

“I wasn’t…”

“You’re welcome Reno, just ignore her.”

“R-right…”

What a weird pair…

How can a calm person like Ishida be stuck with Manako?

I mean, they are both second years and in the student council, but still it’s just-

“President! He’s here!”

“Oy, don’t shout this early in the morning.”

My thought is destroyed with Manako’s shouting…

It also makes me realize that we’re at the student council room already.

I’m nervous, for some reason.

The unknown President is finally making their appearance.

“What are you doing? Get inside Reno…”

“R-right…”

After a deep breath, I step inside, it’s the same as ever, the only difference is there’s someone sitting on the president’s seat.

“So…” He claps his hand as he stands up “You’re the new guy…”

“Y-yes I am…”

“Nice to meet you, I’m the President of the student council…”

“I-I see…”

There’s silence between us…

“Your name Mr.President, introduction is about exchanging names…” Ishida said

“Huh? Oh right, I forgot…”

Really?

“My name is Homura Ren, The president of the student council…”

I know the last part already, we all do…

“My name is Reno Mikhael, a new member of the student council, a first year.”

“Nice to meet you Reno.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Where are the other first years?”

“Well, they are not here yet, Reno is always here early so he’s the only one right now…”

“I see, too bad, I don’t know when will I go here again though…”

“Is that so? It’s okay, we have enough members to get around.”

“Really? Well then, thank you!.”

He check his watch.

“I need to go now, see you later, oh and, welcome to the student council Reno, work hard and you won’t regret it!”

Regret what, exactly?

“Sure, thank you.”

Whatever, just smile and nod, that’s enough for now.

“Sorry about the hectic morning routine of the student council…”

“I’ve had it worse, trust me.”

“Oh really? Why’s that?”

“Later Ishida, let’s not make it worst shall we?”

“Hmm? Why’d you say that?”

Oh for the love of God…

“Anyway, that’s all, right? I need to go back now.”

“Ah, yes, that’s all.”

“Going back already?” Manako asked

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t worry, do what you have to do…”

Well, I don’t have anything I have to do though, I just want to get some peace and quiet…

“Well, see you guys later then.”

“Sure, later.” Ishida said

“Later!” Manako said

With no further business in there, I quickly head downstairs to my class.

When I’m about to enter the classroom, I notice that Miura and Ryu are already there, talking to each other as usual.

Shit, now that I think about it, how should I greet Miura?

Hey Dude, you had it rough huh?

Of course dumbass, dump that stupid idea out.

He’s acting normal, so maybe I should too.

“Whatever, let’s go…”

I whispered to myself, trying to convince myself everything will be okay, this is Miura we’re talking about.

“Hey Reno!”

Miura called when I’m close enough for them to notice my presence.

"Hey, good morning Ryu."

"Morning dude..."

"Do you know?"

"What is it?"

"I got rejected yesterday."

What? Why?

I mean, why the fuck would he say that?

"Tha'ts-"

"I know that you know..."

Then why bother asking?

"I'm sorry Miura."

"No sweat, thanks to you that I can get over it."

"Are you okay though?"

"Hell yeah I am, just imagine years worth of trouble suddenly being lifted from your shoulder."

"It feels light." Ryu said

"Exactly." Miura said

"I'm glad to know that you're okay, but i guess it's still hard on you right?"

"That's an unnecessary question..." Miura said

"But..."

"Of course he's okay, just the other day, he won't stop bragging and complaining what part of him is not charming enough." Ryu said

"I know right! Reno, tell me what part of me should i change so i can get a girl!"

Impossible, that's like...

"Asking me how to turn Iron into a Gold."

"Midas did that." Miura said

"That's just a legend fool."

"Aww, come on..."

"Jokes aside, I think there's nothing wrong with your personality and looks..." Ryu said

"Then why?" Miura asked

"You might need to find the correct girl that would choose you." Ryu said

"And how do I do that?"

"Dunno, I'm not the Romeo here." Ryu said

They look at me simultaneously.

"Me?"

"Of course." Ryu said

"Don't of course me, tell me why?!"

"Well, you're the only one here that's surrounded by beautiful chicks." Miura said

"Hey, in my defense, I never intended to make them swarm all over me like that."

"So it's natural?" Miura said

"This again? Really?"

"Hey, we're just curious." RYu said

"So do I!"

"Hmm, maybe it's because he's charismatic?" Miura said

"But he's kind of dense though." Ryu said

"I'm not."

"Really?" Ryu said

"Yeah, chicks don't dig dense dudes."

"Like who?" Miura asked

"Exactly."

"What?" Miura said

"Nevermind."

We just keeps talking on and on again.

Of course, only until the teacher walks in.

It's really good to know that Miura's back to his usual self already, I was worried that he might be a bit down after what happened.

But I guess, at the end of the day, Miura is still Miura.

After the 1st period ended, we enter the lunch break section.

"Let me guess, no lunch for you?" RYu said

"Wow, nice guess, how do you know?"

"It's really hard to tell if that's a compliment or sarcasm." Miura said

"You both know which one is it."

"Sure we know, then you better go son, we have P.E after this." RYu said

"I know right, I'm not the one that asked the questionably stupid question."

"Right, off you go, I'm pretty sure someone is waiting for you out there."

"Hah, yeah right..."

Please don't say that, I really want to have lunch alone this time.

After saying later to the duo, I head out immediately.

When I'm about to walk out of the door, someone is tugging my sleeve.

So I turn around immediately.

"Can I help you Komiya?"

"N-nothing really..."

"So you're just tugging me for no apparent reason?"

"N-no, I'm sorry..."

"Why don't you say it then?"

"I-it's just, Saya said she wanted to talk to you after school."

"Oh really?"

Why through her though?

Pretty sure she knows my number.

"Y-yes, she said she'll be waiting by the school gate."

"I see, all right, I got the message."

She won't let go of my sleeve however.

"Anything else?"

She realize and lets go of me instantly.

Chill down girl, not like I'm going to sue you or anything.

"I-I'll be going now, later!"

Yikes, shouts louder and the teachers will come here themselves.

She walks back to her desk to pick up a bunch of lunchboxes.

No surpirse there...

Anyway, with that out of the way, where should I go now?

For now, I'll just buy some bread to accompany me later.

As I walk to the cafeteria, I can't help but hear a bunch of students gossiping.

The topic is rather..., worrying.

Why?

To tell you the truth, I've been hearing talks about bullies, but I never paid much attention to it because I thought that it was just a rumor.

But the more I pay attention, the more I realize that the bullying is real.

Based on what I hear, the bully are a bunch Second Years, people keep talking about how they are a hoodlums that hangs out with the bad crowd.

Apparently, most of the students, even the third years tried to avoid them.

The victim this time is a first year.

Of course.

Fucking cowards gang up on a single person acting all high and mighty.

Fucking pathetic.

"So what would you have today Reno?"

Huh?

"I'm sorry?"

"You've been mumbling to yourself since ten seconds ago, come on, there's a line behind you in case you haven't notice."

Oh shit, I must have spaced out.

Bad habit of thinking too hard.

"I'm sorry, I'll just have two choclate bread and a vanilla milk."

"Oh, no tea today?"

"I uhh..., wanted to try something for a change."

"All right, no harm done, wait a second."

"Sure."

After a while.

"You know what, scratch that vanilla milk of the list, I want to have the usual tea."

"Ha, that's the Reno I knew."

"It's not that weird that I want to try something else is it?"

"But milk defintely doesn't suit you."

"Questioning a customer doesn't suit you either."

"Just saying, just saying..."

"Right, here's the money, unless the price went up, this is the correct amount yes?"

"Correct as usual, now move along, there's-"

"A line behind me, yes, I know."

For fuck sake...

I leave the cafeteria behind, staying there won't do anyone any good.

Now where should I eat today?

"I think I'll go there today too."

Where is there you might ask?

Remember the place where I met Sonia?

Yes, there...

After a short but feels like a long walk, I arrived.

I sit down immediately and open my first bread.

"I need to stop eating this delicious shit..."

Like, a proper meal, or perhaps, a proper lunch would be nice.

Maybe I should cook something next time.

Only after I buy myself a new lunchbox though.

I hear a bunch of people talking not far from here.

Can't they keep it quiet?

Lunch break are supposed to be full of peace and tranquility, not-

"Look, you're lonely right? We'll make that plaing looking guy your friend, don't worry."

What the fuck?

I look around, there are a bunch of seniors and one first year.

Is that the bullies?

This early?

Why can't you make it a bit lat-

Bah, Nevermind...

"You talking to me?"

"No, we're talking to the tree."

"I see, well, good luck on getting a reply with that one."

"Of course to you dumbass!" He said snatching my bread from my palm.

"That's rude."

"Oh yeah? you know what else is rude? you not giving us your lunch money that is."

They laugh.

What a bunch of brain dead bonobos.

"You know, what you said before, about me being plain looking."

"Huh?"

"I'm kinda offended by that statement."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do about that?!"

"If you let him go right now, I won't do anything that many would consider dangerous."

One of them lets go of the first year, not long after that, he run away.

Good for you mate.

But now I'm stuck with these monkeys.

"You trying to be funny asshole?!" He said while grabbing my collar.

Ahh, the violent types, of course.

One would expect no less from a barbarian.

"Hey, no violence, let's keep this funny." I said

"You know what else is funny?"

"Your mom when she's on her wedding dress?"

Oooops, it slipped from my tongue.

"You bastard!"

Right punch, slow and sluggish movement, no sign of martial arts masteries, as I thought, just the average brute.

But since I'm with the student council, I can't use violence unless they use it first.

And since I hate bullies, I'll let this dude-

Without much delay, I felt a sharp punch to my guts.

Doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would, really.

"We're not finished yet!" He said

"Oh trust me, we're just getting started." I said

I quickly look up and strike the neck of the second year that punched me, and no more than five seconds...

He's lying on the ground unconsious, that should teach him a lesson or two.

As a member of the student council, using violence is not good, But damn that feels good!

Damn!

"So..." I tidy my collar, repositioning my tie. "Who's next?"

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