I was in much less pain today which is surprising because Monday's are the worst. Peter was MIA and probably at one of the local bars where he'd been spending most of his time. I was working on my school work when someone knocked on the door.

I pull my glasses up the bridge of my nose and walk over where I put my eye through the peephole. I couldn't see much because their torso was blocking my sight. They knock again but I step back knowing this could be a murderer. I was not about to open the door for some stranger.

"Who the hell are you?" A voice curses from the other side and I distinctly recognize it as Peters.

"Sorry I'm Zach is Alex home?"

My eyes widen as I stare at my current appearance I had braids in my hair but they were very disheveled and I was wearing a large t shirt that had a huge stain of ketchup on it. I didn't want him to see me like this and before I can make my escape Peter opens the door and their eyes look at me.

"Zach what are you doing here?" I said glaring at Peter who was still standing on the porch beside him.

"I just wanted to check up on you, you haven't been answering my texts." He says rubbing the back of his neck. I know he thinks I've been avoiding him which isn't far from it and now I feel bad because he's come all this way to see if I was okay.

"My mother actually took my phone away." I said trying my best to think of and excuse.

"Stop lying Alex." Peter shouts from the kitchen. I don't even turn to look at Peter because I know he just wants to make me miserable.

"Is that your dad?" Zach asks me looking over my head.

"No he's not." I strictly say. "I'm sorry this just isn't a great time."

Zach gives me a sympathetic smile. "It's okay I'm just glad I got to see you."

"Really?" I sound like I'm desperate.

He nods. "Yeah every time I want be alone with you, you always seem to disappear with Gavin."

"Gavin is a very long story he's my neighbor so he's usually my ride home-" I stop my rambling and mentally slap myself in the face before Peter can.

"Be careful with him, okay? Girls get hurt by guys like him and I don't want that happening to you." His message is sincere and I know it's true. I put it in the back of my mind when suddenly Zach leans down a puts a kiss to my cheek.

It doesn't feel like it does when Gavin does it and I hate myself for comparing the two. Gavin only kisses me for his own enjoyment and Zach kisses me for mine. I never wanted this to happen especially now when I'm at the peak of my leukemia and I could lose everything I have ever cared about, that included them.

"You're freezing." Zach tells me touching my cheek with his knuckles. I almost shiver at his touch because I was freezing and it wasn't from the dropping temperatures outside.

"I should go back inside." I tell him turning my heel I push open the door and wave one last time before I close it.

How do you tell someone your dying?

You don't.

There was a football game tonight Peyton mentioned it to me and I don't let myself be bothered by the fact that I can't go outside again. I wanted to be there for Ash since these are the last few games before the season ends, but I couldn't.

"Peter we're leaving for Alex's appointment." My mother calls for him but he could careless. I don't even know why he's still here.

I follow my mom into the car and look over to see the empty driveway at Gavin's house. It's strange to know everyone else's normal was to go to football games and my normal was checking in with my doctors every week.

"Are you alright?" She asks on the way.

I look over at her and nod my head. "I'm fine I'm just kinda tired."

"Peter told me a boy came to visit earlier."

I sink further in my seat because I didn't want to speak about that. "Yeah, it wasn't a big deal."

"Well boys don't come see you often." She laughs at her words but all I do is feel more of a loser at that. "What I mean is, you've been enjoying these past few weeks with Gavin and you've met new people."

"Okay?" I said annoyed.

"Although Gavin is a bit of a troublemaker I do like seeing the both of you enjoy hanging out with each other." She smiles at me. "You became friends."

I furrow my eyebrows together. "We were practically forced to hang out mom."

She rolls her eyes at me. "And look, do you like him?"

I throw my hands up in the air. "No. Now can we not talk about this anymore?"

I didn't want to talk about my feelings because I didn't want to think about what I was feeling.

My mother stops with her bantering and parks the car where we both get down and wait in the lobby for my name to be called.

I found Clarity at the vending machines once again and this time she looked different. I didn't want to stare so much because I knew how uncomfortable that could make someone feel. She gives me a huge grin as she stuffs her mouth with Chex mix.

"Hey." I say. "I haven't seen you around."

"I just got out of surgery last week I had another bone marrow transplant." She tells me and it doesn't seem to bother her, talking about that kind of stuff.

Clarity had leukemia like me but was on her third stage of cancer. That stage is the most aggressive I didn't want to imagine it. I had only reached stage two of my diagnoses a couple weeks ago which wasn't as aggressive but more aggressive than stage one. Stage two causes more noticeable symptoms and rejects a lot of medication in the process which is starting to happen with me, it leads to stage three.

At stage three you sometimes need blood transplants for other transplants like removing tumors if your blood isn't healthy enough.

"It's been a rough couple of days." She adds her noticeable expression changes into a worried one. "They keep saying I'm going to be fine and then I get more phone calls that my bodies rejecting the transplants."

I want to hug her but I know it would probably hurt her so I don't. "What are they gonna do now?"

She shrugs. "I don't know, I don't think they can do anything else."

"What? There has to be something I mean can't they find another donor?" My tone sounds more angrier now because I'm getting frustrated.

"There's no point Alex there are more people out there that need that donor more than I do." I see her eyes shift and she stares back at the lit up vending machine. "Everything happens for a reason right?"

"Alex Eastwood." I look at the same lady in her bright pink scrubs who always calls for my name.

"Clarity." It comes out like a whisper.

Clarity turns back to look at me and then she pulls me in for a hug. It hurts the both of us but I think it hurts a lot less after a few seconds that pass because we both needed it.

"You'll kick cancers ass a lot better than I did." She laughs and pulls away. "I'll see you later?"

I nod my head.

"Alex Eastwood."

I roll my eyes and make my way to the front. I could feel a pain growing in my throat as I walked away, Clarity made this experience a whole lot worse. In the beginning I'd grit my teeth every time I sat alone with my mother in the lobby. I'd watch everyone else arrive and then some days you wouldn't see those people around anymore.

You think to yourself maybe they got better or worse.

Then I met Clarity and we'd sit for hours on end waiting for are test results and then compare are cell count like it was a game. I watched her go through so many hard times all the good and bad news.

"Hello Alex so we've scheduled a surgery date, it's a couple months ahead from now because we need to make sure a couple things are looking good before we do anything. We are looking for a blood transfusion donor." Her eyes look at my mother. "Mrs Eastwood we've already tested your blood donation but it doesn't seem to match Alex's blood type."

"Aren't there other donors? Should I be worried about this?" I asked my doctor.

"Blood types could be tricky to match, it could take months before we test everyone to find the result." She replies. "We'll do everything we can to make sure Alex has a donor."

I regret thinking about asking Peter to get tested, if this wasn't done I couldn't get my surgery and I could-

"If you have or know anyone willing to donate blood send them here to be tested and we'll get the results straight away."

I nod my head. "What happens if I don't get the surgery?"

My doctor looks at me with a blank stare. "The cancer will spread to your bones as the tumor grows which can damage the bones in your body. After the surgery it is possible to also need a bone marrow transplant to regulate the blood stream again."

"So I'll die." I say.

My doctor doesn't say anything and instead she stands up before writing something down in her clipboard.

"It would cause problems yes Alex." She adds. "Your next appointment is in two weeks, these days won't get any easier now so you must take all of your medication and get plenty of rest."

Once we got home I could already hear the argument forming between my mother and Peter. The surgery wouldn't be cheap and now that Peter is around my mother hopes he can help with it, although that doesn't seem likely it was worth a try.

"Peyton." I said through the phone. It was late by now and I could hear the loud crowd cheering in through the phone.

"Alex is everything okay?" She shouts.

I stay silent and feel my eyes suddenly beginning to tear up. I wanted to tell her because I just needed someone to talk to but I didn't want to ruin her night. "Yeah, I have to go call me later?"

"Of course goodnight."

I end the call and make my way over to my desk and skim through my drawings. I haven't drawn in over a month now so I sit down and pick up my pencil before trying to draw anything I could.

I do well for a while until I don't, I get so frustrated that I throw the pencil and my notebook into the trash can.

I shut off my lights and try my best to go to sleep until I hear the loud sound of Gavin's car outside. I sit up and rub my eyes catching the sight of two figures entering Gavin's room from my window.

I immediately want to turn away when I notice it's Georgia with him. If this day couldn't get any worse I see him pull her into a kiss and can't help but feel a little worse than I did before. But then he pulls away and I notice how desperate Georgia is acting by yanking on his shirt every few seconds to bring him closer.

Gavin tells her something which she doesn't seem to like and she begins pacing around the room frantically throwing her hands up in the air. He's now trying to calm her down because she's probably waking up Sarah.

It's interesting and I know it's a bit creepy but cmon I had to watch this drama unfold. Guys like Gavin could have it so much easier if they actually followed what their hearts wanted instead of what their dicks wanted.

I don't want to bother him as I see her exit his house but I also really do. I grab my phone and pick his number that he clearly should have never put in my phone. "Can you keep it down just a bit." I say and notice my voice sounds tired as I speak.

I'm surprised to hear him laugh lightly from the other side. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"I couldn't sleep." I say walking to my window to see Gavin standing at his facing me

"Your voice sounds a lot hotter when your tired did you know that?" He says and I roll my eyes. I had know idea what came over me when I chose to call Gavin but I wanted to talk to him.

"I better get some sleep then." I tell him.

"Are you actually tired?" Gavin asks.

"Very I just can't seem to fall asleep." I sigh at the thought. I hated the days when you were extremely tired but your mind can't seem to stop thinking about every single thing in that moment.

"I can come over, I mean if you want, to help you fall asleep."

I furrow my eyebrows together. "I guess I wouldn't totally mind talking to someone to help me fall asleep."

We both hang up and open are windows and I laugh as I watch Gavin try to make his way across luckily are roofs were rather close to each others so he made it through. "I think your booty calls still standing out there." I mention noticing a blonde sitting on the curb.

"She practically jumped into my car on the way home." Gavin defends. I don't want to mention I saw him kiss her because then I'd be a stalker and I wouldn't hear the end of it from Gavin. I also don't want to mention last weeks conversation.

I put my fingers to my lips to signal him to be quiet because I did not want to wake up my mother or Peter. Gavin rolls his eyes at me before taking a seat on the carpet at the end of my bed. I sit beside him and when I do I notice my glasses were still on by the way they slide down the bridge of my nose when I look down.

I pull them off of my face and put them to the side.

"I think the glasses are nice on you." Gavin mentions nudging me slightly.

"It's hard to tell if you're being sarcastic." I admit.

We both reach for my glasses at the same time and are hands touch and I feel how warm his touch is again. "Geez Wood ever heard of a blanket?" Gavin says turning around to grab and blanket from my bed. "Here put this around your damn body before you freeze to death."

I don't say a remark and instead I move so Gavin can wrap the blanket around my shoulders. "I guess it doesn't bother me." I said, I've gotten used to the cold feeling by now. In the beginning I'd shiver a lot even on warmer days.

"Is this the part where you tell me your a vampire to?" Gavin adds and this time I nudge him in his ribs. "Are you getting any tired?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Not really."

"Okay, well we won are game tonight." He tells me. "I had to sit out half the time because I maybe shoved some kid in the hallway for stepping on my shoes."

I laugh at him. "So I'm not the only one you bully, shocker."

"You're lucky I actually try to be nice when I'm with you."

"Try harder."

Gavin scoffs. "Your a bigger bully than I am."

Couldn't argue with that one.

I hold the blanket closer against my skin and close my eyes. Maybe this was working after all? Without thinking about it I rest my head on Gavin's shoulder and it actually feels very comfortable.

All I could think about was that damn blood donor and that Gavin could possible match me. Maybe I was a vampire after all after his blood. But I could never ask someone to do that for me especially Gavin.

"You're not as bad as I thought you'd be." I mutter. "I mean you are still a dick but you're not all that awful."

"I would say the same but then I'd be lying."

"Asshole." I laugh lightly. I could feel the warmth of his body as he sat next to me and although it was very comforting I knew this wouldn't last as long as I hoped it would. I open my eyes when I feel his hand rest against my cheek and he's also looking down at me.

But instead of leaning in for a kiss like my lips were anticipating I move my head into his chest where he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I smile and I'm glad he can't see because he'd just mock me about it.

"I didn't go to Georgia's house the other night." He finally says and it's a relief knowing. Gavin says something afterwards but my mind can't comprehend his words as I fall into a deep slumber.

I'm not really sure what this is but I think we both just needed the company in whatever world we were trying to run away from.