I want to show you how much I don't care

I want to show you how much you broke me but your punches were never enough to shatter me

Though they shattered me.

And I reached on broken glass,

and I cut myself on the way

and I cut anyone else who tried to help

and I gathered all the sharp pieces that had leaked the essence of who I was

The outline of a heart that used to be full is now an unfortunate mess, an inconvenience I keep though I know I should give up on

glued back together, hurriedly made, sloppy,

just enough to function

just enough to breathe

And don't you dare make fun of the way it's become or how it is scarred

for you know you are to blame

Whatever, who cares?

I want to show you you are nothing to me now!

Though you were.

Everything that I have ever wanted and was looking for, even if I wasn't really looking

You were what I had imagined and dreamed of

Since I was young

Before I was born

Before the universe

My life a puzzle I could never understand,

you made it make sense the moment I heard the sound of your voice. And I swear I was waiting for that melody this whole time.

Hoping to be born,

breathe the same air

until I find my way to you

Until I get to hear you speak

the name that I was given

I was waiting for everything to find their place,

for my mother to meet my father,

for your parents to fall in love,

for everything to slowly build

so I can meet you

You were destiny

Even though I want to show you that you're not.

I want to show you that I deserve better

That I deserve the love you starved me of

That I deserve to be cared for

I deserve to be looked at and to be told I am beautiful, even when I'm not

I deserve the sweet lies

I deserve everything and I don't deserve the fact that for days,

weeks,

months

You brainwashed me,

thinking that I am worth nothing

I did not deserve that

I think no one does.

I want to show you

that your existence is nothing to me now

But if that were true

This poem is as empty as my vessel for a heart

No character or purpose

No emotion that is justified to be spoken out

An empty piece of text

That reaches no one

That touches no one

And talks to no one

So, I guess you'll need to exist in my life

for just a little bit longer

If not forever...

Until this poem ends