"I won't be gone for too long...just a few days," the handsome boy said, small pained grin plastered on his face as he lay next to you on your bed.

You stared at the side of the older boy's face, seeing the slight bruising that stemmed his cheek. Your heart sunk, eyes tired and falling as he was trying hard to fight back tears himself.

"I'm sorry he does this to you," you awkwardly let out, never understanding why it was always him who got the shorter end of the stick. Never once were you bruised, slapped, or called names. Never once. But the older boy that lay quietly next to you had this happen to him since he was 5 years-old and you were 2.

It had always been this way...

"It's alright," the older boy sighed out, smiling over at you sweetly when seeing how harshly you were taking all of this, "I've gotten used to it."

Your stomach and heart were still sinking, breath drained.

"I'm sorry," you said lightly.

"Now, why would you be sorry?" the boy asked, chuckling a little as he moved his blue cap off his head. "If anything, you should be happy I'm finally leaving this dump of a home because of you. I get to study abroad!"

You pursed you lips at that.

"And besides," the boy chuckled out, finally allowing his light eyes to meet yours, "I might finally be able to have fun for a change...explore a new part of the world y'know? It could be good for me."

You felt tears form at your eyes. Forcing a smile, you nodded, "Y-Yeah, I'm excited for you."

The boy grinned when noticing the tears string up in your eyes. Chuckling he pouted for a second before placing his blue cap playfully onto your head, he messed up your hair as he shoved the cap teasingly onto your face more.

You slapped at his hand gently, laughing breathily before fixing the hat lamely onto your head and watching as he lay back onto the pillow next to you more comfortably again.

You let a tear escape you.

"You'll come back right?"

The boy smiled sweetly at that, the cut by his lower lip making your body feel slight relief that he was leaving. This could be good for him. To get away...

"Of course I will," the boy said slowly, warmness raging off the sweet individual who now poked at your nose, "An older brother always come back for their baby sis."

.

You snapped out of your thoughts the moment there was a hand slamming before you on the table. Jumping for a moment, you stared over at your father who was timidly placing a bag onto the counter. Not knowing why the soft noise seemed so loud to you, your jaw clenched as you tried to sneak away from what you were just thinking about.

"W-What time would you be back again?" you asked softly, looking over at your father who slowly smiled over at you.

"Soon sweetie," the man said lowly before awkwardly making eye contact with your mother who stood stalking up luggage by the door. "In about a week's time...you're used to this though, every year this is necessary."

"For Grandma and Mom's sake," you said lightly, head tilting as the saddened atmosphere of your house seemed to grow with every minute that passed by, "...but do you find this necessary?"

The last bit was soft from you. You watched as your father before you had his smile slowly falter, a saddening look swept his face as he slowly moved his hands to close the bag he had been filling up.

"Of course," the father said gently, voice barely above a whisper, "...he was my son after all."

You noticed the change in the old man's eyes. There was a gentleness to him that had grown with age. Sure, he wasn't the same man he was years ago, but around this time of year, everyone in the house would simply look back to the days your father wasn't gentle. The days he'd get caught onto his anger and insecurities...the days he showed nothing but regret and hatred towards your older brother.

"Let's head out," your mother said softly, kissing your father's cheek before moving to tell you a soft goodbye. "We'll miss the plane if we don't leave now."

You waved over at your Grandmother that moved out the door, her shoulders slouched more than usual. Sighing, you stared back at your father that seemed to be frozen and in his own thoughts from where he stood.

Your eyes were soft.

"You're a different man now Dad," you said softly, knowing he was probably beating himself up internally, "Don't let this trip for his anniversary get you down."

"Helic was a good boy," the man said softly, eyes tearing up as he managed to strap on the bag onto his shoulder. He continued, slowly tapping at your shoulder as he began to follow your mother towards the opened front door, "...heck, both of you were great. I was the one being stupid to pick favourites..."

You smiled painfully. Sighing, you kissed your father's cheek, watching as he moved down the hall and started to trail out with your mother. Once the front door closed, all silence filled the empty home.

You were alone...so you allowed yourself to cry.

-

Jungkook couldn't get the image of you crying out of his mind. His thoughts tormenting as all he seemed to always think about was you...

"Jungkook-ah," Hoseok called out, moving to go and switch over at the music again.

The maknae casted his gaze over to all his hyung's that stared over at him, out of breath, they wore irritated expressions on their faces. Here they were trying to practice and hold down choreography, and Jungkook continued to screw up.

"I'm sorry," the maknae said, smiling nervously as he went to go help Hoseok restart the music. "I'm just not focused right now."

"We can see that," Taehyung said lowly, glancing over at Jimin who slowly shrugged.

"I promise," the maknae began, determined as he ran to his spot on the floors, "I won't screw up this time."

Namjoon sighed, nodding before telling Hoseok to continue and play the song.

The started up the music again.

No use.

The maknae screwed up once again.

This time, there was less frustrated groans erupting from the rest of the boys as they simply looked at Jungkook with soft expressions.

Jin was the one to speak first.

"Alright boy," he said sternly, crossing his arms at his chest. His eyes were rested dead and center over at Jungkook as he spoke, "I think it's time we all had a group talk."

Jungkook swallowed down the lump that started to block at his throat. He blinked, noticing that no one left his gaze, he found his palms to sweat.

"You first Jungkook-ah," Yoongi said, eyes narrowing, "Let's start with you first."

-

"Ah, why'd I have to be first," Jungkook mumbled in nerves, feet lightly tapping at the ground underneath him as he softly rang the doorbell before him the second time.

Glancing over his shoulder and towards PD-Nim's car that Jin was sitting in, Jungkook watched as the older man shot over a thumbs-up in his direction. Sighing, the maknae looked back in front, ringing the doorbell the third time.

"We'll be back soon," a voice chimed out as it softly yelled from behind Jungkook.

Jungkook's eyes widened, shaking at his head, the maknae tried to wave back Jin and PD-Nim that reversed the car in the parking lot. About to run off the porch he stood on, Jungkook froze in his shocked form the moment the door he was currently standing before swung open.

"Jungkook?" a confused and soft voice asked.

Jungkook's eyes shut. Swearing over at his hyung's, the maknae managed to clear at his throat before referring to the talk that had happened with the other members. From awkwardly speaking out his feeling and confusions, to speaking about you and all that had happened in your room the day they had stayed over...a lot had changed. The rest of the group was shocked none-the-less, all missing the detail of the closet though. There was no way I'd tell them about that.

What was weird was how all of them reacted differently. Jin, Namjoon and Hoseok were in their minds, brows furrowed deeply. Jimin and Taehyung were more shocked than anything else, while Yoongi...Yoongi had a different look in his eyes when the conversation of you came up. It made Jungkook feel uncomfortable and curious all in one.

Did Jungkook tell them about Jae? Yes. Yes, the maknae did. He did so because Jungkook was still extremely confused over Jae's character and why he was even in your life to begin with. None of anything about your life seemed to make sense to him, everything clouding him and making him want to know more.

They saw curiosity kills the cat? Well, sign me up for the role of the cat because I can't help but be curious.

"Y/N!" Jungkook cocked out, clearing at his throat again as an awkward smile formed his face, "Hi!"

"What're you doing here?" you asked, brows furrowing a little as you awkwardly tried not to look over at him much.

You had been crying a lot to yourself the entire day, and now having someone at the door was making you feel embarrassed. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to notice what you were doing all alone in your home.

Jungkook noticed though, he noticed. Eyes softening, the boy's lips parted.

"You okay?"

"I repeat," you mumbled out, confused and irritated over seeing the maknae's face in front of you, "What're you doing here?"

"I..." Jungkook struggled, trailing off as he awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck, an almost shy smile grazing his lips as he took forever to collect his thoughts. When it came to, he finally opened at his lips, ready to pull out what he had in his jacket pocket, only to have you roll your watery eyes impatiently and close the door on him.

Jungkook's smile fell a little at that, staring at the closed door before him. "Ah, you forgot your hat at Lia's last time we—" He stopped for a moment, pursing his lips at the memory of the time with you by the closet, "—w-we were around each other. I just thought I'd return—" The maknae shut up again, smiling hugely when you opened the door welcomingly again, about to ask about your crying state nicely, Jungkook's smile fell again when you thanked him softly, snatched the blue cap he had in his hand, and closed the door in his face again.

"Can we please talk?" Jungkook asked, voice trying not to beg as he slowly let his hand hesitantly move over to the door's surface, leaning against it as he tried to softly yell over at you from the porch. "I know you said we should never see each other," Jungkook swallowed lightly at that thought, growing awkward over what he was about to say next, "You've told me to stay away twice now, I've told you to stay away...and yet—"

The maknae's cheeks flew red when the door opened wide again. It was way easier talking about all the occurrences to the door, internally, he wished for you to slam the door in his face again. But on the surface, Jungkook was truly glad you did open the door again.

"You going to slam the door in my face again?" Jungkook asked softly, reading your gentle expression on the other end.

You shook your head a little, staring over at him innocently when spotting just how uncomfortable he seemed to look before you.

Jungkook's throat clenched, his back muscles tensing as he nodded and tried to utter out a chuckle. Instead, he kind of just choked on himself as he began to address why he was here.

"Okay, great," he said gently, smiling when seeing that you weren't slamming the door in his face, "Let me just—"

The maknae's jaw clenched when he spotted a soft smirk slowly starting to form on your lips. Stopping himself from speaking, the maknae rolled his eyes, wiggling his hand out for you to do what you were clearly about to do.

He sighed when you slammed the door the last time.

"You said you'd gladly leave me alone sir," you sang out from the other end, locking the door before moving to walk away through the hallway with the cap secure in your hand. "Now don't fall back on your own word."

Jungkook cringed at you referring to the first verbal fight the both of you had had. The day he had accused you of so much, all while disrespecting you...Is it too late to apologize?

The maknae sighed, eyes narrowing at the door for a moment.

"I'm not going to leave your porch," he sang right back out, voice determined and slightly strained as he tried to be loud and quiet at the same time.

There was no answer to that.

Jungkook lips curved upside down.

-

Your lips curved upside down.

Bottom lip trembling a little from the cold water that poured over you, you were no longer crying. Nor were you thinking about your family in this moment in time. No troubles, no past hauntings, nothing you regretted...in that moment, there was nothing but your shaking self and the cold water that dripped before you.

You tried to forget about you brother.

You tried to forget about the past, all regarding your brother.

You tried to forget what you did, and how you hid such secrets from you parents for years before them finding out...but it had been too late. If only I hadn't been a coward and borrowed money from Jae, you thought internally, gaze dead, I wouldn't have had to suffer for years trying to keep secrets.

Moving out of the shower, it took you a while to get into clothing that warmed your freezing body up. First, you struggled with your sweaters but grew frustrated when all you could see past your watering eyes was nothing but big blubs of blur. Moving out of your room and heading for your brothers, you wiped harshly at your cheeks, forcing yourself to get a hold of yourself.

The moment his clothes you usually used to sneakily steal from his closet were on you, you hugged away at the warmth that raged off his baggy attire. Sweats of your own on, you managed to put on the hood of the sweater, covering at your wet and cold head.

You sat at the side of your brother's bed for a while.

Eyes on all the pictures running around all the room.

"I miss you," you breathed out, missing the irritated stares and fights you'd have with him daily.

From the fights, to the deep talks whenever you needed help, to just...being an older brother. He was annoyingly perfect.

But he wasn't here anymore. Nor was he in London, England where he used to study years back.

Your brother was dead.

"You might have passed," you said softly, no more tears at your eyes as you simply talked to nothing but air, "...but you will never be gone."

-

"Be gone!" you screeched, eyes wide as you almost tripped in surprise when walking onto the porch. "Shoo! How—why are you still here?!"

Jungkook jump awoke, his knee that was facing up while he sat leaned against the door seemed to give out the moment you had yanked open the front door. He practically fell back onto you while you tripped, moving into the porch before he could fall back on you.

The maknae groaned in frustration, moving to balance onto his hands before having his palms help him off the ground so he was face-to-face with your bewildered expression.

"I told you I wouldn't leave your porch," he simply said, shrugging a little before focusing on wiping away the prints that were probably on the back of his jeans for sitting on the cold ground for so long.

Could the maknae feel his backside? No. No, he couldn't. He was too frozen to feel most parts of him now.

"You were serious?" you asked, eyes growing a little soft past the shade the sweater's hood seemed to give you. There was an instant feeling of slight guilt reach your gut. It had been chilly, and who knows if there were still press lurking around the streets. One glimpse of a sleeping Jungkook on your porch would have fed more fire to an already flaming forest fire.

"It's been almost 2 hours and you're still here?"

"Yes," Jungkook said lowly, eyes awkwardly meeting yours when spotting how you seemed to move a little back with your heels. "But uh, were you going somewhere?"

"For a walk," you said softly, face bare and tired when staring at him directly.

Jungkook nodded.

You nodded back.

The both of you nodded in silence to the point where it got more awkward than ever.

"Well, I'll just—"

"Oh yes!" Jungkook popped out at the same time as you, "I'll walk with you."

You nervously laughed at that, eyes narrowing over at the maknae self inviting himself. But before you could say anything, or call him out on it, the maknae seemed to panic within himself as he shot out a cheerful "let's go" and took hold of your hand. Practically dragging you down the stairs, you jogged a little to catch up to his feet that moved down your driveway.

"I was going to go alone," you said lowly, slightly irritated as you flinched away from his hold and walked on your own while next to Jungkook, "...but sure, I guess you can tag along since you stupidly waited outside my house."

"I wanted to talk to you."

"At the risk of someone seeing you here?" you asked, annoyed when glaring in his direction, "What if someone were to see?"

Jungkook watched as you looked away from him, the worried expression evident in your eyebrows that furrowed. He tried not to smile a little at the look as he nodded, apologizing.

You didn't say anything, simply staring at the sidewalk before the two of you.

About to speak up, the maknae genuinely let out a smile when your grumpy form seemed to stare over in his direction and aggressively point at his hood. He nodded, chuckling a light bit as he slowly allowed his hood to hide his face and head, similarly to how you had your head.

It was silence again.

The only thing heard was both of your breathing while walking side-by-side on the deserted sidewalk. The night was slowly starting to fall so not much light seemed to graze the sky apart from the changing colours of the sky, and the large lamp-like lights that trailed along all houses.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook breathed out, ripping it out into the open.

You pursed your lips, staring ahead and over at the long unknown destination you planned in your head. Instead, you simply let the maknae speak this time. No door slams to the face, no attitude out of temper...you let Jungkook speak.

"I'm sorry for the day I pulled you away from the BigHit building's roof so rudely," he started slowly, "I'm sorry for when I mistreated you when offering you to clean and cook for the boys...the things I said, and how I had you grow sick because of the harsh conditions."

You said nothing.

Jungkook stared at nothing but the side of your face, forcing himself to look away at moments when collecting his words.

The maknae's tongue went over his cold bottom lip for a moment, eyes shutting for a quick moment, he tried to recall all that he had done and he felt sick to his stomach. He felt terrible.

"...and that day where I accused you of stealing again," he started softly, "That day I'm sorry most of all."

Silence.