《Jonny the Fool. :Part of the Legendary Interviews》Chapter 1 Jonny hero of the hour and fool of the century.
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Jonny woke up that morning the same way he woke up most mornings. To a dog barking and the car door slamming of his neighbors home care nurse arriving to take care of the old widow.
He wasn't exactly angry at this point because the Dayren the nurse always arrived at 8:15 witch Jonny considered the perfect time to get up shower and cook a simple breakfast before heading out to work at the Ol Lucky New Coin casino.
Where he was aloud to make a fool of himself at the large game wheel and try and attract customers to spin big before he would be forced to read out the bingo games held in the evenings.
He would still do that acting like a fool but it was harder to keep up the energy and the old people seamed to dislike it after the first hour or so. Though he did have his fans and when they won everyone liked to be cheered on.
Getting out of bed and heading to the shower Jonny once again thought about maybe actually trying to be a real game show host instead of just dancing in front of a room full of old people and stoners trying to get grandma to let go of her pills so they could get some.
But the money was good. too good it didn't take him long to figure out that having a guy who goes around yelling and some times dancing around the place would serve as a good distraction when the undercover cops, the gaming commission, the irs, or one time even rival gangs showed up.
Turning on the shower making sure it was nice and hot to help wake him up Jonny thought that being a living alarm system while pretending to be a game show host was a pretty good gig. especially for a guy who wanted the attention but couldn't act well enough to get a gig and wasn't funny enough for stand up.
He looked it up once and he was making more then the average actor not that was saying much these days.
And then there where the thousands of people who said or thought they where actors but really just working in coffee shops and fighting for there big break there shot where they become the next big thing.
No Jonny was lucky he had an uncle who helped run the Ol' lucky both in the official and the back room deals and it wasn't like he wasn't useful. not after Jonny had single handedly and "accidentally" of course thwarted 3 separate attempts at raids by people spying or going where they shouldn't.
Finishing off the shower and drying himself off Jonny started planning what he was going to have to eat.
He made himself some lovely mushroom omelet with freshly sliced bell peppers and just a little sprinkling of bacon.
Jonny like to think he wasn't exactly a criminal he was just a man doing his job and his job was to let the owners know when someone was poking around where they shouldn't be.
Besides its not like drugs where all that bad hell most were slowly becoming legal anyway they nearly took a loss on Marijuana when it first became legal but with a little twist and a new drink on the menu it was surprising how many people wanted to keep going to those dark dank dingy back rooms and by "the good shit" and it was really no surprise that the older people had no troubles guzzling "calming lady marry's tea" and they where warned before hand so it wasn't like anyone was being tricked.
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No Jonny wasn't a criminal he just believed in freedom with half the shit found in food these days meth was just a few steps away.
Jonny savored the first bite of his omelet then quickly finished off the plate cleaned it and the rest of the dishes then got dressed in his golden suit adjusted his sequined golden bow tie and headed to his car.
He would have driven a prius or an ecco-stallion, but his uncle had given him a black El Camino with racing stripes and flames coming off the front wheels. It was ridiculous and not at all what he wanted in a car. but still he got tears in his eyes and could only look at his uncle in shock when he saw it.
When Jonny was 8 years old his dad had given him a toy one just came home with it once day to surprise him. He loved it it was like a truck and a car had a kid it didn't even know what it was but itself. He brought it everywhere he could with him and even used to fight kids on the playground for calling it stupid.
When his dad died 2 years latter Jonny saw people leaving things in his dads coffin. Things to take with him they said so Jonny gave his dad back the car he loved so much.
His uncle put a hand on Jonny s shoulder and gave it a squeeze nodding tears nearly welling up in the big mans eyes when he did.
But on the day before Jonny turned 21 his uncle Drew showed up and stayed the night trying to get Jonny to party or go out drinking offing to take him all sorts of places.
Then half hung over he woke Jonny up at 9am and showed him why he was taking him out all night.
And how could a guy just go and get rid of something like that?
Pelling out of the driveway Jonny heard the yapping dog fade into the distance and tried to put out of his mind the old abended house that was across the street from his, a place that gave him the creeps even as an adult a place he was sure was so run down that not even homeless people would bother to try and sleep in.
Jonny walked into the place with a swagger grinning and looking around scanning for likely marks, or for people looking to make marks out of them.
It was strangely busy for a Wednesday he noticed an older couple looking at the big wheel of fate.
Jonny grinned and got to work.
"hello hello my fine folks looking at the lucky coin are we?" Jonny saw the man flinch at the brightness of Jonny's grin and his suit he decided to pull it back a bit. "it is part of the old west theme in the Ol' Lucky that the wheel is a big coin and around it are the different prizes, it only 10$ a spin and the grand prize is 100... thousand.... dollars." Jonny paused dramatically at the end letting the couple do the math on how little they would spend vs how much they had to gain. "and there is a special rule you could go double for free if you got it on any of the golden numbers. seen a man land on the 1$ go for the double land on the 100 thousand Dollar spot then let the coin take him for another spin and walked away with 200 thousand and 20 dollars." Jonny said and he emphasized the last 20 half as a joke and half as the idea that you didn't reset your winnings when you won.
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Of corse the red markers meant that you lost everything and walked away with nothing to show for it but that was clearly stated in the rules that Jonny just so happen to be standing in front of.
"well what the hell? where just getting started im sure 10$ is just the start of what we’ll be winning today" the older man said as he put in a 10$ chip into the slot beside the wheel and gave it a spin.
Jonny excitedly chanted "big money big money" pumping his fists in a mild thrill of his own watching the big coin spin.
He always got a vicarious thrill waiting on the wheel to land it was the excitement that kept him going, and the real reason he didn't like bingo he had no idea what was going on out in the audience he just called out the numbers blindly.
the coin slowed beginning its final lap around the board and stopped just before the red 0 at the golden 20$ prize.
Jonny let out an exited smile looking over at the couple who where also smiling and the woman was practically jumping up and down.
"well folks? going for another spin? or going to just take the 20 well earned dollars?" Jonny asked making his smile seam more professional than greedy.
"Well I didn't come here for the bathrooms boy" said the man as he stepped up with a grin to spin the wheel again.
Jonny cheered as the wheel spun then nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand landed on his shoulder.
"jeez and crackers." he squealed looking back to see a short plain narrow faced woman with her dark hair in a pointy tail and her plain white button up with slacks hiding as much of her femininity it could and looking apologetic was Sandy.
"Sorry Jonny flight was delayed we got a plane full of seniors who where on a way to a bingo cruse when the storms hit." She said.
Jonny felt his heart sink as behind him the lights flash and the ching ching ching of a big win was followed by the happy couple cheering and celebrating.
Sandy turned red looking away ashamed as the happy couple held each other and jumped for joy. "Sorry..."
She knew how much this part of the job meant to him just like how her show latter in the night meant to her. though he couldn't blame her this was part of the job just like how sometimes she couldn't sing because the got a "real" performer in.
Jonny let out a sigh "lets just get to bingo."
The rest of the day dragged by but quite a lot of the old timers called bingo and most of them seamed happy with Jonny's antics while reading off the numbers with Sandy.
At 2 they took an hour long lunch together eating at the buffet in the casino.
They often ate together mostly because the worked together so often and it was easier to stop the bingo around now to help remind the old people to eat as well.
And sure enough the restaurant was quickly filling up. Luckily they had a privet section for workers.
They had just started eating when Lee who worked entertainment came in.
"Sandy you can go home early tonight. one of the guys who was on the plane was some comedian or something and he said he'd do a show to get a place to stay for the night. So we don't need you to sing." Lee said bluntly.
You could cut Sandy's disappointment with a knife and use it for bricks but she just said "Okay." before looking down and eating.
Lee gave one of those men half nods that seams to say we have nothing to say but I saw you saw me so bye. before heading out.
"Seams like the storms are fucking up everyone's day" Jonny said in sympathy. He knew it was Sandy's dream to play in front of a full house and she was good at it to but not many people cared about the Gottan and the people who did didn't like seeing a Latina woman playing it and her singing songs in French while she played seamed to make some people actively upset.
Jonny had asked her why she didn't just play guitar and she had given the only real answer that mattered. She didn't like playing the guitar she liked her Gotten.
Jonny did see her point there was something about the way the instrument sounded compared to a normal guitar, and French was a lovely language for singing but they both knew it would never really catch on as a combination of things.
"Well it looks like well be getting out at the same time then." Sandy said glancing up at Jonny a little hopefully and added. "Maybe we could grab a drink or something?"
Jonny thought about it he knew Sandy had feelings for him but also knew that her boyfriend who she hadn't seen or herd from in 3 years was fighting over seas and could be dead or could be showing up tomorrow to surprise her.
"...I could go for some ice cream want any?" he asked standing up
she looked back down sadly and shook her head she said "im good but get me some strawberries."
He smiled a little and went to get them some strawberries and ice cream.
It was a good thing he said no because by the end of the night nether of them had really felt like going out.
The long boring string of bingo games seamed to never end and the storms that had ben hitting the coast finally drifted to them and the rain could be faintly heard on the bingo halls big wide windows.
They both nearly just yawned there good nights to each other as they went there separate ways.
The rain was a light mist as Jonny drove home he hadn't realized how bad the storm had really ben it had seamed like just a strong rain and a bit of lighting in the distance. but as he was driving home he could see trees laying near the streets and branches scattered about.
He noticed an orange streak across the road into the old house that seemingly was untouched by the storm. He thought he knew what that streak was and pulling into the driveway he could see the missing boards on the side of the neighbors fence, and the panicked widow standing in her doorway calling out for her dog to come home.
Jonny pulled into his garage and tapped the searing wheel in thought trying to decide if his furry alarm clock was worth nearly dying in an old rickety horror movie reject of a house. but then he heard the old widow sounding sad and almost child like in her pleading for the dog to come home.
With a sigh Jonny got out of his car and quickly changed into his work out clothes and headed out the door to bring back the dog.
The widow next door saw him and looked hopeful but also a little worried like he was just as likely to yell at her to shut up and go into her house or to help her.
"Mr. Bicklesly is in that house." she said pointing at the old run down house across the street.
"I know I saw him run over as I was coming home il go get him back for you just go back inside its still damp out here we wouldn't want you to get sick." Jonny said trying to sound reassuring but seeing how he failed as the old woman gave him a scrutinizing look.
"hes all I have. Mr Bicklesly has survived longer then my last 2 husbands Mr shinny pants I don't know what id do with out him." she blinked slowly as she talked the innocence of elderly shown in her eyes.
Jonny released this must have ben the first time he talked with her since he moved in 4 years ago. he didn't blame her for thinking of him Mr shinny pants.
"il go get him I promise little guy is my alarm clock don't want to sleep in now do I?" he said with a manic grin.
Looking nervus she retreated back into her house closing the door but turning on the porch light behind her.
Jonny let out a long breath checking both ways on the street before jogging over and trying to look for where the little corgi mite have gone walking threw the unkempt lawn hoping that ticks did not thrive in the grass that had not seen a mower in years.
A yip sounded out but it had a reverb to it like it came from the bottom of a tin can. glancing around Jonny saw a tree branch poking out of a rotten storm cellar door. the branch wasn't more then a few feet long and didn't even seam that heavy but the rain and termites eating away at what had ben just some cheep plywood over the years had turned the "door" into a wooden jello.
Moving the branch out of the way and kicking away what was left of the wood pulp Jonny steeled himself to try and go down underneath the house he was sure would fall upon him.
'Good thing theres no wolves around' Jonny thought pulling out his phone to tern on the flash light and shined it down onto solid concrete steps. 'well thats one way to die taken off the list. lets see how many more I can find down there'
He walked casually wary for any slick spots or puddles that mite make him fall into the abyss beyond his cell phone's light. The stairs seamed to go on for much longer then he thought they should normally end after not much taller then Jonny 's head but these ended in a small stone square and turned off to keep heading down further it seamed less a basement and more a bomb shelter.
'damn dog what would make you think to come all the way down here?' Jonny wondered angry glaring into the darkness and he quickened his pace trying to get out of there as soon as possible.
He herd another bark then a growl long and low as if the dog had found something to be frightened of.
'If I see one more horror movie thing in this dank ass hole im out il by that old biddy a new dog that can yap me awake. better yet il just buy a damn alarm clock and pretend I was never even down here' Jonny thought his heart beat racing as he adjusted the grip on his phone that was suddenly growing damp. 'shoulda brought a real flash light damn it.'
his light shown on corrugated metal walls as the stairs really did end in a home made bomb shelter the rusted door hung off its hinges and trash was piled up near by.
'a treasure trove for adventurous vagrants ding ding ding you just won a free bed and all the caned food you can eat.' Jonny thought as he shown his light into a place that had ben picked clean many times over. it was long and low holding the frames for at least 4 cots and shelves ran along the tops and bottoms leading off into the fading darkness.
'its no wonder its has ben vacant for so long the bank would ask a fortune for this place theres practically a whole apartment down here.' and it was true as he went further in he could see a stove a washer and dryer and even doors that led to bathrooms.
Jonny shook his head now honestly considering asking how much for the place 'if this could be fixed up I could rent it out and be making money on the side.'
Jonny walked deeper into the bunker seeing a pantry built into the side of a wall and hurd the faint growling coming from deep inside. shining his light he saw shelves picked clean and old empty cans piled up on the ground apparently the bunker wasn't finished because the shelves ended but the pantry kept going walls of metal turning to bare earth.
'that doesn't look good for the foundations.' Jonny thought heading into the dirt tunnel his chest feeling heavy and a sharp pain spiked between his eyes luckily he only walked a few steps before seeing the dog shaking something in its teeth growling as it did so.
watching Jonny saw Mr. Binklesly shaking a rat nearly as large as he was blood leaking from its jaws as it growled its dominance to the furry body.
Jonny looked on mildly disgusted and put off by the display when a movement caught his eye and he saw the glowing pin points of light in the eyes of another rat as it raced for the small orange dog teeth bared ready to bite.
Taking a step forward on instinct Jonny 's foot lept out and kicked the rat in the face flinging it down the tunnel where he heard it thud against something that moved.
In horror Jonny saw a shift in the darkness and little sparks of light started to appear in it. a swarm of rats all looking toward him now there eyes glowing in his phone light.
Jonny grabbed the dog under his left arm and turned back to run the dog growled at him this time still not letting go of his prize.
Jonny didn't waist time trying to make the mut let go he just moved not quite running out of fear he'd trip on some of the trash strewn about on the floor kicking aside old cans and bottles hoping the sound mite scare off some of the nasty beasts he was sure was chasing him.
he didn't slow down until he was back out and into the fresh night air the moon full and glowing so bright it was like silvery white light had ben poured into his eyes.
the head ake Jonny had gotten in the pantry grew worse as he struggled to breath turning to look to make sure he wasn't still being followed.
the dark entryway remained still the darkness drinking in the moonlight and letting nothing back but silence.
He felt the dog give a sneeze and drop its prize from its mouth a solid silver coin fell into the grass along with a leather bound journal gray and worn with age.
Confused Jonny just stared down at the objects as if he was seeing eggs growing from a bush. shaking himself out of it he pocketed the items thinking maybe the coin mite have ben worth the nightmare he was sure to have that night.
"you Mr. Binklesly are one lucky dog." Jonny said to the old corgi who gave a sneeze in response. Jonny just shook his head and left that run down lot to rot.
he barely remembered nocking on the door or explaining to the old woman that her dog had eaten a rat and might need shots. he did remember locking his door and falling into his nice soft bed and its cold clean sheets.
It took him 4 days to wake up and in that time his dreams where muddled and confused he felt like someone was trying to talk to him to try and tell him something but he couldn't make out what it was there was just to much information all at once to many things trying to get his attention.
When he woke up the first thing that got his attention was the lack of light in the room it was pitched black.
'theres no way iv only ben asleep a few hours.' Jonny thought reaching for his phone to find it dead. that gave him pause 'if its ben longer than a few hours and my phone was at at least half a battery when I turned off the flash light... how the fuck long have I ben sleeping?'
Jonny quickly plugged in his phone waiting for it to spring to life to check the time. the first thing he saw was the big glowing numbers telling him it was 12:15am. the next thing he saw was the date he had just confirmed the month was the same when his phone started to shake and go off receiving all the texts and calls he hadn't gotten while he had ben out.
He saw a message from Sandy then from his Uncle Drew then angry messages form Lee then more concerned messages from Sandy and Drew.
It wasn't like him to take off work he had only ever gotten sick enough once after eating Darcy's home made chilli she had brought in for everyone to try, but that had left several of them puking or glued to a toilet.
Jonny wasn't sure how to even begin answering the texts when he heard a loud crash and a scream from next door.
"MR BINKLESLY NOOOOOO BAD DOG BAAAADDD DOGG-" the scream was cut off and Jonny lept to his feet his phone still to dead to try and call the police with out just sitting and waiting to find out what happened to the old lady he rushed out the door and over the lawn to see the front door open and a pool of blood soaking the carpet.
'damn her I warned her there mite be something in that rat.' Jonny swore as he lepted over the blood and followed the trail into the tiled kitchen were a hulking shape hunched over the copse of the old woman.
Orange and spiky the thing loomed only 3' tall gnawing away at the guts of the old lady who had ben screaming for help only moments ago.
Jonny was in shock theres no way this monster this thing could be her dog could it? what could have happened to the poor little yaper radiation? some sort of fucked up virus like from horror game?
Suddenly a small blue screen appeared in Jonny s vision. "dire corgi level 3"
'oh... so iv just gone crazy. I didn't even like video games that much but now i'm delusional and think im living in one... strange I thought id think I was some big star. imagining people asking for my autograph in the streets or something... I wonder if its possible to get someone else's delusions. Il try and find a npc and ask for a refund.' Jonny thought numbly as he considered just turning and leaving the room to go back home and hopefully going back to bed to wake up sane. When the corgi turned to him blood dripping off its lips and a tube of intestine sliding out from its maw.
'Nope. no. nooooo. no I don't think this is my night mare. id better go don't want to ruin it for who ever is dreaming this right now' Jonny thought then turned and ran out the door feet taking him as fast as they could back into his own home and his sense of safety.
But nightmares just like life aren't that easy to get away from and the hell hound followed him and got its nose into the doorway before he could slam it closed. The corrupted corgi snarled as Jonny nearly lost his footing as the door bounced off the armored maw.
Mindlessly Jonny slammed again feeling the wood in his door start to crumple as he continued to try and beat the monster to death with his door all the while screaming and in his own mind repeating 'don't fall apart don't fall apart for the love of god dont fall apart.'
He didn't notice how his prayer seamed to work how even the air around the door seamed to grow thicker and solidify both trapping the muzzle of the beast and suffocating it as he continued to smash away at the unnatural thing.
The growls slowed and turned to choking and week gasps before the creature grew week and fell going limp as the last of its life was syphoned away.
There was a popping noise that Jonny thought was the beasts skull finally giving way as blood gushed onto his floor, a blue collar with a little bone shaped tag slid across the floor as Jonny collapsed breathing heavy and shaking with exhaustion.
Another blue screen appears "you have killed dire corgi level 3 exp gained. you are now level 3 skills and abilities used during the fight will now be enhanced."
Jonny let out a sob putting his face in his hands 'its not over I'm still crazy its still happening.'
Then he felt a change his eyes filling with golden light his body tingled and he felt his panic go away leaving him calm and collected once more.
Interestingly right after the golden light had left him Jonny began to scream.
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