Chapter 16.5: ZMI "Background Story"

Hello again, it’s been a while. The polls are surprisingly popular, and here I thought that nobody really cared about what the author did, but I guess I was wrong. While comments are nice, and make the author glad he continues writing, it is reviews and ratings that are required if he ever wants to get into the “big leagues”, but I digress.

I’m not here to talk about the author’s plight, I’m here to provide background information our captive audience wouldn’t know about because they do not live in the story world that Author-kun is trying to create. So I took it upon myself as busy as I am watching grass grow and everything, to convey to you this information.

One last thing before I begin, to everyone who answered my first riddle “correctly”, I must apologize. Even though I claimed to be #TheRealThing, I am actually #ACheapKnockOff. #TheReal is still hidden, but is present in the story. As an apology for lying I will provide you with a hint. Our fearless leader’s addiction to coffee is connected to #TheReal. Now that most astute of you will probably notice instantly, and for others the realization will be a slow process. As for those who don’t care, and want to be spoon fed the answer, they can wait until #TheReal decides to reveal himself.

Oh and the background information I will be providing is from the world’s prospective, and not our fearless leader’s. As much as I enjoy antagonizing him, I’m not so crude as to ruin Author-kun’s hard work just to do so, I am cultured after all. Now without further ado, onto the Background “story”

[Six Years Ago]

Source: Various across the Internet:

A popular rumor was circulating the internet, that a certain plot of land in a certain city was “cursed.” Without fail every business that is set up there goes out of business within a year. Even if they only open a branch in that location, the entire company went belly up.

In the past 30 years, a total of 57 business of all size collapsed because of the “curse.” As it was regarded as unwanted so the price of the plot of land devalued significantly until people had pay others in order for them to take it. Unfortunately, there was no one willing to take it because people feared that even owning it would cause their business to fail, so it was ultimately abandoned and the deed held by the city.

What could have possessed 57 businesses to gamble away their futures by setting up shop there? There was two reasons. The first was that this plot of land was smack dab in the middle of the city’s largest population center. If you take New York City’s and multiply its total population by 3 you would get the density of this population center in its heyday. So it was quite a prime piece of real estate.

The second reason is prior the “30 years of darkness” as some of the residences lovingly call this period of time, a single business occupied that spot for at least 200 years and continuously flourished. The city itself was said to have grown up around this business. It is still unknown 30 years later what caused this business to collapse after flourishing for so long, but all that is known is that it’s founders came from Japan, and it had been ran by their descendants ever since.

The 57 Businesses tried to recreate the prosperity the first business had enjoyed only to be consumed by the “curse.” When the 200 year old business died, it was like something in the city died alongside it. The spark of life that made this city great, and unique from other big cities was gone. Without its heart, the city entered into a state of slow decay.

People started moving to other cities as there was less employment opportunities available in the city. Most of the children born during the “30 years of darkness” left the city as soon as they were of age because they felt it was “too boring.” Eventually the only ones left in the city were those who remembered how it was in its heyday, those who were too young to leave yet, and those who stayed to tend to their aging parents. Most of them hoping beyond hope that the city would regain its lost spark.

[City hall: Six years ago]

Testimony from secretary working at City hall at the time:

It was a sleepy afternoon when a man walked through the front doors. Now his pace was neither fast nor slow but seemed to be filled with purpose.

‘How strange.’ I thought, as it has been a long time since I’ve seen anyone with purpose in this sleepy city, so I scrutinize him further as he approached me.

He looked young, maybe 16-18 but there was nothing special about his looks save his eyes. His eyes were another story. His left eye was a shade of pale green that seem like it could stare into your soul. While his right eye was a beautiful hazel that seemed to shift colors as the angle of light changed.

Sitting on his shoulder was a young child age 5-6 and was wearing a fox mask that covered its entire face.

‘Did they just come from a festival or something?’ I thought as the man came up to the desk.

Man: “Hello Miss…?” He asks as soon as he reaches me.

Karen: “Karen. My name is Karen.” I say calmly.

Man: “Karen…” He says as he rolls my name over his tongue. I take back what I said earlier about his eyes being the only things going for him. His voice is amazing! It hits all the right parts of my brain…

He smiles at me as if he knows what I’m thinking.

‘Oh my god! Did he find out? What should I do, what can I do?’ I think frantically and as I was trying to think of what to do next, his next words caused me to lose all of my higher brain functions. It wasn’t until after several hours pass that I remembered what happened next.

Man: “While Miss Karen may be of legal age, I am not but I can still whisper sweet nothings into your ear if you so desire?”

Karen: “Yes Please!” I almost scream out in excitement.

The man smiles and caresses the back of my hand, and as my mind is reeling from the physical contact he asks me a question.

Man: “If I may, can I sit down with you so you can sit on my lap? That way I can whisper my sweet nothings into your ear easier?”

Karen: “Absolutely!” I get up and let him take my seat before sitting down on his lap. “I’m not heavy am I?” I ask him as blood rushes to my face.

Man: “Absolutely not. You are as light as a feather. While we may be connected like this, if only I was a little bit older then we could be like this even without our clothes and truly be connected wouldn’t we?” He says directly into my ear and stimulates my brain to think of all the naughty things that we could have done if he was just a little older and even more blood rushes to my face.

Karen: “Why did you have to be underage!?!” I cry out. My head spinning from all the things that could’ve happened and all the blood in my head.

He wraps his gently around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I thought he was going to kiss me but instead he whispers something in my ear.

Man: “Do you know about the cursed plot of land?” Warning bells were going off in my head but I wasn’t my usual self so they went unheeded.

Karen: “Yeah I do, we keep the deed inside the city hall vault.” I say absentmindedly. To prevent other business from falling prey to the “curse”, the governor locked up the deed inside city hall’s vault and wouldn’t sell or give it away in fear of decaying the city’s already low reputation. But due to the situation, I conveniently forgot that.

Man: “I see. Then is it possible for me to have it? After all nobody else wants it?” He whispers into my ear.

Karen: “I really shouldn’t be giving it way…” I hesitated. Even my addled brain was telling me don’t do it.

Man: “Then, how about for a kiss?” He whispers seductively.

Karen: “Deal!” I scream out, his words blowing away all my previous hesitation. I don’t remember exactly what I did to get it, all I remember is I did and when I returned he was waiting for me with his arms opened wide. Once we got it signed over to his name, he gave me a deep thank you kiss, and he even used his tongue!

Of course I passed out in the middle, as the stimulation of his tongue rampaging the inside of my mouth was just too much for me to bear. By the time I woke up, which happened to be a few hours later, I was having a really good dream, he was already gone along with the deed to the “cursed” land.

I left the city a month later but I was never able to find that mismatched eyed man again. Somewhere along the line I had forgotten about the child that was sitting on his shoulder the entire time as well.

[5 years ago]

Excerpt from Testimony of Construction Foreman who was contracted to help build ZMI, name left unstated for privacy.

I first met the kid when he was 18-19. Which was early last year. At that time there was little construction going on so I was worried for my lads (workers) futures when he strides in and sits down in the chair in front of my desk.

He was wearing a nice suit and tie and looked real fancy, but that didn’t deceive me one bit. I knew he was a kid through and through.

Foreman: "Get out of here kid, I have no time to play around with yer.”

Kid: “I heard you were the best when it came to building things, and I am in need of the best.”

Foreman: “You want to build something? Alright then let me see what ya got.” I say to humor him. I’ll take a look at what he’s got, laugh at his pathetic attempt to be an architect and then throw him out. That was the plan, or at least it was until he showed me his “plans.”

Kid: “Thank you for at least giving it a glance.” He puts one of the two briefcases he brought with him on my desk and opens it. Inside was a huge stack of papers. “Pardon me, but I might need to use your entire desk.”

Foreman: “Go ahead,” I say in amusement, I push my chair back and stand up. I want to see what could take so much room.

Kid: “Thank you.” The kid says again as he takes out the sheaf of paper and stands up himself. He moves his briefcase to the chair he previously occupied and started placing papers one by one on my desk.

By the time he was finished laying them out I was staring at him in bewilderment.

Foreman: “Kid, that’s not a building, it’s a bloody city!”

Kid: “I know, but most of it is already done.” He says tapping the middle of it and that is when I realized it was the city we were currently in. At the center where the “cursed” land was stood a building that wasn’t there before.

Forman: “You want to build on the “cursed” land?” I ask incredulously.

Kid: “That’s just the beginning of what I need you to help me build.” He says as he flips over all the papers and reveals what was on the other side. The city’s underground was clearly mapped and was in his blueprints there was a underground system that spread throughout the entire city’s underground.

Foreman: “Do you understand what it takes to build underground, and the dangers it poses?” I ask him slightly taken back at the level of detail.

Kid: “Of course, I also have a manual on how it should be done in order to done with safety in mind.” He says as he grabs and hands me a “manual” from his briefcase.

As I read through his “manual” my jaw drops open and hangs there. It is indeed a step by step guide on what needs to be done in order for the underground construction to proceed smoothly, and most of the information that needed to be acquired has already been provided.

Foreman: “Kid, assuming I do take up this job, I’m not staying I will, just theoretically, how much time do you give us to complete it in?” I ask him then close my mouth.

Kid: “One year.” He says calmly.

Foreman: “One year!?!” I explode. “Do you know how long a normal building takes to build? And you’re asking us to do a whole damn city revitalization in only a single year?!?” I yell at him. Yet he just stands there with a serene smile on his face, unfazed.

Kid: “If your boys aren’t enough, just hire more.” He says nonchalantly.

Foreman: “Do you know how much that would cost? The price tag would be astronomical!” I say in disbelief.

‘What is this kid thinking? Money doesn’t just grow on trees.’ Is what I was thinking, but his next actions just blew that thought straight out of my head.

Kid: “Money is no object.” He grabs and puts his second briefcase onto my desk and opens it facing towards me.

My jaw drops again, for that briefcase was filled to the brim with stacks of Benjamin.

Foreman: “Kid, who are you? What are you?”

Kid: “I’m just someone with a little more time on my hands than most, and more money than sense.” He says with a shrug. “By the way, there is 50 million U.S. dollars in there, use that for construction costs and payroll for those you hire. Oh and on the bottom is a schedule I whipped up to maximize time utilization, after all we only have 8760 hours left.”

Foreman: “What about the permits and the rights to dig, and all the other legal matters?”

Kid: “They are already taken care of, and if your find your funds lacking, call this number, and I’ll bring some more, but I require proof that you already spent everything.” He says as he puts down his “card” with only his number on it. “Oh and no shoddy work. I will be able to tell.” He gives me a glare that chills me down to the core.

Foreman: “You have my word, it will be my best work.” I say shakily. He must have been satisfied with that because his glare abated though my shaking did not.

Kid: “For your sake, I hope it is.” He says as he turns around and walks out my office.

I’m not sure if it was a trick of the light, or something but I thought I saw a child sitting on his should as he exited my office, but I dismissed it as a figment of my imagination.

[IRS: Three years ago]

Excerpt from Interview with IRS Agent in charge of auditing ZMI tax returns:

Interviewer: “You were in charge of the audit on ZMI’s books correct?”

IRS Agent: “That is correct.”

Interviewer: “What were the IRS trying to find.”

IRS Agent: “We were looking for everything, any sign that the books were being cooked.”

Interviewer: “Did you find anything?”

IRS Agent: “Not a single thing. We didn’t just do a reasonable assurance on them, we did an absolute assurance on them. We examined their assets, did a transaction by transaction check, and verified everything we could think of but we found nothing.

Interviewer: “Isn’t “Absolute Assurance” feasible impossible?”

IRS Agent: “It is but the state of their documentation was amazing, the level of detail it contained made it extremely easy to verify and check everything. So much so it only took us 2 days to get through 2 years of documentation.”

Interviewer: “Did ZMI take offence at your audit?”

IRS Agent: “That was the creepy part. They willingly handed over everything they had at a moment’s notice and then continued working as if it never happened.”

Interviewer: “If you didn’t find anything what was it that triggered a red flag?”

IRS Agent: “For two years running, ZMI has made zero net profit yet it is still growing.”

Interviewer: “Is that a problem for a not-for-profit Organization such as ZMI to not make money?”

IRS Agent: “No, a not-for-profit over the long run doesn’t make money. It usually makes a little money one year, and losses a little money the next year based on how the economy is. Only rarely do they break even and even then they still make a tiny bit of money.”

Interviewer: “Then what was the problem?”

IRS Agent: “ZMI has broken even two years running and has made absolutely zero money. They made actual zero dollars in net profit each year which is highly irregular, if impossible. That is why the IRS did an audit on them, something weird is going on we don’t know what but we will find out. Hear that ZMI! We are on to you!”

[Two years ago]

Excerpt from Patent holder of the 90% efficient solar panel, name withheld for privacy reasons:

Interviewer: “So what made you try to come up with a better solar panel?”

Patent Holder: “To be honest, a friend of mine put me up to it.”

Interviewer: “A friend?”

Patent Holder: “Yeah, about four years ago, he told me if I could invent a highly efficient solar panel he would find a way to revitalize the city.”

Interviewer: “What happened then?”

Patent Holder: “I thought he was joking at the time, so I said, “If you fund it, I’ll do it.” All he said was, “I see.” He didn’t bring the topic up for a few days so I though he I thought he forgot about it. But like a week later he came to me with a small child on his should wearing a dog mask that covered it’s face and brought the matter back up. He made me add that if I do invent it, then I have to allow others to make if it they want to use it or have to sell it at cost if they tried to sell it.”

Interviewer: “Did you agree?”

Patent Holder: “Of course, I didn’t expect him to drop half a mill on my lap and say if I needed more for research costs just ask. It was like a really bad joke.”

Interviewer: “What happened next?”

Patent Holder: “He told me a few hints on how I could get started at making it more efficient before taking his leave.”

Interviewer: “Did he say where he was going?”

Patent Holder: “He said he was going to keep his end of the promise.”

[One year ago]

A recorded conversation of two Business Analysts discussing ZMI’s future on television:

Bob: “So Jim, what do you think of ZMI in that one city?”

Jim: “You mean that non-for-profit that keeps breaking even every year since its conception?”

Bob: “The very one. It seems to be a hot topic in the business world right now.”

Jim: “In my personal opinion, I think the whole thing is a fraud. General Knowledge dictates that if it is too good to be true, then it probably isn’t.”

Bob: “I don’t know, the IRS has performed complete audits on it each year since the second and each one has come up with nothing.”

Jim: “They are obviously not looking hard enough. No business can’t produce and sell electricity, sell fresh food stuffs of all varieties, and provide transportation without making money somewhere. The money has to be going somewhere, and my bet is the founder.”

Bob: “That’s the thing, they did a complete background check, an audit, and even hired a private investigator to investigate his life but they found absolutely no dirt on him. In fact he is currently a student who has unpaid student loans!”

Jim: “That’s impossible!”

Bob: “They confirmed it was him as he sometimes leaves his apartment with a child on his shoulder.”

Jim: “Then he must be funneling money into child support or something!”

Bob: “Nope, no girlfriend, no wife, and never had one. And it seems that he adopted that child he picked off the streets."

Jim: “What is he a saint?!?”

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