It didn't take long before the hero encountered his first trap. It was a piece of paper that had 'this side up' written on both sides.

This would take all of the hero's intelligence to solve. He might be here for several hours.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I'm not going to keep turning this page all damn day. The only way to solve this puzzle is through non participation. Like with any D&D session that goes on for more than a few weeks and monogamous relationships.”

The hero flies his freak flag rather high these days.

“Well, you were such a useful role-model that I made certain to start doing the opposite of whatever the hell track you were on. No sense in being the lifelong doormat of a wife that doesn't need or want him. Or you know, play D&D.”

…

…

…

“Dude, not cool” said the dungeonless dragon.

“Guess I went a bit too real there. I'm sorry.”

It's euhm... it's alright, hero. Tact or intellect was never your strong suit. Now let's continue on with your adventure.

DING New Achievement.

Level. 11.141592

STRENGTH: 0

INTELLIGENCE: 0

AGILITY: 0

DEXTERITY: 0

LUCK: +/- 223.5

READERS: 99 (One was disgusted by the use of the word dungeonless as he was a dungeonsexual.)

ACHIEVEMENTS:

'Oh you lucky so and so.' - S

'Innate asshole' - SSS

'I'm a kitchensink, daddy!' S

Slayer of children – Too Common, it's sad, really.

Kind of a dick. - D

ABILITIES:

'Pelvis thrust' – Minor failure.

'Pelvic barrage' – Failure.

'Pelvic barrage-aga' – Grand Failure.

'P-p-p-elvic-c-c barrage-agaagagagagagagaaaaaaa' – Abject Failure.

“And what does this one do?”

Makes the hero more capable when holding any objects related to his personality. It gives the lightshaker +2 against dragons.

The dragon woke up from his NPC slumber and protested: “Hey now, what the hell did I do?”

Extra damage rolls against enemies usually are against dragons as youthful D&D players want cool nicknames as dragonslayer, dragonslayen't, dragondefeat and eventually dragon's bitch with additional black collar.

“As a hero and a mother who is also a true patriot because her husband fought in a war killing children and defenceless old people, I have to say that this D&D sounds more and more like light BDSM role-play. Could we just not do that? Maybe find a more wholesome purpose for it instead?”

Nothing more wholesome than culling the herd, young hero. You process the old people into a leather jacket, the young ones into a lame star wars reference and, hello there, you are.

“Well, a leather jacket made from renewable resources is indeed quite wholesome. I can see why you would say that.”

Suddenly, or not suddenly as every booktuber hates the word suddenly for some reason, so gradually and while taking it's darn time, and using way too many comma's which is also not done in contemporary writing, the word “WARNING” flickered in and out of existence in the sky in big, red letters. But because too many adjectives also makes for bad writing, the letters are just red or big. You'll have to choose. Although small letters in the sky might not be readable, and without the colour red it lacks a certain rien de rien. Non, je ne regrette rien. Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait. Ni le mal. Tout ça m'est bien égal.

“Channeling your inner Édith Piaf there, son?”

This narrator has no idea what just happened.

The red letters stopped pulsating like a washing machine about to finish it's last cycle and the sky broke apart with a black crack.

Through the crack two men appeared who were slapping one another in a feeble attempt for dominance. As they slowly fell down to earth the fourth wall sighed and rubbed it's forehead.

“Now look what you've done. I told you not to break the fourth wall too much. Now this world and the real world are trying to merge. And if they do, then you're all screwed.”

Lightshaker in hand, the hero trembled as he awaited the two fighters of the other world.

The first fighter was balding and wore a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. “I'm telling you William, your operating system is used only by nerds and weebs to do their taxes and download porn. Real men use mine to download furry hentai, I mean to make songs and other creative stuff.”

The second fighter adjusted his spectacles and snarled deeply. Like a kitten would if it had a breathing problem and bad owners. “We both know you only use a mac if you have no self-respect. There's a reason your last name matches the economic status of most of your users, which is unemployed.”

Should the narrator bring back the attribution tags? There's several people now and they all sound like white males in their late fifties.

“I'm not that old. Seriously. Still, can't you just add a defining word in their sentences? Most people will know I'm the hero because of my down to earth nature and good looks. But maybe add a bit of flavour in the other two's output?”

“NARF, William, what is this microsoft user talking about?”

“POINT, no idea Adam. Also, he lacks the braincells for a input device that has more than one key. Clearly a mac user.”

“That's a little on the nose, isn't it?”

The hero had requested it. Perhaps he has a different Solution for this?

“Maybe like a harrowing grunt before every sentence? A deep sigh?”

“NARF. That's even worse, it makes us sound like we're in a lamaze class.”

The fourth wall decided to not grunt or sigh this time and just make his presence known by being awesome.

“There's clearly only one way to deal with this mess. One of you is going to go back into the real world and the other can stay to offset the amount of fourth wall breaking.”

Both fighters looked at the fourth wall and then back to the hero. More precisely to the hero's weapon in his hands.

“NARF. This is all on you William. I've never seen a more obvious microsoft user in my life. Bye everyone.”

“POINT, you get back here you little bitch. I'm not going to do all the work again while you go off and smoke a cone. You filthy degenerate!”