I saw two ways to get rid of this disease. The first is to develop a specific drug that allows to destroy these bacteria, no matter how they change. But it was boring. The second way was much more interesting. It was possible to influence the very astral essence of the plague. As experiments have shown, it was necessary to deprive the bacteria of connection with the 'higher forces', after that the body immunity can destroyed them in just a few minutes.

To develop a way to counter the Ori plague, I need to investigate the ascendeds of this galaxy. Since the Ori themselves were not here, the only contenders were the ‘priors’ - their priests.

“To create a cure for the plague, I need to meet with one of the priors.” I gave an opinion.

"We can take you to one of the worlds where they preach.” Mitchell suggested.

“Also, it is desirable that the prior had volunteered to cooperate.”

“That's more complicated.”

“Contact to Teal'c.” I commanded. “He knows where to get such a prior.”

“Teal'c? Good. Are you sure?” Mitchell asked suspiciously.

“Of course I'm sure.”

“Why.. ?”

“Silence. Do it as Imhotep say.” General Landry interrupted his subordinate. Apparently, he already knew that the more they has doubt in me, the more destructive forms take my jokes.

Six hours later, I met with Gerak, one of the members of the Jaffa Council, who became prior. We met in Dakar - sacred planet of Jaffa created by Goa’ulds. The meeting was scheduled in a wooded area near a small lake. With me was only Teal'c, looking to me as a wolf and refusing to speak. Apparently, he's still sulking that I blew off his sincere faith in me.

“Your choice is correct. There's no need to fight a hopeless battle.” Gerak greeted his compatriot. Teal'c lured him to this planet under the pretext of negotiations.

“Better bow to the tyrants?” Teal'c replied. The two Jaffa continued a long-standing debate about whether to worship the Ori.

“I assure you, the Ori are not goa’ulds.” Gerak replied.

"Ori, of course, gods. But worshiping them is meaningless.” I intervened in this conversation, coming out of the bushes.

“Who are you?” Gerak looked at me warily.

"I am Imhotep, God of knowledge and replicators, and I am no less divine than the Ori.”

"The Ori are true gods. They lead people on the path of enlightenment.” Prior began to utter memorized phrases.

“They're using people as fodder.” I protested. “Because they feed on their faith. You're like pigs in a barn to them. No one will bring a pig into the house and sit at the table next to him. All the promises of the Ori about ascending is a lie.”

"Your blasphemy will not diminish my faith. You did not see the wonders as I saw them.” Gerak protested.

"I've seen more miracles than you can imagine. I am miracle. I can control elements, light and darkness. I can heal and raise the dead. Distance is not an obstacle for me. I could be on the other side of the galaxy without using the ancient stargate, and what kind of tricks Ori have shown to you?”

At the same time with my speech I went up in the air, surrounded myself with fire and darkness, and in the end I teleported us from the forest to the other side of the planet into the desert.

“You... how did you do that?” The prior could not believe his eyes. He bent down and take bunch of sand under his feet.

“I'm God! At least for primitive creatures like you. The Ori are powerful, but even they would bow to me if they saw me.”

“It... it...” Victim of verbiage could not find the words.

"I know you're looking for salvation because you're afraid of dying of old age.” I continued the pressure. “I can give you back your youth. Unlike the empty Ori promises, I can fulfill my promises with a slight wave of my hand. You know Goa’uld Lord Yu? I returned the youth to his carrier. Teal'c saw him and can confirm my words.”

Teal'c nodded silently.

“Youth? Will you really make me young?”

“Yeah. But only on one condition.”

“What condition?” Gerak’s eyes became infected with hope, greed and desire to live.

“I'll use your connection to the Ori to talk with them. You will witness my conversation and will find out what the Ori really are.”

“I agree. What should I do?”

“Nothing. Just don't fight me.”

I waved my hand majestically as we teleported to my spaceship. Here I sat Gerak in a special chair that supports life and has a magical protection. I stood in front of him.

For beginning, I studied the mechanism of communication priors with God. There was nothing new. The same technology I had received from Orlik. It was a typical relationship for pumping Bahion, but still not of the best quality. Energy loss on transferring was more than thirty percent.

Slightly more interesting was the 'spells' on his sub-consciousness and prior’s staff working on Bahion. I studied them and focused on the connection with his god. I was going to send my shadow clone to the Ori galaxy. Distance didn't matter for the clone when using Hiraishin, but needed a special label at the point of destination. To send label there, I created a simple construct from Bahion, put a chakra seal on it, and then put this thing in the communication channel.

Just five minutes later, I felt my mark unfold and fixate on the human body. I created a shadow clone, and clone 'jumped' to the mark.

My clone arrived to the hall next to the prior of the Ori. Before me blazed the fire, which was clearly created with spell based on Bahion.

“Who are you?” The prior stared at me in fright as I inspected the room. Here everything shone with luxury and pretentiousness. There was no one else in the room.

“I want to talk to the Ori. Call them.” I ordered at the same time imposing genjutsu on Prior. I was not a great expert in this direction, but it was quite easy to inspire confidence in myself.

“I won't. Ori, please protect me!” Prior from something unknown reasons hit in panic. At the same time he called his gods, and they focused their attention on him. That is, exactly, what I needed.

“Who are you?” This time the voice came from a spiritual entity using the prior as its projection.

"I am Imhotep, God of knowledge and replicators.”

"Only the Ori are true gods!" My interlocutor shouted back.

“You're not gods. You're just food for my pet.” I was used chakra to strengthen my voice. As a result, my almost whispering was deafening. "You invaded my galaxy and organized your cult there without asking my permission. What do you have to say for your excuse?”

The Ori didn't speak and tried to influence the clone with Bahion spell. But I have foreseen such option, so that the clone has been surrounded by a special barrier that protected it from such influences, including in multidimensional space.

"As I see, you persisting in your heresy.” I frowned. “I'm warning you for the last time. If you do not bow before me, I will send him after you.”

With these words I have created with genjutsu to the prior’s mind scene, where my parasite devoured Anubis. This had great effect. Similar to ascended from the Pegasus galaxy, the Ori have fallen into a holy terror too only from mentioning this creature.

"Oh, great messenger of the Unnamed. Please show mercy! I bow to your authority.” That's different. Now I feel like a God. “We only obey the order of the representatives of Light. The ancients must be destroyed.”

“Then do it. I am asking you, how you dare to create your heretical cult in my galaxy? Don't tell me you were ordered to do that too.”

"Wise Imhotep, we only try to fulfill the will of the Light as best as we can. Without the organization of the cult we will not gain enough strength to destroy the Ancients.”

“You're interfering me” On this prior only bent down in a bow. "I will give you my permission to act through the priors if you tell me how the Ori society works in your galaxy. Who rules you, what tasks you face and e.t.c. Put that knowledge into your prior's head.”

"Aye, great one.” The prior bowed again after a few seconds of deliberation. “I've done your order.”

I immediately put the priest to sleep, and then broke into his mind, reading the memory. The information was quite unusual. The Ori were a kind of shepherds or even milkmaids, whose duty was to organize cults of self-worship. They collected Bahion, and then sent it to their 'patrons'. They could have kept to themselves the same one percent. That energy was not enough, so that the wonders of these 'gods' have made in a strictly limited scale.

The most interesting part was information about the 'Representatives of Light'. They were the ones who ascended the first Ori, gave the Ancient Knowledge of the Ascension. In addition to the tribute in the form of Bahion, the authorities demanded that the Ori once in several tens of years to send one of them 'to serve'. No one knew what was going on with these chosen ones, because none of them came back to tell about it. 'Representatives of the Light' to all questions, as a rule, answered with blow to the brain and the instruction that your business - to obey orders, and thinking or knowing something you are not supposed to. I also learned a few names of these representatives, but nothing familiar about them.

"Well, I give you my permission to operate in my galaxy through the priors. But remember, the planet Tauri is under my protection. Don't dare to attack it.”

With these words, I dispelled the clone, becoming not wait for the return of praises. As they say, the picture is clear. The gods were not quite gods, but just another level in the food chain. Although, if you think about it, there is nothing surprising in this. Even on my Land was known Hermes Trismegistus phrase: ‘As Above, So Below’. If in the material world everything is run by muggers and thieves, why else should it be in the spiritual world? If animals and plants are food for humans, then humans are food for someone else.

I concentrated on my physical body and on Gerak before me. Thanks to my little manipulation, he could perceive the thoughts of the prior who had dedicated him.

“How low we have fell to listen to the words of these deceivers.” He exclaimed. "The Ori is the name of the most miserable creatures in the world. Imhotep, I thank you for opening my eyes. And now, are you giving me youth?”

Who about what, but lousy about the bath. I casted a healing spell that is within a few minutes healed Jaffa’s body to optimum condition. He began to look about forty, but for Jaffa it was youth. Indeed, thanks to Goa’uld in his intestines they lived two or three hundred years.

When I was finished, I teleported Gerak and Teal’c back to the planet, and I flew to Earth. There I appeared in General Landry's office.

“Hank, I'm ready to give you the cure for the Ori plague, but there's a question of payment.”

“What do you want?” The General asked meekly.

“Ori’s Ship. In the future, these gods will try to come here by ships. I want you to give me one of them.”

“If it's in our power...”

“You don't have to capture them by yourself. Just give me permission to take the ship.”

“Ok. All Ori ships belongs to you.” Landry agreed.

“Nice. I'll bring you the device in a couple of hours.”

I teleported to my ship, leaving the General to think what that it actually all meant.

The changes in the plot of this universe caused by me were quite large, but all of them were united by one thing - I did not act as an independent force. I only helped other figures, giving them all the 'fruits' of my labors. In the future, I was going to take one of the Ori ships for research, but it might look like an open attack to one side. I planned to pretend that it was not I am who decided to confiscate the ship, but the earthlings did it, and then they gave the ship to me. Thus, from the point of view of the rules, I personally did not interfere in the balance of power. Earthlings gifted ship to me.

The device for healing the Ori plague I assembled on the basis of ancient technology. This helped me research into the nature of the assumption, existing in the Ancient database on Atlantis. I think my device was supposed to be a weapon against the Ori, invented by Merlin. Only it was much weaker for the real ascended and no threat presented. But the plague cells from the effects will lose all his divinity, after which the plague was not more dangerous than the common cold.

When I returned to Earth, I decided give the device to Jack O'Neill, who was sitting in his Royal residence.

“Hey, Jack. How are you?” I turned to the local king of the planetary scale.

“Oh! Hi Imhotep. Not complaining. Come with what?”

“Take this.” I gave Jack a device that resembled a 'red button' for launching missiles.

https://sophosnews.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/launch-button-250.jpg

“What is it?”

“A device that turns off the Ori plague.”

“And how to use it?”

“Follow the instructions on the hull.”

“Aha... familiar design. One-two... three and four.” The red light on the device flickered and went out.

“Ready. Now the whole Earth is cleared from the virus. The device will be ready for re-use in 24 hours.”

“Thank you. You saved us.” Jack thanked me.

“By the way, I wanted to ask. As in agreement, Thor was appointed as head of the galaxy. How could he allow Ori to send their priors to the planets and infect them with the plague?”

“Honestly? I don't know. We didn’t hear any new about Thor in a long time. Even pathetic goa’ulds more useful.”

“Okay, I'll have to figure it out on my own. Why aren't you at the Stargate?”

“I am bored there in the last time. They are not allow me to go on missions, and I didn’t like to be head of Stargate. So, here I am, the Palace was built for me, and I have harem.”

“Harem? Whoa! Can I envy to you already?”

“Yeah, it's about time.”

“Haha. Well, good luck with that. I'll go check on Thor.”

“Farewell.”

I teleported to my ship and tried to communicate with Thor using the Asgard communications system. Five minutes later he responded.

“Hi, Thor. I need to talk to you.” I cheerful greeted another game figure.

“Talk.” There was a deep depression in Thor's voice.

“Personally.” I said.

“No. What do you want?” He is rude by time.

"Why do the Ori priors walk through your galaxy as if they were at home?"

“Because they can to unravel any Asura easily with a wave of hands.”

“Really? That's interesting. Have you tried to use ranged attacks?”

“Tried. But the range of priors ability exceeds ten thousand kilometers. They are able to throw me out of my body, even if I sit on my ship in orbit of the planet. And to get the body back I have to wait a few hours, after which the exorcism procedure is repeated.”

“Amusingly.”

“It's not very amusingly for me.”

“I need to watch exorcism process in live.”

“I don't need.” Thor cut off.

“Are you being rude to me? Are you think I can't find you and tear you to pieces?”

“Uh... sorry. What did you want?” Thor retreated.

“I want to see how prior will unravel you in front of me.”

“Could it be another Asuras?

“M-m-m... okay, fine.”

“He'll meet you at these coordinates.”

With these words, Thor sent me the coordinates to the planet and broke the connection. So, I think I need to do something to make Thor's deep depression even deeper. And I think I already have an idea.

I went to on the specified coordinates and met there Asuras. Together we approached the prior on one of the planets, and I was able to witness the 'miracle' of the exorcism. Ori used the fact that the soul of the Asuras held on to the physical body much weaker. In addition, I created the Asuras, using as a standard of ordinary people and 'natural' spiritualized replicators. They had close to zero resistance to any astral effects. In past I did not expect that my creations will face someone with magic, even if such a flawed as the Ori have.

In principle, of course, it was possible to fix this problem, but for this it was necessary to redo everything from scratch. But there was another way that fitted in perfectly with my plan to get Thor. When I developed the Jotuns, I copied their spirit shells from the ascended ones, so Loki and his brothers must have been immune to the effects. And since Thor screwed up, we should let Loki take power over this galaxy. I will let him rule.

Having made this decision, I went to the galaxy of Hades. When I arrived there, Loki was speaking to the high Council of the Jotuns, rubbing something into his countrymen. I waited until the end of his speech, and then teleported directly to the podium.

“Greetings, Loki.”

“Oh! Imhotep. Haven't seen you in a while. I greet you on behalf of all Jotuns and asgards.”

“I have a little request for you.”

“Of course. I am listening.”

"Your brother Thor is having trouble keeping order in the milky way galaxy. I want the Jotuns to expand their habitat area and to include this galaxy under authority. You are instructed to establish law and order there.”

“What about all of the 'higher powers'?” Loki asked.

"At the moment, there is an empty place in the space of power in this galaxy that you can take. But I warn you, do not try to destroy anyone and particularly to subdue. For one, you will need to get rid of the parasites that are there bred. They are called themselves as Ori. Well, you'll figure them out.”

“What about Thor? I don't think he'll be happy if we arrive there.”

"To prevent his desire to rebel, I can give you the ability to knock out the souls from the Asuras bodies. It turns them into frozen statues. You can catch Thor in a moment of extreme rage, then knock him out of his body and keep the statue in the Museum.”

“Ha-ha. Sounds fun. Well, I think the Council can take responsibility for another one galaxy.” Listening us Jotuns mumbled that they would.

“Perfect. Then I'll expect good news from you.”

I formed an information packet and handed it to Loki. It described a method of training by which the Jotuns could develop in their astral bodies the ability to influence the astral bodies of other beings. On this I teleported to my ship and returned to Atlantis.

The next time I was distracted from my research, I received information from the Earthmen's computers that they were going to stop the Ori fleet from passing through the super-gate. I immediately rushed to the Earth, where I loaded Jack O'Neill on board of my ship. With him I flied to the super-gate, where already gathered a ships fleet of Earthlings, Jaffas and the Jotuns.

“Imhotep, welcome.” The commander of the Earthlings ship contacted me. My ship had an easily recognizable shape, so it was easy to guess who made them happy with their presence. “You decided to help us?”

“I'm afraid not. I'm here in case if you all get killed.”

“That doesn't sound very hopeful.”

“But it's true. Has everyone written their will?”

“This is General Jack O'Neill.” My passenger introduced himself. “Inform all ships, that in case of significant superiority of the enemy forces, you must immediately leave the battlefield. Keep the engines ready.”

“Yes, sir.”

Meanwhile, the Stargate activated and opened a huge portal with a diameter of more than five hundred meters. Came another ship of the Earthmens, and then from the gate passed one after the other were four ships of the Ori. One of them sent a text message to us:

-'Those who refuse to bow their heads will be mixed with dust.'

Daniel gave response from his ship with phrase from the 'Ori Scriptures':

-'Then said Theol to the people of the plains. Don't look for filth in the neighborhood. Otherwise, it may come to your house.'

In response to this heresy, the Ori began to charge the guns.

- ‘Pay your taxes and sleep well.' I decided to contribute to galactic diplomacy.

After that, Ori thought for at least a minute, giving the opportunity to arrive three Goa’ulds Hat’ak. Finally, their ships have delivered the message:

- 'The Ori mission is sacred. Their will is above all.'

The exchange of pleasantries ended and the exchange of shots began. The Ori immediately showed that their strength had not diminished since the war with the Ancients. Their weapons could destroy Hat’ak with one or two shots. The ships of Earthmen and Jotun held better, but not much. At the same time, the shots of the allied fleet slid helplessly over the shields of the Ori ships.

Within thirty seconds it became clear who will be the winner in this battle. After that, all remaining ships escaped into hyperspace. Only a dozen Jotun ships remained, determined to fight to the last. They managed by Jotuns, for whom death was only small temporary inconvenience.

I hung quietly in the side watching the fight. The Ori shot me a couple of times, but then focused on the targets that attacked them.

Finally, the battle died down. Everyone who could, escaped, and near the super-gates were only the ships of the Ori and my 'Grim Reaper'. At that moment, I activated the hyperspace suppression system. The Ori ships tried to retreat to hyperspace, but they found out that it is impossible.

This was where Jack O'neill came out in the unfolding comedy of the absurd.

"This is Jack O'Neill, king of Tauri." He announced on the video channel. “You illegally crossed the border of my galaxy. In this regard, you will be charged a road tax of twenty-five percent of the value of imported valuables. Give me possession of one of the ships, or you will hang forever in this area of space. In case of resistance, you will be destroyed.”

The Ori fell silent for five minutes, trying to activate the hyperdrive. Finally, they got tired of it, and they decided to fly in different directions on impulse engines to go beyond the range of the suppressive device.

"I bring it to your attention that the area of the hyperspace suppression extends for three light-years.” Jack started broadcasting again. “If you do not pay the fee in one hour, you will be destroyed.”

After that, the ships turned around and opened fire to us. But my shields, reinforced by the latest developments of the Ancients and fed by a thousand ZPM, withstood this attack with a load of less than one percent. The battle continued for five minutes, then they stopped.

“Should I take your behavior as aggression?” King of the Tauri turned on his trolling skill.

This time we received a direct video link with one of the priors, the leader of the invasion fleet.

"How dare you to resist the will of the Ori?" Prior protested.

“According to article three hundred and twenty-nine of the consolidated code of laws of the milky way galaxy, you have agreed to the terms of service of the Stargate system, passing through the stargate, located in our galaxy. This imposes on you the obligation to comply with the requirements of article one hundred and twelve of the code. In the case of transportation of elements of space technology through the gate, you must notify the responsible structures at least thirty days in advance. Also, you must pay a tax of twenty five percent of the value of the goods not later than three days before the use of the gate.” Jack continued to broadcast burnout bureaucrat voice. “We've detected a violation of the regulations...”

“Enough!!!” The prior shouted, assuming that this speech would not end in the next half hour.

“Are you ready to pay the tax?” Jack asked, as if nothing had happened.

“No!”

"In that case, I must inform you that under article three hundred and seventy-seven of the code, you will be destroyed and your bodies will be fed to the pigs, so that your spirit may not ascend into the Ori halls, but fall into eternal darkness. Do you agree to the terms?”

“NO!!!” The prior shouted, losing his patience.

“Too bad. This adds to your guilt that under article two hundred and one of the code leaves me with no choice but to start eating your brains out by quoting the provisions and articles of the consolidated code of laws of the Milky Way galaxy until your death from catatonic stupor.”

In response, the prior, and it went off the video.

“Well, how did I do it?” Jack asked me, finishing read the text on a screen monitor.

“Impressive. I think this prior has a nervous breakdown. Having a big plans to colony another galaxy, but to fall into a bureaucratic trap because of non-payment of taxes. I think when he realizes that even the Ori are forced to follow some incomprehensible laws, his faith in the gods will be shaken.”

Meanwhile, the Ori ships started firing again.

“I will do a warning shot. Please be informed that damaged goods will not be accepted as a tax payment.” Jack said.

About two hundred guns of my ship fired simultaneously into one of the Ori ships. Its shield absorbed most of the energy, but failed and the remnants of the volley damaged the hull. Explosions and fires began in the interior, and some parts were decompressed.

This time the Ori fleet got in touch first.

“We accept your terms. Please give us time to evacuate the crew. The prior spoke in a frightened voice.”

“You have five minutes.” Jack replied. “And keep in mind that a hyperspace suppress will be canceled only after signing the act of transfer of material values. And do not try to take from the ship something other than personal belongings of the crew or somehow damage it. I remind you that the damaged goods as payment of the tax will not be accepted.”

“Yeah, sure. We will.”

My 'Grim Reaper' flew up to the specified ship and braided it with its tentacles. After that, I teleported there my shadow clone, which directly connected to the main processor of the computer and intercepted the control of the ship.

Finally, after half an hour of checking, I made sure that the Ori ship would not explode at the most inopportune moment, and gave the command to Jack to complete this farce.

“All right. You should have received a notarized copy of the tax payment.” He said. At that moment I teleported to the table in front of the head prior a colorful piece of paper with signatures, seals and holographic stickers. “I ask you not to lose this document as it can be necessary to you in case of carrying out checks. We wish you all the best and ask you not to violate the rules, regulations and restrictions established by the code. You're free to go.”

After these words in prior’s face appeared sense of huge relief. I turned off hyperspace suppress, and the Ori ships were gone in a second. I created even more clones and sent them to explore my new property.