Six Pack

Chapter 14 - Billy’s Day Out (KLANG!)

Bill Zornosa had been close enough to the initial attacks on the day of the Shil’vati Invasion that he felt the explosions before he saw anything. Michael had ditched him to go have a meal with Rachel. Michael knew, Bill knew, but Rachel didn’t know that that meal would be the last one she would share with Michael as a couple. Fuckin’ chump didn’t even make her pay for her half of the meal. Couldn’t even keep it together to break up with her after they’d paid.

Eh well, can’t blame him. First time doing anything is never easy. That said, his second rebound, after that meal that didn’t happen, came all too easy. He was out of the house before we could celebrate his newfound freedom.

Then the Shil’vati Invasion. Bill had tried to fight against the Shil. The arsenal he’d amassed was of no use against the Shil’vati foot soldiers who’d come to clean up the city. Though he had fought back unsuccessfully, he hadn’t gotten caught. His SERE training must’ve gotten him through the tough times between invasion and occupation. He didn’t talk about it much. He didn’t talk much about his long history of violence. Those who Michael’d met that knew didn’t say much either. Some fucked up things have been honored, buried and will remain that way. It does no one any good to bring up memories that have been settled.

And now, here ol Mikey is, shacking up with some dog women. Sleeping with a pack of bitches. Heh heh, I crack myself up.

Bill had been awake in the early morning when the two Rakiri left this morning. He gave them his best impression of the Queen’s wave as they quietly padded through the kitchen.

Well fuck this. I don’t need Mike. I’ve dealt harder shit before.

Michael came out of his side of the apartment, having finished his rituals and ready to go to work. He grabbed a banana from the counter and a coke from the fridge. When he turned to the living room, he paused to ask, “You...uh, not coming to work today?”

Bill was laid out on the couch, like one of those French girls, flipping through various menus on the tv. “Nope. Not feeling it today.”

Michael’s face read like what Bill’d just said did not compute. Michael followed up, “You feeling ok?”

Bill waved him off. “I”m good. Have a good day. I’ll see you later.”

Michael’s face was still unconvinced, but he let it go. “Cool cool...see you later.” He proceeded down the stairs and out the door.

Bill waited until he heard Michael’s car ignition turn over before he announced to no one but himself, “Well...time to get to work.”

Bill got up and put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Picked up his dirty clothes and tossed them into the washer. He took a shower and shaved. Then he opened up his computer. After a good amount of browsing and checking his accounts he announced, “That’ll do pig. That’ll do.”

He ordered himself an Uber and took a trip from the city, to the country, over the Buckman Bridge. This was all familiar country. He knew the Orange Park area pretty well. Though, he had to admit his daughter knew the area a little better. Andrea had designed the traffic flow through the whole Blanding Boulevard.

She’s a good kid. Bill’s mind slipped to wee Andrea. She came out a strong, independent woman. That said, she was undeniably his. The only two people who he had the strongest claim to were Andrea and his own mother. Bill kept Andrea’s mother as far away as possible. Sometimes cultural pressure and informally arranged marriages do not work out. Their break up did not break his love for Andrea. In a way, he was her father who knew what was best; in other ways, he grew up with her. Sure he’d had military training and battle experience, but when you go home afterward, you have to learn to live again.

This was a whole new world for him. He should have picked up the signs. Andrea’d had boyfriends, but they weren’t anything that Bill had thought were “true love”, if such a thing did exist. When Andrea went off to college things changed. A boy got her pregnant and refused to accept that the child was his.

It was a shitty, shitty situation. Lawyers got involved. Ultimately, nothing good came of it. Andrea disavowed all romantic relationships with men. Bill didn’t know what a windfall that would be for him. His anger subsided when she’d invite her sorority sisters to his place to party. He didn’t ever take advantage of his daughter’s peers, mother-henning them more than anything else; but he accepted the fact that hot coeds were in his area.

Plus, he got to spend time with his granddaughter. Tiana was an adorable, vibrant, bottle of joy who infused Bill with new life. Andrea was a phenomenal tiger mom. Tiana’s tricks could fool Bill, but Andrea would not stand for it. She held the line for her daughter to become a strong, independent fighter who could fight her own battles.

Bill’s reverie ended, a bit abruptly, when the Uber arrived at his destination. His introspection had brought him back to where he’d been that morning. He had had a hand in raising two fine, independent women and he, too, was a strong, independent person--for whom jealousy of his civilian roommate getting all the tail and envy of having transportation would no longer hold him back.

He thanked the driver and quickly rated them on his phone. He looked at his bank account app. He looked at the craigslist advertisement. He was at the right place. He looked around the farmhouse.

A man came out of the front door and welcomed Bill. “You the fella interested in the bike?”

“Yessir.”

---

It’s not that Bill was desperate for a bike. He wanted the freedom the idea of a motorcycle gave their riders. It wasn’t his first bike and he didn’t figure it would be his last. That said, he had only test driven it for a mile or two before he paid the man and headed home.

He should have talked the previous owner’s price down a bit. It wasn’t a hunk of junk, but it wasn’t worth what he’d paid. The first red flag was when the motorcycle sputtered to a stop near the apex of the Buckman coming home. He pulled over and stepped off to see what he could figure out.

He eyed the connections on the battery. I’m not about to disconnect and remove the gas tank to be able to dick around with the battery. While he was there, he noticed a switch that pointed to “1”. On a 30 degree angle from the 1 was a “2”. Oh, the reserve tank. He switched it over to two and mounted the bike again. He gave it a shimmy, as if that’ll make the gas pass through to the right places, his mental sarcasm barbed back at him.

Sure enough, it started up again. Bill managed to make it the rest of the way home with a few more snags. The clutch took a little more effort than I’d’ve liked to have had to use. It’ll shift, but not all that smooth. I’ll have to work on that when I can. Ah well, something to worry about later. He trudged up the stairs and looked through the upstairs living room window at his new toy. He grinned with satisfaction before laying back down on the couch and promptly falling asleep.

---

Bill woke to the sound of the doorbell. Who the fuck would be ringing he doorbell? Fuck, did I fall asleep? The room swirled as he sat up and yelled, “Hang on a minute!”

To his surprise, he heard a voice come up the stairs. He couldn’t tell who it was exactly, but he knew it was one of those damn dog women. He almost made it to the top of the stairwell before he collapsed on the floor. He saw the familiar figure of Linnet come up the stairs and place two armfuls of groceries on the kitchen counter. Her new, unknown accomplice, gasped before following suit. Linnet asked a few growly “graw graws” before lifting Bill up and putting him back on the couch.

He figured they were strong, but he did not expect that any one of them could pick him up. Nor did he expect to be placed so gently. The new Rakiri spoke to Linnet who promptly left Bill’s side and brought a coke from the refrigerator. Bill took a few sips. In a few moments, the room stopped spinning; he had a sheen of sweat that he hadn’t noticed before.

“What happened?” Bill woozily asked no one in particular.

The new Rakiri asked in loose English, “Now day, you eat?”

Huh, did I understand that? Damn, did I eat today? He shook his head, half in answer to the question and half in trying to get his wits about him.

“Sugar drink help?” The newcomer asked.

Ordinarily, Bill wouldn’t have taken a whiskered face asking him health questions as a sign that he was coming to, but life is weird like that sometimes. “Yeah…” He breathed a big sigh of relief.

“Good. Think you need to lay down more.” The stranger suggested.

“Who the hell are you?” Bill asked groggily. “How did you even get in my house?”

The newcomer held a hand to her chest. “Me are Fala.” She held a hand out to shake his, “Please to meet you.”

Bill reached up to grasp Fala’s. “Mmm, pleased to meet you too.” He rubbed at his eyes, “And how did you get in?”

Linnet came in from Bill’s side of the apartment with a wet pair of socks. She handed them with a “graw graw” to Fala, who shrugged and accepted the wet socks. Fala placed them on his forehead. Fala answered, “Door open.”

Bill sat up, but held the socks to his forehead--the hell I did? But man these cold socks feel nice right now. “No way! I know I closed the door.”

Fala followed through, “No. Door open.” She pointed at herself and Linnet. “We see you on two wheel. We see you go in. Door open.”

You gotta be shittin’ me.

“Door open. We not come in before touching belly-button.” Fala put a hand on his shoulder and let his head fall into the other; she rested his head on a pillow Linnet had grabbed after a return trip to Bill’s bedroom. “Bel’a and Harley look your two wheel.”

Belly button, that’s some funny shit. “It’s not a Harley. It’s a Kawasaki.” Bill laughed with his eyes closed, leaning into the pillow.

KLANG!

“The fuck was that?” Bill’s eyes opened wide as he sat up straight. He sat up a little too fast as a sharp pain knocked around his head like a screw in the bottom of a metal bucket. Determined, he stood up, walked around the end of the couch and stood at the window.

Fala rushed to his side. He looked at her, then at Linnet, who was putting grocery items into the refrigerator. Fala steadied him, but he wasn’t easily swayed from the window. In the parking lot, where he’d parked his motorcycle, Bel’a and another new Rakiri had the gas tank of his motorcycle on the ground.

Bill knocked at the window and yelled, “HEY!” down at them.

Their ears bent back and they slumped over in shame, tails between their legs. The newer newcomer grawed something up at them. Fala translated as best she could, “Oops.” Her bashful face, ears drawn back and head down was almost enough to make him sorry for being mad.

It wasn’t enough though. Bill angrily pointed at the two Rakiri women in the parking lot and hollered, “CAREFUL! I JUST GOT THAT!”.

With that, Bill relented to Fala’s gentle guidance back to the couch. He laid back down and returned the socks to his forehead. They were warming up. “Fala?” He squeaked before she got too far away from him.

She turned back to face him. Linnet banged around the cabinets, grabbing pots and pans. Fala squinted and turtled her head into her shoulders. “Yes?”

“Can you find the aspirin?” Bill held his thumb and first two fingers out in the vague shape of a pill bottle.

Fala’s head turned slightly to the side.

Bill attempted to restate his request. “Pain medicine? Pills?” He pointed at his forehead and made a pained face, “Ouchie go bye bye circles?”

Fala shook her head in affirmation and headed to Bill’s bedroom.

Bill lifted himself slightly off the couch. “They should be behind the mirror!” He relaxed again for a moment, before considering again, “Or maybe by the sink!”

Finding his continued efforts disturbing, Linnet came to Bill’s side and tried to coax him to calm down. Her efforts didn’t bring much comfort, nor did Fala’s return with a medicine bottle that was not exactly what he’d asked for her to get. He looked at the label and returned it to Fala’s hands. “Take that back and look for a white bottle. Not one of these see through ones.” Bill hoped that that would be enough.

Thinking beyond his aching head, Bill griped, “What’re they doing to my bike!?!”

Bill heard the front door close.

“That’s your bike!?” Michael exclaimed from the bottom of the stairs. “Cool!”

Bill rolled his eyes. “Hi honey, welcome home!”

Michael got to the top of the stairs and saw Bill on the couch. “Well, you obviously moved.” He frowned, “But you’re in the same position I left you in this morning.”

Michael turned to see Fela coming out of Bill’s bedroom. “Uh, who are you?” He frowned in confusion, then saw the pill bottles in her hands, “I don’t think Bill wants strangers rifling through his stuff.”

Bill called out, “Did she grab the aspirin?”

Michael looked at the labels, his mouth buzzed with his speed reading. “Bill Z. That’s a big word that I’ve not heard of here. There’s a couple whole pills and a couple half pills in here.” He turned the other bottle in his hand, “And this is the Cialis you got from me.”

Bill groaned, “No, I’ve got a splitting headache. I should have some aspirin or something in my bathroom.”

Michael held onto the other two pill bottles and replied, “I’ve got some ibuprofen in my bathroom. Want some?”

“Whatever dude. Anything.”

Michael turned square with Fala. “And, who are you again?”

Fala put her hand to her chest, but Bill replied for her before she could speak. “That’s Fala.”

Michael was taken aback. “Since when do you speak Shil?”

Bill took on an wizened affect, “You have much to learn, Grasshopper.”

“Yeah, ok, Fala, can you put these back?” Michael pretended she knew English.

“Ok.” Fala replied.

Michael made a face that spoke to his lack of surprise. “Much to learn, huh?” He turned to Bill, “Like this one speaks English?”

“Meds, please!” Bill clasped his hands in false prayer.

Michael handed Bill’s pill bottles back to Fala and turned to walk to his bathroom. He tried to stop by the fridge to grab some booze on his way. Linnet closed the fridge and pointed to Fala. He turned back to Fala and made a face that effectively communicated, what the hell, without him having to say it.

Fala spoke again, “No drink. We speak straight tonight.”

Michael flared his nostrils and lifted his eyebrows as if to say, have it your way. He spun around with that face on only to have Linnet lean into him. She had the most Mom face he’d ever seen on a dog...like alien. He straightened up and continued his pursuit in the bathroom.

Michael came back out with a family sized bottle of ibuprofen. “I hope this’ll do.” He said, proffering the bottle to Bill.

“It’ll be fine.” Bill accepted the large bottle, then asked, “What’re they doing with my bike?”

Michael looked out the window to the parking lot. “When I came out, it was in pieces, but now they seem to be finished and coming in.”

Bill hummed in acceptance.

---

Overhead, a purple metal brick hovered out of naked eye sight. It zoomed in on two Rakiri women walking into an apartment building.

It fell to a level where it could see into the window. The heat vision HUD displayed the two Rakiri going up the stairs. Two other Rakiri were on the further end of the apartment, working on a surface heated table beside a cold, blue prism. On the couch was one human male. At the window was another human male.

The heat vision swiped away, replaced by the visible spectrum view. The HUD zoomed in on the face in the window. From the brackets that framed the face grew a line that led to a display of a driver’s license. The driver’s license picture matched the face of the man at the window. A green check flashed atop the line between the faces on the HUD.

The drone buzzed again before lifting up and out of view.

---

“Hey Bel’a!” Michael chimed in her direction as she entered from the top of the stairs. She gave him a toothy smile and wave along with her tail wag. “And our other new friend is..?”

Fala interceded, “This Harley.”

Bill chuckled, “Oh, her name is Harley!”

Harley tilted her head at his laughing at her name.

Michael smiled and tried to explain as reassuringly as he could, “Harley-Davidson is a brand of motorcycles. Bill just got a motorcycle,” He turned to Bill, “but it’s not a Harley, is it?”

“Kawasaki Vulcan. I thought I got a deal on it, but now I’m not so sure.”

Now it was Bel’a’s turn to explain. Unfortunately, her target audience didn’t understand her.

Fala interpreted, “Battery almost dead. Clutch crap. Lousy Human fuel. Tires old.”

Well fuck me, I got duped. Bill complained to himself, then asked, “What can do better than Human fuel?”

“Shil’vati fuel” the Rakiri seemed to say in unison.

“The fuck do Shil’s use for fuel?” Bill chided.

Fela conveyed what Bill’d said for the rest of the women.

Bel’a and Linnet began overlapping descriptions to answer Bill.

Fala panicked a bit, looking from one proponent to the other. She turned to Bill and replied, “It’s complicated.”

“Ugh, I’ll get around to fixing all that.” Bill grumbled, “But you don’t have to worry about driving me to work everyday.” He gave Michael sarcastic jazz hands.

Fala relayed Bill’s comment to the others. Harley replied.

Fala responded to Bill’s comment with Harley’s answer, “No worries. All fixed.”

“Huh?” Bill doubted them.

Michael confirmed, “They had it back together before they came upstairs.”

Fala conveyed the message and came back with this answer from Bel’a, “Definitely all good. We fix. No problem.”

Bill was perplexed, “How?”

Fala circled the room, pointing at each of them:

“Linnet, Engineer.

“Bel’a, Mechanic.

“Harley, Mechanic.”

She then pointed to herself, “Fala, Medic.”

Michael thought back, “Then do you know what those pills of Bill’s were?”

“They’re for my cancer.” Bill answered before anyone could guess what they could be. “I have prostate cancer.”

Michael was shocked.

Fala added, “And maybe diabetes.”