After a round of preparation, I made the most of what i have and got my Dungeon ready for the upcoming event, Dungeon Rush. The annoying maze set up, the Tumbleweed at almost every corner and the Carpet Thorns to slow down enemies. Just the light amount of disruption that makes the maze efficient. With all that done, I sat down in my now well renovated personal space watching the TV for the show that is about to begin.

“Ladies and gentlemen welcome to our Dungeon Rush Special. I am James.”

“I am Jessie.”

“I am Cassidy.”

“And I am Butch. We are not Team Rocket. But we will unite all peoples within our nation for truth and love”

…

Jessie leans over and whispered: “James, are you sure that our boss is ok with us being here?”

…

Cassidy not breaking a stride continued as if she did not hear Jessie speak: “As everyone has known, it has been about 4 months since the game’s release, the number of Dungeon Players is now OVER 9000. Today we are having a special event happening for all Dungeon Players. Endless prizes awaits for each Dungeon.”

Butch:

“The rules are simple.

No Popcorns.

No Dungeon consumables.

Survive.”

James: “It is a survival game mode. Every few seconds a wave of monsters will enter the Dungeon from the entrance. Every Player gets the same wave of monster so there is no cheating involved. These monster will give 5 times the exp and increased drop rates.”

Jessie: “The top winners will be given special rewards according to what they have accomplished.”

James: “Stay tuned folks. We will be reporting in on the Dungeons that were polled in earlier as a special broadcast. Adventurers,and fellow Dungeon Crawlers, send in the names of the Dungeons that you have interest in. the top 10 Dungeons in the polls will have their own channel, in the meantime let us have a quick look at our first Dungeon of the day.”

Jessie: “Meowth, spin the roulette.”

...

At the side a well toned muscled cat that very much reminded me of Lion O spins the insanely huge wheel.

…

Cassidy: “I am anxious to have the first look on what kind of Dungeon we be viewing. Among all the thousands of Dungeon Players that are playing right now, it has been a long debate about how some Dungeons are more difficult than others.”

James: “ I must admit that no 2 Dungeons are the same or equal. With the randomness of the Talents and Skills, it will be like snowflake. They may start the sames for some, but other than the initial growth, everything will be different. ”

Butch:”I am going to quote George Orwell on this though. All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

Meowth from the back: “Thats is right.”

*Kachin*

Cassidy: “And there we have it, our first Dungeon on showcase. The Plant Dungeon of VoidPath”

James: “It is one of the many not so hidden starters that appears at the odds of 1 in 100 accounts. Note that it is accounts and not those that chose Dungeon in their options. It is supposed to one of the harder Dungeons to play because many of their plants are herbs and have zero combat ability... Or so to speak.”

Cassidy: “Then why do people still choose it as a Dungeon?”

James: “The advantage of it is that it is full of status effects. Their combat abilities are reduced greatly. Recommended to be a Support race instead of a Starter race according to the Unofficial guidebook compiled by the Players themselves."

Butch: “But either way James, let us look at how that Dungeon is doing."

Jessie: “According to the maze layout I am not sure to be impressed or to say it is horrible. Complex maze and almost box shaped rooms that is sorely lacking in uniqueness. What kind of Player that gets a rare plant type starter chooses such crude layout. It can only be said to be annoying. Not to mention that it has Carpet Thorns. It is not combat type but it sure as hell rewards people with a fall every once in awhile.”

James: “Still, it is funny to watch. It is the 4th wave now as we talk and look at what the wave monsters are doing, they walk and fall while they fight their way through the Runners. The 3rd wave’s horned tiger has caught up to the 2nd wave’s goblins thanks to all that falling.”

Cassidy: “The first five Room is has only one offensive monster, Runners from the Talent, very weak and barely dealing any damage. The only redeeming quality is its numbers and its ability that allows it to attack or run away quickly. They are almost carpeting the entire room.”

Jessie: “That is true, according to the information that I have, each spawn point spawns 3-5 Runner each time and each room has plenty of space to spawn them. With the recent update, it can be even worse in density from what I know.”

Butch: “You must not forget about the Tumbleweed. They are the damage dealers in the pathways. 1 hit and it takes out one monster. To kill the 2nd one though it has to start tumbling again which takes it about 2 seconds. During that time, it is highly vulnerable. So Players, there is your chance when you face Tumbleweed. During the 2 seconds it is the best time to kill it. But do take note. This Dungeon Player is evil enough to put pitfalls everywhere so take double note on where you run.”

Cassidy: “From the looks of it, there will be nothing exciting that can happen while we watch what I call the Zergling Rush of the Runners, we will talk about what the wave monsters will face after this. First up we have the Chompers that comes from the normal Talent. They are stationary but they sure pack a bite. Any monster that comes close gets eaten.”

James: “It reminds me of Plants Versus Zombies all over again somehow.”

Butch: “But there is always a catch right Cass?”

Cassidy: “Yes. there is a catch. It can only chomp on one at anytime, it does not have a bottomless pit for stomach thankfully. It also has the option to spit out what it chomped on as a projectile or as a meat shield. Nifty hidden ability. Then there is the rare monster that came together with Runner, Sapling. It has 4 abilities, - Removing its roots from the ground, the Sapling is able to travel a short distance.(0.5mp/sec), - Settles its roots into the ground. It gains low amounts of hp and mp regen while rooted, - when rooted in the ground it can send its root to bind its enemy within a certain distance and - When not rooted to the ground it can send its root to whip its enemy within a certain distance. It is not a bad monster as it has a good amount of offensive and defensive combine. Just imagine having some saplings being uprooted while some of them being rooted. The rooted ones bind while the uprooted ones deal damage.”

James: ”Wow, another nifty combination all packed in 1.”

Jessie: “It is a Rare type for a reason. You have to be really lucky to get that at Tier 1.”

Cassidy: “Lastly we have the Sapper from the Talent, it is the other ranged unit of the first floor. It shoots a sting that slows the enemy. Powerful if used right.”

Butch: “Just in case people are wondering, we will not be talking about the bosses until we see them in combat though, why spoil the fun?”

James: “Looks like there will be nothing exciting happening with this Dungeon for now, let us skip forth and look at the next Dungeon.”

Cassidy: “Good luck to VoidPath. May the Gods be ever in his favor.”

*****

Upon hearing that, I could not help but give a good snicker. Yea sure. I am Hashi-Powered.

*****

Jessie: "Now let us spin the roulette wheel onces again. Lets see what do we have this time, will we be getting more of those interesting Dungeons to view? Come on people, keep the votes coming, higher votes means higher chance to see those Dungeons on the big screen!"

*kachin*

Butch does a pretend drumroll before continuing: “AAANNNNDDDD there we have it, we have the Mustela (weasels) Dungeon of Johnbonken. This is an interesting Dungeon I must say. Not for their fur but for their innate ability. These starting Tier 1 monsters have an annoyingly powerful ability. They have this ability called .”

Cassidy: “?”

James: “Yes, all that blings! Money, gold, weapons, trinkets and all the small items that are shiny. Something that is Jessie’s favourite.”

Jessie pouts at James before saying,: “Hey I do not have that much jewelleries. I only have 2 wardrobes full of them.”

Cassidy: “That does not sound that bad.”

James jokes and comment: “Yea 2 Walk-in wardrobes.”

Jessie turns at James in surprise: “How did you know they are Walk-in?

“…”

“…”

“…”

Cassidy hurriedly changed the topic to prevent more awkwardness: “Back to the main topic, what makes so special Butch?”

Butch: “ like its name is all about the glitters, the monster drop plenty of glittering objects. When you kill it you can get jewelleries and money but also on the down side you may just a broken shard of glass or scrap metal. It is like lottery. But it is rewarding to hunt.”

James: “That much is true. Good loot always comes with a price. The Tier 1 monsters are ferrets. They have the ability to burrow to regenerate health. You have to kill them before they burrow or you need to wait while they regenerate to full health.”

Jessie: “So while the wave monsters attack into the Dungeon, they would fight until their health is low and then burrow to full health before returning.”

Cassidy: “They look so cute though, kind of reminds me of the ferrets in the good classic game of Diablo 3. They follow the adventurer and pick up the gold coins as they travel”

Butch: “That I do agree they do remind me of them.”

James: “Enough about the ability but as we all can see on the screen, the wave monsters have breached the Tier 1 ferrets and have begun their assault on the Tier 1 minks. The ferret ability has instead become a liability as they reduce the efficiency of killing. Respawning is faster than Healing from how i see it.”

Butch: “I cannot deny that, against adventurers, being harder to kill is good but against monster waves, you want to deal more damage. Here, it allows the wave monsters to pass through too easily.”

James: “The minks are powerful too. They are faster and strike harder but they lose out a little in the accuracy. Not to mention those are just the starting Dungeon monsters, we have yet to look at the higher Tier Dungeon monsters and those other monster that come out of the talent that are deeper in the Dungeon.”

Jessie: “I think I am in love with the mink’s fur. Such pure white color."

Butch: “On a side note. We do not condone animal cruelty. We are the avid supporter of the ASPCA. If you want to buy, buy in-game. no animals would be harmed and you will still look good and save on wardrobe space.”

Cassidy: “That I agree. The best part is that in game, the feel is even better and Zero maintenance. No need to care about humidity and cleaning. Even after 10 years it will still feel as good as the day you bought it.”

James: “There is the 6th wave now, bugbears. Annoying critters I must say. Big and fully armored. high damage and armor but lacking very much in agility and speed. things are starting to get better and better, I heard wave 10 has a boss. Hopefully we will see the boss when we look at the next Dungeon.”

Butch: “Pity for this though, the Tier 1 Dungeon monsters holds no resistance to the 6th wave. The next contenders against the wave are the badgers. The Talent gave the Dungeon Honey Badger, a mob with status immunity and the Earth Badger which is like an upgrade to the ferrets and their burrow ability. The regeneration is also upgraded but might also means that the same flaw might happen with the Earth Badgers.”

Jessie: “That might be true but for now let us look at this Dungeon’s layout. Comparing between this layout and that of VoidPath, I would say that this wins hands down. everything is progressive. Not so much of a maze but more of an inward spiral. I really have no idea what he is trying to do with his maze. It runs everywhere with random connections. It makes pathing a very difficult chore.

Butch: “Perhaps that is his goal, to confuse people.”

James nods in agreement: “Perhaps.”

Jessie: “Back to this Dungeon, the Dungeon makes use of the speed of the monsters by leaving large areas for them to run and dash about. Not only that with the small size of the Dungeon Monsters, in each room has a much higher density of Dungeon Monsters.”

Butch: “That is true. The spawn rate and spawn cost is cheaper, cheaper usually respawns faster most of the time. The luxury of this type is usually the swarm tactic. Using numbers to win that is clearly being shown here.”

James: “While we are at it we shall look at the few interesting Dungeon Monsters that the waves will be facing after this. First up is the Tier 3 monster, Metal Wolverines with their strong defense and razor sharp claws coming from the Talent. They have the special ability - when blood is in the air they would receive a bonus to strength and/or agility with a debuff to wisdom and intelligence.”

Butch: “That seems quite strong once the battle starts.”

With a glint in his eyes, James comments: “That is not the end of it, there is hidden ability in this, there is a very small chance that this ability is also afflicted on the opponent on hit, just imagine a mage or healer being hit by it.”

Jessie winces upon hearing it: “Ouch! That is going to sting.”

James: “Next up in line is the Tier 3 monster Sea Otters of the Talent. They can equip armor and weapons. Their primary weapon is a spear and can fight on both land and water. They are most effective in water."

Butch: “They remind me of the main character of Otter 11.”

Cassidy: “I see no resemblance to that.”

Butch looks at Cassidy in surprise: “You actually know what I am talking about?”

Cassidy: “The main character in Otter 11 wears a suit. I do have a childhood just so you know.”

Butch: “That I cannot deny. But it reminds me of the main character because they both wear a suit.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

Butch: “What? It is a gag manga! I cannot help but just pay tribute to it when I can.”

James interject before the topic gets drawn too far away: “Either way, Players beware, this otter will steal your gear to use for 5 secs at a low chance. During this time you will be disarmed of it and will return to you unequipped.”

Butch: “This is feeling more and more like a den of thieves."

Jessie: “I already think it is, I can even think of the perfect boss combination already. The ferret and the otter. Ferret’s ability to steal your gold and all things shiny and otter’s ability to steal your gear, 10 minutes into the battle you will be wiped clean of everything. Perhaps it will also have the ability called hoarding.”

Butch: “Perhaps it will, perhaps it will not, he may not have gotten that combination when he made his first boss."

James: “Lets get the next show going shall we?”

Cassidy: "Meowth, use Payday."

*kachin*

James: "Ahh look at what we have here, Jessie. puppets. that is a interesting Dungeon. I do not recall seeing that Dungeon type in the selection at the very beginning, I wonder how the Player got that as a starter? "

Jessie: "Beats me, James. let us wait for the company to tell us. We commentators are getting a hard time with this new Dungeon classes. Forget the standard RPG classes, they and their derivative hidden classes are so last century quite literally. It has been the typical stuff. Cloth, leather, armored. Fighters, warriors, mages, druids, arcanist, beast folks. The combination has always been fixed to the 5 general types. ranged and melee, magic and physical, then there is also the summoners although summoners are usually classed as magic. Dungeon Players are much like Summoners. Spawn, kill, get stronger. Spawn more, kill more get even stronger. Rinse and repeat."

Butch: "I agree with you on this Jessie, Dungeon Players are much like summoners in this regard. The only fun is that summoners typically get to control 1-20 monsters the more they summon, the more fine control they need. The only luxury for summoners is that they have equipment to boost their monsters abilities."

Cassidy: "That depends on the game though, some summoners are based on equipments while some are based on skills and the summoned monsters are tied to the abilities of the Players"

James: "Speak of the devil, here come the report."

VRDraco - Puppet Dungeon

Unlocked via the secret keycode shared in the Den of Madness.

*****

*Den of Madness? Now where did I hear that from? *

*****

Butch: "Ha! that is a short report. it is more like a slip of paper than anything else."

James: "True, that is because all the remaining information is hidden and is for my eyes only."

Cassidy: "And why not our eyes?"

James: "Because my other name is Roger"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Butch: "Never mind. Does that mean the konami code ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA might work too?"

James: "Who knows? it just might work and give you a pet unicorn but just in case for those who are going to try, cheating is not recommended and the game will actually mock you for playing with the code."

Cassidy: "I am receiving plenty of comments in the channel about where to input the code so as not to disappoint people, can Mr Oh-So-Secretive tell us?”

James: “I will explain here. when everyone logs in for the first time,there is that piece of scrap paper on the floor. I am pretty sure not many people noticed that it even exist. Everyone would either be too excited to play the game and want to get in as soon as possible. If anyone had actually picked up the scrap paper and open it, you would see spaces for you to fill in to unlock something. Once you enter a correct code, the paper would burn and turn to ash."

Butch: "Pretty sure that many people would be deleting their accounts just to find that scrap of paper try for a code that works."

Jessie: "That much I agree. who would not want to unlock a hidden secret or bonus that no one else has."

Cassidy: “Now let us finally look at the Dungeon, pretty basic layout. The maze design is pretty typical. The classic spiral maze that ends at the center. It has made full use of the Dungeon space to make enough walking room to still poise a threat. Enough space to lets 2 character walk side by side while not bumping into each other.”

James: "I would say it is a evil design though, a space for 2 means that there is little space to dodge left and right.”

Cassidy: "That much is true, with the latest patch and server upgrade, the smallest unit of change is now 10cm. Meaning that there is more room to adjust for the Dungeon Players. It used to limit the Dungeon Players to the 1m grids. Now with the upgrade to the level of control to Dungeon design there is more hell for people to walk through."

Butch: “Back to the Dungeon, the concept of the Dungeon is different from the others, the talents are scaled towards equipment and material. Wood, iron, steel, axe, hammer, sword, shield and various armor. Each upgraded improves an aspect of the Puppets.”

Cassidy: “Let let us look at the basic puppets that have been trampled over already. Firstly, we have the Tier 1 basic wooden puppets, nothing fancy about them a humanoid with low combat ability. It does not have any form of equipment.”

James: “The next in line has the talent of . Like its name, it holds a wooden sword. Pretty lame but for a basic Tier 1 of Sword, it is still a fine option. The Tier 2 holds a copper sword, the Tier 3 a bronze sword and so on.

Butch: “Pretty brainless for each Tier but I must say that it does the job.”

James: “The skill pathing is different for this Dungeon. Unlike the other Dungeons, this Dungeon has the option of equipments. Meaning that it is up to the Dungeon Master to decide what each puppet wears and their skills. If done right, it can be a fairly lethal combination.”

Jessie: “So that means that each upgrade does not mean a new monster but just new equipment or skill for the Dungeon?”

James: “Nope. According to my report, there is still chance for others like a insectoid puppet or a beast form puppet.”

Butch nodded in agreement: “Hidden classes have hidden benefits.”

Jessie: “So now we shall look at the Dungeon once again, it is currently wave 8 and the Dungeon is moving like a well controlled orchestra. They have pushed past the first Boss that is a 4 armed puppet that wields 1 sword, 1 shield, 1 spear and 1 scimitar.”

James chuckles and comments: “If there are 3 heads and 6 arms, I will call dibbs on calling it Asura.”

Butch: “Then the elephant faced one would be Ganesha?”

Cassidy signs while rubbing her temple. “Boys will always be boys.”

Jessie then adds on: “Then the thousand armed would be GuanYin?”

Cassidy facepalms.

A moment of silence for the poor souls.

……….