a mover had brought in jungkook's pride and joy.

his baby grand.

with a sleek white outer shell, keys that were cold to the touch, and the most beautiful ability to twist any note into dripping diamonds, it truly was his favorite purchase to date.

with the suggestion from his friend-turned manager he decided to avoid alcohol, at least for the morning. maybe then he could get some writing done. crank out his next single. let the creative juices flow.

he really felt he could do that. easily. in fact, he had done it a thousand times over so why was this time different?

maybe it was the way his hand shook, riddled with tremors each time he dared to stare or maybe it was the turning in his brain, the one that was only fixated on a single thing. hint: it wasn't his next album. or maybe, it was all of it combined.

each time he pressed down on a note, a memory circled around him, a hologram of what had been. at his wedding he had played the same keys, after the birth of his daughter, at his school graduation, the first time he hit the stage professionally- a beautiful past and a bleak future.

he felt his teeth grind down onto one another, shifting about, his cheeks puffed as he thought how much more sophisticated he would look with a glass of wine in front of him. each time he did something well, he could take a sip. it would be like a reward. or better yet a distraction.

instead of thinking of everything that had been, he could think of that sweet smoky aftertaste of a merlot. the way it danced on his tongue and never criticized. the way it just gave and gave and gave, never took.

knocking the bench over in the process, jungkook went on the hunt. he knew that namjoon wasn't dumb- surely, he had hid every last drop somewhere because the wine fridge was empty. and the main fridge. and even the cabinets above.

he checked the trash, the linen closet, beneath his unmade bed- nothing.

most would give up, would move on, try to settle their restless mind another way but, jungkook physically could not. his entire body willed him to look everywhere, leave no stone unturned. his hands ripped at unopened boxes, pooling contents onto the floor of shit that in this moment didn't matter, and he felt a line of hot tears pool the inner corner of his eyes as he got to the last one.

he was so fucking desperate; he needed something and he needed it now.

the front door cracking open didn't even register with him, too fixated and obsessed with the task he had given himself. past the point of shame, past the point of embarrassment; this was rock bottom and he was content living there for the moment. he needed to live there to find solace.

"what are you doing?" namjoon was at the edge of the hallway, eyes peering at the mound of items that had been thrown messily about, a toddler in the midst of a tantrum. he noted the way jungkook's face was red with anger and frustration- he didn't want to assume but it was obvious. he was craving the one thing that the older had taken away, "jungkook?"

his voice finally seemed to register inside of the younger who stopped gripping at busted cardboard just long enough to grumble out something barely coherent, "where did you put it?"

"what do you mean?" the man with purple hair wasn't an idiot. he knew damn well what jungkook wanted yet it was detrimental that he avoided it. not just for business purposes but personal as well.

"you know exactly what the fuck i'm talking about!" at this point any recognizable gleam in jungkook's eyes had dissipated, replaced with full blown rage, even an ounce of hatred for the words being exchanged. his hands clenched into a fist ready to fight if he had too, "tell me where you put it. now!"

the words were sharp against the walls, bouncing about, causing neighbors and patrons beneath the open window to wince but not joon. he never faltered when jungkook dared to threaten him, "i thought we discussed this. you don't need it, not today."

"what makes you think you know what i need?" his figure looked so frail beneath the yellowed light, the pale white walls, the vacancy of a personal touch, "you don't know shit! you walk around in your suit, collecting a cut of the money i earn."

to most, the words would sting, they would hurt, they would bruise your inner core. they'd make you question your friendship, how true it was. they'd make you wonder where words so deep rooted could have formed- they must have some ounce of truth to them.

namjoon knew better. knew that inside of jungkook sat two people-

he was a boy, fresh from school with a pipe dream and doe eyes. he was a man, torn down by a broken and busted system that left many before him to the wolves. he was hurt from his past, scared for his future. he was an addict through and through that couldn't see a picture beyond the moment.

"you don't want me to have it because if i have it then i don't write your little album! and you need the album, don't you? what all your other clients aren't good enough? are you not getting enough from all the fucking articles about me floating around, huh? for all i know you were part of the leak! did you tell everyone about the mess that is my life so that you could earn just a tad more? maybe buy yourself another vacation or another car?" the younger wasn't even staring at this point, he was moving boxes about, things about, punching whatever he could.

namjoon could only hope he'd avoid the wall.

"because i don't get a vacation. my vacation! you want to know?" the devil was present in that expression, in those eyes, "mine was the detox unit! where i waited for you to bail me out forty-eight hours late because you were what, where were you? who knows! you obviously didn't care about me enough-,"

"jungkook, stop." it was an order, a stern one, a strong hand wrapped around the boy's wrist and pulled it down to his side, "you don't mean what you're saying."

"you don't know me namjoon! you don't know what i mean." a pool of saliva formed at the edge of his lip, "quit acting so high and mighty like you know everything. last time i checked you were nothing but my manager, replaceable! i'm going to go for a walk and when i get back, my wine fridge better be restocked or else you're fucking fired." he spat, right on the ground next to his friend- his only friend. the pool of spit reaching his loafers, a swirl of disgust curling on his lips as he watched jungkook storm past him.

he knew calling out to ask him where he was going would be useless. that was evident by the slam of the door but he was embarrassed by his friend's behavior.

embarrassed because in the kitchen sat jungkook's new house keeper.

namjoon groaned at the mess that had been created, ignoring it for the moment as he trotted off to find tae, "how much of that did you hear?"

"if i say all of it do i get a pay raise or a pay decrease?" tae let a sad smile take over his expression- he could tell that his cousin's boyfriend and his (sort of) boss needed a bit of cheering up in the moment.

the purpled-haired boy fell into the stool next to taehyung, a nervous aura surrounding him as he tried to gather the words, "how much have you read on jungkook?"

the younger shrugged, "to be honest, not much. i'm not sure if jin told you but i'm not exactly a follower of pop culture."

"that's good because it's painted jungkook in such a bad light!" namjoon felt the sudden urge to defend every bit of his friend's character, of his career, he was more than what was being put out about him, "he's such a creative spirit and he was so young, when he met his wife and when he had his daughter. he's a hopeless romantic at the end of the day and he craved stability and a family- it doesn't really matter. just as long as you know, he's not a bad person..."

"i can sense that." tae placed a reassuring hand on namjoon's shoulder, "you're a good friend for sticking this out with him. he needs people like you!"

"ah you've been living with jin for too long! you're getting sappy..."

"jin is a bit of a sap, isn't he?" tae chuckled to himself, his body moving like a magnet to each mess that seemed to have been created. he was compelled to organize and clean, fixated on helping make namjoon's life easier in whatever way he could. "i was happy to come back and you two were still together. you're good for him, ya know?"

namjoon smiled sweetly at that, recalling how him and jin had dropped tae at the airport as he fled for japan- it was odd to think the figure in front of him had changed so much in merely a year. tae looked so much more beaten and battered down, such a shell of the free spirit he once had been and jin had rambled about what had gone down with his cousin late at night, over soju and sad smiles. he had mentioned something about an ex-boyfriend, about a lost career.

the older could feel the pain radiate off the boy despite his efforts to cover it with a sweet, boxy smile. somehow, he saw jungkook in him. two lost souls rummaging through a tattered apartment that neither wanted to be in.

maybe they'd be good for each other.