-From your POV-

I laid back in the seat and closed my eyes. I wasn't as buzzed as everyone thought I was; just happy but tired. I was talking to J while he was driving. "It's our turn. We're going home, doll." he says in a calming tone. I was so tired that I could feel myself struggling to stay awake. I felt something cold on my thigh and I barely cracked open my eyes to see his hand. He was holding on so tight that it seemed more of an impulse than it did a legitimate advance. I didn't say anything. Just closed my eyes and let him keep his hand there.

We pull into the mansion at some point and I'm half awake. I was about to pull myself out of the car when I hear my side door open and then feel someone reach over me and unclick my seat belt and then scoop under my knees and behind my back, scooping me up. Without even opening my eyes, I can tell by the cologne and the quiet clinking of chains that it's J. I just let my head fall back on his chest and hum to myself.

I feel him lay me down gently on my bed and I gently flicker my eyes open and see him about to leave. I yank his arm, catching him by surprise and causing him to stumble back. I scoot over on my bed and pat a spot for him. "Mhmmmm." I hum, my hand still pulling him in my direction.

"Doll, I'm going to bed." he says in a serious tone.

"You never specified which bed." I say with a giggle. He lets out a sigh as I keep tugging at him, eventually rolling his eyes and sitting down on the bed next to me. "Geez I don't bite, do I?" I say to him, barely keeping my eyes open. He hesitates again before taking his overcoat on and dropping it on the floor. He swings his legs over the bed, now sitting up straight with his back against the headboard and his legs resting out straight. I can tell I'm going to fall asleep within minutes, so I force myself up to my bathroom to change into something else. I dig some random cotton t-shirt on and sleep cotton shorts and make my way back to my bed. He was sitting there, arms folded, watching me. I crawl in on my side, slipping under the covers. I sit up straight, similar to how he is and look at him.

"Okay serious Sally." I say. He turns his head towards me so we are now facing each other.

"Y/n I'm going to leave now." he says in a serious tone. I frown.

"Y/n. I'm not even doll anymore?? Geez all my boyfriends are ghosting me tonight. Fine, let me be all alone... lonely and sad." I say.

"You're not lonely, you literally live in a mansion full of people." he insists.

"And I know how many of them? Mhm. Lonely." I continue on.

"If you feel that way, tell me what I can do to fix it." he says with a very slight chuckle. I have no idea what threw his mood off tonight, but I didn't like it. Once again, I was supposed to be the somber one and him the cheerful-asshole. He starts again "I have all the money and power in the city, whatever you want... doll..." we were still facing each other and it was what it was. I leaned over and kissed his lips, then lightly put my hand on his shoulder to stabilize myself. For a moment, I can tell he hesitates, as he barely kisses me back, but then he gives in and slides a hand up my shoulder blade to hold me close to him. The kiss automatically sobers me up and makes me more alert. Our lips lightly work in unison together and the next thing I know, our tongues are gliding over each other with ease. I feel his breathing tense and his grip on my back tighten, keeping me still. The kiss continues on, gradually intensifying, for a few more minutes before he breaks it. "Y/n, no." he says in a soft, almost upset tone. "We can't." he says.

"Yes we can. You're the one always saying I'm going to give in one day." I point out.

"No, you're not in the right head space. You've been drinking and you're beyond tired." he says as he pulls his hand from my back and pulls away enough to make my hand slide off his shoulder.

"I had a one and a half neat whiskeys over the span of 2 hours. I'm insulted that you think my tolerance is that low. And as for being tired, I'm wide awake now." I clap back. He shakes his head.

"No. Still." he says, finding his jacket from the floor and tugging it on. "Y/n, we're bad for each other." He says as he turns back to us, our faces now close together again. "Both of us know that. We can't.... be, together, in any way, but especially not this." he says before standing up and sliding his jacket on the rest of the way. I slouch down in my bed under the covers and watch him walk out of my room. As he stands in the doorway about to leave, he lightly tilts his head over his shoulder. "Goodnight, Y/n." he says as he quietly shuts the door behind him, leaving me in the big and dark empty room. I sink down in the covers some more, letting them consume me.

No no no no no no no no no.

No.

This cannot be happening. No.

I don't feel sad, upset, maybe? Disappointed? Let down? I have no idea. But it's not right. I shouldn't be this caught up. This was my game, remember?? I shouldn't have. I slide my hand up to my forehead and shake my head. "God Y/n, why can't you take anything serious when you need to?" .