Chapter 5: Corruption

While I was talking to Erica-san about Royal Road, Zash pops in and jumps on top of my lap. Jane soon came in after looking for him, and when she hears the conversation topic she quickly jumps in.

So right now I am talking with two ‘beauties’ (although Jane doesn’t qualify as eye-candy like her mother, she isn’t that hard on the eyes, just on the ears), sounds like every man’s dream right? Unfortunately, one of them hates me, and the other one is happily married, and me being the gentleman I am, will not go where I am unneeded or unwanted as the case may be, but I digress.

Once we’ve hit upon all topics known to the three of us about Royal Road and fully explore them, several hours have already passed, and James had already returned.

With our current conversation topic exhausted, their business starting to pick up, and me wearing out my welcome, I felt it was time for me to take my leave.

“Erica-san, Jane-san. It has been a pleasure talking with both of you, but as time progresses more and more things that need to be done accumulate. So this is why we must part.”

“Eww. What’s with the honorifics and flowery language? You are giving me the creeps. Please go die?”

“Jane! That’s not nice. Apologize to him.”

“I am sorry that you are such a creep.” Jane says then dashes off out of the office.

“I apologize on her behalf.”

“It is fine. I did it on purpose to draw her ire.”

“Oh? May I ask why?”

“If I didn’t, she would have tried to abduct Zash before making a run for it.”

“Knowing my daughter that is possibly true. Thank you for humoring this old lady’s curiosity.”

“Now, now. You aren’t old yet. You still have your beauty, your health, a loving husband, and a kind daughter.”

“Since when have you been such a sweet talker?”

“Never. I do not have much talent when it comes to that, so I merely speak of what I see. Also what your husband said earlier was correct: he is very lucky to have you as his wife. If you were still single, even I would propose to you, even knowing that I would be turned down instantly.”

“Even if I was over 10 years older than you?”

“Even if you were 20 years older. But of course let us leave this as idle chatter, bcause you have a loving husband that you love very much, and I am but a lowly college student with very limited life prospects.”

“Robert, I wish you would have a pleasant evening.”

“Of course Erica-san. May you have a pleasant evening as well. Oh and tell James I said thanks and goodbye.”

“Very well.”

“Come Zash, it is time to go.”

“Kay~”

Bidding Erica-san farewell once more I exit James’ office. Sitting at the reception desk was Jane, who was probably typing something for her father.

I try to sneak out but the bell attached to the doorway rings when I open it drawing her attention.

“Please come back soon. And I am saying that to Zash, you can go rot in hell for all I care.”

Though my back was turned to her, I knew she was most likely preforming the Akanbe. (Basically it is performed by showing the red of one of your eyes and sticking your tongue out at someone. It’s a very immature taunt.)

“Of course, I love you too. Oh and please don’t show me your lovely tongue otherwise I might just be tempted to suck on it.”

“Eh? Eh! … EH!?!”

Chuckling on the inside at her confusion/disgust, I take my leave. (What can I say, I also have a bad personality.)

It was already afternoon and I was starting to get hungry, and probably Zash was too. I look in my wallet and see a couple of twenties.

‘This should be enough to buy Zash and me something to eat. If we attempted to go home now, it will take another three hours and I will still need to prepare the food.’

I didn’t think I would have the energy to do so, so I concluded that we would eat out for lunch. I brace myself for the coming storm and head to the nearest family restaurant. Thankfully the one I entered was mostly empty.

“A table for two?”

“Yes please.”

“Will he need a high chair?”

“No thank you, he will be sitting on my lap.”

“Very well, please follow me and I will have you seated.”

“Thank you, might we have a table with a clear view of the window?”

“Of course, right this way.”

We follow the greeter to our table. I sit down facing the window and Zash jumps off my shoulder and lands on my lap.

“Your son is very agile for his age. How old is he?”

“He will be six next month, but he has already learned to talk and read.”

“That is amazing, what is his name?”

“His name is Zash.”

“Well Zash, here is a menu for you, and feel free to order anything you like. I am sure your papa can afford it.”

“Is that true Papa?” Zash asks looking up at me.

“Up to an extent yeah.” I say smiling down at him.

“Okay~” Zash busied himself looking through the menu.

“And here is your menu, Mr.…?”

“Robert.”

“Okay Mr. Robert. Here is your menu and you can find the drinks on the back. Your waitress will be coming shortly to take your order.” She turns to leave when I call out to her.

“Miss. May I get your name?”

“I am called Jessica.”

“Thank you Jessica-san. Zash say thank you.”

“Thank you Jessica-nee-chan.”

“You are both quite welcome. And if you don’t mind me asking, I do not see a ring on your finger so are you a single parent?”

“I am…”

“Then I wish you the best of luck in raising young Zash. I am a single parent myself, so I know how difficult it can be raising a child alone.”

“I see. Then may the Lord’s blessings chase you down and over take you.”

“Amen. Now if you excuse me, I have to get back to work.”

“Of course, it was a pleasure speaking with you.”

“Likewise. Zash don’t cause your father too much trouble, okay?”

“Kay~”

Jessica-san leaves and returns to her post. I read through the menu to see what they have, while I wait.

‘You know, something about her rubs me the right way, if you know what I mean?’

‘I will be drinking coffee, but what should I eat?’

‘Your crude jokes are lewd, but I do agree she is easy on the eyes and seems to have a nice personality.

‘Totes a MILF’

“Zash what do you want to drink?”

“This.” Zash points to something on the menu.

“Sure, I’ll get you that. Have you decided on what you want to eat yet?”

Zash shakes his head.

“Alright, keep looking until something strikes your fancy.”

“Kay~”

‘He should ask her out.’

‘For once I agree with you, and maybe he will get to bang her on the first date? She doesn’t look easy, but you never know~’

‘SILENCE!’

‘…’

‘…’

‘I will not have you disrespecting Jessica-san in my mind. She has it a lot tougher than me because on my end it is all a sham while she is probably struggling to make ends meet.’

‘10/10, would bang again.’

‘What did I just say?’

‘Well technically, you “thought” it, because you didn’t say it out loud.’

‘Unbelievable, my own mind betrays me.’

I am sorry readers, but I must confess something. In the depths of my soul where “He” sleeps, is a black hole of depravity. There is irony in this though, it is the very weight of this depravity that keeps him bound within, but I digress.

Somehow, though it defies the laws of physics, though I am not sure how much physics applies to the world of the subconscious, this depravity bubbles up and infects my other personalities, and what you have just witness is what happens.

Eventually the gravity draws it back into the hole, but until that time, I must endure and deal with the consequences.

*Fu…*

While I was thinking about what I wanted to eat, our waitress arrived.

“Hello? Are you ready to order?”

Both of us look up in unison, and I saw that she was visibly shaking. She was probably holding herself back from jumping on Zash.

‘Mhm look at those knockers. I would play with them so much they would grow twice as big.’

‘I really hate when they become like this.’

“Ah yes, I would like some coffee please.”

“I will have to put on a fresh pot, if that is okay with you?”

“Yes that is fine.”

‘Alice huh? I would love to dive into her hole.’

‘Now, now. We can’t behead her maiden head now can we?’

‘Et Tu Brute?’

“And Zash will be having a chocolate milk shake.”

“Okay, they will be out shortly.”

Alice turns around and leaves our table.

'But seriously, Dat ass. I would tap that all night long.'

‘All night~’

‘All night long~’

‘All night~’

‘Has everyone been corrupted?!?’

‘I remain unaffected sir, at least for now’

‘That’s good, at least I’m not alone against the three stooges.’

‘That was quite insulting sir.’

‘Your right, I shouldn’t have insulted them like that.’

‘No I mean you were insulting the three stooges. They are at the level of “Dumb, Dumber and Dumber-er”.’

‘I see. If possible can you try to keep the others quiet until the taint passes?’

‘I will try my best, but I am limited on what I can actually do.’

‘Just try to keep them silent until I leave this restaurant.’

‘Affirmative.’

“Here are you drinks.”

“Thank you Alice-san.”

She places our drinks in front of us. While she is doing so her double D’s are swinging just before my eyes. Thankfully my mind is mercifully silent. It seems he is doing work.

“Um… are you two ready to order?”

“Yes we are. Zash show Alice-san what you want.”

Zash flips to the kid section and points to a kid’s meal.

“One kid’s meal and for you good sir?”

“I will be having this burger, medium-well.”

“Um…”

“Yes?”

“Right now, we are having a special. Order the combo and you get to take home your server free of charge.”

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen, sir.”

“If your feelings haven’t changed when you reach 18, I will take you home with me.”

“Thank you sir! I will go place your order now.”

*Fu…*

‘If it is not one thing it’s another.’

“Nice work handling her.”

I look up and see Jessica-san standing next to my table, in her hand was sugar and cream.

“Thank you, I was worried I would have to ask Alice-san to get them for me.”

“You’re welcome, and do forgive her, she was only hired last week and is somewhat scared of men. That is why I was surprised when she said that to you.”

“I was surprised as well.”

“Did you mean what you said?”

“About what?”

“About taking her home with you when she reaches 18.”

“I doubt her feelings will last for two years, but if they do, I will reconsider it at that time. Until then, she will just remain a cute waitress at a restaurant I went to.”

“I see. So I still have a chance then.” She said to herself.

“Hmm? I didn’t catch that last part. Can you repeat it?”

“I was just asking if I could take your menus since you no longer need them.”

“Oh, of course. Here you go.” I hand Jessica-san my menu and Zash follows suit.

“You are a smart boy aren’t you Zash?” She said while rubbing his head. He seemed content.

‘I think she… itai (ouch).'

‘Sorry about that, he tried to escape.’

“I best go check on Alice. We don’t want her misplacing your order now, do we?”

“No. No we don’t.”

Jessica-san walks off to the kitchen.

With the shield called menus gone, Zash was full view of the outside world and due to the power that is invested solely in Zash, the restaurant soon became packed with female customers all looking at me, well more specifically Zash.

“Wow this place filled up fast. Why is everyone looking at you? And more coffee?”

“Let us just say they all want the cuteness that is Zash for themselves, and yes please.”

“I see.” Jessica-san says dumbfounded and tops off my coffee.

“It’s worse when I am alone with him.”

“How so?”

While I wait for Alice-san to return with our food I talk with Jessica-san about the troubles Zash and I go through whenever we leave our apartment together.

Continue Reading?No