《Du Fyrn Vanyali》Feedback
Advertisement
I'm writing this in regards to the weak MC. As you all know, my MC is somewhat lacking in the maturity department. As of right now, I cannot handle the amount of complaints that was directed at my MC, so in order to satisfy all your wishes, I would like all of you to answer a few questions. If that is okay with you then proceed on to the questions below.
---
What is wrong with the MC?
In which point of the story did the MC irritate you the most?
What could've been done differently about that situation? Instead how of the way the MC reacted, what would have been a better reaction?
Finally, How do you think the MC should be like, instead how he currently is? (Remember this is just how you picture my MC should've been. It will be my decision to take some of your ideas and incorporate it into the MC.)
Please try to answer these questions truthfully and with as much detail as possible. Also try to answer all of them, because I'm going to use these feedbacks to possibly rewrite/change the MC. THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINING POST. Therefore, unless you are here to actually give feedback, do not post random babble. Anything I deem unnecessary will be removed. Also if you have no issues with the MC, don't bother answering the questions, since it won't help me at all if you say: "Hiro is perfect the way he is.".
Part of me feels like giving up, it's painful to be honest. I read and try to reply to any comments that I can, to see posts that only point out what I did wrong and not give advice pains me. At times I even wanted to remove some of then, of course this has never happened, because I want to be honest with my readers. Therefore this is a serious post regarding the MC. If there is anything else that you find problematic, feel free to point it out, however you must give the feedback questions priority.
Advertisement
I love to write and if RoyalRoadL doesn't want me here, I won't post anymore. I will continue to write my stories, I just won't show them to the public.
Advertisement
- In Serial22 Chapters
Rose of Thorns and Blood
I do not own Naruto, the original author is Masashi Kishimoto. An SI/OC reincarnated as a female naruto in the naruto_verse "My name was Sarah, I was a human experiment during the second world war I was barely 5 years old, back then a group of russian scientist discovered a withered fruit that fell on earth together with a meteorite, they didnt know where it came from, butit didnt matter much in the end, what it mattered was that the fruit had incredible amount of energy, they made me eat it, with eating it came untolds amount of power, power that made me immortal, I developed a second persona, while I have warm and kind, personality, the second is cold, ruthless, efficient and I can even switch between them in a blink." a woman in what looked like she was barely twenty in age, with white hair royal purple eyes, and with a well-endowed body said. "well you are dead now so I guess your immortality was flawed, even if you had a body that far surpassed the common human and did not catch any disease you will be hard pressed to survive a nuclear warhead huh, hmm I think you will fit in the world of naruto pretty well, you already consumed the Phoenix aspect chakra fruit even though it was stripped of most of its power during the dimensional travel hahaha" an androgynous voice said. the man before my eyes was pretty effeminate with shoulder length blonde hair and green eyes he is like that bishounen you see in anime and manga, ehehe what can i say I never liked those shows and movies from the west and I had to get a hobby, what it's not like I am embarrassed by being an immortal otaku, well I am dead now, damn those North Koreans. "wait did you say Naruto? is this reincarnation?" Mary Sue maybe There will be lemons, but not so much, I am just a horny bastard.
8 369 - In Serial12 Chapters
Vamped up
Kurayami of the house of Akeldama. Has his entire family brutally slaughtered one fateful night. he is a Vampire Progenitor. how will he navigate this semi-futuristic world with the power to destroy nations? And will he find his true love? And build his harem. Will he be able to blend and mix with humans and take revenge for his family? Or will he be driven by his bloodlust and be led to ruin? (some fan service scenes)
8 90 - In Serial7 Chapters
Hell University: A Devilish LitRPG
As if being murdered in the bathroom at work isn’t bad enough, Emma Goodworth wakes up in the only place arguably worse than her corporate office job: Hell itself.Join Emma as she faces off against nightmarish beasts, ascends ranks, mingles with the crime underworld, plays politics with the Council, keeps up with her studies, and learns more about the complicated and impossible history of Aporia and her strange powers as she fights her way to the throne of Hell.Updated (most) Tuesdays and Fridays.
8 127 - In Serial7 Chapters
It's A Tough Life Being The Heir When You're The Illegitimate Daughter of a Viscountess And Her One TIme Mistress
Beatrice Amalia is magically conceived in a moment of passion between the richest Viscountess in the Antara realm and a woman she's hired as an, ah, artisan. She is the only one of the Viscountess' children to be born with golden eyes, so she's the only one who can inherit the Artoi name. Or, What do you do when your birth ruined countless ambitious plans? Why, have fun of course.
8 128 - In Serial11 Chapters
The Hero's Sidekick
Life is great when you're the hero. You're handsome, charismatic, you've got girls throwing themselves at you left and right. You're handy with a sword, you know how to lead by example, you've got a grand destiny ahead of you. Despite all of your hardships, no matter what comes your way you've got what it takes to overcome it. So what happens if you're not the hero, but his sidekick? Turns out being second fiddle to the main event isn't nearly so glamorous. But a hero only stands tall when he's got others to hold him up. This is the story of a hero and his oft-overlooked, sarcastic little sidekick...
8 197 - In Serial80 Chapters
KARNA - MAHADEV'S DECIPLE
I do not want hurt anybody's religious sentiments. This story is purely my imagination, what if karna in search of his guru after rejected by several guru was taken as disciple of lord mahadev himself? what would happen in mahabharat if karna was in dharam paksh.
8 193