Grom said he had to take a dump, so I left him back at the tavern. Of course, I briefly considered whether that was a ploy to escape from me, but Grom couldn't fool me that easily. Going to take a dump is definitely legit. After all, Grom has been suffering from diarrhea lately. Perhaps he ate some berries back in the Lintball forest and has been struggling ever since. Yup, it makes sense. I am definitely not wrong about this, just like I wasn't wrong about the beach incident, okay? Goddamn it!

When I arrive at the Corneliáves mansion-estate-castle thingie, I find a tight-faced Sebastian waiting for me. He quickly brings me into the Ren-kun wing, leading me up to my temporary quarters. Then a wild Tie'sha appears with a bunch of clothes and a cute blush on her face. She enthusiastically helps me don an elegant white dress with crimson frills and silver trim.

She also does my hair up in twin-tails at my request, because a loli has to occasionally go for twintails. How... how can I call myself a loli if I haven't been in twin-tails mode at least once, huh?

As for shoes, they thankfully spare me from wearing high-heels and I am instead brought some elegant ankle-boot type shoes the same white color as the dress, but with red shoe-laces. They look quite stylish and modern in fashion, how weird.

Waiting for Tie'sha to return with some ear-rings, I go to the bathroom and twirl myself around before the mirror. I must say that If I wasn't me, I would fall in love with me because I am so cute, but narcissism is definitely not good, so I pinch my cheeks and slap myself infront of the mirror a few times and make a few strange uguu sounds.

Of course when I turn around, I find Tie'sha staring at me. “Wh-what is it? Anything wrong, huh?!” I ask, whirling to face her.

“Not at all, my lady.” Tie'sha says with a little smirk. Just when I am about to go and wipe that smirk off her face with a nugi-nugi attack, she brings forth the glittering ruby ear-rings. These... I'm liberating the ruby-chan twins from the evil clutches of the Corneliáves house for sure! They are so adorable, awawa.

Tie'sha expertly fits me with the double ruby-chan combo and I grin up at her and wink. “My.. my lady looks quite good.” Tie'sha says, clearing her throat.

“I know, but let's save that for later. I have to go endure the award ceremony.” I say, and Tie'sha looks puzzled for a moment before she smiles.

“So you don't know what they're giving you?” Tie'sha asks. I shake my head.

“Well, let's just say that word's been getting around about you wanting to become an adventurer.” Tie'sha said.

Then suddenly, her eyes light up and she lunges at me, trying to suffocate me with her boobs in a tight hug. “Thank you so much for saving me! I... don't really know what happened because of the drug, but Sebas said you were amazing and for that old goat to say that, you must've really impressed him.”

During Tie'sha's monologue I struggle for air, squashed as I am between two soft pillows. Her boobs aren't large, but she's hugging me so tightly in her iron boob vice that a normal human would suffocate. Perhaps she's trying to knock me out so she can play with my body... but no, she wouldn't do that, right? I think I tested whether or not she was hiding a secret lesbianism in her closet, but didn't I decide that she was fine? I don't remember because the honey cakes were so delicious! Gah, do I really have to perform the lesbioid test again?

Tie'sha grabs my hand. “Come on, my lady. They're actually waiting for us in the hall below. There are less guests, most of them are from the Corneliáves house, but a few nobles wanted to thank you personally aswell.” She said, dragging me along like a child. “Look forward to the rewards, I'm sure you'll like them.”

“I hope one of the rewards is you. I don't really care if they give me money or whatever.” I say, and Tie'sha suddenly freezes, causing me to walk into her.

Tie'sha stumbles over her maid-skirt and trips in the corridor.

Exuding HNNNG power, I entrust my new ability of Habeas corpus with my elegance so I don't trip and fall.

Unfortunately, my face is currently approaching the fallen Tie'sha's butt. No good! Habeas Corpus-chan, why didn't you fulfill your promise and make me elegant! I don't want to eat ass.

That was all the thoughts I had time for before my face buried itself in Tie'sha's posterior. Thankfully, it is my cute Tie'sha's butt and not some old hairy man's butt.

“Yaaah!” Tie'sha shouted, and I quickly removed myself from her lavender scented nether-region. By the way, I definitely did not deliberately sniff her, okay? Goddamn it!

Still, my future maid takes good care of herself. Yes, I tripped deliberately to test her, you know? Fufufu, I fooled you there. You thought I was inelegant and clumsy, but in fact I am an amazingly talented woman skilled at subterfuge and stealthily sniff- I mean testing my servants to make sure they are worthy, yes.

Sitting up, I try to hide my super hot and no doubt bright red face in my hands, but it seems Tie'sha can see through my hands, because she is giggling like a little girl.

I... I got a bit angry at her laughing at me because I am definitely not inelegant!

So I subdued her by using Nugi-nugi on her ears. I wasn't satisfied until she was squirming on the ground holding her crotch as tears streamed from her eyes. “My.. lady, stop, I'll pee!”

“And... stop!” I say. After all, it would be problematic if she peed herself. I quickly grab her hips and lift her up. Although she is bigger than me, I am a super-loli so I can easily lift her and set her on her feet. Second time's the charm, apparently.

“There there.” I say, patting her back a few times.

“Good as new. Now let us go to the award ceremony. We have to hurry since your weirdness has delayed us, maybe making us late. We can't stay in this corridor forever, you know?” I say, walking ahead of a bright red Tie'sha desperately wiping at her eyes. Perhaps... I overdid the nugi-nugi a little bit, but she laughed at me.

Don't you know that it's rude to laugh at a little girl? Even though I'm already nearly 34 years old, but let's not take that into account, alright? I'm definitely not an old hag, okay? Goddamn it!

As we walk the rest of the way down the corridors, the stairs and into the main party area, Tie'sha is strangely clingy and quiet, holding on to my arm and walking with me like a man would escort a lady by holding her arm.

This... she's not got a weapon under there, right? Pfft, Alyce-chan what are you thinking. I had enough boner-kun last time I tried to eat honeycakes. No need to jinx this evening with such thoughts. But still, the mystery... I look over at Tie'sha, but all I see is a cute teenage mutant ninja servant.

The gathering of nobles is small, and I am very thankful for that. Please spare me from the grotesque animal stage performance of last time! I prayed, and they heard my prayers.

Tie'sha escorts me up to Ren-kun and his parents. They are waiting and each holding a bag. Ren-kun is holding a small bag, the mother is holding a medium sized bag and the father is holding a large bag.

…

What's this, some sort of fairy tale? The three bags?! Somehow, that sounds more like a gang of old rogue prostitutes. Why couldn't they just have one bag to rule them all, one bag to find them, one bag to bring them all and in the bagness hide them! My treasures, I mean.

“Lady Alyce. For your service to the Corneliáves house, we present you with three gifts!” Sebastian announces, using his Sebas cool japanese guy announcer voice that makes me think I am part of a movie or something.

First, the fatherlord steps forward and presents me with his bigly big bag. “Lady Alyce, please accept this humble gift from me. We heard you wanted to be an adventurer, so we prepared this for you.”

I take the huge bag from the Corneliáves fatherlord, and notice that it has some heft to it. Awkwardly and with everybody watching, I open the bag and fish out my first gift.

My eyes widen a little as I see the leather, then a grin spreads across my face and I look over at the fatherlord and wag my eyebrows at him. “I didn't know you were into BDSM!” I exclaim. The fatherlord looks at me confused, but it's good that he doesn't understand my joke. I am selfish, but that's okay you know?

Anyway, I pull at the leather and a strange looking thing emerges from the bag. It's actually an outfit made of black leather, but it has a skirt and boots and gloves. The leather is connected by stylish black frilly silk and I have to admit it is kind of awesome looking. I hadn't thought about the gothic lolita look, but now it is inevitable! There's even a black cloak with hood and long sleeves for when I want to look like a sith lord.

Just with the leather-outfit alone, I would look like a cool punk-rocker kind of girl, not the mention the cool robe for when I want to be mysterious and cool. It is a great gift.

Alyce-chan is kind of happy.

Perhaps my happiness is showing, because the fatherlord has a smug look on his face as he gazes from his wife to his son and over at me. Is... is this some sort of competition!?

Ah, it doesn't matter. This leather outfit is cool I have to admit, though I hadn't even thought about becoming a hardcore BDSM loli, it's always good to have more options in the future, right?

Let's ask Tie'sha later.

Ahen.

“Thank you! It's great! I'm sure it'll be very useful in the dungeon.” I say dungeon whilst wagging my eyebrows at the fatherlord and again he looks a bit confused. Poor joke-chan, always lost on these otherworlders. Wait, I am the otherworlder... I forgot! Tehehe.

Next, waifu-sama steps forward and presents me with her medium sized body pillow, I mean bag. When I open it, I hear the jingle bell! It's jewelry. Ear-rings! Lots and lots of ear-rings and a bunch of gold and silver coins. With this, I could buy a whole mountain of honey cakes, fufufu.

My eyes widen, and I give the waifu a beaming smile.

“Thanks so much! I was gonna stea- I mean, ask to keep some of the ear-rings Tie'sha brought earlier.” Whoops that was dangerous, I almost slipped. Thankfully, my super subterfuge skill kicked in and I evaded the crisis.

Hey, come to think of it, why don't I have the subterfuge skill, system-chan? Surely I have been using it for a long time now. It's not like cooking, since I rarely cook, but I am always using my amazing sneaky spy skills, so why isn't it a skill in my skillbook, huh? System-chan!

Ahen.

Now Ren-kun steps forward. He is blushing cutely. The little shota presents me with his small bag, and that is not an innuendo, okay? Goddamn it!

I unpack it to reveal a long, black............. case. It sort of reminds me of the cases that they use in harry potter to store their wands. You know, when you go to Ollivander and get your wand-chan? Anyway, I hope JK doesn't sue me for thought crimes because I thought it resembled the Harry potter wand case. Hmm. Now I'm kind of curious what's inside it...

It couldn't possibly be... a wand!?

Cracking open the lid, I look up at Ren-kun and back down at the opened case. “This... is...haha.” I say. Ren-kun looks startled and his eyes are wide and glistening like he's about to cry.

Oh dear me, I don't want to make a shota cry. Don't you know that's a crime against humanity!? I hurriedly pick up the WAND from the case. Yup. It's a fricking wand, and an awesome looking one at that.

It's slender and made of light-brown wood with a beautiful grain pattern, but the tip of the wand is a small red orb. It looks cute, a bit like a lollypop on a really long stick or a miniature candy apple. Ah, I want to eat candy apples again sometime... Come to think of it, Grom is way late. It couldn't be that he ditched me?! Taking a dump was just an excuse to get away from me and drink at a tavern?! That hairy old goat, I will punish him later!

Ahen.

As I pick it up, a prompt pings my mind and I nearly drop it because of the unexpected system-chan attack. But of course, Alyce-chan is amazing so she doesn't faint at just this much. Hah, system-chan, you'll have to do better than that if you want to subdue the great me! Fufufu.

Ping! You've picked up The incinerator, rare wand. +10 intelligence, +10 wisdom, +5% more fire damage with spells. Fire spells you cast cost 2 less mana per spell.

Holding it betwixt my small delicate fingers, it fits nicely. And it has a cool name! The incinerator! Fyahaha, watch out boner-kun, I will roast you slowly over a roaring log fire for dinner, then finish the dish off with my ultimate super secret pillar of fire cooking technique, you know?

“It's awesome!” I exclaim, jumping up with joy and smiling brightly at Ren-kun. His wide, about-to-cry eyes quickly stop their shenanigans and he returns my smile. “Thanks a lot, it's so cool. Now I feel like a real witch adventurer!” I say, making sure to look at Ren and beam him a special Alyce-chan smile.

Ren-kun looks like he is about to explode with happiness. Oi, don't cry from happiness you little brat! He..hey, this doesn't count as making a little shota cry, okay? Goddamn it!

Anyway, the fatherlord approaches and bows formally. “Thank you for saving my family, Lady Alyce. Truly, I don't know what I would've done if...” The fatherlord shakes his head.

“Ah but no, that didn't happen thanks to you.” He looks genuinely happy as he grabs my hand, shaking it quite vigorously. My whole body is going owowo like a wave from his handshake. I bet if I had boobs they would jiggle mightily. Maybe I should try the owowo handshake technique with Tie'sha later to confirm my hypothesis. Although she doesn't have particularly large lady lungs they should be of a sufficient size to test whether or not the owowo handshake is effective.

After the owowo, the fatherlord clapped his hands with a loud, reverberating bang.

“Now, let's feast!” He shouted rather loudly, and suddenly servants poured from everywhere like an army. There was so much food on the silver platters they carried that I lost track of it all. But I spotted honeycakes and various other snacks, so my grin from receiving the gifts did not go away. Instead... a bit of drool came out.

Before I could drool all over myself, a hand appeared and dabbed at my face with a cyan serviette. “There we go.” Tie'sha said. Just where does she keep all those cyan serviettes!?

“Th-thanks.” I say, and Tie'sha laughs quietly. “My lady, you're drooling so much it's obvious to everyone...”

“I... I can't help it, you know? After all, there were honeycakes on that platter over there!” I say. At that, Tie'sha also perks up and her animal ears twitch in a cute fashion. Fufufu, you're so easy to read.

“Perhaps... we should check it out, you know, to make sure that they didn't bring oatmeal raisin cookies instead. I think we should go to make sure that the chef did his job properly.” Tie'sha said.

As expected of my honeycake comrade!

“Yes, I think you're right. Perhaps the delishyas kingdom needs our help again. We must check to make sure.” I say with a nod.

With that, the two of us set off towards the servant who was holding the platter of honeycakes.

We quickly raided the platter from him and brought it to a table. There are mostly just Corneliáves nobles here, so we immediately dig into the honeycakes.

There is not much to say... The delishyas kingdom had grown even more powerful since last time, so we fought valiantly and I got very sticky. Tie'sha also got kind of sticky, but her special ninja maid skills allowed her to somehow wipe herself clean and then do me too.

I kind of lost myself after that...

Tie'sha looked stuffed, but I was far from done. There were so many different platters of food and snacks here. So I ate a lot. Too much for a normal human, but since it was the Corneliáves house, I didn't worry too much about my cover being blown.

I ate many different kinds of cheese, like cartoonish swiss cheese with many big holes in it, and various green, blue moldy ones aswell as more light buttery ones, but the brie with fruit was my favorite. Tie'sha looked at me oddly when I ate a whole wheel of brie in front of her.

Perhaps I shouldn't have done it while staring unblinkingly at Tie'sha. Atleast I wasn't eating a banana that way, but in Tie'sha's case it should be a peach or something, but there were no peaches either.

Her eyes only grew wider as I continued to consume fruit, cheese, snacks, candy and other dishes and washing it down with different delicious drinks both exotic and mundane. I felt like the protagonist of a shounen manga.

Truthfully, I had a great time even if Grom dumped me for ale, and half of it was because I had my trusty Tie'sha by my side. I will have her even if I must take her by force, you know? It is definitely not psychopathic, okay? Goddamn it!

So yeah, everything was going great until I accidentally drank the wine thinking that it was just funny tasting juice. Wine is technically made from fruit, right? So I wasn't wrong... but it was wine. The real problem was that Tie'sha also drank the wine alongside me, glug glugging it down skillfully. Her display would've made any competitive drinker proud, but she was no match for me.

Ping! You've resisted level 3 intoxication from Omondr Wine

Of course I didn't get drunk, which was a relief. Tie'sha on the other hand... her eyes started to swim and she looked a bit goofy, her cheeks flushed and her body was kind of rag-dolly as she flopped about, giggling madly.

Soon after that, I commandeered her floppy body using my extremely awesome super-loli strength and carried her to my room like the amazingly considerate loli that I am. An older servant woman attacked me halfway to my room, trying to steal my Tie'sha, but I didn't let her, so she went away grumbling about misbehaving maids, but she was the one misbehaving. How dare she try to take my Tie'sha. She's mine, you know? Mine!

Anyway, I half walk, half carry Tie'sha to my room and deposit her on my huge bed. She is mumbling something incoherent but I just ignore her and carefully take my ear-rings off, then I free my hair so it's no longer in the loli-twintails style. I can't resist doing a quick L'oreal hair commercial pose and mouthing that I am worth it, but after that I remove the boots and dress and jump into the bed, burying myself in the soft and lovely sheets of the huge bed-chan with a sigh.

Even though I made sure to jump into the side opposite Tie'sha... there is movement on the bed.

A drunk animal-eared maid approaches! Prepare for battle!

Alyce-chan uses nugi-nugi attack, it's super effective!

Drunk animal-eared maid faints.