《Bonded | Kylo Ren x Reader |》~Head or Heart~

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Just as Kylo had said, you were scheduled to leave early the next morning. Although you wouldn't be seeing him for just a week, it was strange being separated. He was one of the only people you knew in the Order. One of the only people you trusted. Six others were assholes, one was an arrogant general, and the last was a Stormtrooper you hadn't spoken to in a long time.

So naturally, you were a little nervous to be alone. You bade him farewell and good luck with the prisoner, but you also warned him to be cautious. Neither of you knew what the girl was capable of yet. It would be wise to keep a wary eye out. The goodbyes were quick but that was what you had preferred. You weren't going off to war but it wasn't going to be easy either. Kylo didn't even walk you to the transport. You boarded alone and departed alone with nothing but bags full of clothes.

You were a little relieved to see the familiar sights of the Finalizer when it came into view after a long flight of listening to Hux's yammering. You would have rather stayed on the base with someone you knew, but at least you knew your way around the massive ship... more or less. As the ship touches down, the Stormtroopers carry your bags up to your quarters, leaving you to do whatever you pleased. Whatever you pleased. Hm, you hadn't really thought about it that way. With Kylo back on Starkiller, nobody could give you commands except for generals. Being the commander's apprentice had its perks. A smirk tugs at your lips as you stroll coolly through the halls in your new robes. Maybe this wouldn't be half bad. Maybe people would finally start giving you respect.

That respect quickly goes down the drain when you slam into someone coming around the corner. And it hurt. You went right into a chest of thick white armor. You take a step back immediately, your cheeks flushing red. Then the embarrassment fades when your eyes catch on the familiar nick in the Stormtrooper's armor.

"Kess?" You whisper.

He grabs your wrist and you gasp as he yanks you through the door beside you into a small storage room. Kess rips his helmet off, letting it fall to the floor. He grips the sides of your face, his lips crashing against yours. Kess's tongue skims your lower lip and you quickly pull away. He didn't seem to think much of it since his hands were still holding onto your face.

"Where did you go? Nobody told me anything! I hadn't seen you in days and then you just disappeared." Kess's eyebrows knit together worriedly. "The commander didn't do anything to hurt you, did he?"

Not really. "No." You brace your hands on Kess's shiny chest plate that had collided with your chin just moments before. "Don't worry. I'm fine. Ren transferred me over to Starkiller Base for a week because of a delegate visit. Nothing serious, I promise."

Apparently this wasn't very convincing. "Why didn't you come see me before then? The last time I saw you was in the cafeteria. You know... when Kylo Ren nearly killed me."

How could you forget? You were so afraid for Kess's life. So convinced that Kylo was going to kill him then and there. How were you going to explain that your master was horribly jealous and forbade you from seeing him? There was no way you could tell Kess about your little 'affair' with Kylo Ren. It would break his sensitive heart. You couldn't do that to the man who had shown you more kindness than anyone else in the First Order. Even more than Kylo, but that wasn't very tough to beat. With all of this stress, you were beginning to grow flustered.

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"I-I'm sorry," you stammer. "I was scared that he was going to hurt you again and-and I couldn't risk that. I-"

"Hey," Kess says softly, tipping your chin up. "Shhh, it's okay. It's alright. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I know you're important now. Next time just tell me before you take off. You nearly scared me half to death."

Your heart melts. How could one man be this kind? This was the kind of person you pictured when you were younger. The kind of person you could spend your life with. You never really pictured a man whose face you hadn't seen before who fucked you and was nice once in a while. Kess was something else. He was so different. It was so refreshing to have someone like this after being with Kylo for so long.

Kess gives you a crooked grin. "I have a little bit of time before my next shift. I know this closet isn't very cozy but we could make it work." His hand slides onto your hip and he begins to lean in.

Panic, panic, panic. You didn't know what to do. Your head was screaming at you to push him away but your heart was telling you to let it happen. Head or heart, head or heart? Kess reaches down and slides his hand into your pants, his fingers toying with your heat. Shit. You grab him by the top of his chest plate, pulling him down to slam your lips against his. Kess tongue slides into your mouth, provoking a low moan from you. His other hand tugs your robes off and pulls your shirt over your head while his fingers slide into your cunt. You moan and sink down onto his digits, moving your hips as your eyes roll back. Kess tugs your pants and underwear off, and quickly discards most of his armor on the floor.

He unzips his pants and removes his hand from in between your legs. You whine and he chuckles as his hands lock around the back of your thighs, hoisting you up onto one of the shelves. Kess pulls you forward and separates your knees, giving him a view of your glistening pussy. He reaches down and pulls his hard cock out of his pants, yanking you forward. You moan as his length slides in between your folds. His hips snap rhythmically against yours as he grunts and pants. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling yourself further into him. Your inner-walls pulse around his cock and Kess's lips collide with yours.

"Fuck," he pants. "You're so good. You're beautiful. Stars, how did I get so lucky?" Kess grunts as his pace begins to grow uneven. Your nails dig into his back as you rest your chin on his shoulder. "Fuck!" He moans as he comes into you. Kess pulls himself out and takes a deep breath, putting his cock back into his pants as his cum drips from your cunt.

"No," you breathe. "Don't go."

He chuckles at your eagerness. "Whatever you want, princess." Kess pulls your hips towards him and he bends down, placing his mouth on your dripping cunt.

Your fingers run through his hair and you inhale sharply as he sucks on your aching clit. His flat tongue slips into your folds, lapping up his cum and your juices as you arch your back and moan lewdly. Kess lifts your legs and hangs them over his shoulders as he expertly eats you out. Your face twists with pleasure. There was no regret in you now but you knew it would come later.

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"Oh," you exclaim as your body convulses and cums on Kess's face.

He licks his lips as he pulls away and kisses you passionately. "So beautiful," he murmurs against your lips. "Stars, you're amazing." Kess reaches for a stack of clean towels sitting on one of the work benches. He helps clean you up as your body slowly relaxes. The Stormtrooper helps you down and presses another kiss to your forehead. "I have to get to work but I'll see you tonight. Hopefully."

You nod and give him a weak smile as he fits all of his armor back onto his body. Kess winks at you and slips out of the storage room. You groan and run your hands through your hair. If Kylo ever found out he would kill Kess and you would never hear the end of it. Great. This was yet another mess you had gotten yourself into. You could never blame Kess for it. The poor boy had nothing to do with this, but that's not the way Kylo would see it. In his eyes, both parties were guilty. The only problem was that Kess would have to pay for your error with his life. You silently scold yourself as you wait a few more minutes, before slipping out of the room.

When you reach your empty quarters, you fight back the urge to flop onto your bed and wallow in your own self-pity. Instead, you drag your bags over to your closet and begin to fill it up with all of your new clothes. You continue to chide yourself quietly as you work. How stupid could you be? All you had to do was push him away but something didn't allow you to. Secrets were never safe from Kylo. All it took was for him to look into your mind.

Stupid Force connection, you scowl. This wouldn't even be happening if... if we weren't connected. And he still hadn't given you an explanation for the connection. You were starting to think Kylo didn't want to tell you. You had done some reading on dyads in the Force in ancient texts, but they were very vague. As far as you could tell, dyads were either formed purposefully or created when two individuals had known each other before. Well, you didn't know Kylo before he swept you up so the only possible explanation was that he had done it himself. But why?

"Busy?" A cold voice startles you.

You fly to your feet and scowl at the man standing by your door. "What can I do for you, General?"

"Oh nothing," Hux drawls, lazily picking at his nails. "I just witnessed a very curious thing and I was hoping you might provide some answers."

You frown, cocking a brow suspiciously. "What do you want?"

He gives you a wicked grin. "Well I just so happened to be passing a storage room when I heard something peculiar inside. I thought to myself that voice sounds familiar. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Kylo Ren was fucking his apprentice inside that storage room. But then I remembered... Kylo Ren isn't here."

"You slimy little-" you lunge at him angrily.

"Ah!" Hux puts one finger up. "I would hate for your little secret to slip and for Kylo Ren to find out. That would be a shame, wouldn't it? Unless..." he raises his eyebrows.

"Unless what?" You spit.

The general sneers at you. "Unless we make a little deal. I don't tell Ren your little secret and you do a little something for me."

"What do you want?"

"I haven't decided yet." Hux looks you up and down. "I'm currently debating between keeping you as a slave, using your pretty body for my own pleasure, or keeping this to myself until I really need a favor."

Your face falls. Hux gives you a sinister grin, before wriggling his fingers in a little wave and strolling from your room. You sit down at the edge of your bed, covering your mouth with your hand. Fuck.

~

Your week on the Finalizer was slow and rather boring. You lived in constant anxiety about Hux's threats. At any second he could spring his request upon you and you were in no position to refuse. Had it been anything else, you couldn't have cared less what Kylo thought. The only reason you agreed to the general's deal was to protect Kess. The moment Kylo knew about what had happened, especially after his orders not to go near the Stormtrooper, Kess's life would be in danger. You couldn't let that happen. You had lost nearly everyone that was close to you. You couldn't lose him too.

When you weren't worrying, you were training. It had been awkward in the beginning of the week because of the Knights. They hadn't said a word about what they had witnessed, which meant Kylo most definitely threatened them to secrecy. Now it seemed they couldn't even make eye-contact with you anymore, so much as to hold up a conversation. You wouldn't ever admit it to your master, but working with them helped you make a lot of progress when it came to combat. When you trained with them, their different fighting styles helped you adjust and modify your own. Now you were comfortable with a combination of forms four and five. You couldn't wait for Kylo to come back so you could show him what you had learned.

The week was drawing to a close and the last day was upon you. You were proud of yourself, more or less, for being able to handle it. The only thing that went wrong was Hux's blackmail attempt but other than that, it went swimmingly. Starkiller Base had been pretty silent for the most part. No reports had come in about Kylo getting viciously murdered by a scavenger, so that was swell. By now if she hadn't agreed, she would be dead.

 Or so Kylo had promised. You knew the girl was going to be completely useless from the moment she had arrived. It was clear she had no intent of joining the First Order. Nothing Kylo could say would be able to change that. In fact, you were pleased that she wouldn't be joining. Deep down you were a little jealous of your master's desire to win her over. Good thing that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. You were happy that everything was going to be alright at least just for a little while. Just for one moment you had peace in your life.

Turns out peace was something valuable and valuable things tended to disappear at the worst of times. You were now running. Running with your hopes sinking and tears stinging at your eyes. Your heart was beating so fast, you were sure it would burst right out of your chest. Your nails were digging into your palms, leaving little crescent shapes behind and your eyes were wild and full of fear. Please don't take him, a sob escapes your lips, please don't take him too. Just a few hours earlier, word came of a Resistance attack on Starkiller Base. With Kylo still on it.

All you could do was stand helplessly in the command deck while everyone was rushing around in panic. The hours dragged and the only thing that filled your ears were the pleas of help coming over every intercom. Those pleas went silent soon after. The silence was filled with rapidly beating hearts and terrified expressions. Starkiller Base had exploded from the inside-out and your master was still there.

You had spent so much time screaming and pleading for someone to take you there, but nobody listened and your voice had gone hoarse. Your eyes turned puffy and red from all the tears you had shed over him. You didn't know if he was dead or alive until another hour later. A transmission came in saying most of the base had been evacuated, but not before hundreds lost their lives in the explosion that rocked the planet's core. One of the evacuees was Kylo... but he was hurt. Badly.

And now you were running. Running to the medical bay in hopes that you would see him alive. See his chest rising and falling and see his limbs all attached. Tears blur your vision as you burst through the doors, your breathing erratic and sharp as your chest heaves. Doctors and nurses were rushing left and right to aid bleeding officers and Stormtroopers that had gotten injured in the attack. The rest must have been divided among the rest of the fleet of Finalizers.

"Lay down, Commander! You'll tear your wounds even more."

You whirl around, your eyes falling upon a hospital bed with a curtain drawn around it. Most of the attention was focused on that bed. There were Stormtroopers standing guard around it while doctors attended to him. Kylo. He was alive. You hurry towards the bed, craning your neck to see your master, only to be stopped by the troopers. They grab you by the arms and push you back angrily.

"Let me through." You order. "I have a right to see him."

"No!" Kylo's hoarse voice meets your ears. "Don't let her through."

Your heart sinks. What? Why wouldn't he let you see him? You needed to see him. There was no way you could just sit and wait. You lunge toward the Stormtroopers, but they grab you roughly. "No!" You scream. "Let me go! I have to see him! Please!" Hot tears stream down your face. "Please! Kylo! KYLO!"

They drag you out of the medical bay kicking and screaming. The soldiers don't stop until they reach your door and throw you in a heap onto the floor. You let out a sob as the door is shut and locked from the outside. You were so defeated you couldn't even find the strength to pull yourself up from the floor. As you lie there on the cold ground, your tears drip from your face and pool by your cheeks. Your heart hurt and your head was pounded. All you could feel was numbness as your eyes sank shut and you accepted the defeat of another death yet again.

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