My heart pounded rapidly, once I'd arrived at the bottom of the Astronomy tower.

One reason was the fact that I wasn't allowed to be here, and another reason was probably the fact that I'd spend time with Sirius again.

In the Astronomy tower.

At midnight.

Alone.

Why had I agreed to do this, again?

Oh, right, because Sirius had asked me.

He had been busy with pranks and Quidditch practice throughout the past week, so except for Arithmancy, we hadn't really done anything since I'd almost made the biggest mistake of my life.

I didn't know how I would act around him now, which made me even more nervous. What if I was going to screw up big time?

I didn't have enough time to spontaneously ditch him and leave the country with a false name, because Sirius rounded a corner and stood in front of me.

The dim moonlight gave him an almost angelic glow as he smiled at me, the Marauder's Map in his hand. My heart fluttered.

"Hi Frey, you're here already. So we can go up now, great!"

I nodded and followed him as if in trance. I didn't dare to say anything, afraid that only gibberish would leave my mouth.

Walking up the tallest tower of Hogwarts was horrible.

I was trying my hardest to not look too exhausted, even though I was. I hated these stairs.

And by trying to keep my breathing even I made things worse, because I didn't get enough oxygen in my lungs.

So to clarify, I felt dead when we'd finally arrived at the top.

And the lessons didn't exactly help.

It was embarrassing how Sirius asked so many questions and I could only answer the simplest ones correctly.

I couldn't spot the simplest constellations without his help, and I got almost all names for the different stars wrong.

Absolutely humiliating.

"Uuugh, I can't do this anymore," I finally gave up after confusing another two constellations with each other. "I'm exhausted and a lost case! Let's just end this misery, right here."

I pointed at the floor, only to sit down on it. "I'm not continuing this psychological harassment." I crossed my arms over my chest like a defiant child.

Sirius chuckled and sat down next to me. "Maybe that was a little too much at once. But we'll have to repeat this; I had a lot of fun."

I scoffed. "At least one of us."

I was surprised that Sirius actually laughed at that. "Jesus, Freya, you aren't even that bad, you're just dramatic! Let's continue this, seriously. Let's meet up here every Saturday, okay?"

I wanted to decline.

But this was Sirius asking.

Stuff like this was our quality time, the only time when we could really spend some privat time together.

And my crush on Sirius was bigger than my grudge against Astronomy.

I sighed. Why did I always give in when something had to do with Sirius?

"Okay."

"Yesss," Sirius punched the air, beaming. "Since I'm happy now, we'll turn the evening around for you, too, okay?"

I smiled at his happiness. "What do you mean?"

"Let's scoot closer to the edge, okay?"

"No way!" I practically shouted in no time. Then I realised how that must've come across.

So, you guessed it, I blushed.

Sirius tilted his head at me, surprised. "You're afraid of heights?"

I didn't respond immediately. But then I slowly nodded.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But... You're a Quidditch player?"

I sighed exasperatedly. "I know! It's just... I don't know, when I'm standing close to the edge of high places, I get dizzy because I'm scared that the smallest gust of wind will make me fall, or that I'm just too stupid to stay still, which will make me fall. I don't have that problem when I fly myself, because I'm the one flying; I'm in control then, because I have my broom," I rattled off, not even breathing, so I stopped to take one big breath. "I know that doesn't make sense, but that's the way it is."

Could this evening go any worse? It was one humiliation after the other!

But my stomach fluttered when Sirius didn't laugh and shook his head. "That does make sense."

We were quiet for a while, just looking into each other's eyes.

But before I could get lost, Sirius held out one hand. "We'll do it. Take my hand."

I shook my head. "I'd rather not."

He tilted his head. "Don't you trust me?"

"I do," I said pathetically.

"So why aren't you taking my hand, then?"

I hesitated, looking down at Sirius' outstretched palm.

Taking a deep breath, I took it.

His smile widened. "Great," he said softly. "I'll hold you, don't worry. And now we'll scoot closer to the edge."

I clinged to him with all my strength, and Sirius didn't let go of me as we did as he'd instructed.

We were moving slowly but surely.

Half a minute later, we were sitting directly on the edge of the tower's platform.

My grip on Sirius didn't loosen.

"I've got you," he whispered again, and my stomach did somersaults, for various obvious reasons.

"And now we can just relax. We don't have to be able to name the stars to find them beautiful."

I managed a weak smile and was careful not to move when I looked up. "They really are pretty."

"I know, right? That's why Astronomy is my favourite subject."

"If you love the subject so much, why don't you want to do something with it when you're out of school?"

"Because being an Auror will piss my parents off more."

I chuckled. "Don't make choices about your future based on what your parents may or may not like! You should do whatever makes you happiest."

Sirius didn't turn his gaze away from the stars. "You're right... I should do what makes me the happiest..."

Then he sighed and skrewed his eyes shut. When he opened them again he looked at me. "Freya?"

I lost all fear of the height when I looked into his eyes. "Yes?"

Sirius used his free hand to ruffle up his hair. "I-"

He swallowed hard. "I have a crush on a girl and I don't know what to do," he finally admitted, getting the words out of his system as quickly as possible.

I didn't know how to feel. This could either turn out to be the best thing or the worst thing to ever happen to me. "Oh?"

Was it too much to hope that he was talking about me?

I wished he did, but was too shy to ask.

And the thought that he wasn't talking about me made my heart drop in fear.

I couldn't bare the thought of him being with anyone but me.

Sirius sighed again, his distressed face turning back to the stars. "I've had girlfriends before, but this feels... different and I'm scared to ruin everything. I don't want to scare her away. I don't want to lose her."

Was it possible to be super excited and super scared at the same time?

Because I can't describe it any differently.

"I don't think you will," I quietly said after a few calming breaths. "I'm sure she likes you, too. Even if it's not that kind of liking, she won't push you away because of a crush. So you don't have anything to lose, really. And as I'm sure that she likes you back that way, too, you should really go for it. I know that it takes a lot of courage, but think of what you could have. That cancels out the fear of something that probably won't even be the case, doesn't it?"

Where had these words come from? I didn't know, and I didn't even know if they would help Sirius. But he thought about it.

"You're probably right." Then he chuckled and tugged on my hand. (I had a heart attack, thinking that I'd fall into my certain death now, but I tried to hide it and didn't even shriek.) "I knew it would come in handy to befriend a Ravenclaw."

"So you're only hanging out with me for my brain?" I teased. Wow, I'd really come far. Three months prior, I would've cried if he had said such a thing, but now it was our thing to playfully tease one another. We knew that we were friends and that none of our words meant harm. It was the opposite, actually.

Teasing was kind of our way of showing affection.

Sirius nodded solemnly. "That, and the charming presence of a pretty girl with freckles, that actually look similar to a few constellations, I just noticed - which is ironic, because she sucks at Astronomy. Her words, not mine."

Noone (except my mum and sister) had EVER called me pretty. So I almost couldn't believe my ears. It sounded completely surreal to me.

I laughed, while I was inwardly dying.

Hecalledmeprettyhecalledmeprettyhecalledmepretty!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaah!

"Thanks?" Was what I actually said.

"Oh, you're very welcome," Sirius replied. "I love spending time with you, it's always fun. And I'll try to follow your advice."

I nodded. "You better," I instantly came down from my high when I looked away from Sirius and got reminded of the spot I was sitting at. "And now, please, get me away from this edge."