《Kinda Real Online》3. My Name

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I slowly stopped chewing, wondering if I should avoid eating dragon meat. Woudn't that be cannibalism? Though it was earth dragon so maybe we weren't the same type of dragon. Besides, the meat was so good, and I was starving. I started eating again, but this time I took it slow. I chewed each piece of meat until there were no more chunks, and my mother seemed to approve. At least I think she did, she kind of smiled, but I hadn't really gotten used to dragon expressions so it was either an approval smile, or a grimace.

"You are so full of life, I will call you Bwyd Diderfyni." She was definetly smiling a happy smile. "There is much you must learn, and the first thing is how to act like a human."

New Quest!

Prove to your mother that you can pass yourself off as a human, or other humanoid race, within a reasonible amount of time.

Rewards: 3 stat points

Failure: -1 favor from your mother

You cannot decline this quest

I almost choked on the food I was eating. This would be the easiest quest ever. I mean, I was already human, so learning how to act like one would be the same as acting like myself. Of course, this was a fantasy world so there were probably a few things that were different, but I was confident I was going to ace this quest.

"The first and most important part of being human is wearing clothes, and the second is keeping your appearance clean and neat. You are currently failing at both of those."

It's not like I have any clothes to wear, and it's not my fault the meat is extra juicy.

"You also need to learn to eat with utensils. Humans never use their hands to eat anything." She paused for a moment as she changed back into her human form. "While imitating a human you must remember that their strength comes from the tools they make, and becuase of that they never go anywhere without their own personal tool."

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At least they aren't a tool...

"Humans are strange illogical creatures who need other humans in order to feel strong. So the last thing you must remember is humans almost never travel alone. If they do it means they are either a criminal, or abnormal. You must learn how to befriend humans, and how to participate in social events. So, any questions before we get started?"

Wait, is this my tutorial? I don't think I can ask that.

"Good, since you have no questions you can start by cleaning yourself off in the pool of water over there."

New Quest!

Clean yourself.

Rewards: +1 favor from your mother

Failure: -1 favor from your mother

You cannot refuse this quest

I swallowed the last of my meat, and headed over to the pool. My balance had improved so I was able to walk without stumbling too much, so I tried running. Running worked fine, but then I tried to jump into the water. I wasn't quite expecting to jump very high, but apparently I was stronger than I looked. I launched myself about ten feet into the air, and instead of coming back down feet first, I started to rotate. I got that feeling in my stomach that happens when you realize you messed up, and started the descent for a perfect belly flop.

Next thing I knew I used my wings to fix my fall. I just oppened them and poof! I was heading feet first into the water. It felt just as natural as breathing. The game just kept surprising me, in a good way. I really did not want to embarrass myself in front of my mother.

The water was a little cool, but it wasn't too bad, so I looked around for anything that could help me scrub. Other than some rocks, there wasn't anything, and I wasn't about to drag rocks across my skin. So I just used my hands to wipe the meat juice away, which wasn't too bad see as it was still juicy. By the time I was finished, my mother brought some clothes to the edge of the pool.

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When I say some clothes, I really mean piles and piles of clothes. It was like she raided a couple Medieval Goodwills and just dumped all the clothes on the ground. She had shirts, skirts, dresses, socks, shoes, hats, pants, underwear of all different types, and scarves. For a moment I just stared at all the clothes. I had no idea why she'd have so many different types of clothes if she was a dragon. Not to mention she automatically had clothes on when she was in human form.

"I know it can be overwhelming when you look at it, but you can think of clothes for humans as scales for us. Their clothes are the first thing that they see about each other and it helps to identify their occupation." She lifted up a hood. "For example, only humans who like to hide wear these." She picked up a pair of pants. "This is a symbol of the one who provides for a family. Only a few humans per family wear the pants, but they have the responsibility of the whole family."

Is this true? Maybe acting like a human is going to be harder than I thought.

"Some humans even wear extra clothing to protect them from enemies. I do not have any of that here, but in my lair to the west I have a great collection. Also, the most important piece of clothing for us to wear is this." She picked up a bra. "If you do not wear this, humans will try to engage in a mating ritual with you. They do try to pay, but the human mating ritual is a lot of work, and involves a great deal of physical contact. The initial process is quick, but one of the humans involved needs to carry the child for a long time and... The point is you need to wear this if you are going to be walking around human cities at night."

"Mother, where did you learn all of this about humans." I was trying not to laugh.

"Most of it comes from my mother's teaching, but a few things I learned on my own. You will have to live among humans, so it is important that you learn as much as you can." She started tossing clothes at me. While I was still in the water.

"Hey, wait. Let me get dry first."

I climbed out of the water, and she immedieatly blew hot air on me. Kind of like a super high powered blow dryer. Some of the clothes went straight into the pool, but I was dry in a couple seconds. I started picking clothes out of her piles that would fit me, and that actually matched. Unlike the clothes she had tossed to me. I was starting to get the idea that she really didn't know much about humans. It was a little difficult to put them on though. It was my first time putting a bra on with wings, and that slowed me down a little. At least my tail didn't get in the way with the sun dress I picked.

"Well, you seem to know what you are doing. Those clothes suit you. Your next lesson is how to use a fork." She held up a wooden fork. "This is one of the most common tools that humans have. They use them to eat, and make music. I do not understand the music part, but to eat you hold it like this, then stab the food like this, and finally bring it to your mouth like this."

It was entertaining to have her demonstrate how to eat with a fork using extremely exagerated motions, and somehow I still managed not to laugh. However, I found out that even though my mind knew how to use utensils, my body didn't. Holding the fork correctly was awkward. It just felt wierd, even if it looked right. Luckily it was good enough for my mother, and she moved on to the next lesson. Socializing.

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