《Zeno's Sapphire》Chapter 15
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Nagpakawala ako ng hangin at marahang tinignan ang orasan. Kanina pa ako naghihintay mag-alasais dahil 'yun ang usapan namin.
Not like any other day na sinusundo niya ako pagnag-aaya siya lumabas.. minsan nandyan na lang agad siya, ngayon iba. He just texted me if I wanted to go to the new coffee shop, I just agreed kahit hindi naman ako nagkakape.
I tried to forget what happened previously. 'Yung naging usapan namin ni Duchess, sometimes I feel like... this is not doing good anymore but whenever he's there, I just chose to distract those painful thoughts.
Nang pumatak ang orasan ng 5:30pm ay agad na akong nagsabi sa sekretarya ko na pwede na siyang umuwi at may pupuntahan ako. I texted Manong Driver that I'll be going already, hindi muna ako nagdadrive mag-isa... ewan ko parang mas mabilis akong napapagod e.
"Saan po tayo Ma'am Davids?" tanong naman ni Manong nang mag-umpisa siyang lumabas sa parking lot.
"Doon po sa may new coffee shop sa south," I responded.
Tumango naman ito at agad din kaming nakarating dito pagkatapos ng kinse minutos, hindi tulad ng mall na tabi lang halos ng kompanya namin kaya makakapunta ka agad.
Pagkababa ko roon ay nagsabi ako rito na tatawag na lamang ako kapag kailangan kong magpasundo. I quickly check the time at my watch at napansing mag-aalasais pa lang halos.
I walked towards the coffee shop, I actually didn't expect that this coffee shop is huge. Iba sa karaniwang laki ng mga nandirito, napalingon ako para hanapin siya pero hindi ko makita ito sa bandang unahan kaya naman pumasok pa ako.
I saw him holding a cup of coffee while laughing. I confusedly looked at the back of the man na kaharap niya. He never laughed this way before... I frowned when I realized why he didn't pick me up instead.
Pain is suddenly consuming me, I don't think I'll be able to pretend okay kung ipapakilala niya ako sa boyfriend niya.
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Akma na sana akong tatalikod nang makabangga ko ang isang babae kaya natapon ang dala-dala niyang inumin.
"I-I'm sorry," agad kong sabi. Sa akin natapon ang frappe, chocolate ata iyon kaya sobrang dumi na tingnan ng white blazer na suot ko.
"Sapphire?"
Napaangat ako ng tingin sa babae, "L-lea..."
"You're h—" Bago pa niya matuloy napalingon muna ako saglit sa likod ko.
Nakita ko si Zeno at ang kasama niya... oh siya 'yung nasa picture. Nagtataka at kunot silang nakatingin sa amin hanggang sa maaninag niya ang mukha ko ay umamba na siya ng tayo kaya agad akong napatakbo sa labas.
Hindi ko na pinansin ang tawag muli sa akin ni Lea. I run quickly as fast as I can kahit ramdam ko ang nawi-weirduhang tingin sa akin ng mga tao.
Bago pa ako makalapit sa kalsada para magtaxi, may nakahawak na ng braso ko. Wala namang iba, hawak pa lang niya alam na alam ko na kung sino e.
I always know how his presence affect me, but now all I can feel is pain. I'm too hurt to even process.
"Where are you going?" Nararamdaman ko ang iritasyon sa boses niya.
Napalingon ako sa kanyang kagat-kagat ang labi ko, pinipigilan ko umiyak. His face darkened a bit, far from what he used to have.
Umiling lang ako, "I-ll g-go h-home..."
He dangerously looked at me more, pinagmasdan niya ang madumi kong suot dahil sa inumin ni Lea. Hindi tuloy ako nakahingi ng paumanhin ng maayos.
He pulled me towards his car, binuksan niya ang backseat at iniabot niya sa akin ang spare t-shirt niya sa tabing inupuan ko.
"You changed first," He strictly said and closed the door.
Ginawa ko naman iyon, tinted ang sasakyan niya kaya ayos lang naman. He's frame is obviously too large compare to me kaya naman umabot na ito sa paraang natatakpan na rin ang palda ko. It looks like a dress now.
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Marahan akong lumabas sa sasakyan niya. Napairap siya sa akin bago muli akong pinagbuksan ng pinto sa front seat.
"Seatbelt," He said in his monotone yet laced with irritation.
Sinuot ko naman iyon at nagsimula na siyang magmaneho. Nakayuko lang ako habang bumabyahe. Naiiyak ako, I was too excited earlier but this is just what happened...
Nakarinig ako ng pagkawala ng hininga kaya inaninag ko siya mula sa aking pwesto. "Why are you so careless?"
I bit my lip and shook my head. I don't know..
"Why did you even run? Paano kung hindi lang basta frappe iyon? If that's a hot chocolate... gosh! Sapphire Light! " sunod sunod niyang pagsasabi sa akin na tuluyan nang nagpatulo ng luha ko.
Why is he so mad at me? Am I not allowed to be hurt because of him?
Tinigil niya ang sasakyan. I don't know where are we... He quickly faced me and massaged his temple.
He's like calming himself bago siya muling humarap sa akin at kinuha ang kamay ko. Maya maya pa ay bumuntong hininga siya,
"Baby girl, I'm not mad. I'm just worried, you even run without hesitation, paano kong matuloy ka sa kalsada?" Damang dama ko ang pag-aalala niya ngayon.
I closed my eyes, tuloy pa rin ang paghikbi...but I'm not a child anymore... alam ko ang ginagawa ko.
"I-I d-do..n't kn-o-w.." I managed to say between sobs. Tuloy lang ang paglandas ng luha ko, I just can't help it.
"Why did you run? If you already saw me, you should have come to me..." He trailed off.
Hindi ko na sinubukang sulyapan siya. I continued crying while shaking my head, "I-don't.. w-want..," I answered.
He suddenly placed his finger on my chin at iniangat ang ulo ko paharap sa kanya. His eyes darted directly at me. "Why is that?"
Saglit akong tumingin sa nakakalunod niyang mata, his eyes are etched with so much emotions now—I even glimpse a hurt.
Huminga ako, "M-may...ka-kasama ka na-man.."
He furrowed his eyebrows at me. Tinaas niya ang isang kilay, "And?"
He wiped my tears at umiwas muli ng tingin, kinalma ko muna saglit ang pagsasalita ko.."Diba boyfriend mo 'yun?"
Saglit na nagkaroon ng katahimikan sa pagitan namin. I knew it...
Muli akong tinuon ang mga mata sa kanya, I saw how he tried to supressed a smirk, "Hmm.."
Napakunot ang noo ko. Para kasing nag-aasar pa siya, iniiwas ko uli ang ulo ko.."K-kaya nga.. a—" I cried, I can't manage to continue whatever I'll say.
This is hurting me so much, hindi na ako makahinga ng maayos dahil sa patuloy na paghikbi ko.
Bigla niya akong kinabig para yakapin."Gosh.. Stop crying, He's not okay? What do you want me to do?" pag-aalo niya sa akin habang hinahagod ang buhok ko.
Para namang biglang may natunaw sa loob ko, hope is starting to arise within me.
Humiwalay ako sa kanya at pinunasan ang sariling luha, "He's not?" paninugurado ko.
He nodded at me and chuckled. "Yeah. Is my baby girl jealous?"
Umiwas ako ng tingin. Waaah! Hindi ko narealize ang mga ginagawa ko, bakit kasi sobrang maiyakin ko e.
I didn't speak, nahihiya ako bigla lalo... bakit ganito? Nakakainis naman e.
I heard him laugh. "What are you feeling now?"
Napanguso ako bago nag-isip saglit. Feeling? I should use this time for that right? Halata naman na sa mga pag-iyak ko e.
Humugot ako ng hangin at marahang pinakawalan ito, "A-ano.. gusto k-kasi kita..."
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