I think about Scott most days, I mean how can I not? It only takes one look at my daughter and I see him, and I want to say that it doesn't hurt anymore, and I want to say that I've moved on from him leaving me.

But the truth is I can't, because every time I see a new story about him on the news, or in a magazine with some supermodel at a party or have to hear about his public break-ups and how he leaves a trail of broken hearts behind him.

It breaks my heart because when I look at his face on those magazines or I hear those kinds of bad stories about him. I know in my heart, despite how much he hurt me all those years ago, that the person he is now is not the Scott I knew and is definitely not the Scott that I fell in love with back then.

The Scott I knew was kind, loyal, caring, honest and he showed respect. But that's not the Scott I see now, I see a man who is selfish, arrogant, nasty, and treats people unfairly, the man I see now is just like his parents. And that breaks my heart even more and it's not the kind of person I want around my daughter.

I think that's why I've never really tried to tell him about Remi because if he can't even act like a grown-ass man, he's sure as hell isn't going to act like a father.

And it might sound unfair and maybe it's wrong what I've done, or what I am doing. Keeping Remi from knowing her father, and for not telling Scott that we have a child together. But I just want to protect her from all of it. The press, his family, his name.

And in a way maybe I'm selfish too because I don't want to share my daughter, I don't want to wake up on Saturday mornings only for her to not be there, because she's spending the weekend with her father. I don't want that it's something that I never wanted.

I always wanted my children to have a real family with two parents, something more than what I had. And when I think back to before I had Remi and how I thought it would be when I finally had a child.

I thought it would be different, I always thought that I would have kids with Scott, but I thought that he would be there with me through it all.

He would be happy, and we would pick out baby names, paint the nursery, I thought we would do it all together one day. Back then I never once thought that I would be a single mom and had to go through pregnancy by myself.

But life worked out that way, and I am a single mom but even on the hardest of days, I wouldn't change it. I do hope one day that Scott gets he's acted together and then maybe I will tell him about Remi and he might get a chance, at being her dad and at knowing her, because the little girl we created together is worth knowing, and Remi she makes my life better and one day she could make Scott's better too.

Pulling out of my thoughts and walked into my office building, I rent a small office space in a busy area of Los Angeles, and I have one person working for me.

This is Amber and she's my personal assistant also a friend, honestly, this business would not run the way that it does without Amber.

Because my business hasn't really been up and running for that long, I chose to not hire a lot of staff, for me, it made the most sense to do what I could myself and hire at least one other person with business experience to help with the day to day stuff if I was out at an event.

And eventually, as my business grows, I will hire more people one day, but for now I and Amber have it running smoothly.

"Your nine: Am is waiting in your office for you," Amber says as soon as she sees me, nodding my head as she hands me a cup of coffee. Throwing her grateful smile and headed off to my office with a tired sigh.

Today started as a good morning, but after breakfast, Remi didn't want to go to school and kicked up a fuss, which made me late and traffic was a nightmare.

Walking into my office and looked over to the people who were in there.

"Hello, you must be Amanda and Nora Michaels, I'm so sorry I am late" I apologized to them, the last thing I need is my business on the line and my professional image being questioned.

"No, it's fine we were early, I guess excitement took over," Nora says to me, nodding my head with a smile and waved for them to take a seat.

"So, it says in my notes that the event would be an engagement party, is that correct?" I asked them. Thinking back to the information Amber took from them when they booked the appointment.

What I know is that Nora is Amanda's mother and Amanda has recently gotten engaged but, in my notes, it doesn't say to who, or what day they want for the event, I think Amber must have forgotten to get that information. But it's fine, I can just get the smaller details later.

"Yes, it is," Amanda says with an exciting smile on her face, the sparkle of happiness in her eyes. I love planning events for couples if it's an engagement party or an anniversary party, even if I do draw a line at weddings.

But that said it's absolutely amazing to see all that love and joy inside of a couple's relationship. It sorts of makes you want it a little, I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy being single and with it just being me and Remi.

But you do miss those small moments of being in love, the warmth of someone's arms around you at night. How was your day? Conversation, I guess sometimes you forget just how lonely you really are.

"Okay normally when planning a party for a couple, I tend to get to know them and learn a few facts about them, how they met, how they are as a couple-" I broke off and looked over at my calendar, which was located on this month which is early-July.

"What date were you looking at?" I asked, Amanda looks at me lost in thought before turning her eyes back to me.

"For the 8th of November," She says to me, looking over at the calendar.

"Okay, it is a little shorter notice than normal, seeing as we're talking only a few months away. But if we get to work fast, we should be able to pull it off in no time" I say, it may seem like lots of time to some people.

But with other events and other clients that I have, it's a tight squeeze for me. That said the Michaels family are very well known and this could really put my business out there.

"Yeah sorry about that, but you're the best in the event planning business. And the 8th is sort of our anniversary, which is why picked that date" She says,

"So, to start I would really like to meet with you and your husband to be. And just get a vibe of what you both are looking for in the terms of food, color scheme, a location that sort of stuff if that's okay?" I said to Amanda.

"Yeah that's perfectly fine, Oliver is free tomorrow morning if that works for you" She replied to me, nodding my head at her.

"Tomorrow at eleven works for me, we can all meet here or if easier I can come to you both," I say, sometimes it is easier for me to go to clients.

"Don't be silly we will come to you, but I'm pretty sure at some point, my future mother-in-law will invite herself along, so I apologize in advance for that" Amanda said with a hint of annoyance in her voice, well most brides don't like their mother in laws anyways.

"I'm sure she's lovely" I responded with a smile; they both look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah well you won't be saying that when you meet her, that I can say for sure"

Letting out a small snort of laugher, just as they both do the same.

"Anyways, in that case, I will see you tomorrow. And you have my number if you have any questions at all" I announced and stood up with a smile.

"It was nice meeting you, Miss. Snow" Nora Michaels says to me also with a smile.

"Please call me Ella, and it was nice meeting you both as well" I replied softly back. They both nodded and smiled before making their way out of my office.

Sitting back down at my desk, a sorter deadline than a year is a harder job it means early mornings and late nights.

Which I hate because it means I spend less time with Remi and I know that she understands that mommy has to work, but she's four and a half, she shouldn't have to go to bed without getting a bedtime story from me, or she shouldn't have to wake up to find me already gone, without telling her good morning, I'm just lucky I have my mom to help me with Remi.

But on the other hand, this is also my job, something I worked hard to build, and it is only a few jobs and then after that my forces will be on spending more time with my daughter, I mean it's a simple easy engagement party I've done plenty of these, it should be a walk in the park.

I think about Ella a lot. I can't help it and I can't help but miss her, and what we once had. Over the years I thought about tracking her down, telling her that I made one massive mistake and that she's the only woman I've ever loved.

But every time something stops me, and I talk myself out of it. I mean come on, why would she want to see me after all of these years?

I broke her heart, I walked out on her basically without explaining why, and the truth is I walked away from her because someone who could make my life's dream of playing football come true, told me too.

After that, I pretty much cut her off completely, and there's no doubt in my mind that she's seen the stories about me over the years. Because she probably has, and she probably hates me even more, than she did all those years ago.

I've heard that she's happy and I hope that is the truth and she is happy. And that maybe she has someone who loves her with everything he has. After I left, all I ever wanted was for her to find happiness without me.

And I guess that's another reason why I never tracked her down because I know that my heart will still belong to her. Like it has for the last four and half years, and I also know that she could never be with me again, not after the way I hurt her back then.

"What are you thinking about there, son?" I heard my mother asks me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

Looking over towards my parents and brother. After Ollie's announcement this morning we all made our way to our parents' house for lunch, on my mother's demand might I add.

To be honest, the last thing I wanted to do today was to drive an hour to San Diego to spend the afternoon with my mother, I love her, and I always will because she is my mom but sometimes, she is the most frustrating person to be around.

My dad, on the other hand, is a lot kinder than my mother, and a lot like me and Oliver he too gets with the way she acts because she acts like she's royalty. but at the end of the day, she married into Vaughan's family business and money, which sometimes I think she forgets just that.

Half the time over the years I've looked at my dad and I saw how miserable he actually is around my mom.

Personally, in my own observation, I think he fell out of love with her a long time ago. But he stuck around for me and Oliver, so our family could stay as a family.

We're all grown-up now, so I can't help but wonder if maybe he would be happy if he divorced her.

Like I said I love her I really do, but she's one of those people who never see just how mean and cold-hearted they can be are until it's too late.

I wish that she would just see the pain and misery she is causing to everyone around her, and I hope that she might change one day.

Shaking away any lingering thoughts and replied, "Nothing".

I don't want to admit to her that I was thinking about Ella, because she would just bring up our past and insult her as much as she possibly could, without blinking an eyelash.

My mother never liked Ella, which I could never understand because Ella was sweet and loveable, and never had a bad word to say about anyone, including my mother, and there was plenty of time Ella could have said things about her, yet she never did because that's what type of person she was.

But it didn't matter how nice Ella was, in my mother's eyes she wasn't good enough for me, because she didn't come from money, my father, on the other hand, I think he actually liked Ella in his own way, I mean he never said a bad word about her, but he never defended her either.

Ollie, he did though, he always stuck up for Ella along with me.

"So, Oliver how are the party plans going?" Mom asked my brother; he looks over at our mother.

"Amanda and her mother actually met with the event planner this morning, and we're all set for the 8th. We're meeting her tomorrow in LA to start the plans" he said, something tells me my mother will have a lot of inputs for this party.

"Wonderful what time? I'll clear my calendar and come with you both" Mom says, Ollie looks at me for a moment and then looks back to her and sighs.

"Tomorrow just has to be me and Amanda. The event planner just wants to get to know us first. But after that, you can tag along as much as you want" He replied with a firm voice.

mom looks at him for a moment clearly annoyed that she can't tag along with her judgemental comments to input, but after a second or two, she finally admits defeat and nods her head.

"Fine tomorrow I will leave you alone, but after that, I make no promises. I want to be a part of this as much as I can, my oldest son is getting married".

Taking this moment to get lost back into my own thoughts, I always thought one day that I would marry Ella.

And that we would live this perfect life together, we would be happy and in love, maybe have a few kids along the way.

It's funny really how things don't work out the way you thought, I know that I have no right to feel sorry for myself because I was the one who picked football over my love for her.

I've lived every single day regretting that choice, I love being a pro football player and being part of a team, but I loved Ella more.

And I was just too young and stupid to admit it back then, more stupid for not fighting for her and us.

Now I will never have a second chance to make it right because the chances of ever crossing paths with Ella Snow again and is near enough impossible.