"Oh my God, Natalie, I've been waiting for you."

I take a deep breath as I close the apartment door and then turn around and smile at Cassie who is propped on the couch. "Hey, Cassie, what's up?"

I was dreading coming home for this very reason. I knew Cassie would want to talk about what happened yesterday with Josh. I was hoping she would be working but of course, she's home.

"What's up?" She asks, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "You're kidding, right? I can't believe you knew Josh all this time!"

"Right," I said slowly. "Yeah, that's pretty crazy, right?"

"He's the guy I told you about last time, do you remember? The summer fling four years ago? It was Josh! I can't believe he's Brad's brother. I don't know how I didn't think he looked familiar. They look alike now that I think about it."

"I figured." I try to smile feeling very uncomfortable.

"I'm still in shock. I never thought I was going to see him again but I'm so glad I did. It's like destiny, don't you think? This is too much of a coincidence."

She's so excited. It makes me feel guilty about everything. I don't really know what to say. I try to put myself in her shoes. If I had a summer fling and I fell in love with the guy. I imagine thinking that I was never going to see him again and then one day years later, he appears at my doorstep like magic. When I think about it, yes, it does seem like destiny. That would be one side of the coin. The other side is the real reason Josh appeared on her doorstep.

"Yeah, it's kind of crazy isn't it?" I say taking a seat next to her because I know she's not going to let this go so I might as well get this conversation over with.

"Josh told me you guys have known each other since high school?" She asks.

I nod. "Yeah. We were best friends. I met Brad through him."

"So crazy! So you know how amazing he is right?" She smiles ear to ear. "He's so kind and caring and hot, of course. I still remember the nights that we spend together. They were unforgettable."

I try not to show any emotion but it feels like she just stabbed a knife in my chest. Unwanted images of her and Josh are rushing through my mind. I want to stand up and go into my room or go anywhere where I won't have to see her. It's so crazy to think that I considered her my friend and she still is-but there is something in between us now and I'm not sure I can look past it. The worst part is that she is so oblivious to what is happening. If only she knew that the man I said I was having amazing sex with the other day is Josh.

She grabs my hand. "Tell me, is he seeing someone right now?"

I clear my throat. "Uh-I don't think that's for me to tell, Cassie. Why don't you ask him?"

She smiles shyly. "You're right, sorry. I wanted to ask him last night but I didn't want to seem too desperate. I'll ask him next time I see him."

I look at her. "You're seeing him again?"

"I hope so." She sighs dreamily. "Josh is something else, Nat. What we had was special and I know we still have it. I felt it the moment we saw each other again."

I force my lips into a smile. "That's-great."

"You guys still hang out, right?"

"Yeah, we work out together," I say casually.

"You probably know him better than me, what do you think? Any advice on what I can do?"

Wow. This is painful.

I take a deep breath and place my hand on top of hers. "Listen, Cassie, you are my friend and roommate and I'm happy for you. Josh and I have been friends for a long time. Please understand that it wouldn't feel right to tell you all his secrets for anyone's advantage." I pause then gulp. "I know this is going to sound corny but if it's meant to be then it'll be."

She nods with a smile. "You're right. And I do believe it's meant to be. He literally walked through my doorstep." She sighs. "It's destiny, Nat, I'm telling you."

I smile politely, wishing with all my heart I could be happy for her. "That's great, Cassie."

I know I'm not doing great at pretending but she is too high in the clouds to notice. She is head over heels for Josh and that worries me. It even makes me a bit sad. Sad for me. Sad for Josh. Sad for her. Josh could really have it all with her. He wouldn't have to worry about introducing her to his family or damaging his relationship with his brother. No drama. No tears.

I remember the conversation I had with him earlier today and force the other thoughts out of my head. We already went through this. I don't want to be that girl that nags about the other girl every five seconds especially when Josh and I are not even official. He's too kind to me. He doesn't owe me any explanations yet he always gives them without a second thought. I have to trust him. This is not going to go on forever. Just until I get it together.

I excuse myself to my room after having an easier conversation about our day and I don't come out until it's time to got to the gym with Josh. That night when I get in his truck, I kiss him longingly hoping to somehow strengthen the thread that is keeping us together because I can feel it getting thinner and thinner with each passing day.

~~~~

I spend the whole week trying to avoid Cassie. Funny thing is that now that I don't want to see her, it's when I see her more often. Wednesday night, she's hanging out in my bedroom when I start packing for Newport. Tomorrow is July 4th so I'll be driving to Newport tomorrow. Brad and Josh will be joining us later in the day after their shift is over. I think Crystal is coming as well.

"Is Josh going?" Cassie asks after I tell her what I'm packing for.

"I think so," I say slowly. I know where this is going and I don't like it.

"Would you mind if I tag along? I've been dying to go to Newport and I actually have the day off tomorrow."

I look down, trying to hide my annoyance. "Uh, sure, if you want to. I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind."

Nobody would mind, except me. Gosh. Am I a horrible person? I'm just a liar which could mean the same thing.

"Really? Thank you!"

I offer her a small smile. "Of course."

She claps her hands together. "I'm so excited! I'm going to go pack."

I finish packing with much less excitement than before. I go to bed afterwards, not wanting to think about tomorrow. I know that Cassie and Josh have been texting because she told me. I haven't told anything to Josh. He can text whoever he wants to text. I'm really trying not to become that girl. I don't want to annoy Josh. He asked me to trust him so that's what I'm trying to do.

Cassie and I arrive in Newport at around ten the next morning. Louisa is already there.

"This is Cassie, my roommate." I introduce her to my parents, Savannah, and of course Louisa.

"You're Josh's mother?" Cassie asks.

Louisa nods. "Yes. Do you my son?" She asks with a smile.

"We actually met four years ago in North Carolina," Cassie says sitting down next to her. "I had just graduated college and was about to head back here to Portland."

I exchange a look with Savannah who raises her eyebrows at me. I grab her hand and pull her down the hall to my room, knowing Cassie will be okay out there.

"Are you trying to hand Josh over to her or something?" Savannah asks me once I close the door.

"She asked if she could come, I didn't want to be rude."

Savannah lays on my bed and I go and lay next to her. "I don't know, Nat, this is getting too messy."

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Make a decision," she says with a shrug. "If you want to be with Josh then come clean to everyone. If you don't, then..." she lets the sentence hang but the message is loud and clear.

"I want to be with Josh. I just don't want to tell anyone yet." I bite my lip.

"Then brace yourself because this Cassie girl seems to be very enthusiastic about your unofficial boyfriend."

"I know." I sigh in annoyance. "She says destiny brought him back to her life."

"Could be true."

I roll my eyes at her. "Whose side are you on?"

She laughs. "I'm just saying."

I sigh as I stare up at the ceiling. "They've been talking..."

Savannah props up on one elbow and looks at me. "Josh is a good man, Nat. I'm sure he's not going to cheat on you but I think that he also has his limits."

I frown. "I hate it when you act like a grown up."

"I am a grown up," she says smirking. "So are you."

"Just let me nap," I say turning to the side and closing my eyes.

"Oh yes, because napping will solve your issues."

"Yes, it will." I joke and I can almost see her rolling her eyes at me.

I do end up falling asleep. I don't know why I've been feeling tired these past few days. It's probably because of this double life I'm living. It's physical pleasurable but emotional draining.

The nap doesn't help because I dream that I am pregnant. I'm eight months in the dream and it feels so real that I wake up sweating. I'm alone in my room and the light coming through the windows let's me know that it's later in the day. I check the time. It says 6:47 p. m. Wow. Did I really sleep through the whole day? It was supposed to be a thirty minute nap.

I get off my bed and look through my bag for my pills. I know I was supposed to get my period last week but I didn't think much of it because sometimes I don't even get it at all for a month or two. I'm probably overreacting. It was just a dream. Why in the world did my brain decide to dream about being pregnant? Now I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about it until I take a test.

I sigh then grab my keys and walk out of my room. The inn is mostly quiet and when I go out, I realize that it's because everyone is huddled outside around a campfire. Right. It's a holiday. No. No. No. No. I know that I probably won't find the pharmacy open but I still sneak out and half run to my car. It's only a five minute drive but it's useless because it's closed. I see a dollar store across the street and drive over there quickly. They're about to close but I'm able to sneak inside.

I know the quality of the test is probably not the best but that doesn't matter. I just need something to give me a negative. I have to be overreacting. I cannot be pregnant. I can't. I buy three tests and try to avoid the eyes of the lady behind the counter because I feel like she's probably judging me. It's probably just me though. I know I'm panicking a bit for obvious reasons.

"Thanks." I murmur as she hands me the bag then hurry out of there.

When I get back to the inn, I hear chatter inside and I frown. I can't speak with anyone right now. It's too late for that though because when I walk in, Brad, Crystal, Josh, and Cassie are all hanging out in the living room. I think they just got here except for Cassie, of course, whom I abandoned the whole day. I wish I wouldn't have taken that stupid nap. They're all laughing about something when I walk in. I grip the bag in my hands nervously.

"Natalie! I thought you were still sleeping," Cassie says when she sees me.

I try to smile. "I was but needed to run to the store really quick." My eyes land on Josh involuntarily who is giving me a weird look. I know he knows something is up. I look at him and think about how quick his life could change.

No. Natalie, stop it. You're getting ahead of yourself.

Brad is suddenly in front of me. "Hey, Nat. It's good to see you."

I glare at him, remembering that he came to speak with my parents behind my back. He frowns. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I snap. "You coming to speak with my parents is what's wrong."

"Oh. You know about that."

I sigh. "I don't want to speak with you right now, Brad. Excuse me."

I try to walk past him but he reaches for my hand making me trip over the center table and falling to the ground. I gasp. Not because I hurt myself but because the bag fell from my hands, and one of the boxes slides out on the floor as if it were a hockey puck.

Everything seems to stop and I close my eyes, awaiting the worst humiliation of my life.

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