《The lonely wolf [bxb]》Leaving
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(Ryker)
After parting ways with Elias, I made my way to my brother's room in hopes of talking to him about this mess we had both landed ourselves in. I know that he probably had a lot of questions so I'm hoping to try and answer them as best as I could for him. Talking to Elias earlier, somehow brought on a new realization that I would have to try harder to win him over. I know that I fucked up our chance of ever having a relationship in the beginning when I wanted to kill him, when I sent him back to the forest to die.
i am still confused about my sexuality, the bond between Elias, and I was stronger now, and it was making it hard for me to keep to myself. I was blaming the bond for making me follow him around like a lovesick puppy who could not be away from its master for too long. My parents were still pushing me, hoping to have Elias as our Luna/alpha but I wasn't sure if I like it or not. I knocked on my brother's door after announcing my presence and he told me to come in which I did.
" everything ok?" I asked and he shook his head. He was sitting on the bed with his down, my heart breaking from the sight of seeing him so defeated.
" how the fuck am I suppose to do this? because of our bond I was also rejected by him even if Elias did not mean it. Now I have no mate, I am not even sure if I have a second chance mate out there." I nodded my head as I listened to my brother, noticing how broken he was because of this. It was my fault, my twin was in pain and I did not know how to help him.
" you need to find something to do in order to get your mind off things, find a distraction of sort. We were both supposed to be alphas because of our genes so why not take up that position?" I asked as a suggestion, something he could think over. He peeks up at me as his eyes showed their remaining tears that he was trying desperately to get rid of.
" you know I'm the immature one here, I'm not really ready for that type of responsibility. I won't be able to function properly, watching you with Elias and knowing he was supposed to be my mate as well. That's why I'm leaving." My mouth fell open as I looked at my brother, i was left in shock because I couldn't believe what he had said.
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" leaving? You belong here Ryland so you can't just run because something didn't go your way." He growled as he got up off the bed, pacing as anger radiated off him in waves.
" because something didn't go my way? Fuck your beliefs ryker. I know you didn't want a mate but shit, the moon goddess herself made sure you got one as what a punishment? And I'm left to mend my broken heart. A mate is not something you joke about, you saw how much pain I was in from a mere rejection that wasn't meant for me. I have to leave so that I can search for my second chance mate because I won't sit back and act like everything is fucking alright." He shook his head while pulling at his hair, making him look so vulnerable. I hated seeing him like this, he was always smiling and now he's on the verge of breaking.
" you always run when things get too much for you, then show your face when you feel it's best to. You once said that you wanted us to talk, to go back to the way we once were. is this the way you are planning on leaving things between us? You fucking run and expect me to just be ok with it?" I asked feeling my temper rising.
" it is what it is. I have to do this for me, not for you but for me. You should focus more on Elias since the both of you have accepted each other. His warlock side is dormant, try and help him find his way or his soul will only wander again. You don't want to lose him in the end." The way he said that seems as if he knew something, like this was foreshadowing at some point.
" what do you mean?" I asked and he shrugged his shoulders.
" you heard Samuel, Elias has a tendency to wander, he may seem happy on the outside but I bet on the inside he's miserable. From what miles told me when he first met Elias was that he thanked damian because he thought that he was going to die. Maybe that's something that he really wants ryker so use your brain and help him find the peace he so desperately needs." Ryland sounded wise as he spoke, i felt heartbroken knowing that we had grown apart because of my foolish ways. Because I couldn't do anything without my temper getting involved, fear was something I thrived on before and now I was only left confused because I wasn't feeling the same.
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" and how do I help him or accept the fact that my mate is a male? Last time I checked I wasn't gay, given the fact that I've been convincing myself over and over that I wasn't in the closet or in denial." That earned a laugh from Ryland. The place wasn't as tensed as it was before which I'm happy about.
" I won't be gone for too long ryker, if I don't find my second chance mate within a year I'll be back. Please don't give up on me." I pulled him towards me for a hug, a hug that I didn't know how much I longed for. It's been years since I've hugged him, I just couldn't allow myself to act soft in front of anyone.
" I'll be waiting baby brother, you return home to me in one piece you get that?" I said and he nodded his head while chuckling. He pulled away as he shoves me playfully.
" I'm only five minutes younger than you, you doofus." He replies as he rolls his eyes.
" and that makes you the baby so learn to live with it." I shot back laughing along with him. This felt good, maybe a change is what I needed in order to feel... complete. This time, I hope that everything will work out for him because ryland deserves the world and more.
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(Ryland's pov)
I know that my brother wanted me here, that my parents would be worried if I was to leave again but I couldn't stay. Having a taste of what it would be like to have a mate has given me a newfound purpose in life. It opened my eyes to a lot of things which included finding my second chance mate. I knew I was going into this without any knowledge of that ever happening, but I had to try.
I've been searching for my mate for so long, not being as lucky as I thought. I would really miss my family, especially my brother the most. Seeing him smiling for the first time in a long time had left me feeling contented. Ryker had always been one to get angry at the smallest of things, he enjoyed killing rogues and getting everyone to follow his every command. It was nice to see a change in him. When he left I started packing my clothes and other important items I would take with me.
I planned on traveling to Canada first to start my search in a pack that had welcomed me. i just hope that everything works out for me, fingers crossed. The day came and went and now it was morning, time for me to leave. everyone were here bidding for me farewell which was a bit overwhelming. My parents came up to me, noticing my mother crying didn't sit well with me, but it had to be done. I had to leave for my sanity.
" remember to call if you need anything, you wont be able to mind link given the distance you would be away from the pack, so use that damn phone often you hear me?" mom said as she broke down in tears before hugging me.
" I promise mom I will call, if anything happens I'll be back before you know it." I replied and she nodded her head as she pulls away from me. Patting my shoulder while wiping away the never ending tears.
" you'll be ok son, you'll be ok." I nodded my head as she made way for dad to bid his goodbye.
" I know you aren't feeling a hundred percent better so I want you to rest as much as you can. Don't exhaust yourself too much and if you by any chance find your second chance mate, come back home to us ok? We will be waiting for you." dad hugs me before he walks away so he can comfort mom and Ryker walks up to me. He sighed as he places his had on my cheek, a sign of comfort he was giving me.
" come back to us, that's all I beg of you. Come back to us whenever you're ready." ryker turns and leave before I could say anything. I looked over at Elias who looks away with tears in his eyes. Raina asked me if I was ready and I said yes, she was going to teleport me there which would be quicker. I left after saying goodbye to my pack. I just hope that I don't have to search for too long and the moon goddess bless's me with someone I can call my own.
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