I am as excited to speak with Brad as I was when I saw Crystal in Newport.

I know I have no right to be but I'm annoyed that Josh invited her. Now I'm wondering what is going on between them. For some reason, I just realized that they work together. He sees her more than me. They have more things in common. Not only that but Crystal is very attractive. She has a killer body and the face that makes you look at her too long because it's that pretty. Worst of it all is that I can't show my annoyance because I have no claim over Josh. So I have to suck it up and pretend all is good in the world. It doesn't help that she is so nice to me.

This is what's going through my head as I walk next to Brad on the beach. I'm freezing. I was ready to go inside but then Brad said he wanted to talk. I knew there was a chance that he was going to come too but I was still surprised to see him. The dark circles under his eyes make him look tired. I wish he would go sleep.

"So," I finally break the silence, suddenly impatient to get this over with. It's so weird to be with him now, especially with what I'm feeling for his brother. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't know..." he hesitates. "We haven't talked since we broke up."

We stop walking and I face him. "I don't think there's anything left to talk about, Brad."

He looks at me and there's a sadness in his eyes. "It feels weird to not talk to you, Nat."

I feel my face soften and my shoulders relax. "I know."

He looks at the ocean as the waves come crashing against each other. I'm grateful for the background noise. He reaches for my hand. "I want to ask for another chance."

I shake my head slowly, pulling my hand away. "Brad...I'm sorry, no."

"Why not? Did you already move on with someone else?"

"Of course not. I'm not like you fucking a different girl every night." I retort feeling angry at him.

"I'm sorry." He sighs. "I'm an idiot, Nat. I know I don't make the best decisions when I'm feeling down but-I love you."

"Stop it." I beg. "Please, Brad. There's really no point. I think-" I look down at my feet. "We did the right thing breaking up. We're both different people now."

"You can't dismiss the time we spent together just like that." He reproches.

I narrow my eyes at him in annoyance. "Are you kidding? You're the one who cheated and was in bed with someone else the very next day." I shake my head in disbelief. "You're unbelievable."

He sighs in frustration. "I keep fucking up, don't I?"

"There's nothing to fuck up anymore, Brad. It's over. I think we owe it to ourselves to move on, don't you think?"

He shakes his head. "I'm always going to love you, Natalie. No matter how much time passes. You'll always be the one for me."

"Don't say that," I say shaking my head. "Just live your life, Brad. Do whatever you want. Be happy."

"I can only be happy with you."

"You wouldn't have cheated if you really meant that." I point out.

He reaches for my hand again. "Natalie, please, I'll do anything. Tell me, what would make you want to give me another chance?"

I shake my head. "Brad, don't do this to yourself." I put his hand in between mine and look into his eyes. "There is no going back. It's over between us. I hope that one day we can find some common ground and be friends but that is it. All I can offer is my friendship. I need you to understand that."

"I don't understand it," he says. "You never loved me, did you? You wouldn't be giving up this fast if you did."

I frown at his words. "Of course I loved you, Brad. I already gave you eight years of my life just for you to throw them all away in one night. I can't give you any more years for you to screw them up again. It's over."

I don't wait for his response. I turn around and begin to walk back to the inn. Brad has to be the most stubborn person I know. He's always been that way. I know he can go all night arguing with me until he makes me do what he wants. It worked for many years but I can't do that anymore. I won't. I really hope he sees how serious I am and doesn't keep pushing it. Knowing him, I know he's going to insist a little more. I just have to keep shutting him down until he gets tired and stops.

I walk inside the inn at the same time my mom is walking down the stairs. She smiles at me. "Natalie, honey, come. We're having lunch."

I take a deep breath and follow her to the dining room. Everyone is seated around the dining room table and chatting while eating Mom's red cheese enchiladas. I put a smile on my face and greet Louisa and Clint.

"Nat, over here!"

I look over at my sister Savannah who is motioning to the seat next to her which is also next to Josh. She smiles. "Saved you a seat."

I roll my eyes at her. "Thanks."

My arm brushes against Josh's making my body tense instantly. Once again, my body is aware of his presence and close proximity. I yearn to feel his hands on me.

"Well?" Savannah asks me in a low voice. "What did Brad want?"

"I don't really want to talk about it right now." I tell her picking up my fork. I don't need everyone to know about my drama with Brad though I'm sure they know there is drama anyhow.

"Would you like lemonade?" Josh asks to my left.

I smile. "Yes, thank you."

He reaches for my glass and fills it up with lemonade. He hands it to me and our fingers brush as I take it. He smiles. "You're welcome."

I look away, pursing my lips suddenly feeling really hot. I think it's the nerves. I love being this close to Josh but it's not enough. I want more. I wish we were alone in the room. I wish it was just me and him. By the way he's looking at me, I can tell he feels the same way which is both flattering and scary at the same time.

"So, Josh," Dad says. "I'm sure you're happy to be back home?"

Josh looks at Dad and nods. "Yes, sir."

"Have you adjusted well?"

Josh shrugs. "Mostly, yes, the station keeps me busy enough."

"Yes, we heard about the explosion on Thursday," Mom says reaching for her drink. "So glad no one was seriously injured."

Clint nods. "I am too. It could have ended really bad."

Louisa puts her hand on top of Clint's and squeezes it. "I'm just glad my boys were safe."

"I share that worry with you, Louisa," Mom says. "I've already told you. If you ever feel like you don't want to be home alone while they're working, call me. I'm always here."

"She really doesn't sleep." Dad chuckles.

"I do too," Mom says rolling her eyes at him. "You know, five hours." She laughs.

Mom is always busy doing things in the inn or taking care of guests. She literally never stops. She's cleaning or making food or mending something in the inn all day every day. She's the hardest hard-worker I know.

"Well, it's definitely nice to be out here together again," Louisa says smiling at everyone. "With Josh and Crystal, of course. And-" she frowns then looks at me. "Where is Brad?"

"Honey," Clint says softly.

Louisa laughs nervously. "I'm so sorry, Natalie. I'm so used to asking you about him." Her smile fades. "It's a real shame about you two."

"It's okay," I say with a small smile.

"You'll always be like a daughter to me. Marriage or not," she says smiling at me. Clint nods in agreement next to her.

I suddenly feel like crying. "Thank you. That's sweet of you to say."

"You raised two incredible daughters, Gloria. You really did."

"Hey, what about me?" Dad jokes.

"You too, Larry, of course." Louisa says.

I turn to look at Savannah who is rolling her eyes. I smile, gulping down the knot in my throat. I finish my food quickly then excuse myself to the kitchen, needing a moment to breathe.

I'm washing the dishes when I feel him walk in. It's incredible how responsive my body is towards him. I've never experienced anything like this. Not even with Brad. It's as if my body is connected to Josh in some supernatural way. It scares me but I also find pleasure in it.

"Hey," he says softly standing next to me.

"Hey," I say then reach for his plate. "I got it."

"Thanks," He says letting me take it but he doesn't leave. He leans his back against the counter next to the sink and watches me. The plate slips from my hands making it clatter against the steel of the sink. He chuckles softly. "Be careful."

I smile sheepishly. "You're making me nervous."

"I just wanted to know if you were okay," he says quietly.

I place the plate on the dish stand to dry then turn to look at him. God. He's so handsome. I love his strong jaw and how visible his Adam's Apple is. I love his eyes watching me...

I leave the water running so no one hears us in the dining room but still speak in a low voice. "I am." I pause, knowing what he is really asking. "He wanted another chance." I look at him feeling a little embarrassed though I don't know why.

"Ah." Josh nods once, his gaze lowering.

"I said no," I say quickly and he looks at me again

A smile plays on his lips. "I didn't invite Crystal," he says in response. "Mom invited her. I had nothing to do with it."

I can't fight the smile that forms on my lips when he says that. I feel relieved and happy. And then my smile fades. Josh raises his hand and then stops it mid air and drops it. "What's wrong?" He asks softly.

"Nothing. It's just-" I look up at him. "What are we doing?"

What are we doing? We're not together but we're giving each other explanations as if we were. We're not together but I was jealous of Crystal when I saw her with Josh earlier today. We're not together but it feels like we should be because I want him to kiss me right now very badly.

Josh hesitates then he faces me and puts his palm against my cheek. I lean against it, longingly. My skin burns under his touch.

"What do you want, Natalie?" He whispers looking right into my eyes.

"I think you know."

"Tell me." He urges. "I want to hear you say it."

I am completely mesmerized by him. So mesmerized, I don't care that we are in my parent's kitchen. I don't care that someone can walk in right now and see us. I don't care about anything but him. "I want-" I pause trying to get the courage to say it. I'm not usually the one to demand things when it comes to guys. I'm not used to voicing what I want though I should be. Everyone should. We don't tell each other what we want enough in the every day world. "I want you to kiss me." I whisper shyly.

He half smiles in satisfaction and then he leans in and presses his lips against mine. My body melts as our lips make contact. I feel his tongue on my lower lip and I part them, giving him access in. Our tongues dance together as his arm goes around my waist. I don't want this moment to end. I want to feel his tongue everywhere. I want his hands all over me. Either Josh reads my mind or he feels the same way because his touch becomes urgent. Both of his hands grip my waist while his lips move faster against mine.

"Natalie!"

I open my eyes at the same time Josh does and see Savannah standing in the doorway. "Mom is coming!" She hisses.

Josh drops his hands and steps away from me just in time for Mom to walk in the kitchen. "Excuse me," he says in a low voice then he walks out looking down at the floor.

I turn around and put my hands under the running cold water, trying to get my heart rate back to normal. My lips feel swollen and I know it shouldn't but that makes me smile.

"I got it, Mom," I say without looking at her as she places dirty dishes on the sink.

"Thank you, mija."

I don't think I've ever been happier at washing dishes. Of course a lot has to do with the fact that I can still feel Josh's hands on my waist. I can still feel his lips...the sensation of his tongue against mine...

Nothing can make me feel lower than the sky right now.

Not even dirty dishes.

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