From another corridor twisted a couple of monsters, which also quickly sprayed.

“How much cost a full version?” Caldwell asked me, not yet experienced with me.

“Very cheap. I'll give it to you in exchange for your soul. Advanced design, infinite ammo, personal binding. No one can use except you. No one can steal, break or throw away. If you buy two at once, get a gift from a collection of braid set 'Merry Death'.”

I demonstrated the above-mentioned edged weapons of avant-garde pink colors with images of seals on the blade and handle.

They wanted to ask me a hundred more questions, but I made a surprised face and said:

“Ow! My milk is boiling on stove. I'll come back to you later. Good luck.”

With that, I casted invisibility spell on myself and watched a group of players went through the dungeon in the shooter, where the difficulty gradually rose from 'Kill me gently' to 'Nightmare'.

Spirits are constantly arriving to the workplace, then absorbed the magical energy and received a physical embodiment. My weapons only temporarily destroyed the projection, angering the spirits and forcing them to return for revenge. In the first hour, victims of circumstances lazily shot back from appearing here and there zombies. For the second hour they were shooting without interruption every few seconds. On the third hour of the confrontation undead attacked as river, and to cope with them was possible only because the shotguns could destroy multiple projections in one shot.

At the end of the fourth hour the first victims appeared. One of the technicians hesitated, let the zombies get too close to him, and they literally pulled him out of the crowd, buried under their bodies. I immediately teleported the loser to the next room, where I sealed him in the fuinjutsu seal. Half an hour after the first 'death' there was a second. And then the players started 'dying' one by one. In the end, there was only Rodney McKay, whom zombies did not touch because of the imposed protection, hiding the energy of a living creature.

I waited another five minutes, and then I appeared beside my priest.

“I'm here.” I said cheerfully, looking around. “Where's everyone?”

“Imhotep!” Rodney rushed to me. “Were they all killed?!!”

“Who? Are you killed all zombies?” I made an uncomprehending face.

“No. Them! They're dead. These things ate them alive, leaving not even bones.”

“I gave you a weapon.”

“We were mobbed. I don't know why, but these things don't touch me. And everyone else... they died. Radek, John, Elizabeth - everyone!!!”

“Quiet. All we need is to load the saved game.”

“What?” McKay's face expressed the utmost degree of freaking out.

"I will revert back the time, and you will try to survive until I return. Good luck.”

In this I plunged McKay into unconsciousness, destroyed all the zombies and dispersed the souls of the ghosts. After that I just had to retrieve the unconscious human bodies from the fuinjutsu, bringed their body in 'initial' state, gave everyone a shotgun and put them in the right places and poses. Then all of them at once 'woke up' and began to discuss what happened.

This time, all the 'players' immediately resorted to the most effective tactics. They took a comfortable place, gave time to rest to each other, did not allow to take weapons of those who did not know how to handle it. The team lasted three hours, and then because of one mistake, undead 'killed' just four fighters, and zombies 'ate' all the other in a couple of minutes.

Rodney apprehended this more adequately and immediately started to begging me to 'turn back time'. Well, if the audience is hungry, who am I to say no? They wanted this, didn't they?

After the eighth failure, Rodney met me with the saddest expression on his face.

“Hi, Rodney. Why are you being so gloomy?”

“They all died. It's hopeless. It's just an endless nightmare.”

“Yes, the zombie apocalypse is not a joke.”

“How do we can change that?”

“Why don't you just ask me?”

“What? Can you?”

“Of course. I'm God!”

“Then... return them...”

“To the past time?”

“No!!! Just resurrect them. Can you?”

“Sure I can. But this is not required. They're alive.”

“What?”

Again, I killed all zombies in the area and unloaded all of the 'players' from fuinjutsu seal. They began to recover, looking around.

"In next time if you decide to accuse me of having fun, think about it twice.” I gave the lecture, addressed primarily to Elizabeth Weir. “Honestly, the last couple rounds of fighting against zombies was somehow without a spark. So, I decided to end this game and leave you with these wonderful anti-zombie shotguns as an incentive prize.”

“Game? So, you set this up on purpose?” Weir and everyone else started to understand.

“Not at all. Zombies are real. If I wasn't here, you'd all be dead by now.”

“So, didn't we go back in time?” It finally came to McKay.

“No. And you could figure it out if you looked to the clock in the ancient computer.”

“But... How?”

“Let's discuss it later.” I suggested. “We still have a problem with the reactor, which cannot be turned off, and the crowds of zombies that look like will begin to revive again.”

“Can you save us?” This time, most people looked at me with the expectation of a miracle.

“I have already offered a solution to this problem. I can overload the reactor, it'll blow up and wipe this whole planet to dust. I can teleport you to 'Daedalus', which has been the second day circling the planet, trying to contact you.”

“Nice. Just do it.” Sheppard said.

“Wait! I need to download the data from the ancients' computer.” McKay remembered.

“Are shotguns ready?” I asked the trembling crowd. “We will break our way to the ancients’ computer through the crowd of zombies.”

“Maybe, well, let’s forget about it?” Dr. Zelenka said, each time he found himself 'dead' in the top ten.

“No. Quest number two 'Zombie Apocalypse: the Way to salvation' issued. If you can't get to the ancients’ computer terminal, you'll all die here, and this time I won't resurrect anyone.”

The crowd mobilized, took a marching formation and moved through the corridors of the station, quietly periodically cursing me, McKay, zombies and the Ancients.

The quest was completed successfully, and then I teleported all of them to aboard of the ship 'Daedalus', and leaving in the station my shadow clone. He waited until the ship will depart on safe distance, and then activated the application to overload the reactor. Everything went according to my calculations. The portal closed, and the shock wave from it evaporated the entire planet.

After returning to Atlantis, the members of the expedition for a couple of weeks went like crazy, looking around in search of zombies. The attitude towards me became emphatically respectful and God-fearing. I again plunged into the study of ancient technologies.

I was distracted from this fascinating case of McKay’s moaning about the fact that John Sheppard is transforming into the Iratus bug. I decided to visit the restless leader of the military unit of the mission. He sat in his room, hiding from others his mutated appearance.

“John, John. How did you end up like this?” I asked, appearing in the room.

“Imhotep? What are you doing here?” He turned.

“I thought I'd see you. It's not every day I can see a human transformation into a bug.”

“Can you help me with that?”

“I can. There are several ways.”

“What ways?”

"Well, first, I can speed up your transformation into a Iratus by preserving your memory and your ability to think sensibly.”

“Are you name that as help?”

“Second, I can turn you into a Replicator.”

"Are there a option where I'm just an ordinary human?"

“Yes. Option number three hundred seventy-seven. But it's completely depressing, so I put it at the bottom of the list.”

“Yet I would like to dwell on it.”

“How boring you are. Here, for example, in option two hundred and sixteen I could offer you a transform into demon with dozen of penis-shaped tentacles. Are you interested?”

“No.” John snapped firmly.

“Ehh.” I sighed sadly. “As always. Okay, what have we got here?”

Diagnostic spells gave an interesting picture. The Iratus beetle had mechanisms that allowed them to use someone else's DNA to change its shape and structure of internal organs. It was clearly not a natural formation.

In the DNA of the beetles were seen a 'digital signature' technology of the Ancients. Apparently, one of them decided to conduct an experiment with gene drift, and the DNA complex got into the biosphere of the planet, where he settled in a colony of beetles. Further to this interesting colony came across other Ancient that for fun fed DNA to the beetles. Then the resulting mutants are already on their own initiative devoured a few of the Ancients, and in result came out the Wraith.

Earthlings have created a virus, the main part of which was the same mechanism of gene drift. It had to make changes in the body of the Wraith, turning them into a full-blooded human, but in fact it turned out the infection, acting strictly on the contrary. It replaces all DNA strands with beetles, because this DNA was recognized by the virus as 'native'.

I did not bother with the circulation of mutations around, and took one unmodified cell and using it as a sample, fully restored Sheppard’s body. Magical operation took only ten minutes, after which the major regained consciousness as a full-blooded human.

“Ready. Take a look to the job.” I said to the patient who rushed to the mirror. “And if you want to transform to a penis-shaped tentacle demon - call me at any time.”

“No, thank you. Ordinary human body fine with everything.”

“Too bad. By the way, what were you trying to achieve by creating this virus?”

"I don't really know what the scientists were doing there, but they kind of wanted to create a virus that transform the Wraith into humans.”

“What a nonsense! For such experiments they should be shot. Think about it, the Wraith aren't people. They're beetles pretending to be human. Even if you remove all of the beetle DNA from their bodies, they won't become human. Their brains are sharpened under very different patterns of behavior. They don't even know what is to have sex. They don't have babies, they lay eggs.”

“Well, to be honest, I don't quite understand why we need it.” Sheppard admitted, looking down his pants to check what had happened to his half-meter tentacles. “Weir believes that the Wraith have the same rights as humans.”

“Oh, those humanists. If this continues on, it turns out that the negroes have the same rights as the whites. Anyway, I have an idea. I can create a special bacteria that will live in people's bodies, pretending to be an ordinary ‘E. coli’. But when it gets into the body of the Iratus beetles, they will obey the idea to infect all other beetles in the area. Finally, a month later infected with this bacterium will paralyze, and they will begin to decompose alive, spreading the bacteria in a form that can survive in an adverse environment for hundreds of years.”

“Sounds like a description of some sort of the completely inhumane biological weapons.”

"Well, the Wraith aren't human. They are bugs. Cockroach death to cockroaches. Nobody announces dichlorvos as chemical weapons on the Earth because it is deadly to insects.”

“When you can make this miracle microbe?”

“In a couple of weeks, and civilians don't need to know about this invention. They should not be subjected to moral torment about it. After all, in fact, for the sake of saving the Wraith, they will agree with the destruction of millions of people. Because of this, their conscience does not gnaw. They think it's the Wraith's fault. All politicians have always considered themselves as predators, living at the expense of ordinary people. So, they love Wraith more than humans.”

“Maybe then you'll come up with a microbe against politicians?” John made the request.

“Maybe... sometime later. This question is worth considering.”

“I was joking. It is not necessary” Major backed down.

“I'm not joking.” I smiled a maniacal smile. “But now I have other things to do. I'll see you in a couple of weeks.”

I teleported to the lab chosen by me and reflect on the creation of the plague against Wraith. I think the Ancients have already tried this approach, and have not achieved much effect. So, my plague will change nothing fundamentally .

First, I needed some test subjects. Well, for one worth exploring Wraith technology. I teleported to my ship and went hunting. Searching Wraith hives not taken a lot of time. The Atlantis has a radar, which can detect the movement of ships in hyperspace. I naturally did the same. Flied to the galaxy here and there, I spotted a single Wraith hive, then 'piggybacking'. When the target came out of the jump, I followed and scanned the surroundings. We were in orbit around some agricultural planet. There were no other ships in the area.

The tentacles of my ship swaddled the hive, blocking the work of all the equipment working on the technology of the Ancients. After then tentacles had breached the hive hull, destroying the reactor, the ship become just a big tin can, unable to resist. Paralyzing spells swept through the ship, stunning all Wraiths. After that, I had only to create shadow clones to carry the carcasses to the refrigerator in my 'Grim Reaper', while I myself engaged in the study of technology.

Alas, the technological base of the Wraith disappointed me. They were able to repeat the inventions of the Ancients, but they did not understand anything. After all, they thought like bugs, not on a quantum level. I think the Ancients lost war because they were too advanced. They lacked the same monkey logic to develop the right strategic decision to destroy the Wraith.

Twelve hours later, I destroyed the hive and focused on creating the plague. I had the Mature Wraith, the Wraith larvae, the Wraith eggs, and the Wraith Queen. I immediately created a demonstration film showing the development of the Wraith. Later I'll show it to the people on Atlantis. After such a propaganda move, few people will want to save the lives of these creatures.

There were no problems with creating bacteria that can kill the Wraith, despite all treatment. But on a way of infection had to think more. The Wraith lived in isolated colonies, so I need a way to get the plague to the other ships. And what could be in this role better than the Wraith, actively wanting to spread the plague across the galaxy?

The solution was simple. In the brain of every adult Wraith, there were areas copied from humans but not used by beetles. In particular, it was a center of sexual excitement and pleasure. I have programmed bacteria to the emulation of orgasms and activation of sexual attraction to other Wraith, regardless of their sex. Here's a sodomy. With the development of the disease the seizures of pleasure were becoming stronger, and in the end Wraith will immerse in one endless orgasm and will die experiencing pleasure. This ensured that the vast majority of Wraiths would actively resist to any treatment. Even if they will be cured, they will commit suicide rather than give up the pleasures they have experienced.

After two weeks of experimentation, I returned to Atlantis. John Sheppard was found in the training room, where he was training with Teyla.

“Hi, major. Will you take the order?”

“Imhotep? Hello. Come in. Teyla, that's all for today.”

We went into a private office, where I gave John some voluminous parcels. Inside were plastic containers with hundreds of tiny pills.

“Here. One pill turns a man into a carrier of the plague that kills the Wraith. You don't have to give them to everyone. In a few days, a person will start spreading bacteria and they will pass to other people.”

“Clear. What about the Wraith themselves?”

“As I said, the incubation period is about a month, during which the infection is actively spreading. And then comes death.”

“Nice. Are you sure it's safe for people?”

“Hundred percent sure. I've already tested it on one of the planets. Here's gift for you.” I handed over a pack of CDs.

“What's it? Porn?” John turned them in his hands, looking at the naked wraiths on the cover.

“Almost. The process of reproduction of the Wraith. Don’t watch after having meal, and before meal too.”

“Is that so disgusting?”

“Behold. If you catch someone liking the Wraiths, show them this video. A normal person will then be able to experience only hatred and disgust to these beetles.”

I wasn't exaggerating when I said that. The Wraiths, though they looked like humans, but they were bugs. The Queen laid eggs with the help of an oviduct. After that, worms hatched from them, which fed on organic matter, gradually developing and with each molt acquiring the features of beetles. In the end, quite a large larva was grown and turned into a humanoid creature.

After saying goodbye to Sheppard, I again sat down for the study of ancient technologies. But an hour later I was distracted by a message about the discovery of the SOS signal coming from the ship of the Ancients. I teleported to the bridge and found McKay there.

“Hi Rodney. I have a surprise for you.”

“Not now. I found some strange readings in the Atlantis security system.” The scientist was sitting at the terminal, reading the text messages.

“External signal?”

“Yeah.”

“Asking for help?”

“Yeah.”

"This is the Ancient’s ship, one Aurora. That's what I wanted to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm... all right. So, what did you want to say?”

“That is the ancient ship sent an SOS signal to Atlantis. And if you don't want the Wraith to take it, you should get there before them.”

“Yes! Exactly. I'll report this to Weir.”

McKay ran to overcome bureaucratic obstacles, and I began to prepare my ship for departure. Alas, they refused to my transportation services. Weir decided to fly on the Earthling’s spaceship, who was still in the galaxy. This ship was not the fastest, so I sent my ship under the control of the clone forward, and myself followed McKay, who was part of the main research team.

We reached the ancient ship only on the third day. My clone has already connected to the ship's systems. On board of this broken trough were hundreds of Ancient, underlying in stasis. The Wraiths also found the SOS signal. That's just they got to the ship in just a few hours, so they had time to assess the situation and decided to plow the Ancient to upgrade their hyperdrives.

They created a virtual reality, connected the crew to it, erased their memory of what happened to them after the last battle, and then inspired them that they urgently need to return to Atlantis, which requires upgrading the ship's engine.

Earthlings arrived to the purpose of travel, destroyed the Wraith scout, and then Sheppard's team teleported to the ship. Almost immediately, the radar showed that are coming two ships of the Wraith. McKay tried to contact the Ancients by sending major Sheppard into their virtual reality. But the common stupidity of the whole operation and the lack of time led only to the fact Earthlings decided to destroy ancient ship, otherwise Wraith will obtain ship.

All this time I watched the actions of the Earthlings from the outside, without interfering in their actions. And just as they were about to enter the self-destruct code into Aurora's computer, I stopped them.

“Sheppard, on this moment your mission is completed.” I said to the major, who was trying to press the buttons on the keyboard. Alas, he did not succeed, because the terminal was blocked.

“What? Wait. This thing is not working. McKay?”

“It is not working because I blocked it.”

“But why?”

“You are going to destroy a ship with hundreds of Ancients on the board.”

“But the Wraith will get them.”

“It wouldn't have happen if you'd accepted my help. So, tell Weir and Caldwell that because of their greed and arrogance, they have denied themselves access to ancient technology. Which once again proves that they are simply incompetent in making such decisions. Bye.”

With that, I teleported John Sheppard and Rodney McKay aboard of Daedalus. A second later, the Ancient ship’s turned on a shield powered by ZPM. The Wraith ships came out of hyperspace, but before they could get their bearings, my 'Grim Reaper' appeared on the scene. Only a few shots was enough to completely wipe Wraith hives, after which the grasping tentacles of the ship reached out to the 'Aurora'.

“Colonel Caldwell talking to you.” The commander of the 'Daedalus' contacted me. “Thanks for your help.”

“No need to thank.” I answered. "Consider the ancient ship as destroyed. If it wasn't me here, your incompetence would have led to loss of ship. So, I'm confiscating this ship. Farewell.” Then my ship entered into hyperspace, taking the ancient cruiser with it.

Lying in stasis Ancients, were not in the best degree of preservation. Although they were nominally immortal, this was achieved through the use of regenerating capsules. Goa’ulds used this technology in their sarcophagus. On the same ship such equipment was not exist. Stasis, although it slowed the life of the Ancients, did not stop it completely, so now the entire crew was on the verge of death from old age.

I contacted them, described the situation, and offered to arrange a small exchange. They gave me their knowledge, and I will repair their ship, install shields powered by ZPM, and create for them a beautiful virtual reality in which they could live for more than one hundred years.

In general, the catch from this event was not so big. These Ancients were mostly military and ordinary civilians. But one of the crew turned out to be a scientist who developed a new technology of energy shields. It has never even been tested in reality. With him I was able to bring it to mind, after which the shields of my ship became absolutely impenetrable.

After that, I returned to Atlantis, where I again engaged in research, carefully ignoring all the problems of other residents of the city. Weir and Caldwell, of course, took offense at me. First of all, because of Jack O'Neill, when he found out about their actions, issued to everyone a reprimand and threatened to dismiss, demote and tear their body to pieces, if they will continue to not listen my advices.

Meanwhile, my 'Wraith plague' was unexpectedly effective. There were reports from all over the galaxy that the Wraiths were dying on an industrial scale. Sheppard, of course, told them who was behind of all this, for which he was reprimanded by Weir and thanked by O'Neill. Knowledge of the cause of the disease was decided to keep secret from everyone.

And then, just a week later, Jack O'Neill got in touch with me, using his pocket radio. On Earth began epidemic plague of Ori, that people raze could not cure. It was then that Jack remembered my talents in infecting the Wraith with the plague. So, I am flying to Earth.

“Hi. You still alive?” I turned to the audience, being in the meeting room at the Stargate on Earth.

“Imhotep!” Samantha Carter greeted me, jumping up from her chair.

“Don’t count on it.” General Hank Landry, who replaced Jack O'Neill in the troublesome post of Stargate program Manager, answered the question.

Daniel Jackson and Cameron Mitchell, the current head of SG-1, were also present. Teal'c was not to be seen again.

“How are you?”

“It's bad.” Samantha Reported. “We have more than eight thousand infected. There are cases in Canada, Mexico, France, Germany and Africa.”

“Only eight thousand? Then there's nothing to worry about.” I reassured them. “There are seven billion of you.”

“If this goes on, billions will die.” Hank Landry said. “And governments will fall.”

“So that's what bothering you? Falling of the governments? All right, show me the patients, and I'll see what I can do.”

They leaded me the infirmary, where they offered to wear a suit of biological protection.

“I don't need that thing.” I refused. “I'm God. Dirt does not stick to Mastercam.”

“Are you sure?” The doctor asked in doubt.

“Miss it.” General Landry ordered.

I went to the ward and began to diagnose the sick. Although stupid Americans shouted about the evil virus, in reality the cause of the disease was bacteria. Except it wasn't a common bacterium. Each cell of this plague had a projection on the astral plane.

It could be said that every bacterium was ascended. Or that these are the cells of the body of one ascended, turned his body into single-celled bacteria. In the astral dimension distance was rather relative value, so that this 'spraying' of his body throughout the galaxy didn't look impossible.

Actually, any medical treatment did not help. Each cell of the plague could vary widely, plus, if necessary, could use magic. The presence of a common astral body allowed to transfer immunity to drugs from one cell to another.