Its been a week since that weekend and me and ethan have barely talked. I dont know what happened. I dont know what I did but he's barely talking to me.

"so he just doesn't even talk to you?" andrea asks.

"nope" i say driving away and when i do we pass ethan and this girl talking at his car. They seem very friendly. She's laughing. Hes smiling. there having a good time.

"just ignore it, Ill talk to him" andrea says and I just continue to drive.

I feel used. Betrayed. I thought we had something. I thought it was going somewhere but i guess i was wrong.

________________________________

"football game is tonight, your coming with me right?" andrea asks me while were chilling up in my room.

"yeah ill go" i say scrolling through my phone.

"well if your gonna go we gotta get ready now cuz its almost time" she says.

"okay" i say getting up to change.

"allison" she says walking over to me.

"hm" i say looking at her.

"get out of the funk. Maybe it was just a miss kinda thing. maybe she came up to him" She says. I take a breathe out.

"maybe" i say.

"here put this on" and she throws me some shorts and a crop top.

"andrea this is to much" i say looking at myself in the mirror.

"your going to a football game no its not" she says changing.

"its to revealing" i say looking at her.

"allison you have a smoking hot body, show it off. Show people what there missing out on" she says.

"your killing me" i say giggling.

"just helping you out" she says giggling.

________________________________

Ethans on the team. Yeah, he plays football. Jack also plays football so thats why andrea goes.

"you ready" she says getting out of the car.

"yupp" i say following her.

Half time*

it was half time and the football players go back to thelocker room until its time for them to go back and play.

Me and andrea were talking and then talking with other people and then they come back out.

They play the rest of the game and we go on to the feild. Its what we always do. Its what everyone would do.

After the game people always go out to the feild to see there favorites. To bad me and ethan aren't talking right now or id go up to him.

Me and andrea walk up to jack and they talk. I see ethan, grayson and then there parents talking to them. There all laughing and having a good time. I smile to myself. Seeing them so happy.

Then this girl walks over. First she hugs lisa and then hugs ethan. Lisa and sean walk away. She grabs ethans hand and there smiling. My smile immediately drops. Tears form in my eyes as he kisses her.

What did I do wrong. Ethan looks over and sees me and his face goes to a blank face. I look away and clear my throat.

"hey im um- im not feeling so good so im just gonna go home. jack can you take her home?" I ask.

"awhh everything okay?" andrea asks.

"yeah no problem" jack says.

"yeah just feeling a bit sit. Ill text you. Thanks jack" I say giving them light smiles before walking away.

I walk away. As Fast as i can without trying to make a scene. tears are coming down my face as im trying to wipe them off.

I grab my keys and unlock my car door.

"allison wait!" someone yells. I turn around and see ethan running up.

I open the door.

"allison please. stop." he says stopping the car door.

"allison" he says and i wipe my tears before turning around. I clear my throat.

"yeah?" i say giving a light smile.

"whats wrong" he asks.

"what? nothings wrong" i say fake laughing.

"allison come on" he says. A tear goes down my face.

"It's nothing ethan" I say looking at him.

"but it is something because theres tears coming down your face" he says grabbing the sides of my face and wiping my tears.

"whats wrong" he says gently. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as he still has his hands on my face.

"this. this is whats wrong. you and everything that's happened" i say. Hes shocked by what i said and takes his hands away slowly.

"w-what" he says confused.

"you dont get it ethan. You just dont" i say shaking my head and opening the door.

"then explain to me allison. explain to me what i dont get" he says getting mad.

"Im still in love with you!" i yell. He goes quiet.

"ive been in love with you since the day ive met you ethan. From the day we first spoke to eachother. Ive always been in love with you. From the day we split. to the day we talked after a year. to the day we stopped because we couldn't get back together. to the day I started dating jackson and now to here. To this day" I say wiping my tears.

"you dont understand the affect you have on me. How badly im affected by you. By your personality. by your words. by you actions. You dont get the love i have for you. The love ive always had for you" i say with more tears coming down my face. Hes still silent. Its like he cant say anything.

"It k-" i stop because of the crying.

"it kills me knowing that i may never. get to love you like i did before. That i may never be with you again. or have that chance to be yours. It kills me knowing that you may not feel the same way i do. That you dont have the amount of love i do for you as you do for me." i say wiping my tears.

"I know i broke your heart. I know ive hurt you and you have no idea how sorry i am for that. How much i wanna repay you for the heartache ive given you. But you know youve given it to me to"

"with that girl tonight? the girl yesterday. To the breakups weve had. I thought we had something again ethan. I thought." i start crying again.

"I thought it was gonna work out. That we were getting back. That everything was going how it's supposed to be. How things are supposed to happen. I thought now that the distractions are out of the way we can now get to the real thing. Our happiness."

"but please. please tell me if this isnt what you want. please tell me if im waisting my time. because if i am-"

"if i am. I need to move on. move on with everything" My voice cracks.

"no more games, no more playing around. I love you. I always will and always have. I want to be with you but if you dont feel the same then let me know because i cant keep doing this. I cant keep hurting." i say sniffing.

"thats whats wrong" i say getting in the car and looking at him.

"allison I-"

I Close my eyes and when i open them back up tears fall.

"goodbye E" i say closing my door. He stands there. not saying a word. looks lifeless.

I buckel up and drive away. It starts raining pretty hard. Tears fall and fall. knowing not only did i might've lost the love of my life. but ive also lost my bestfriend.

The wipers are going and going. As the hard rain crashes onto the car. Thoughts running through my head. Memories flooding back. Good and bad.

Things I wish i did differently. Maybe things would be different if different things happened.

Like schools. What if i didnt go to a different highschool. What if we went to the same.

What if we never broke up over the summer.

What if we had gotten together when we couldnt.

what if that girl had never been around him.

but then again i think.

what if we never met.

what if we never dated

what if he never asked me out.

what if we never become anything.

what if all those things happened. How would life be right now. How different would it be. How good or bad would it be. what other things would be different.

My phone kept buzzing and i look down and it was ethan. 5 missed calls and 20 text messages.

I finally got home and just sat in the driveway. Hearing the rain get harder and harder. The cold air blowing and the low sound of country radio. My phone buzzing over and over again.

I look down and its ethan. I know if i dont answer this, he'll never stop calling.

I take a deep breath in and then answer it.

"hello"