"Having fun little Yill?" The Gramps who always masked a smile on his face, asked indulgingly.

"A lot," I happily chirped.

He just chuckled at my excitement and patted my head tenderly.

"It's fine to have fun, but don't overdo it, always pay attention to your body." He reminded me.

I nodded my head knowingly.

"Chairman, you should go back to the association, there is a meeting to be held." A bean like person chorused which made my Old Gramps frown.

Gramps complained, "Can't you just send someone else?" He childishly said.

"I still want to stay here with my little Yill." I giggled at this old man's antics.

"Chairman, please, you are the Chairman of the association." The bean man plead.

As I shifted my head, I saw Gittarakur signaled me to rest.

'Hahaha....bet you just noticed that I'm not beside you.' I mocked my little brother.

Should I play blind or not?

Nah... It's better to obey than being dragged home and ruin my plans.

I faced the tantrum throwing old man.

"Gramps, you should just go. You're the 'Chairman' after all. And I'm a little tired too, I should rest." I bid to him.

"Sure, sure, little Yill. Your body comes first. If you need anything don't hesitate to come to me okay?" He worriedly said and urgently sent me back to my companions.

"Sure Gramps,"

Gittarakur stared at me, as if waiting me to explain why am I not beside him a while ago.

'It's not like I should interrupt your lovey-dovyness, ain't I going to be a third wheel with that?!' ('-')

"He... he, Gramps called me and I forgot to tell you firsthand." I lied through my teeth.

And he believed it!?

My little brother changed with just a short time?!

He literally believed it?!

Forget it!

I should get use to it and besides with a low guarded escort, I can escape quite easily.

We searched for a place to rest, while walking I felt dizzy again and my sight blacked.

Fortunately again, I steadied myself with the wall beside me.

Gittarakur and Hisoka appeared at my side with just a mere second.

Why do I frequently feel like this?

My vision returned and I turned at my companions, "Don't worry, I'm fine." I waved at them.

"I'm just tired." Gittarakur still felt not reassured so he motion me to get on his back.

Of course, I declined assuring him I'm fine.

We quickly searched for a place to rest and found a quiet and secluded part of the ship.

Gittarakur urge me to lie down and sleep.

Once I lied down he pulled the needles in his face and changed back his original face.

He assured me that I could go to sleep off guarded.

Hisoka sat beside my feet and Gittarakur's hips became my pillow.

It's always like this.

Since when we were young until now.

Gittarakur would pat my hair and coax me to sleep.

Even with time that I would cry in pain and be burned by fever, he would always stay by my side and accompany me until I could fall asleep.

I slowly let my guard down and fell in slumber.

(Hisoka's POV)

Meeting Illumi's beloved brother, I felt nervous at first, I can feel he's dangerous and arouse my excitement in battling with him.

He agreed to have a duel with me but, as time goes on, I realized something.

'I cannot defeat him, whether if it is in strength or with Illumi.'

I'm a little jealous, I admit.

He is powerful and he can make Illumi do something I couldn't even make him do.

But-

I looked up to him.

Maybe, I'm just being selfish about things. And I know that it's within my nature.

Surely, this feeling's not nice.

I like Illumi, I like him, that emotionless person, I like him.

I'm just being a bit possessive but still I felt jealous, every time Illumi's attention was at him.

I'm okay, being defeated in battle but I won't back off if its Illumi.

This things in my head bothered me.

Why do I have to fall in love?

Even though it's like this, I-

Don't regret this feeling.

Being weak when it comes to him.

How could I make him look at me just like how he look at his brother.

I realized how crooked I've become.

I looked at the man who was brushing his hand in his brother's head.

I ascertained that Yilluzu is asleep before I walked towards Illumi's side and borrowed my head at the gap between his shoulder and neck.

He looked at me inquiringly.

"Illumi, why am I like this?" I asked in a low tone.

"What?...Being an annoying brat or a whiney princess?" I laughed at his humor but got a little sad because of it.

'Am I really annoying? I annoy him?'

"So? Are you going to tell me?" He asked again.

"I feel that I've become crooked because of you." I replied.

"You're already crooked, why is it related to me?" He asked me.

It's cuter that he was being sarcastic and talkative this time but...

I hope he takes me seriously even just at this moment.

"I mean I've become more crooked because of you." - Hisoka

"But seriously Illumi, Do you like me?"

I'm scared-

this is the first time I felt like this.

I'm afraid that he might answer 'no'.

I'd rather-

not hear it.

"Forge-"

"Do you need to ask that?" He eyed me.

I faked laughed, "I told-"

"Would I go out with you if not?" I got cut off again

But-

This-

I got struck.

Illumi have never once admitted that he likes me.

I'm frozen.

"why are so you surprised? Isn't that obvious?" He asked befuddled.

'It's not obvious of course!'

"Why are you asking that all of a sudden?" Inquiring me that, I don't even know myself, why do that thoughts came across my mind.

'Of course, he will treat Yilluzu that way because he is his brother! Idiot!'

"Nothing,"

He eyed me for a second and faced forward again.

I just lean in his shoulder quietly.

"Are you thinking why I'm like that to you and like this to my brother?" He suddenly asked.

How did he know?!

"I know that you think it that way." He emotionlessly said.

He sighed and started opening his mouth and said,

"Yill-nii-... I always treated him this way, from the beginning until now."

"I have always looked after him since young,"

"He is strong when it comes in strength, yes. That couldn't be denied, but,"

"But he's weaker than you thought."

"Fate has been cruel to him,"

"He loves assassinating, Fate made him sleep for 13 years because of that,"

"He likes to play, Fate took his health and forbade him to enjoy,"

"He loves killing, Fate made him a threat to everyone."

"He knows himself that ones he let go of his restraints and let him enjoy himself, he is doomed to destroy everything."

"May it be his body, his life or his love ones' life."

'This-'

"He was trapped for 13 years in darkness, he wasted his 13 years, lying in bed, cannot move or talk."

"He would writhe in pain but not cry."

"He would burn in high fever but never complain."

"This might just be a simple suffering for anyone but if you see it with your own eyes and as a brother, it is heart wrenching."

"He's Zoldyck too, he should have a free and a happy life, but he is doomed to have the worst fate among us."

"We don't even know if he could still live until the next sunrise."

"My family and me, loved him dearly,"

"That thought of him leaving us is like a nightmare,"

"Hisoka, I treated him like this because I want to appease and fill every hole in his life."

"I want to give him a life where he can go anywhere without fear of being left alone."

"To tell him that he isn't alone. That even though Fate has been cruel to him, he still have us looking after him, Watching every step he take with support,"

"We may be a family full of assassins and ought to kill and watch someone dying with cold-bloodied eyes, but when it comes to family, we treasure them even thought we don't show it."

It is the first time I saw that eyes held something, it doesn't look emotionless as of this moment but I can see how he hold a lot of hidden emotion in those eyes.

I can feel how Illumi restrained himself to not burst out.

I hugged him. And stroked his back to comfort him.

"He is my brother, you are my lover."

He whisper. "Of course there's a difference."

"I'm sorry, sorry, I won't think of that again. I know you want him to lean on you and as a lover you are to lean on me." I said.

A moment like this is unimaginable, I never thought that there would be a time that Illumi would open up and let me see this side of him.

He is not a robot that has no emotion, Illumi is a human too, with flesh and feelings.

I've been a narrow minded person.

Maybe I always have.

I stroked his back to calm him down.

I did not know what is that feeling he mentioned but seeing him like this, vulnerable.

I felt that I made a big fuss about this jealousy of mine.

But it's a good thing that Illumi could let out what he is shouldering.

And the feeling that someone depends and leans on me too,

This-

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I really do not regret it,

Falling in love.