My wardrobe looked empty, everything I had ever owned just looked inferior, unappealing even. Just a pile of useless cotton.

If you're wondering, I can't decide what exactly to wear. It's a barbecue from the mid afternoon to late at night, so it has to be a daytime outfit as well as an evening outfit. Let's not forgot it's warmer in the day than it is at night.

Only girls overthink their outfits Zach.

I stared blankly at the my wardrobe for another five minutes until my door slammed open and giggles erupted. Molly, Trisha and Angelique all came in the room. Trisha's arms were looped with Molly's and they stopped their giggling and just looked at me cross legged on the floor in front of my wardrobe.

"We heard you're going to Jace's barbecue. Can we come?" Molly grinned.

"No." I deadpanned and saw Molly's grin subside but then light up again, almost menacingly.

"He said we can though, I'm not deaf."

I shooed them out of my room after that. They pretty much know that mum is my only weakness. A mum is everybody's weakness. You can never underestimate the power of a guy's mother.

I looked back at my wardrobe and decided to get off my butt and actually look through the clothes. Layer after layer, I peeled off the different clothes.

Something warm but not too warm.

I finally decided on a pair of chinos, much like the ones Jace wore to the mall but instead, mine were dark blue with a few pockets but still rolled up at bottom.

I also picked out a white t-shirt that read, Parental Advisory: Explicit Content. I also wore white converses.

I headed downstairs and fumbled with my phone. Once I was at the foot of the stairs, Molly and Trish came in my view all dressed up in matching outfits: Jean shorts and a white t-shirt.

"Zach, you're taking Molly and Trish." Mum said and shooed us out the door.

"But wait! It's not-"

"Go!" She boomed and closed the door behind us.

We walked to my mum's small grey Volkswagen Polo. The plan was for Liam to take me but Molly can drive so there's no need.

"Don't get in my way ok?"

They both nodded and giggled, again.

We arrived in front of Jace's house and parked round the corner. We all got out the car and Trisha complimented my outfit.

Twenty minutes of staring at your wardrobe does things.

We entered the garden through the back door at the corner of the house and I was greeted by Jace.

"I'm so glad you're here seriously, I was getting so tired of Vince teaching me how to do a barbecue." He said, "I thought your cousin's weren't com-"

"I know what I said, let's go."

We walked off just as Trisha and Molly did. They probably went to find some guys to talk to because that's pretty much all they do.

I had never been in Jace's garden before, it was pretty big. Lanterns adorned the walls and fences and also sat on small tables. They weren't on yet because it was still day. Loud music pumped through speakers, it was almost deafening.

I walked to the barbecue and picked up a burger and put it in a bun with salad.

"This burger is heavenly." I moaned as I took another bite.

"I know," Jace grinned, "it's awesome."

I finished the rest of my burger and we headed in to the house and downstairs to Jace's room.

Instantly, he went to his Playstation and I looked at him as he set it up. I studied him, like I've never studied him before and wondered if I could come out to him. He didn't seem judgemental.

I felt like this secret that I've been keeping has been hanging on a thin piece of thread and it's come to that point where that string is really close breaking.

I need to tell someone, I thought.

"Here's your controller." Jace said and passed me it.

I sat down next to him, cross legged in front of the tv. The game loaded on the television and soon, we were playing 'Death in Time'. The aim was to try and kill these freaky monsters and stop the stop clock before it causes the world to blow up.

Jace and I were racing to the stop clock, both just as good as each other. I blew up his car to slow him down and he blew up mine.

Soon, I got pretty bored and we switch to playing Call of Duty. "I'm so going to beat you at this." I grinned.

"You wish, I'm way better." He drawled out.

"Yeah right," I scoffed.

We played for what felt like hours, both eager to kill each other. I'll have to admit, Jace is pretty good a this game but I'm not going to let him win.

"Shit shit shit." I repeated over and over again as he threw a grenade.

"Told you!" He dropped his controller on the ground and fist pumped the air in victory.

"Shut up."

"Aww don't be sad Zacchy." He came closer to me, till our faces were inches apart. We stared at each other for ages. It wasn't awkward, nor was it comfortable. I could feel his breathing on my face. I could just lean in right then and do something stupid such as kiss him but then I'd be exposing my sexuality and he'd get creeped out and never talk to me again because I don't even know whether he's gay or not.

He was almost leaning on top of me, his muscular arms at either side of my body and his chest parallel to mine. We weren't laying down but I was leant back, my hands behind me supporting my body.

Still, I couldn't help but feel intoxicated in his aftershave, being this close to him felt so right. I wish I could just stay in this moment.

I liked the way he was so cool and collected about all this. If he weren't, and was instead like me, it'd be pretty awkward. I could tell how calm he was about this; his breaths were coming out slowly and uniform and he had a smile on his face and his eyes were kind of closed.

Me on the other hand, my breathing was unsteady, my heart raced and my eyes were wide open like a deer in the headlights.

Then I came to the realisation of something. I liked Jace more than a friend. Why else would my breathing become unsteady? Why else would my heart beat quickly?

Funny how that works out huh?

It all came to me all at once, I like-liked Jace. I even remembered what the bastard wore on our shopping trip and even compared his to my outfit.

I finally decided on a pair of chinos, much like the ones Jace wore to the mall but instead, mine were dark blue with a few pockets but still rolled up at bottom, I recalled thinking.

I remember how much I enjoyed messing around with him at the mall. Especially when he pinned me down and sat on top of me.

"Jace. I need to tell you something." I whispered and he moved back a little, concern filling his eyes.

It was at the tip of my tongue. I'm gay and I may have a tinsy crush on you.

I couldn't do it. I don't know why, I just couldn't.

Exposing to him my feelings? I've never been good in that sector. Exposing my feelings. Making them known. It had always been alien to me.

You know what? I might just be feeling lonely again, I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time and your friends can't fulfil all your loneliness.

Yes, that just might be it. Loneliness. To think I had a crush on that bastard? I must be crazy.

Jace? Of all people. To think I liked Jace. Gross. He's a friend, nothing more, nothing less. Wow, I'm such a loser.

My heart was only beating a million beats a minute because of the position. This position with him hovering over me was foreign to me. The same reason why I had unsteady breathing.

The position. That was it.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Erm, nothing. Let's go outside, I think I need some air." I got up and shoved him back down as he tried getting up.

"Hey! That's not nice!" He whined.

"Neither is your face."

We were back to our usual friendship. I didn't like-like Jace. I didn't even know if he bat for the same team like me.

I just felt a little lonely.

I don't usually get asked out by girls anymore. I used to, a lot but now that I've been given the reputation of 'womaniser' nobody really wants to be with me and I don't really want to be with them for two reasons: They're girls and of course, I don't roll that way and I'm trying to get rid of my bad reputation. I don't like it, Liam doesn't like it. It's been like that since last year when I actually were a womaniser and hopefully, it'll be changed soon.

We were back outside and it was dark out, I checked my phone. It was nearly six o'clock. I came about two hours ago.

My eyes adjusted to the dark and I noticed all the hanging lanterns were now lit up and the people who sat at the table glowed with the similar lanterns at the tables.

"Your garden looks pretty awesome right now." I stated.

"Thanks. It was all Janine, she has a nick for decor and perfection."

"I'm craving chicken." I said.

"It seems all we do together is eat but I'm not complaining. The pretzels were tasty."

"I know right. Chicken?" I asked and put a some on my plate. He nodded and I put it in his plate.

"Can your dad become my personal caterer please?" I scoffed my chicken down. It was cooked to perfection. Like I said, Jace's dad cooks better than my mum.

"Vince is a chef after all." He stated then scrunched his eyebrows together in...confusion? "You still need to rap to me."

The deal had completely slipped my mind, "and you need to show me how well you can play guitar and sing."

"No, singing wasn't in the deal."

"Oh come on, you can't just play a song and not sing to it!"

He pursed his lips and smiled. "Hmm maybe."

We finished our meal and headed upstairs in the house. It had crossed my mind that I've never been upstairs in his house. Only the ground floor and his room in the basement.

The upstairs hallway was decorated in family pictures. A little smiling Jace was perched on top of a brick wall that was in front of a huge ocean, an ice cream in hand. Two young men were on either side of him. Little Jace had two front teeth missing and his hair was cut shorter. They all looked like they were having a lot of fun.

Another picture was of Vince and Janine on their wedding day. Janine looked flawless, her hair was styled in a side bun with a few strands of hair hanging down. Her dress was beautiful, it was designed with small laced flower patterns.

There was another, an older Jace and his younger sister. It was on Christmas, I could tell because their was a Christmas tree and half opened presents. He looked around thirteen and Cam looked ten or so. He wore the same huge grin as his other pictures.

I smiled, Jace said he had been fostered since he was a baby. I wondered what happened that sent him in to foster care. Could I ask? Would he really mind?

"That was over Christmas, when I was twelve and Cammie was nine. I know, I look older than that

"Who are they?" I asked and pointed to the picture if Jace and the two young men on either side of him.

"My uncle and his husband. Cute couple, moved to California, haven't seen them in years." He summed up and we went up walked through the rest of the hallway and stopped in front of a very modern door that didn't match all the other doors in the house.

He pushed down on the handle and opened the door and switched in the lights. The room inside was kind of small and cramped. The floors were made of tan wood and the walls were a nice shade of berry red.

Guitars hung on the walls and were on stands on the floor and amplifiers scattered the small room.

"My music room." He grinned and opened his arms wide then he knocked on the walls, "soundproof."

"You have a music room?!" I boomed, "that's awesome dude."

He grinned and sat on a tall stool. "So you going to show me how you rap?"

I leaned against the wall and embraced it's coolness. "Or you could show me your guitar skills."

He nodded and picked a sleek black electric guitar off the wall as well as a blue guitar pick. "This is my most expensive guitar, it's like my baby but I might play acoustic instead."

He hung it back on the wall and took an acoustic guitar off its stand. The acoustic guitar was tan and it's pick board was black. The fret board as well as the bridge was dark brown.

I slid down the wall and sat cross legged on the floor. He fumbled with the pick in his hand and strummed a chord perfectly. He played a very irritating and very recognisable song - 'We Found Love' by Rihanna.

"Seriously? Rihanna. You're playing Rihanna. That song sucks monkey balls- actually she sucks monkey balls." I complained.

He turned his face to me slowly from his guitar and chuckled quietly even though we're in a soundproof room. It was a velvety, heartwarming chuckle that I'd very much like to hear again.

"Fine. I won't play Rihanna." He held his hands up in surrender and purposely dropped his pick on the floor.

He played another recognisable song that wasn't irritating at all. He played the tune to John Mayer's Your Body's A Wonderland. He was delicate with his picking, it was much harder for him as it was finger picking instead of using a guitar pick.

As soon as the singing part was meant to begin, he didn't sing. I wanted to hear him sing.

"You're not singing?" I frowned.

"Fine fine, I'll sing." He said and started playing the song again.

He made a small mistake, causing him to groan in frustration. I pushed him to start over and to keep calm because he wasn't even playing that bad to begin with. He did so and carried on from where he left off.

"...and if you want love, we'll make it."

God. His voice was perfection. I don't know why he was reluctant to sing. It was so good, I could just... eat it. Yeah. Eat it.

"Swim in a deep sea of blankets..."

I could just melt in to him right now. To say he was good was an understatement. He was undeniably brilliant.

It was kind of calming hearing Jace sing and play. I loved his voice, I loved his playing. Call me cliche but when Jace plays his guitar, it's like he's in another world. It's like he's another person, he's definitely not himself when he's playing. He - without a doubt - loves playing guitar.

"Take all your big plans, and break 'em. This is bound to be a while."

Just as he finished the verse, his eyes pulled away from the fret board and glanced to me on the floor. I smiled and tried hiding it as I pulled my knees up to my face and hid my mouth and chin behind it. He gave a small lopsided smile and went back to focusing on the guitar.

"Your body is a wonderland."

He sung and played from his heart, you can really tell the difference when somebody sings with passion, as if it's their lifeline, and when somebody is just singing like they were forced to.

He came to an end and I felt the need to keep hearing him play. I really wanted him to play the whole song again. I wanted him to keep singing and playing till the ends of the earth.

I would've clapped and hollered except, my body wasn't reacting. I was just awestruck.

"Wow." Was all I could say. Really Zach? Just 'wow?'.

"Jace. That was amazing."

"Thanks." He said, "I now really like that song."

"Why?"

"Because I played it in front of you." He put the guitar back on the stand and picked up the guitar pick from the floor. "Your turn."

Because I played it in front of you. What did that mean exactly? How did I change his perspective on the song?

He stood up from the stool and loomed over my sitting form on the floor. I sighed and got up, matching his 6'1 frame.

"So what song?" I asked.

"I don't know..." He scratched the back of his head, "you like Eminem right?"

I nodded and pursed my lips. "Lose Yourself is my favourite, do you know the words?"

I grinned, did I know the words to that song? Of course I did.

I fumbled with the phone and soon, the instrumental version of Eminem's song played. I closed my eyes and took a breath. I opened them again, seeing Jace sitting back on the stool, hands gently gripping the front edge of his stool.

I sang, and it helped to see Jace sitting there. I don't how, he made me feel more confident. Of course, I knew that he wasn't judgemental and knowing that helped me get through the song. I've never preformed in front of anyone that's not my family.

"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment,

You own it, you better never let it go."

I looked up at Jace, who was sat in complete silence. I wondered if he was trying to stifle a laugh or something, to be honest, the whole situation is a little cringy.

"The soul's escaping, through this hole that is gaping

This world is mine for the taking,"

At this point, my heart raced at all the adrenaline. Rapping was my thing. I love it. I probably wouldn't go as far as saying 'it's my life' though.

"Make me king, as we move toward a new world order

A normal life is boring,"

Jace looked impressed. Good, i'm glad.

It only grows harder, homie grows hotter

He blows. It's all over.

I looked away from Jace. That last line is my favourite. I looked back at him. He was standstill, like he had always been before. It was just his facial features changing. His hands were still gripped on to the edge of the stool.

I reached the last verse and belted it out.

"No more games, I'ma change what you call rage

Tear this motherfucking roof off like two dogs caged."

I didn't know whether I should have muted that swear word, it's not like Jace cares about swearing, he does it himself.

"So here I go it's my shot.

Feet, fail me not, this may be the only opportunity that I got,"

The song finished and I was relieved. It was finally done and I had preformed in front of someone outside of my family for the first time. It was nerve wrecking but something about Jace's presence helped me.

He stood up from his stool and clapped and cheered and hollered by himself.

"That was so good!" He jumped up and down like a little kid. "Again?"

"No."

We headed back outside into the twilight. It was getting pretty late and we had school tomorrow but I wasn't given a curfew because mum and dad wouldn't be home till one in the morning earliest. They went out for dinner and they'll probably go out for drinks after that.

"Hey!" Molly and Trisha boomed as they walked up to Jace and I, a familliar shirtless hot guy linked to them.

"Hey, Brandon. You made it!" Jace greeted and gave the shirtless hot guy a high five.

"Uh, hey," I greeted him. "I'm Zach."

I was trying to focus on his face. He had a handsome face, like a model's but I was more concentrated on his body. He ripped, he had a six pack. His body was tan, and his shorts hung low, showing off his V line.

I couldn't stop staring at that V line.