She was in the middle of a dream and her phone started ringing, she immediately woke up and frantically looked until she found it, “Hello?”

“Umm is this… Elliot’s phone?” a woman asked.

Raine pulled it back and looked at the screen, it said ‘Krista’, she put it back up to her ear, “Oh yes, this is his phone, I grabbed it thinking it was mine, umm hang on, I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright,” the woman, Krista, said kindly.

She looked over at Elliot who was still asleep somehow, she touched his shoulder, “Elliot, wake up.”

He opened his eyes and smiled, “Good morning, I’m gonna miss waking up to you tomorrow.”

Raine handed him the phone, “It’s Krista, I’m so sorry, it woke me, and I thought it was mine so I answered, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” he said soothingly, “I guess one of us should change our ringtone,” he teased trying to calm her. She knew that he knew why she was acting like this. Luke would have literally beat her for answering his phone. He had actually done it a few times.

“Hello,” Elliot said into his phone, “oh no I’m fine it’s not an emergency, I just, I can’t kiss my girlfriend… yea she answered the phone… just since yesterday, officially… umm I don’t know, I don’t want her to get hurt… lunch at what time?... well at least let me pay… well I’m not trying to get free therapy…” he laughed, then said, “yea we are but I’m not trying to take advantage of my friend… okay, thank you, Krista, bye.”

Raine had been laying there watching him, “what did she say?”

“She wants to have lunch with me to hear about my new girlfriend, something about laying the foundation so we can get into it deeper on Wednesday,” he said.

“So, you guys are friends?” she asked.

“Well we weren’t but after what we went through together…” he stopped himself.

“What?” she asked.

“I can’t tell you, it’s …I can’t I’m sorry,” he said.

“Oh, that’s okay,” she said.

“Well… we were kidnapped,” he said.

“What?”

“Vera kidnapped her and then me and he forced us at gunpoint to have a therapy session… which is why I never brought it up before and didn’t even tell Darlene, because of what was discussed… I can’t even think about that, so I’ll skip that part if that’s okay?”

“Of course, what happens in therapy is always private, even if it’s gunpoint therapy,” she said, she almost laughed but the look on his face told her how important and serious it was, so she didn’t.

“Well anyway,” he continued, “it was bad, and after that Krista ended up killing him, it was self-defense because he had us trapped, plus I told you how I got flipper from that guy and all the other things she and I went through, so yea we are friends.”

“Wow, I’m so sorry… so that’s why he’s not around anymore,” she said, “I won’t tell anyone, not even Darlene.”

“Please don’t, because she likes to push me to talk sometimes when it’s better not to, not yet,” he said.

“I’m really glad you have her, Krista.”

“You should talk to her about your stuff,” he said.

“Ugh, I might, she sounded nice and obviously she’s got a good judge of character, picking you as a friend.”

He smiled at her, “Do you want me to see if she can get you in?”

“Maybe… Oh, what time is it? And where is my phone?” she said, looking for it.

“Hey,” he grabbed her arm, “why are you avoiding this?”

“Elliot, let me just ignore stuff,” she said.

“That won’t make it go away, believe me.”

“I’ll think about it, but don’t push me okay? I need to be ready,” she said.

“Okay,” he said, then he handed her, her phone.

“Did you have that all night?” she asked.

“No, I saw it when I was on my phone and I wanted to talk to you about you seeing Krista without you having an excuse to not listen to me.”

She scowled jokingly at him, “you’re so conniving.”

He shrugged, clearly pleased with himself.

“I do have to go though, it’s like eleven and I still need to change and everything,” she said.

“Will I see you later? Or is tomorrow better?”

“I will be home at around nine, so we’ll see, is that okay?” she asked.

He raised an eyebrow at her so she said, “Oh right I’m not asking if it’s okay… hmm I will let you know when I want to and you have to deal with it,” she said trying to sound stern.

“That’s better,” he said.

“No, I’m not mean like that, we can text and see what’s up when the time comes, how is that?” she said.

“That’s perfect,” he said, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. She got up and put on Elliot’s sweatpants from the day before, “I’m gonna wear these home and wash them at my place.”

“Good, stern, I like it,” he said, she laughed. He got up and picked up flipper and walked Raine to the door, carrying the dog with him.

She pet flipper on the head got close to her face and said, “bye baby puppy”, flipper licked her nose. Elliot took flippers paw and waved at Raine with it, and she almost fainted at how cute he was. He put his arm around her and hugged her and kissed her forehead, “I’ll see you later baby.”

“Okay, I’ll text you when I get to his house… if you want? Damn it, I mean…” she looked up at him and shrugged.

“You’re good, and yes I want you to,” he said, kissing her forehead again. It felt like he didn’t want to let her go but he did.

She went home and showered and changed into something appropriate for church and threw Elliot’s pants into the dirty clothes pile. She couldn’t bring herself to wash the shirt because it still smelled like him somehow. Elliot didn’t wear cologne, he just smelled clean and rugged all at once but never dirty. Considering everything else about him it was odd how clean and hygienic he was about himself. Even his haircut was kept tight and neat looking and he always kept his face clean-shaven, she never even saw him with a five o’clock shadow. She had these thoughts as she went out to the car Papi had bought her when she graduated high school many years ago, it still ran, and she rarely drove it except to Papi’s house out in the country. She kept it parked in the alley behind the shop near the useless picnic table where her and Darlene always got high. There wasn’t really parking back here but no one bothered her about it. She drove the thirty minutes out of town to spend the day with what had previously been the only man in her life that cared about her. She couldn’t wait to tell him about Elliot. Well, some things about Elliot. Before she went in she texted Elliot to let him know she had made it safe.

R: Hey at Papi’s now

E: Okay, at lunch with Krista, talked to Darlene, she’s at my place and she’s good

R: Good, I was starting to worry because she didn’t leave a note at my apartment

E: She’s fine, how is Papi?

R: I haven’t gone in yet

E: Oh I won’t keep you, plus Krista is smiling at me weird

E: miss you

R: miss you

She knew she was standing on the porch smiling at her phone like an idiot, but she didn’t care. She wondered about his lunch though, it was driving her crazy wondering what all he would say about her. He had pretty much said the whole point of today was to tell his therapist all about her. It made her super anxious and at the same time giddy and curious. She was relieved Darlene was okay, she would yell at her later for not texting her back all morning, which she didn’t mention to Elliot because she didn’t want to worry him. She went in without knocking because she had a key and Papi was setting in his favorite recliner smoking a cigar.

“Papi, didn’t your doctor tell you to quit smoking?”

“I’m eighty-five, I’ll quit when I’m dead,” he said and laughed, which made him start coughing. She raised an eyebrow at him but smiled in spite of herself. She went over and kissed his cheek.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“What’s up? Hmm Trump is still president and I’m still getting old, but you’re here today so I’d say I have a good balance.”

She smiled and sat on his couch.

He puffed on his cigar and said, “What’s up with you?” and it made her laugh, hearing him say such a thing.

“Oh you know work and stuff, same shit as they say,” she said.

“Girl you know I know you better than that, something has got you bright-eyed, you better not be messing around with that scumbag Luke fella.”

“No Papi, not Luke… but I did meet someone, someone else.”

“He good to ya?”

“So far, I just met him Thursday,” she said.

“What’s his name?”

“Elliot…”

“Elliot huh? What’s his last name? Maybe I know some of his people,” he said.

She hated to say it because Papi watched the news constantly, “It’s uhhh Alderson.”

“Alderson? Doesn’t sound like anyone I know, Elliot Alderson,” he repeated to himself as if it were familiar somehow.

She braced herself for him to realize where he’d heard the name.

“Say isn’t that the name of that boy down in Jersey that stopped the nuclear bomb?” he asked.

“Umm it was a nuclear meltdown, Papi,” she said avoiding the obvious.

“Does this fella you’re dating know he has the same name as a hero?” he asked, then he looked at her and saw the look on her face, “ooh it is him.”

“Uhh yeah, that’s… that’s him,” she said.

“Well if he’d do that to save a town, I hope he’d go to the same lengths for you,” he said.

She smiled, “he might.”

“He ought to, even someone like him should do everything he can to keep you, you’re one in a million.”

“Papi,” she rolled her eyes, “you just say that cause I’m family.”

“No I say it 'cause it’s true, taking care of an old man when you could be out dating your famous hero.”

“You’re my priority Papi, you always will be,” she said, “Elliot can wait.”

“That’s my girl, putting family above a man,” Papi said.

It hadn’t always been so, Luke didn’t like it when she visited Papi, said she came back full of herself. Papi had always had a way of bringing her back down to earth, and no matter how much Luke had tried to brainwash her, Papi was always her anchor to reality. She was glad Papi seemed to approve of Elliot, he kept asking little questions but acting like he didn’t care much. Papi was an old-school proud Italian man like her father had been, so he didn’t show emotion all the time, but he radiated love in spite of himself.

She cooked him a meal the way he had taught her, real homemade chicken and alfredo with pasta and garlic bread. His caretaker she’d hired helped do the grocery shopping and he insisted on only fresh ingredients. Though she was the only one who cooked here. During the week his caretaker made frozen dinners that he hated. If she’d had more time Raine would have come over every day and cook for him but it wasn’t logical or manageable. Things like that made her sad though, Papi was so used to cooking for himself and it was magical. He made things that were unbelievable. He said she was even better than him, but she knew he was just saying that. They went to church that evening and then came the hard part. Saying goodbye. She knew he hated her to leave and it broke her heart every week. She helped him back into the house and straightened everything up perfectly before she left. She cried when she got outside like she always did, not knowing if this was the last visit. She sat in her car until she was done crying and decided to check her phone. She always pretty much ignored everything when she was with Papi out of respect. She usually didn’t have anything much but today she saw her phone had blown up with calls from Darlene and texts from her and Elliot. She quickly started reading through Darlene’s texts, but it was all just silliness about Brandon, and jokes about Raine ‘doing’ her brother. Elliot’s texts were more serious.

E: Hey

E: need to talk

E: it’s important

E: When are you going to be home?

E: Are we okay?

The last one made her chuckle but also made her sad, poor guy thought she was just ignoring him. Instead of texting back, she decided to call him.

“Hello?” he answered on the second ring.

“Hey there,” she said trying to ease his mind with cheerfulness.

“Oh hey.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Umm yea… isn’t it?”

“Yea, it was a good day, I actually can’t wait to tell you about it, Papi is doing well.”

“That’s great, listen I have something to ask you, and I know you’re going to be mad.”

“Okay…” she waited.

“Not on the phone,” he said.

“Oh okay, I’ll be home in half an hour, and you can come over.”

“Okay,” he said, then just hung up without saying goodbye or anything. They hadn’t talked on the phone before, so she didn’t know if it was something he just did or if he was being weird. She called Darlene and talked to her on speaker as she drove down the road, Brandon was a douchebag, Darlene had left him setting in a restaurant when he started talking bad about the hackers who had done the 5/9 hack. Darlene had no idea what Elliot was going to ask her, but she cracked up when Raine told her about her conversation about Mr. Robot. “Those two never cease to amaze me with their stupidity.” By the time they were done talking Raine felt a little less nervous. But she still talked to herself the whole way home, “If he seriously asks me again to kiss Mr. Robot, I will kill him, well not kill him but we are breaking up, well no not really because he’s great… but I will be so mad. What did Krista say? Oh gosh what if she told him we can’t date, but why would she do that?” she went on like that asking herself insecure questions with unknown answers until she pulled in at the shop. She texted Elliot that she was home and went in the back door. She started to go upstairs to freshen up and maybe change into something literally a little more comfortable. Then Brittney stopped her, “hey Raine, your hot boyfriend is here, he asked if you were home yet.”

“I just texted him, what the… never mind, where is he?” she asked.

“Upfront, he ordered you both a decaf PSL, isn’t that sweet?” Brittney said.

Raine smiled and headed to the sitting area, and sure enough there sat her hacker in a hoodie, hood up, and sipping what she assumed was his pumpkin spice. So, she’d converted him after all. He spotted her coming toward him and he looked nervous, but he smiled. She got to the table and he stood up and gave her a quick hug and sat back down. She sat across from him in the booth and said, “Hey,” apprehensively.

“Hey, how was your day?”

“It was good, I made dinner and we went to church,” she said. He nodded but didn’t look like he’d heard a word she said. He didn’t even respond so she said, “Elliot?”

“Yea? Sorry umm, I got you a coffee,” he said.

“Is it decaf?” she asked, and he nodded.

She stared at him forcing him to pick up his side of the conversation, “It’s your favorite, I got one too, they are actually pretty…”

“Are you breaking up with me?” she interrupted.

“What?! No! no why would you even think that?” he said.

“Well… you’re acting so nervous and I just thought, you know this is too good to be true and I already told Papi about you and he’s happy about it, things can’t just be good for me so I figured it’s probably the worst thing, the thing you want to talk about,” she said almost completely without taking a breath.

He chuckled lightly and she said, “it’s not funny.”

“I know, I’m sorry, but I told you I had something to ask you, what did you think I’d be asking? ‘can I break up with you?’”

“Well… I don’t know…” she pouted.

He made a little ‘aww’ sound and said, “I’m sorry I scared you but I’m a little scared to ask this,” he said, getting serious.

“Just say it, rip the band-aid off.”

“Krista wants you to come to therapy with me this week,” he said.

“Oh… oh, umm why?” she asked.

“She thinks it will help, I umm well she wanted to know how we act together so she can figure out if it’s a ‘me’ thing or a ‘you’ thing?”

“What does that mean?” she asked.

“I guess whether I’m scared to kiss anyone or just you,” he said.

“Why would it be just me?” she eyed him suspiciously.

“I kind of told her about your… last relationship,” he bit his lip and looked terrified, “are you mad?”

“No… no, I don’t think so… what brought it up?” she asked.

“Well she heard us this morning, she asked why you seemed so scared of me when you answered my phone,” he said.

“Did she think you were mean to me?” she kind of laughed at the thought.

“No, no she heard my side of it too and said I sounded confused by your reaction, actually I didn’t even need to tell her about the abuse, she figured it out on her own I guess, because she asked me if you had been in a relationship like that,” he explained.

“So, she’s like really good at this?” she asked.

“Yea,” he said, “I promise this was all her idea, she brought it up and I never even thought that like… we could go in together like that, I thought a couple’s counselor was a different thing altogether,” he said.

“So, we are getting couple’s counseling already… that has to be a record,” she said.

“I don’t know if it’s exactly like that…” he started.

“I know, I was half-joking, I’m just scared,” she said.

“About what?” he asked.

“I spend so much time trying to forget the bad things that have happened to me, I just don’t want to deal with it, I wish I could put it all in a bag in my mind and throw it away somehow, create fake good memories in their place,” she said.

“No, you don’t, I’ve done that, I mean I actually did that… well I told you about the alternate reality place,” he said.

“The inner world,” she said.

“Is that the technical term?” he asked.

“Most people with DID use it,” she said.

“Oh, so that’s… common?” he asked curiously.

She smiled, “yes, in almost all cases.”

He let out a little breath as if he was a little relieved. She was glad she had been able to bring this up accidentally and make him feel a little better.

He looked at her, “you know Krista encouraged me to connect with people but that’s not easy for me.”

“It’s okay, just a little at a time is fine, whatever works best for you,” she said grabbing his hand across the table.

“So, you’re not mad about coming?” he asked.

“Who said I agreed?” she teased, and he tilted his head at her, so she said, “fine if you’re going to go all sad puppy face on me… for you, I will come, but I have to find someone to switch shifts with, what time is the appointment?”

“Ten-thirty,” he said.

“So, what it lasts about an hour? Maybe I can just get someone to cover a couple of hours,” she said. Elliot sat there with a grin on his face.

She smirked at him, “you’re pretty pleased with yourself, huh?”

“I’m just glad you’re coming,” he said, rubbing her hand with his thumb. She had almost forgotten they were holding hands across the table.

“Well you may have gotten me to go to therapy, but I have you drinking a pumpkin spice latte, so we’re even,” she winked at him to let him know she was just teasing him.

“It’s not bad, I like peppermint mocha better,” he said.

“That’s a Christmas drink, in the fall you drink pumpkin spice, around Christmas you have peppermint mocha,” she said.

“What about the rest of the year?” he asked.

“Hmm… spring is amaretto, and summer is chocolate coconut,” she said.

“So that’s what you get in the spring and summer?” he asked.

“No, I get pumpkin spice… because I like it, hazelnut is okay too,” she said.

He nodded like he was memorizing all of this because he probably was. She smiled and drank her coffee.

“So, tell me about your day, you cooked?” he asked.

“Yea I’m a great cook,” she said. She told him all about her day and learning to cook from her dad and Papi as a teenager, she told him about her fears and crying every time she left Papi’s. It was different talking to a guy that seemed to hang on to her every word and offers advice and comforting words. Luke had been especially terrible, but even the guys she’d gone on a few dates with only seemed interested in themselves and her body. She had never slept with anyone besides Luke and Elliot knew this about her. It made her even more nervous because Luke was always telling her how terrible she was at everything.

“I’d like to meet him sometime,” Elliot said about Papi.

“Hopefully soon,” she said, “I can cook for you both.” She smiled at the thought of it, maybe she could invite Darlene too. Making a meal for her three favorite people sounded like a great dream.

“So umm, it’s getting late,” she said.

“Yea I have a busy day at work tomorrow,” he said.

“So, I mean, I’m already home,” she laughed.

“Are you asking me to leave?” he grinned.

“No, I was wondering if you wanted to sleep with me,” she said a little too loud just as a group of older customers walked by and turned to give her a dirty look. She shook her head at them and said, “JUST sleep.” Elliot was laughing at her.

She sighed, “you see that? Stuff like that happens to me all the time, how does that even happen in real life?”

Elliot checked to make sure customers were still there and loudly said, “I’d LOVE to sleep with you,” he paused and looked at them, daring them to say something about it but they just turned and left, he looked at Raine and continued, “now you’re not alone in being embarrassed.”

She laughed, “thank you but you just ran off some customers.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

She waved a hand at him, “they’ll be back, our coffee is that good… so you do want to spend the night?”

“Well like I said, I’d love to, but I get up really early for work and I wear horrible work clothes so…” he shrugged.

“That’s perfectly fine Mr. Alderson, you’re a good boy, no sleepovers on a school night,” she laughed.

“Now that sounds like a challenge,” he said.

“No seriously, it’s fine, I don’t want to wear you out,” she said.

“You don’t?” he gave her the sexiest grin she’d ever seen.

“Well… not yet,” she winked at him.

They finished their coffee and said goodbye, she went upstairs and stayed up worried about what she’s agreed to. She knew she needed therapy, but she just wanted to forget about it and move on from the past. Which was hard to do considering her past was constantly in her Facebook message inbox.