I was the whole ocean

that tamed myself to stay still, a puddle

Though my nature demands chaos and disaster

'Come closer, touch the water'

holding myself back

And yet you still hated that hurricane hidden inside of me

Maybe that's why you left

I couldn't be tamed and you knew

You searched for a peaceful lake without

realizing I was the sea

you embraced the water but not my storms

you freed me and caged me at the same time

by liking whatever you wanted to like

And ignoring the waves that made me who I was

Maybe that's why you left

you realized you only wanted a side of me

you talked of peace and valleys

About a part of me I've never met

it wasn't me

that wasn't me

Still, I emptied my body to keep me

small

and manageable

And when you left

trying to save your life

Who you said goodbye to was

the potential I couldn't live up to

It was the puddle you shaped but overflowed

the shape you craved for that kept deforming

the person that had to kill the ocean and

become the memory of what it used to be

And who am I now? Where am I now?

I've lost track, I must have forgotten

A shape I don't recognize

A person I can't recall

A memory that's way too blurry

Why couldn't you want me all?

Why couldn't you accept the waves?

Maybe that's why you left

Maybe you saw through everything I had

The storms and hurricanes

The shapeless and the untamed

maybe you did see all of that, after all

maybe you saw that behind the fuss

I had nothing

I was nothing

Nothing but a show off

Nothing but trouble you couldn't

be bothered with

Nothing but—

see through water