《Ace of all Trades》Chapter 6: Playing the ‘Game’ a Little Too Well.
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Chapter 6: Playing the ‘Game’ a Little Too Well.
While I am talking with Jessica-san, Alice-san approaches us with our food in tow. Seeing Jessica-san speaking to me so animatedly causes her to cry out foul play.
“Mom! What are you doing? Trying to get ahead of me like that? I saw him first!”
‘So they are mother and daughter. That does explains the family resemblance.’
‘What a delightful twist of fate. If you play your cards right, you can pick your choice. Of course, if destiny is on your side, you might be able to bang both of them and come out with the harem ending.’
‘Why do I get the feeling the deck is stacked against me?’
“I wasn’t trying to get ahead of anybody. I was just bringing Mr. Robert a refill of coffee, when I asked him why everyone was staring at him. That is all.”
“Truly?”
“Truly.”
“Is that true, Honored Customer?”
“Yes.”
“Then mother, I will believe you. But know this, if you are my rival I will not hold back, because I intend to win.”
‘Tl;Dr: She wants your D.’
‘You do know she is considered jailbait, right?’
‘Marry the mom, get permission to bang them both, bang both apart or together doesn’t matter, live happily ever after. Nuff said.’
‘Why do I even bother?’
“Honored customers, here is your order. One kid’s meal for the little one, and a burger medium well for the not so little one. Please enjoy your meal, and if you need anything else, please do not hesitate to ask.”
Giving her mother a death glare she left to tend other tables.
“What am I going to do with that girl?”
‘You could give her to me, so I can bang some sense into her?’
“I am sure she is just at that age.”
‘What age that might be I have no idea.’
“Probably. Well, I better get back to work.”
“I am sorry for having kept you so long then.”
“It’s fine. I was on my break.”
‘It’s official, she wants your D too. Harem ending confirmed.’
“I am honored that you think I am worthy enough of your time to spend your precious rest time on me.”
Jessica-san’s face colors slightly.
“Erm… It’s just that… You’re a single parent too. Yeah that’s it. As your sempai as a single parent, I just wanted to make sure you were adjusting well to life as a single parent.”
“Thank you for your concern Jessica-sempai. Since you are my sempai, here is my number in case you feel the need to impart any further knowledge about the ways of successfully being a single parent.”
“Just so you know, my advice isn’t cheap.”
“Of course, Jessica-sempai. I am prepared to pay you back even with my body if need be.”
“… With your body?” Jessica-sempai asks her flush deepening.
“Of course, I mean cooking, cleaning, and other manual labor tasks. Did you have something else in mind, Jessica-sempai?”
“N-no, it’s just that I have to get back to work now, so please excuse me.”
Jessica-sempai was bright red as she returned to the kitchen.
‘Smooth. Real smooth. Not only did you give her your number, you made her think of all the dirty things you two could do together under the guise of ‘payment’. Very nice.’
‘Who’s depravity do you think you are currently tainted with right now?’
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‘Master, I have seen the light. You are the epitome of depravity. Simply by using innocent everyday words you can corrupt even the most purest of people. I am in awe sir.’
‘If you know then begone. Everything you have been spouting has already been processed by me before you even thought to say it. But there is a time and a place for everything, and if you say the right thing at the wrong time or even the wrong thing at the right time, disasters will occur.’
‘Very well Master. I shall sit back and watch as you masterfully spread your depravity around the world.’
‘That acting was well done, Sir.’
‘You think so too?’
‘She gave you the perfect opportunity and you took it and ran with it, and thanks to that you were even able to silence him.’
‘Indeed, although I did enjoy Jessica-sempai’s company, and if she is not averse to those ‘dirty things’ and invites me? As a man, how can I not eat the meal set out before me?’
‘But what about the daughter, Sir?’
‘That is a non-issue. Jailbait doesn’t tempt me in the slightest. Only when she becomes a full adult will I even consider her, and again only if they willing.’
‘Your soul is darker than sin, Sir.’
‘Thank you. If it wasn’t do you think it would hold “Him” in?’
‘No, Sir. If it wasn’t then I would be talking to “Him” right now and not you.’
‘As long as you know.’
‘I shall take my leave now, Sir.’
‘Ah. Quiet at long last.’
Dear readers, I must apologize for my bad habit has shown up once more. If anyone of the opposite gender shows a slightest interest in me, I will attempt to seduce them. Of course I make sure they are of legal age (18+) first.
I can’t have the law getting in the way of my fun now can I? Of course nothing naughty ever comes of it because I hold back. What’s wrong with enjoying some nice clean dirty fun? But I digress.
Something else I must mention, because my other personalities are tainted by my own depravity, when the taint finally leaves them, it takes with it the memories that were created while they were tainted. Basically it leaves them as they were before they were infected.
That said, I remember everything because it is my own taint, and I can even recall the memories of things left unsaid, unfortunately to do so I must take a dip into the depravity itself and that just invites trouble. So what enters the black hole, stays in the black hole.
Since it was finally quiet in my head, I was able to enjoy my meal at a leisurely pace.
While we were eating, other waiters/waitresses came by delivering desserts and other sweets that this restaurant served. When I say that I didn’t order this, they reply that the Miss from such and such table ordered it for us and that they would be picking up the bill for it.
“I see, tell them we said, “Thank you",” is what I tell the waiters/waitresses who delivers the said items.
I am never averse to spending other people’s money. Does that make me a leech? Or perhaps a gold digger? Meh, names are not important. Also I knew this was going to happen at the beginning so I planned accordingly.
On another note, the food was really good, and the service was great. Maybe I can get some extra ‘service’ from Jessica-sempai later, but this is not the time nor the place for it.
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“Finished eating Zash?”
“Hai~”
He had just finished drinking his 11th chocolate milkshake and had already eaten 15 orders of various desserts.
‘What a glutton. Whose son is he anyway? Oh wait, he is pretending to be mine, oopsie.’
Zash jumps on my shoulder and I get up. I quickly make my way towards the cashier to pay for our meal. It just so happens that Jessica-sempai was tending the cashier.
‘Just what exactly is her job?’
‘Maybe she just wants to get your attention by being “everywhere”?’
‘Well, it’s working. Still tainted?’
‘Yep.’
‘Kay~’
Once I reach the cashier, I greet my sempai.
“Hello Jessica-sempai. Working the register this shift?”
“As you can see, Mr. Robert.”
“I can see many things, and have many things I still want to see, but for now I just want to pay my bill.”
Jessica-sempai’s face colors slightly when I say “many things I still want to see,” I wonder what she thought I meant by that. Although judging by her flush, it was something naughty. Though I must applaud her professionalism because she continued as if nothing happened albeit slightly redder.
“Very well. May I see your bill?”
“Here you go.” I hand her the bill that was left on my table for what we ordered. Of course, being an accountant, I double checked everything for accuracy.
“How was the food?” Jessica-sempai asks while ringing up my ticket.
“Everything I had was really delicious. It’s a pity that the one thing I truly wanted to taste was not on the menu.”
“I-I see.” Her blush got even deeper.
“So this is the young man who got both my daughter and grand-daughter all hot and bothered.”
“I am not all hot and bothered, Dad!” Jessica-sempai says getting even redder than before.
Ignoring his daughter, he continues.
“You also managed to pad my Restaurant’s sales for this month. I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to turn what was looking to be a slow day into one of the best ones to date.”
“You must be the owner of this fine establishment. While I cannot comment on your daughter’s or grand-daughter’s disposition towards me, I can safely say it was my son’s ability and not my own that filled your restaurant.”
“Your modesty does you credit, but if you had not made your son clearly visible, then this outcome wouldn’t have occurred.”
‘Have I been seen through?’
“Well regardless of your methods, and motivations, you have done my business a great service, as thanks your meal is on the house.”
“I am afraid that I must refuse.”
“Oh? May I ask why?”
“I cannot accept what I didn’t rightfully earn. It may have been my positioning that enabled the crowds to be drawn in, but if Zash wasn’t here with me, then all the positioning in the world wouldn’t help me. So any thanks belong to Zash, and Zash alone.”
“Modest to a fault, I see. Very well. Instead of a free meal, I will give you guys a 30% discount on everything your order from this restaurant for the rest of your natural lives.”
“Please forgive me if I am mistaken, but is this merely a ploy to get us to come back and in turn bring the crowds that Zash and I can draw when together, which provides your restaurant with extra income?”
It seems that I said something funny because Jessica-sempai’s father starts laughing.
“You hit the nail right on the head.” He says while still laughing.
‘If this was an Eroge, this kind of event would lead to you getting permission to marry his daughter.’
‘Yeah, but this isn’t an Eroge, this is real life.’
“I am starting to like this guy more and more. Jessica, I can now see why you are so besotted with him.”
“I am not besotted! I am just a tad bit interested, as a sempai is with their kohai.”
“Sure, sure. Robert, that is your name right?”
“Yes sir.”
He grabs my hand and shakes it somewhat fierce. While I was trying to regain my balance, he started talking to Zash.
“And you must be Zash.”
“Hai~”
“Zash, do you know what a fist bump is?”
“Nope~”
“Then let me teach you.”
He holds out his closed fist towards Zash, and when Zash follows suit, he gently collides their fists together and moves away.
“And that is the basic fist pump.”
“Dad! What are you doing?”
“What? Can’t I teach my future grand-child-in-law a few things?”
““Wait. What?”” Jessica-sempai and I say in unison.
“I have decided to have Robert here, inherit the family business.”
“But Sir, I thought only family could inherit a family’s business, and I am not part of your family.”
“True enough, but that is easily remedied.”
‘Don’t tell me…’
“You can simply marry my daughter, or if she is unwilling, my grand-daughter when she comes of age. I do believe you said you would take her if her feelings haven’t changed when she turns 18.”
“I did but…”
“Then it’s settled.”
“What’s settled Grandpa?” Alice-san asks coming to the register.
‘Oh sweet Jesus, no…’
“Ah Alice. You know Robert, correct?”
“Honored Customer? That is correct.”
“I have decided I want him as part of the family, so I give you and your mother the go ahead to seduce him.”
“Really Grandpa?!” She asks jump hugging him.
“Really. In fact, if you two both want him, I give you both the go ahead to jump his bone.”
“Father!”
“Only Alice, you have to wait two years before you can ride him okay? I don’t want my future son-in-law to be sent to prison. Anything else is fair game as long as it is in private, okay?”
“But then Momma will get ahead of me!”
“It’s fine. If your Mom becomes his wife, you can become his mistress.”
“Father! What are you teaching my daughter?!”
“I agree, you need to at least wait until she is 18 to tell her these kinds of things.”
“Mr. Robert?”
“Ah Jessica-sempai, can I please pay already so I can leave before your father and daughter try to drag me back in?”
“Ah right.”
I had my money to Jessica-sempai and she closes my tab and hands me my change and receipt. As I was receiving my receipt, I beckon her closer, and then whisper into her ear.
“Regardless of what your father says or wants, if a beautiful woman such as yourself wants to marry someone like me, I will by no means say no.”
Jessica-sempai’s face quickly dyes a deep scarlet making her that much cuter. I then take the opportunity to make my exit using the resulting chaos to make a clean escape. (Basically when I left, those who were watching Zash also tried to follow, but being so many to leave at once cause a bottleneck and allowed me to escape unnoticed.)
Zash jumps from my shoulder to my head as we head back home. Smiling, I lift a close fist and he give me a fist bump.
“Was the food good Zash?”
“Hai~”
“We might go there again, but I am a little afraid of what might happen if we go back.”
“Hai~”
With that, we make it home with further incident, save for the conversation I had with my other tainted personalities on the way home.
Continue Reading?No
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