The sun begins to crest the horizon and the first rays of dawn filter through the floorboards of the old house above my entrance. I check over my work one last time before the big debut. My layout consists of three rooms and one corridor, starting with a sandstone archway built into the wall of the basement in which I first emerged. The stones of the arch and the walls of the tunnel beyond glow with a very dim yellow light such that the interior is never completely dark. The lighting might be enough for a human to make out the shape of the walls, but they would need torches to see anything but the most basic shapes. Despite the gloomy interior a number of thorny shrubs and grasses flourish in the chambers.

The first chamber is a simple square, about 20 feet on each side, with another hallway on the opposite wall. The hallway makes a sharp turn to the right just a few feet inside, obscuring the next chamber from view. Inside the chamber is a squad of three Dire rats hiding in the brush. I instruct them to lie very still and very quiet until the humans pass them, then jump out and go for the ankles as viciously as they can. Hopefully with the darkness and the cover they will manage to wound somebody at least.

The corridor between the chambers has a tripwire at ankle height halfway across. The plant fiber cord runs through a channel in the wall to a hollow in the ceiling where it loops through a hole in the top of a sandstone block. The hole where the tripwire enters the wall has a sharp stone knife on either side so that the cord will be cut if it gets pushed either way. If the cord breaks the block will drop from the ceiling, hopefully on someone's head. The walls of the corridor are set with square sandstone tiles, two of which conceal hollow nooks with Dire rats hiding inside. If someone triggers the trap they are instructed to pop out of the tiles and attack. If they pass without the trap going off they wait until they enter the next room to come out.

The second chamber has more of the sandstone tiles on the floor and walls, each one being a square foot in size. Around half the tiles are wafer thin and have holes underneath. My current layout already pushes the limits of how much space I can inhabit so there wasn't enough room to put in a pitfall deep enough to kill someone. Already the two chambers flank either side of the heart room, with the corridor wrapping around the back side, completely filling the oblong bubble I've managed to take control of. The foot traps might cause someone to twist their ankle or at least throw them off-balance, and the Dire rats are nimble and light enough to avoid the traps. For fairness I colored the thin tiles red and the safe tiles brown. In the dim light they look exactly the same. There are four rats waiting in hidden nooks to attack adventurers in the second chamber, which can possibly rise to six if they skip his tripwire and the two corridor rats reinforce the room.

The boss chamber is the largest of the three rooms, a dome with a 20 foot radius. Pit's dungeon core glitters from a niche in the ceiling above the two date palms. The rest of the room is a patchwork of earth and tile sections. The earth areas are filled with brambles and other unpleasant plants, but the tiles have the same breakaway foot traps as the second chamber. In addition Pit spawned four of the bizarre Dire Worms to help out in this room. They can only sense people in the room if they walk on earth, but if someone gets their foot caught in a hole they can burrow up and grab their trapped appendage. The worms are instructed to focus on grabbing feet and holding them in place. My last monster, another Dire Rat, waits between the two date palms as Holly finishes her inspection.

"Alright, Pit. Everything is in order, we have used every inch of space." She takes a deep breath. "Now it's time to sink your remaining mana into your dungeon boss. We won't need to make any other changes until after this dive so go ahead and give the rat everything you've got!"

How exactly do I do that?

"Just focus on the rat like when you spawned it and pour more mana into the pattern. The Dire Rat will evolve into something else and be your first boss monster." Holly takes a seat on a tiny stone alcove next to the dungeon core where she put her personal quarters, embedded in the ceiling. Pit steels himself and starts infusing the rat. The monster squeaks, then begins glowing. The glow increases and the Dire rat starts rolling and clawing at its' body, the light obscures the creature completely then both rat and light vanish with a loud popping noise. The Dire rat is replaced with a new, disgusting creature.

Dire Rat King

Class G+ Dungeon Boss

This evolved Dire Rat has increased strength and intelligence compared to its' lesser brethren, and typically rules over a nest.

The Dire Rat King stands on two feet like a man, but is only three feet tall. It's snout is just as full of jagged fangs as the smaller version but it also has long claws on each of its' nubby fingers. The King's hairless tail has a squirming gray blob on the end of it which on closer inspection is a mass of regular rats knotted together by their tails. The knotted rats writhe and gnash their teeth endlessly trying to pull themselves free. Holly grimaces at the foul beast from her seat.

"I was hoping it would evolve into a Ratling." She pouts. "I suppose the conditions weren't right for that, they tend to use weapons and armor and you don't have any real equipment for them. We'll have to hope this guy can get the job done. Slip your focus into the boss and try moving him around, I'll go lure the humans in. They probably won't even make it this far."

Holly flits off to the surface and I try to focus on practicing. Slipping into the boss is surprisingly easy, just a matter of moving my viewpoint inside his skull, coordinating his movements is a lot harder. I find after a few false starts that just thinking about what I want the rat to do is easier than trying to use all his limbs myself. Eventually I might be able to take finer control but for now I'll just direct him in general.

Up on the surface Holly keeps her light contained and flutters up to the open window frame of the ruined house above the dungeon entrance. She spots the merchants slowly rising for the day in the early morning light. The fairy takes a deep breath and calls out to the men.

"Mommy! Where are you? I'm scared! Help!" She screams with her high-pitched feminine voice, sounding much like a child who perhaps attended a single acting lesson and thought themselves a skilled thespian. Stifling her giggles she zips through a gap in the floorboards and waits expectantly.

"You hear that?" One of the men says cautiously.

"Of course I heard that you imbecile." Another replies, "Do you think I'm deaf?"

"Why would a kid be out here?" A third voice chimes in followed the sound of a meaty slap. "What did I do?"

"That's for being an even worse idiot than Rafaam! It's not a kid, and we were supposed to hear it! You're lucky I hired you for your strong backs for your heads are surely full of rocks!" The second man speaks again. "Hamal, watch the carts, everyone else with me. Let's go see where this 'kid' got to."

"Yes, Hadiq." The one named Hamal says sullenly as the men stomp over towards the ruined house. Holly quivers with excitement and calls out again.

"Down here! Hurry, please!" She cries flying into the archway.

"Don't rush me, damned voice!" Hadiq replies. "I'll fall for your trap at my own pace thank you kindly!"

"It's... uh... not a trap?"

"And you're no actor! Enough with the ventriloquism. Pah!" The first two men down the staircase are musclebound brutes carrying wooden clubs bound with strips of iron and rivets. In the middle of the group is the short fat man Hadiq and a tall skinny beanpole of a merchant. Hadiq has a long dagger drawn while the skinny one carries a curious pole with broken loop of rusty iron on the end lined with barbs. Behind the two merchants is another pair of brutes with clubs. They spread out at the bottom of the basement stair and examine the archway grimly.

"Oh how unexpected." Hadiq drawls sarcastically, "A mysterious glowing door! Perhaps we should explore it?"

"I don't know Hadiq, it looks like a dungeon entrance." The skinny man edges back from the door until Hadiq grabs his arm and drags him back.

"Of course it's a dungeon, Rafaam!" He bellows, spittle flying. "I overestimated you! Your brain is not full of rocks but empty entirely! You will hold the torch while we check this place, and try not to piss yourself in fear this time."

"Why don't we just report the dungeon when we get back to the city, the Sultanna will pay us a reward right? Or we could sell the location to Reaver! He'd pay us for it..." Rafaam whines, cringing away from the tubby merchant.

"The Sultanna will give us five silver and a note of her appreciation. Reaver might give us a gold mark for our troubles, but even a small core will fetch fifty gold at market. This dungeon wasn't here two weeks ago when we last stopped, it's a newborn and no one but us would ever come to this old tomb. An afternoon's work and we'll all be rich men." One of Hadiq's guards produces a lit torch and hands it to Rafaam then forms up in front to begin exploring. Holly flies as quickly as possible to the boss chamber and lands in her alcove.

"We might have a problem, Pit." She says gravely. "These men mean to take your core. You'll have to prove your strength right here and now if we want to stay alive."

Oh noooo this is too much pressure...

The merchant party walks into the first chamber and glances around guardedly, the flickering torchlight makes crazed shadows of the floor and walls with the many mixed plants covering the floor. Hadiq motions his men back and grabs the torch from Rafaam. I wonder for a second if he's already noticed the rats when he casually tosses it into the brush. The dry desert grass erupts into flame instantly and the three hidden rats squeal in pain and fear, fleeing their hiding places and rushing the men in a mad frenzy. The first rat is met with a stout club to the snout and crumples brokenly. The second ducks past the other guard's swinging club and sinks his teeth into the man's boot. The thick leather keeps the rat's fangs at bay and the guard casually crushes it with his club. Rafaam squeals even louder than the rats and jumps back, jabbing wildly at the ground with his polearm as the third rat charges him. One of his wild jabs snaps the ring around the rat's midsection, sinking in the barbs and catching it securely. The rat is unable to approach within the range of the pole and ends up running in a circle around Rafaam snapping at any ankle that comes within reach. Hadiq curses at the man as the guards try to smash the maddened rat, eventually succeeding.

Oh come on! That was so unfair! Why would you burn all my grass? That was a total bust... I fume silently Hadiq retrieves the torch and trades it to Rafaam, taking away his catch-pole and carrying it himself after sheathing his dagger.

The group moves confidently into the corridor after easily dispatching the rats in the same formation they entered. I wait gleefully as they walk right into the tripwire without noticing it, but the lead guards step over it without a care. Maybe it needs to be higher than that? I consider my trap placement then crow with delight as the dumb one Rafaam's nervous shuffling catches the cord and I hear it snap on the blade. The sandstone brick falls directly on target and smashes into the top of his head where it cracks in two and falls to either side. The skinny merchant howls in pain and drops his torch, clutching his head and stepping in place.

Maybe the block needs to be bigger?

"Rafaam you idiot! Watch where you're going! A shame that didn't open your empty head and let all the stupid out!" Hadiq shouts, helpfully covering the noise of my two ambush rats popping out of the walls behind them. The guards in the rear are too busy chuckling over the merchant's misfortune to hear the click of claws on tile as the rats run and leap! The two rear guards release pained howls of their own as the ambush rats latch on to the highest target they could reach that wasn't covered in thick leather, the muscle of the two men's buttocks. At last human blood is spilled in the dungeon as the two rats get a synchronised taste of dirty human butt. The rat's instinctual fighting style is to hang on and wiggle to increase the bleeding, which leaves the two guards screaming and swatting at themselves with their clubs to try and dislodge them. After a few dozen strikes, half of which strike the guard more than the rat, they manage to beat the creatures to death. The formation moves forward with the rear guard limping and holding rags to their rear ends to staunch the bleeding, sour looks on their faces.

They enter the third chamber and see the tile floors and walls, the red and brown checkerboard pattern revealing the presence of holes if only they knew the signifigance. The squad of four dire rats hisses from across the room and moves restlessly around the floor, waiting for the men to make the first move. They oblige, moving confidently forward until one of the lead guards steps directly on a thin tile and falls on his face with a sickening snap and an angry bellow. The rats take this as their queue to attack and rush the group in two pairs, one pair leaping on the stricken guard while the other two menace the members still standing.

One of the rats manages to latch on to the fallen man's right shoulder while the other sinks its' teeth into his left hand. The two rats distracting the party don't fare as well, as one is neatly caught by Hadiq with the catch-pole and pinned to the ground. The other gets a torch shoved in its' face and then a crushed skull as the uninjured guard takes advantage of its' blindness. The rear guard move forward and rescue their fallen ally with a few swift club blows. Hadiq glowers and curses through the entire affair, pushing the captured rat into the tile as it struggles to bite him. Once the other three rats are dealt with the fat man casually crushes the dire rat's neck under his boot.

"Maybe we should go back, Madir has a broken ankle..." One of the injured guards says softly.

"Shut up! You see that door ahead? That is the boss room I tell you! These monsters are pathetic, you've hurt yourselves far more through clumsiness than they have hurt you!" Hadiq berates the guards, gesturing with the catch-pole.

Rude. I thought the rats were doing okay for how few there are.

The guard with the broken ankle is left propped against the wall outside the boss room as the others go inside. I wish now that I had a few more ambush rats hidden somewhere to finish him off while the others are busy. If I live through this maybe I'll put in a few somewhere for this situation. The remaining merchants enter my boss room and look around nervously. The plants in this room are green and verdant, so burning them won't work this time. My Rat King is crouches in some bushes to their right, waiting for an opening. I slip into his brain and watch from his perspective among the grass.

Suddenly the lead guard cries out and falls into a split position, his voice rising a few octaves. One of my Dire worms grabbed his foot and yanked it forward, giving me the opportunity I needed. I explode out of the brush with my claws extended to either side and my mouth agape towards my closest target, one of the injured rear guard. I dodge beneath his clumsy swipe and claw open his arm from elbow to wrist with my claws. He falls back screaming and drops his club as he clutches his wounded arm. Before I can press the attack the other rear guard and Rafaam charge me, the disorienting flare of the torch floods my vision and the guard's iron bound club blasts the breath out of my lungs when it catches me in the stomach. The guard rears back to crush my skull with his second strike and in desperation I have the boss activate his special attack. The rat king's tail whips forward and a small magic pulse releases the swarm of knotted rats on the end, showering angry rodents on the two men which bite and claw wildly at anything they can reach. The ones that fall off run in every direction attempting to climb and bite the other humans.

The resulting chaos is so hilarious that I forget to pay attention to my surroundings right up until Hadiq snaps the catch-pole around my rat king's throat. I yank away from him, taking the pole with me but the barbs are stuck fast and I pull the collar off with my clumsy paws. The long pole drags on the ground, tripping me up as I try to get away. Meanwhile the fallen guard has managed to stand up and is holding two Dire worms by the ends and smashing them against the dirt floor, while they were able to trip him they weren't strong enough to stay in the ground when he pulled his feet up with them still attatched. He swings them like flails at the swarming rats, adding to the chaos of the battle.

I try to charge Hadiq with the rat king but trip slightly over the catch-pole and he stumbles out of my way. I find myself facing down the furious rear guard covered in small rat bites, his first blow shatters my left shoulder and knocks me away before my teeth can find flesh. While I scramble to get up the guard with the wounded arm stomps heavily on my tail and I fall on my belly. The guardsmen circle around my prone form and the Rat King meets his ignoble end by their clubs and boots, leaving little more than a flattened pelt and shattered bone.

The merchants glance around warily, breathing heavily from exertion, but all of them frustratingly alive. Hadiq smiles broadly and motions to his comrades

"You see? No problem." He chuckles. The other men just glare at the only member of their company with no injuries. "Now we take the dungeon core and it's an early retirement for us all." Hadiq and the others start to glance around the room and Rafaam is the first to look up.

"Is that it?" He says, lifting his torch.

"Yes! Yes!" Hadiq cheers.

"The one in the ceiling, way out of reach?"

"Yes! Yes... wait." Hadiq stops dancing, scowls, spits on the ground as his face grows redder by the second. "Cursed son of a rundown brothel! Stupid idiot dungeon! Why is it way the abyss up there?!" He places his hand on his forehead and takes a deep breath. "Fine... fine. We'll sell the location to Reaver. Is there anything in this shithole worth taking?"

Looking around he spots the Rafaam plucking dates from one of the trees and shoving them into his mouth. The skinny man stops when he sees Hadiq looking and laughs nervously. Hadiq stomps over and snaps one of the dates out of his hand. He examines it and then pops it into his mouth. He freezes in place for a long moment and then starts laughing hysterically.

"Candied dates!" He shouts, throwing one of the sweet fruits at a guard. "What great and wonderful treasure the rats have for us! A tree that grows dates already candied. Pah!" He spits and throws the remainder of the fruit on the ground. "Take whatever you can find, I've seen rat tails on sale in apothecaries so we might get a few coins for those. Someone drag Madir back to the carts. Let's go."

The men exit the boss room quickly to find Madir slumped against the wall lifelessly. Two Dire worms are still gnawing on his throat as I told them to ignore the boss fight and finish him off once they started beating my rat king to death. I figured they wouldn't change the outcome of the fight and I hoped to salvage something from this disaster. It's lucky they didn't think to bring a ladder and that I thought vaulted ceilings really brought the room together.

And you said the dome was a waste of space

"I stand corrected, of course real adventurers are a bit harder to stump than a bunch of baseline human merchants." Holly says as we watch the dispirited traders exit the dungeon, stopping to collect dire rat tails as they go. "How are your mana levels?"

I've got a lot, I think my capacity went up again when my worms ate that guy. I can feel my crystal brimming with energy again, though almost half feels like it just came back from all my dead monsters. The two dire worms were the only survivors of the dive. The energy I got from the guardsmen has a different flavor than my own energy coming back in.

"Perfect. It wasn't the cleanest first dive I've ever seen but it's a start. We'll have to expand immediately to be ready for the arrival of the guild. Those men will no doubt inform the authorities and we'll have a guild assessment team in here to rate you. I wonder who this Reaver they mentioned was? A high-ranking guild member I would assume." Holly muses.

Ugh... can't we take a break? We've been working non-stop for days...

"No rest for the wicked, Pit." Holly cheers, "You can't afford to stop evolving if you want to stay alive as a dungeon. We've still got a lot of subjects to cover before the guild gets here, this is where it really starts to get complicated."

Noooooo... I wanna be lazy instead....