Cale wasn't fucking stupid.

And while he did have a propensity to overthink things and come up with absolutely ridiculous solutions to problems, he had an innate skill for seeing things as they were.

Alberu Crossman was identical to the Alberu from his dreams.

And he could read that man like the back of his hand.

Alberu was Alberu. It was just that fucking simple.

But Cale wouldn't be Cale if he wasn't obstinate and stubborn to a fault.

'So fucking what?'

So what if the prince was the same one from his dreams? He still had many valid and unchanging reasons to hate him. Actually, that was yet another reason to hate him!

Who the fuck did Alberu think he was? Invading his dreams and fucking with his heart like this?

Just because he was a stupid crown prince or king or whatever the fuck, that did not give him the right to fuck with Cale's head like this.

And if he was wrong and they really weren't the same, that was even better! Because Cale had every intention of hating Alberu from as far away as possible. It had already been two weeks since the incident and he'd successfully avoided running into Alberu Crossman at any event where they both attended.

However, apparently in exchange, every single night was another dream.

It was just about enough to drive a guy crazy.

Not Cale though. He was perfectly sane as he sat in the carriage on the way to yet another obnoxious celebration to rub elbows with the elite and contemplated the pros and cons of smashing the future king over the head with a wine bottle.

Pros, no more dreams, no more Alberu, no more frustration.

Cons, treason, execution, his family ruined.

He let out a long sigh and glared out the window, entirely ignoring Basen's curious look. He knew his brother wondered about his behavior lately but he didn't have an explanation.

Cale had chosen to maintain a low-profile above all else which meant he was acting out less in public and mostly sought out isolated areas to peacefully rest. For Basen, who had fully expected to need a leash to keep Cale from flipping a table or two, this was probably somewhat worrying behavior.

He really didn't like worrying Basen. This was also Alberu's fault. What an asshole.

Essentially, Cale's chaotic thoughts hadn't really calmed down for two weeks and he was scared out of his wits at the possibilities that lined the thorny path ahead.

This had been reflected in his dreams as well. Except in his dreams, he sought out comfort from his chaotic thoughts from the source of the chaos. That and just an obcsene amount of sex. Just way too much. When he felt anxious and chaotic, sex was a really good outlet.

He wasn't normally shy about the depravities his dreams could offer him because they were dreams. Everyone had the occassional sexual dream. It was a private experience for just himself.

But what if it wasn't? If Alberu Crossman really was the same Alberu from his dreams then all of the things they'd done together...

Cale scowled darkly at the scenery as they approached the venue for the event. Of course today was the crown prince's palace.

And of course the scenery that he'd never seen before in his entire life looked as familiar as the back of his hand with the number of times he'd been here in his dreams.

'...I really should kill that bastard.'

That was the other thing. Cale knew that he wasn't behind the dreams. But if dream Alberu was also real Alberu, that meant the bastard was pretty damn proficient with magic. Cale didn't know much about magic but considering there were only two parties involved in this incident and one of them had magic and the other knew that he didn't do it...

Well, treason just seemed more and more appealing the more he contemplated it. He couldn't possibly understand why Alberu would choose to manipulate his dreams but why didn't fucking matter when homicide was just so much more appealing.

The venue did offer a unique opportunity for Cale though.

He remained relatively well-behaved as they were invited into the ballroom, only sneering a little bit at people he disliked, and as was coming to Basen expect, Cale excused himself as quickly as feasible and disappeared into the crowd.

Cale made a beeline for the west balcony, ignoring the vivid memories of dancing in this very hall in his dreams. He didn't pay very much attention, only his goal. The second he'd reached the balcony, he closed and locked the doors behind him and glared darkly at an inconspicuous nook that ought not to interest anyone very much.

His fingers were trembling as he found the familiar lever and heard a click as a mechanism got to work.

Cale stared at the revealed tunnel.

His trembling hand fell at his side and his legs felt weak beneath him.

He knew where the tunnel led.

Despite his certainty, Cale allowed for reasonable doubt. Maybe it really was all just a dream. Maybe his memories were playing tricks on him.

He used anger as a crutch to avoid allowing himself to ruminate on any other emotion.

Cale suddenly felt the heartbreak all at once.

Everything else was something he could have guessed. Alberu looked identical to his dreams but who didn't know the appearance of the crown prince, soon to be king? He recognized the palace grounds but they weren't unique. Anyone could guess how a palace might be landscaped.

Rationality fled from his thoughts as he stared into the tunnel.

There was absolutely no reason he should know the exact location of a secret path inside of the crown prince's palace.

His lip trembled and his eyes stung painfully.

Numbly, he entered the tunnel and closed the door behind him. It was dark inside but he knew where to step. Where the tunnel ended.

The garden maze greeted his misty eyes when he exited and he really thought he might collapse.

...why not? He was the only one out here? Cale walked through the maze after closing the passage way. His feet didn't feel real beneath him.

Nothing felt real.

Fuck it.

He let his legs buckle beneath him and fell gracelessly onto the grass, staring up at the evening sky with bitterness bubbling inside of him.

He really fell in love.

It was just a stupid dream but he'd fallen for the man he met there. He longed for the dreams on nights they didn't come.

He knew that his Alberu wasn't real and he didn't care because he was in love and he was happy.

"...I guess I was a big fucking joke to him..." Cale felt a miserable lump in his throat, hiding his face behind his arms. "I hope you got a good laugh in, fucker."

His trembling words couldn't even summon up proper anger.

His dreams were real.

Someone, likely Alberu, had been playing with him this whole time.

They probably got a big fucking chuckle out of it all. Seeing Cale simper away for love like a desperate dog.

How fucking pathetic could he get?

Cale let out a hollow laugh. He wasn't stupid. He knew that he didn't have any worth as a romantic target. Even in the fucking dreams their relationship couldn't be public because of how fucking worthless he was.

He was a useless tool for some sick bastard to get his jollies off.

He'd known but he'd been able to postpone those wretched feelings with a handwave of it could all still be a dream, just get angry, just avoid it.

Cale needed to know for sure though.

Now that he did he just felt raw and used.

The sound of grass crunching nearby let him know that someone was approaching but Cale didn't want to see who. Didn't even want to cuss them out. He'd lie here and pretend to be dead if he had to but he wasn't going to talk to anyone right now.

"Cale Henituse."

Cale flinched, his entire body tense at the far too familiar voice.

He wasn't ready.

Maybe later when he'd really committed himself to the idea of committing treason. Or after he'd found a way to live without sleeping at all.

Maybe after he'd gotten rid of the painful ache in his chest that was drawn towards that voice.

"...fuck off." He spat bitterly. He kept his face hidden from the world and remained still on the grass.

How pathetic he must look. Definitely worth getting a laugh at.

Definitely not worth loving.

The painful ache threatened to shatter him.

The sound of grass dying away as the man approached and crouched down at his side was entirely unwelcome.

"...Cale."

There was meaning in the way he said it. Emotion that Cale had only ever heard in his dreams.

How cruel could he get?

Wasn't it enough to mock him, invade his very thoughts, and seduce him? Did he have to pour salt into the wound?

"Eat a dick and fuck off." Cale said scathingly. His heart wasn't in it and he just wanted to run away but he couldn't find the strength. Despite all of his misery and heartbreak, he still longed for this. For him. For moments where it was just the pair of him. To hear him say his name just like that.

How cruel was love to force him to feel such things even now?

"We need to talk."

Cale laughed bitterly, tempted to fuck it all and attack the bastard right then and there. What the hell was there to talk about?

What could he possibly say to make this better?

"This can't continue."

Oh.

Ow.

Right.

Alberu wasn't here to make it better.

Had he been hoping that Alberu would come and soothe his heartbreak like he did in dreams? Kiss away all of his doubts and assure him that their love really was real?

He really thought he couldn't get more pathetic but he was wrong.

Cale felt nauseous.

Slowly and gingerly, he sat up. He didn't look at Alberu or answer him.

He really couldn't do this. Not now. Maybe not ever. His entire body felt so strangely out of focus but he moved it regardless, slowly making his way to his feet.

"...Cale?"

He let out a short scoff at the confusion in Alberu's voice. How predictable and stupid.

He knew a lot about Alberu Crossman. Even aside from the dreams. Of course he'd looked into the person he couldn't stop dreaming about, the alternate identity of a person he'd fallen so far in love with. He knew that Alberu had a bright and sunny disposition, only showing how sharp he could be when it was important to do so. He knew that Alberu didn't do very much to celebrate his birthday and spring was a hard time for him.

He knew that Alberu would make a great leader to the kingdom because he always put the correct priorities first.

Cale Henituse would never be a correct priority. Not unless he was replaced with someone completely different who actually had any intrinsic value.

"Yeah." Cale's voice sounded raw even to him. "You're right."

He didn't run. He couldn't get his feet to do that. All he could manage in his state was just one step in front of the other.

Because Alberu was the sort of person who had appropriate priorities, he made absolutely no attempt to stop him.

Cale could laugh until his throat was raw. He really was the butt of this joke and it was a really funny joke that just kept giving and giving.

How pathetic was it that even now, his love ardently longed for Alberu like the idiot he really was?