It's been a week of constant crying and pain. I couldn't make it to school for a week because every time I moved an inch something yelped out in pain.

My dad had been drinking all weekend and when he has alcohol in his system it's ten times worse than usual. Every punch has double force, every kick leaves a deep bruise and every scar was me being thrown into something or something thrown at me. I'm sure I've got a few bald spots from the hair-pulling and swinging.

It's not his fault, I know he misses his daughter and I hadn't been to get the groceries again, he asked in the morning but I had been working all day and forgotten- that was on me.

I just keep hearing his shouts and my chortled screams.

I've spent the last week staring at the ceiling, wishing to be anywhere else at all, I even tortured myself more by looking at old dance shoes and pictures.

I'm even sat on the studio floor right now, I didn't want to brave the cafeteria, I just want to be alone. I love having friends but I don't want to put a dampener on their mood, they already know somethings up from the classes we've had today, it's my first day back and I'm distant- so distant.

I look in the mirror, running my hands across the floor, I've used layers and layers of makeup to try and hide the retched marks on my face and neck but looking at myself I can see how tired and drained my face looks.

My eyes dart to the barre and I mentally curse myself.

Just get up and dance!

You're the only one stopping yourself.

Let go, you can do it.

What happened shouldn't affect your talent.

I can hear my mommas voice in the back of my head, if she were here she'd be forcing me up and making me dance.

God momma I miss you, I need you. Where ever you are please help me. I don't want to live like this anymore. It hurts momma, it hurts!

Silent tears slip down my face as I bring my cheeks into my knees, how much longer can I do this?

"What are you hiding Blondie?" The husky voice at the door scares the life out of me, I look in the mirror to find Blaze hovering at the back of the studio.

"What do you mean?" I mumble wiping my face, being careful not to smudge any cover-up make up. I'm still kind of upset with Blaze, he scared me slightly in the library. I just wanted to help.

"Last week, I went to your house."

OH, CRAP.

Blaze struts across the hall and places himself down on the floor beside me, he sucks on his lower lip but I refuse to meet his eyes, ' But when I knocked on 'your door' a woman told me Atlas had never lived there, nor next door nor anywhere in the entire street actually. So what are you hiding Grove."

"Why were you at my house?" I turn my head to the side, still resting on my knees.

He grows slightly uncomfortable and looks off away from me.

"I was dropping you some work..." He shrugs nonchalantly but then his eyebrows crease, "and I wanted to apologise... for the way I acted in the library." He runs a hand through his jet black hair. I stare at him, slightly stunned... this is unexpected, I didn't think Blaze was the 'apologise' kind of guy.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. I didn't mean to push-"

"You weren't. You were just being a responsible, reasonable partner. As stupid as the project is- you were right I've got to do it." He sighs playing with the rings on his fingers, a few of the silver bands clad his thumbs and middle fingers but chunkier ones sit layered on the other fingers.

We sit in a comfortable silence until he picks something out of his pocket, "Here. To talk about the project..." Then looks directly into my eyes, "or anything else." He hands me a piece of paper with a cell phone number scribbled down on it, "But I'm going to find out what you're hiding..." He gives me a side glance, I'm sure there's some humour behind it because if he did find out... I don't think he'd look at me the same way.

"Maybe you went to the wrong house."

"There's no Atlas in that street Blondie. Don't treat me as if I'm stupid." He gets up off the floor and I feel my cheeks blush.

"You're not stupid, I just- well I just-"

"Are you not dancing?" He turns back to me, cutting off my rambles by holding a hand down to help me up, I take his big hand and let him pull me up. Ignoring the pain in my ribs I focus on the fire that surrounds my skin in the areas he's touching. His eyes, calm like an ocean bear down past my drowsy lashes, they're gorgeous but I can see the emptiness.

He lets out a slight cough and lets go of my hand, shit, well done Atlas- do you want to stare anymore!

"What?" I muster, did he ask something?

"Dancing. Are you not dancing today?" He points to the barre and goes back to leaning against the wall by his shoulder, a stance that he does often to assert his dominance over the room, unintentionally or not- it's hot.

"I told you, I don't dance." I grab my bag off the floor throwing it onto my shoulder, being careful not to wince when it hits a gash on my skin.

"Sounds like some high school musical shit." He says walking out of the door leaving me alone again.

You know, it's kind of annoying the way he does that.

But hot.

Oh god, stop it Atlas. Not important.

Wait hold up, how did he know that was in High School Musical?

"Hey! We've been looking for you all day!" Carrie comes running up to my locker, Vixxie, Brady and Blaze trailing behind.

"I feel like you've been avoiding us bitch!" Vixxie pouts.

"No, I've just been trying to catch up with the work from last week." I lie, I have been avoiding them and I do feel bad but that's what I do, keep myself to myself and push away people who try and get close.

"Did you not get the work I told Blaze to drop round." I look up at Blaze, he's got his hands in his pocket.

"Yeah I did I was just really sick so I didn't get to do it," I say biting on my lip. I wonder if he's told them about my compulsive lying. His eyebrows are raised and I send him a small smile to tell him I appreciate the fact he's kept my secret.

Vixxie and Carrie move in closer to me, secluding us from the guys who have started talking to some others in the hallway, their eyes wide and grins big.

"You never told us Blaze gave you a ride home," Vixxie whispers cheekily.

"Because it wasn't important." I giggle back watching her roll her eyes.

Blaze must have been questioned when he offered to take work to my... house. It really wasn't important, he just gave me a ride and drove off before I could even say thanks.

"Oh shut up! That kind of thing is so important," She wiggles her brows at me, 'And as your best friends we need to know this shit!"

I shake my head with a laugh, although it really was nothing, I haven't really experienced this kind of thing before, the friend thing. Even when I was with my birth mom back in Illinois at dance school I never really had those kind of friends, I was often an outcast. Figuring i'm not going to eleborate VJ huffs, "Alright, well come on then let's go," She shuts my locker and starts to pull me away.

"Actually I can't make it to practice," Because I've got unexplained cuts and bruises idling my body and there's nothing worse than flying with a cracked rib- at least that's what it feels like. "I've got a doctors appointment, it's the only one my mom could get. I'm sorry!"

Carrie pouts, "No worries, just get better okay! We'll text you later." She says as her and Vixxie walk back down the hall towards the gym.

"See you later Big A." Brady follows.

"Blondie." Blaze nods, lingering a little longer than the rest.

I walk home a little slower than usual taking time to reflect on the past week. I need to make it through the year, I need to make it through the year.

But it's so hard. Every single time he hurts me, my hope dims a little. I keep telling myself, just stick to my plan.

Work hard. Get the scholarship. Go to college- far away.

Jesus, I don't even know what I want to study yet!

I always wanted to be a dancer but when I stopped I couldnt face the idea of doing anything else, i'm stuck in a limbo.

And cheerleading or making friends wasn't part of my plan.

It's only a month into school and I already have no idea what direction my life is going in.

Flopping onto my bed I pick up the book on my bedside table and open it at the bookmarked page. Much like music I can spend hours just getting lost in different worlds of romance.

I'm reading through the Great Gatsby again trying to get ahead in English but now the once romanticised novel is throwing all kinds of curveballs at me, like Blaze's opinions. I'm trying to look at it from his point of view.

Suddenly my phone buzzes on the bedside table, I roll over to unlock it, opening it to a group chat containing Carrie and Vixxie.

I bite my lip, I'm working the morning shift at the diner but I should really come home after, I don't want my dad getting mad again.

Carrie texts back, I roll my eyes, it happened weeks ago and it was just a lift, Jesus.

I reply I can just tell my dad I'm working a double again...

Carrie texts back.

I send back a thumbs-up emoji and open my messages with B.

We?

😂

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