《Jonny the Fool. :Part of the Legendary Interviews》2 A very expensive bath
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Jonny didn't know how long he sat there screaming all he knew was when the red and blue lights filled his hallway it was his house the cops ran to first.
"holy shit." one officer muttered as he took in the body on the doorstep "is that some cinda coyote?"
"its got fucking spikes on it" the female officer said in anoyince and then called out to Jonny "SIR? SIR? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? ARE YOU HURT DO YOU NEED AN AMBULANCE?"
Jonny took a breath not exactly sobbing and tried to call out his voice week and his throat hurt. "no." he tried to swallow and clear his throat "im not hurt I think... oh god there's so much blood"
Jonny tried to stand using the door to help prop him up and get to his feet his legs felt strong and sturdy his heart raced and he was sure he should be trembling all over but he felt like a rock as he opened the door for the 2 officers one of witch was a young black man and the other was an asian lady in her mid 30's she shined a flashlight in his face that made him wince.
"Sir... what happened here?" the female officer asked and Jonny shook his head blinking stupidly for a moment trying to gather his thoughts.
"My neighbor is dead." the officers tensed at that the older looking at the younger and gesturing for him to go check it out. Jonny continued "the little old lady next door, I woke up and then she was screaming"
"What? What was she screaming?" the officer asked as her younger partner left to go see the damage.
"no bad dog..." he said his voice getting choked up "i ran over and saw the door was open and there was blood. i.. I couldn't belive it when I saw this thing eating her."
the officer's eyes narrowed as she let him speak.
"i just stood there staring at it then it looked at me and I ran it must have ben right behind me because when I tried to slam the door shut its face was in the way. so I just kept slamming it over and over until something popped and blood went everywhere."
"you think you killed it with your door?" she asked sounding disbelieving.
"looking at the thing I wouldn't belive it but it must be. I mean I was hitting it for a long time." Jonny said looking down at the beast's body and seeing the blood and crushed snout.
"why where u screaming when we pulled up?" she asked looking behind Jonny to make sure there wasn't something els lurking in the house.
"...for help I gess." Jonny half lied "i don't know there was just so much going on and I was afraid to try and leave the door incase..."
"in case it wasn't dead." she finished for him as she nodded.
the young officer called out to her. "Jannet you got to see this. its all kinds of fucked up."
She shot a dirty look at the young officer but turned to go radioing in an ambulance and animal control.
"hey... um can I call somebody?" Jonny asked unsure how she would respond.
the officer shot him a quizzical look "what like a lawyer?"
"my... uncle." Jonny said shaking his head a little and feeling embarrassed feeling like a child calling for an adult, but his uncle would know what to do. He would know people who could clean up all this blood and he would be able to tell Jonny if he really was going crazy or if something els was going on.
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The officer gave him a pitting look "yeah you can call him but this isn't a party understand? Just call who you NEED understood?"
Jonny nodded "i left my phone in the bedroom."
she nodded then turned away heading into the other house of horrors.
Jonny carefully went to his bedroom grabbed his phone off the charger and punched in Drew's number heading back to sit in on the lawn. It must have ben a sunny 4 days because where he thought the grass would soke his pants but it was dry and spikey.
the phone rang 3 times before Drew picked up clearly having ben asleep when he got the call " Jonny what time is it? where have you ben? are you in the hospital? haven't heard from you sense that storm."
"no im home i... I don't know exactly what happened I need you to come over there are some cops here-" Jonny was cut off quickly
"cops? what did you do Jonny ? dont worry il get you out of it but I need to know what it is you did."
"...i killed a... coyote, or some sorta wolf or something" Jonny said.
"....are you fucking kidding me?" Drew sounded nearly gleeful.
"no it killed my neighbor and I went to go help her and it came after me I killed it with a door." Jonny said realizing that as a matter of fact what Jonny did was cinda amazing.
"wooop. want me to call the news? fuck kid if thats true we should be getting you in ufc fights." Drew said with a laugh and Jonny could hear slamming and then the familiar ding ding of a car telling its owner to put on there damned seat belt.
"yeah maybe. think they'd let me bring a door? or a whole house to hide in while I just bash there faces in." Jonny asked jokingly.
"well maybe in Russia." Drew consedied "look im on my way you need me to stay on the phone?"
"what and have you crash? you can barely drive with both hands on the wheel." Jonny said with a little smile. "no I feel better just knowing your on your way."
"good il be there soon." Drew said and Jonny could hear the engine revving in the background proving the point.
The ambulance arrived at that point and after taking one glance at Jonny came over to him.
"Sir just stay still are you hurt anywhere els?" the lead medic came over and started shinning a flashlight at Jonny ’s abs and leg.
It was only then that he saw that both where torn and cut little splinters of wood sticking to the drying blood. His sweatpant leg was nearly shredded.
"oh... I didn't even notice" Jonny muttered apparently that was the wrong answer because after that no matter what he said they wouldn't let him move until they moved him into the ambulance and then they nearly striped him of his torn close and washed carefully at the skin underneath it to find nothing.
They seamed so sure the blood had to be his from were the blood was and where the tares had ben.
An icy terror washed over Jonny . 'so when you level up it heals you. I wonder what other things I can now do.... when was the last time I went to the bathroom?' the seemingly juvenile thought caused a new typ of panic to rise within Jonny . 'If iv ben asleep for 4 days how come I don't need to shit? hell I should have pissed the bed while I was out'
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Jonny tried to see if he could feel the need to go or to tell if the blood that was washed off him had any piss or shit in it as well, but no he just had blood. it was clearly a mix of both his and the... the dogs.
'holy shit am I going to change like that fucking dog?' Jonny asked himself. 'what the fuck was in that basment.'
if Jonny 's uncle Drew hadn't arrived at that moment Jonny would have told the emts everything and beg them to take him to a hospital any hospital run tests and if they didnt come back with anything then lock him up and give him pills until the nightmare was over.
But he saw his uncles balding head and worried unibrow as he pushed aside the emt who was trying to decide if Jonny should go to the hospital or just right it off as a near miss miracle.
" Jonny holy shit I thought u said u weren't hurt." Drew said as he looked Jonny over.
"hes not" said the emt glaring at Drew "it just cut up his clothes. hes lucky as hell it didn't even leave a scratch."
Drew grinned in relief "thats my nephew one lucky son of a bitch" Drew seamed to notice that Jonny was half naked "now can we get the boy some clothes?"
the emt nodded and Drew helped Jonny up and as they were walking back into Jonny 's house said "that's going to be the most expensive bath in your life guarantee it."
"oh. shit... you think the company insurance will cover it?" Jonny said wishing he had fought the emts off when he felt fine.
"Don't worry about it even if it dosnt iv got you covered." Drew waved his hand as if dismissing Jonny s worries.
Jonny never was sure how much money the man had he lived in a 4 bedroom house with a single car in his garage that he had bout back in 1990 but any time there was any expense he quickly payed it off in full.
"jeezus you call this thing a coyote?" Drew said looking over the corpse on the doorstep.
"what you want to call it a panda?" Jonny said absentmindedly though he had to admit it didn't look like a coyote. It did resemble the corgi it had once ben it still had orange fur and stubby legs compared to its body, but it also had what looked like armor plating. Its sides and back were flattened and hardened with a few stray bits of hair sticking out forming the spikes. It looked like someone had painted the side of the dog in a hard glue. Jonny also saw that the dog's throat had a gash in it like it had ben cut.
"no it ant no panda." Drew said shaking his head "you did all that with a door?"
"Must have... its not like I was doing anything els and the only other person around must have ben calling the cops." Jonny said carefully stepping past the body and threw the blood on the tile floor of his entery way.
"Ant you glad I told you get the tile not the carpet looks prettier longer and a hell of a lot easier to clean." Drew said stepping gingerly around as much of the blood as he could. "you go get a shower and dressed il make a call."
"Thanks." Jonny said heading to take a quick hot shower before getting dressed in a different pair of work out clothes. It wasn't worth walking back and forth threw that blood in clothes that would be hard to replace... and he still wasn't sure they wouldn't try and arrest him or at least make him answer questions at the police station.
To his luck though when he got out of the bathroom Drew was waiting on him lighting up a Cigarette.
" Jonny looks like they've got a truck to pick up that little tiger out side and iv got a group of boys coming to clean up your place." he said taking a puff
"good at cleaning up blood?" Jonny asked giving the cigarette a dark glance.
"the best" Drew said blowing out a puff of smoke. "now it's too early to go back to bed and to damn late to be up so lets go get something to eat and talk about why you’ve ben gone for 4 days and some sorta daemon is recking your place."
Jonny thought for a moment then shrugged. "you know theres only one place in town open with food worth eating."
Drew smiled. "never run a business you wouldn't want to go to your self kid. come on im buyin."
"good... im going to need a little time to try and... think about what happened." Jonny said and saw a gray small book on the bed he grabbed it just before they headed out for Drew's old sadan Jonny didn't bother to lock his house if Drew trusted that cleaning crew then that meant if anything turned up missing some of them mite tern up missing to.
The guys from animal control were dropping the carcass onto a truck.
"mind the spikes"
"damn Dave what the hell do you think this thing is?"
"fuck if I know."
"you think its radioactive or some shit?"
"dont be fuckin stupid. radeation dosnt do shit like this."
"yeah then what the hell dose?"
Dave just shook his head. "hell if I know but I hope to hell its not contagious."
Drew glanced over at Jonny as they headed passed Jonny felt a little pale thinking over what had happened and trying to find the right words.
"i think I want to go back to bed." Jonny said as he opened the passenger door and got in.
"yeah fighting for your life dose that" Drew said solemnly and buckled in before starting the car and heading to the casino.
Jonny closed his eyes trying to figure out if he could answer any of the questions he knew he was about to get asked most of witch he was now asking himself.
'was it all real? id say im going crazy but to many people are also saying the dog is crazy shit, and if the dog is real then it all must be real. So that must mean those blue boxes were real and that means iv leveled up. so where the hell is the start button? Or what els would you call that? A menu?' there was a small blue flash on the insides of Jonny s eyelids and he heard drew cry out and swerve to the left.
Jonny opened his eyes in shock floating a foot in front of him was a blue lightly glowing.
"fuck what the fuck is that some cinda hologram? put it away" Drew shouted straightening out the car glancing at the screen then back at the road.
"uah... menu off?" Jonny said hoping.
Like a tv the blue screen blinked out of existence.
"So... you can see those too." Jonny said mind empty watching as there little town went by and the casino rose in the distance an obelisk to greed.
Drew was silent for a time dazed himself. "So... quite a story you've got to tell me huh?"
"...more like questions we can ask each other 100 times." Jonny said rubbing at his eyes.
Drew grew thoughtful at those words parking at his reserved spot. "lets go to my office so we can talk for real."
Jonny nodded Drew's office was probably the most secure room in the place.
They got odd looks from people as they passed as Drew had said it was much to early for them to be in casinos as a rule didn't have clocks but coming in before the sun was up was always going to get odd looks.
Drew looked at one of the doormen. "send up some coffee and a breakfast spread to my office. And you are to knock do you understand?"
"yes sir." the doorman said with a nod before hurring away.
Jonny frowned. "remind me just how far up the food chain are you again?"
"falling down a slippery slope takes just one wrong step... or wrong answer." Drew said stoically leading a worried Jonny to an elevator and turning a key before pressing a button to send them to the 3rd floor.
Jonny suddenly remembered one time when Drew was over having drinks with his dad while Jonny watched Aladdin in the other room. It was getting close to the end when Drew suddenly called out "thats what you get dumbass. Everyone wants to be Sultin or even grand vasear, but nobody gives a shit about the head butler."
Jonny 's mother told him to watch what he said around Jonny but Jonny 's dad just laughed like there was nothing funnier in the world.
"...No one gives a shit about the head butler huh?" Jonny muttered watching as Drew slid a key card into the door then held it open terning back to Jonny with a dark glint in his eye.
"One wrong answer." he said softly and waited for Jonny to get the point.
Jonny understood its either all or nothing he give up pretending to just be a guy who worked in the casino and not a member of a shady as hell organization that didn't even call its self a gang or even a "family".
"...i get it, but just remember that yourself when you hear what iv got to say." Jonny said meeting his uncles eye.
Drew met his gaze for a long minute then one of his eyes twitched and he turned away nodding. "with all this build up this better be one hell of a story."
"best I can say... its got demons." Jonny said looking around at what was clearly an emptied out hotel room that had an old desk with a computer plugged into it and an old well used desk chair in one corner away from the window and across from it where it could get plenty of light was a large well worn couch.
Jonny sat himself on the couch witch was surprisingly comfortable as Drew plopped himself down behind the desk.
"ok so first thing is the first. what happened when you whent home the day of the storm?" Drew asked moving his ashtray closer.
"got a pen and some paper? I don't feel like saying 'i don't know' 100 times." Jonny said not sure if he was even joking.
"allways did like the road runner cartoons... why not?" Drew said and pulled out a blank paper and wrote I don't know down on it for Jonny and tossed it to him.
"thanks." Jonny said then started at the beginning. "after what felt like an eternity in the bingo hall I headed for home and saw trees down and branches and things everywhere. didn't think that storm was that bad."
Drew took a drag of his cigarette watching Jonny as he talked.
"i saw an somethin run in front of the car just before I got home. Terns out it was the old biddy next door's dog. That little yappy corgi that wakes... woke me up in the morning. Branch fell just right to let that little shit out so being the upstanding gentleman I am I got changed and told her id go get the mut." Jonny said relaxing into the story "it went down into the basement of that shit heap next door, but it wasn't a basement it was a bunker. Survivalist type shit goes down forever and a half and at the bottom was a pretty big place trashed tho. Stove bathrooms and hell even a pantry. thats where I found the dog... but im thinking it wasnt really just part of the pantry."
"what do you mean?" Drew asked flicking ash into the tray.
Jonny held up the paper for a moment thinking about it. "it looked different the shelves just ended and the walls turned to dirt before it was all metal walls."
Drew nodded "go on."
"Well I saw the dog just shaken away at something I thought it was a rat. I mean it was gray and furry. That damned thing did not want to let go of it. thats when I saw the rats hundreds of little eyes glowing in the flashlight and one tried to bite the dog so I kicked it" Jonny waved the paper. "how far it went or if it died but when I saw those other rats I grabbed the dog and ran..."
Jonny suddenly remembered something. "oh yeah and I started getting a head ake. like a spike between the eyes."
"was that before or after you kicked the rat." drew asked.
Jonny waved the paper.
"im starting to regret giving that to you" drew said stubbing out his cigarette.
"yeah but like I said il end up saying it 1000 times." Jonny said "but yeah I booked it ended up outside it was then the dog final spat out what it had in its mouth."
"what was it?"
"some old book... and a silver coin." Jonny said
"do you still have it?" drew asked.
Jonny this time shrugged instead of waving he paper. "maybe it was in my pants when I was attacked I think."
"hmm so you bring up the dog its got some book like a chew toy AND a silver coin in its mouth that it didn't swallow or choke on?" drew asked
"yeah you make a point I didnt think about that at the time. all I knew is I had a head ake wanted to go to bed and get this damn dog back to the old lady. so anyway I grab up the book and the coin put it in my pocket and bring the lady back her dog." Jonny said
"then what happend?" drew asked.
"i went to bed."
"went... to bed."
"yeah... and next thing I know its still dark outside and my phones dead."
"when was that?"
"...today wasn't even 1 oclock yet."
"...you were asleep for the whole 4 days?" Drew asked raising an eyebrow.
"yeah must have ben like I said sleeping then boom 4 days gone. I was just starting to freak out about that when the old lady started screaming" Jonny continued. "screaming no bad dog down yeah know? so I ran over and she must have gotten to the door cus it was wide open and there was blood on the floor."
Jonny stumbled at this part feeling his gut churn "she was dead the damn thing was eating her intestine... I ah... was trying to figure out what to do next when one of those blue boxes showed up it said "die corgi 3" or something... level 3 that was it."
Drew looked confused. "die corgi? as in the little yappy dog was still dead? you sure thats what happend?"
Jonny waved the paper. "no I had a fucken daemon growling at me while a tube of old lady meat fell from its god damn mouth. I thought I was just fucked in the head so I ran."
"you ran even though you didn't think it was real?" Drew asked watching him.
Jonny was taken aback. "yeah... yeah I ah..." he didn't bother to rase the paper. "but anyway I ran got to my door and tried to close it but the damn thing kept getting in the way so I just kept on trying until finally it stoped moving and there was blood everywhere... then one of those blue boxes poped up saying it was dead and I got exp and now im level 3 whatever the fuck that means... then the cops showed up and I called you."
Drew lit up another Cigarette and looked out the window. "well it is a hell of a story, but damned if it wasn't short."
"yeah I wasn't going to say anything until the blue box gave me away." Jonny said with a half shrug
"I don't blame ya" Drew said looking off into the distance in thought.
There was a nock on the door followed by 2 small kicks then another nock.
"Good that'll be the food let them in" Drew said and turned to his computer "you go ahead and eat im going to look into a few things."
Jonny just nodded and got up and opened the door behind it was a slightly nervous looking young man in a bell hops uniform and a food cart filled with dishes and a whole pot of coffee on a warmer.
"Thanks" Jonny said pulling the cart into the room with them and closing the door on the kid. Jonny saw the numbers on the door and shook his head once again 313. You'd think a man who worked in a castino would be more superstitious than that, but then again that mit be exactly why he stayed in this room none of the customers would want it.
Jonny got a cup of coffee for his uncle and then one for himself. Drew barely looked up but still muttered a thanks as he did whatever it was he was doing on his computer. Jonny trusted him and had seen him do this sort of thing before. In no more then an hour his Uncle would not only have a plan but also be midway threw putting it in place.
Jonny took the lid off what turned out to be a tray of scrambled eggs and his mouth watered at the smell and the sight of the eggs made him lick his lips in anticipation.
'well it seams like I still get hungry.' Jonny thought before getting a large bowl and digging in.
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СоСо couple гэж мэдэх үү? Ёстой хөөрхөн шүү.
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