My eyes slowly open and I'm greeted by the sight of someone's chest I was resting against. Gavin was peacefully sleeping and he looked kinda adorable doing it. I don't know how someone could look so attractive as they slept.

I want to pull away because I know this is wrong but I don't. Instead I lay with him on my carpeted floor for a moment longer until I obnoxiously start poking his cheek to wake him. One of his eyes open to look at me and I think that's when he realizes he's in my room.

"Hey." I nervously reply sitting up from the floor.

"Fuck, my back." He groans out loud. I laugh lightly as he sits up and some hair falls on his forehead. His hand brushes it back and he looks over at me. "What's for breakfast?"

"Good one but you need to leave." I said grabbing my blanket from the floor I toss it back on my bed and turn around to find Gavin standing in front of me. "I'm not kidding."

"Afraid your parents are gonna find out I'm sneaking into your room?" Gavin chuckles at this and all I can do is feel a little irritated.

"I've already gotten into a lot of trouble because of you." I admit.

"You make me sound like the bad guy when your also part of the reason you get into trouble, you have to face it sooner or later that you like having me around."

I roll my eyes to play it off like he's wrong when in fact I did like having him around.

"You like that I drive you wild." He gently grabs me by my waist and pulls me into his chest that my hands rest against it and I try to push him away. "What? Afraid of temptation." He whispers into my ear I can feel the chills running down my spine. I shiver as he kisses my jaw bone before he lets me go and without another word he climbs through my window and leaves. Gavin was devouring my heart and somehow, he left me wanting to feed him more.

"Good morning." My mom smiles at me once I enter the kitchen. Peters passed out on the couch and I watch as my mother cleans up his mess. "I'm taking Peter to find a job you don't mind staying here do you?"

"I don't really have another choice." I said.

"I suppose not but don't worry we won't be too long." She hits Peters arm and he jolts up from his position. "Get up!"

Sometimes I wished to have a perfect family until I realized they don't actually exist. It was interesting to see the way my parents acted with each other. I can see my mother still cared for Peter but I could never imagine the two of them being compatible. I'm guessing after I was born they drifted apart so I'm the reason they fell out of love.

As sad as it sounds if I had died I only hope my mother could find someone who cared for her as much as she does for everyone else.

I go back into my room and take my medication before I hop in the shower. The waters warm and it feels good against my skin. When I step out I notice a few red patches on my stomach and chest. The doctors told me this would happen eventually which meant my leukemia was becoming more disruptive to my blood stream.

I finally get dressed and once I walk out of my bathroom do I want to scream because Gavin's laying on my bed. He quickly sits up surprised to see me having a full on panic attack. "Ever heard of privacy?" I said shaking my head at him.

"Says the one always watching me through their window." Gavin rolls his eyes at me. "I saw your parents leave."

"So that gives you the right to break into my room?" I question furrowing my eyebrows at him.

He shrugs his shoulders and I notice the way his muscles flex as he does it. The smirk on his lips turn into a grin as he watches me brush my very tangled hair. "Yes Gavin?"

"Oh nothing."

We both suddenly hear the doorbell ring and I make my way downstairs hearing Gavin behind me. At least if this was a stranger I'd have Gavin to protect me right?

I open the door and Zach's standing there once again. I feel a large pit in my stomach as Gavin steps beside me and leans against the doorframe. "Hey Zach what's up?" Gavin asks

smiling at him like he's just trying to irritate him.

"Hey Gavin what are you doing here?" Zach asks, his eyes move back and forth between us and I can see how this looks.

"What are you doing here?" Gavin asks.

"Gavin you can go now." I tell him. I think he takes offense to this because he furrows his eyebrows at me and shakes his head. "Are you serious right now?"

"Maybe I'll just come by later." Zach tells me.

"No Gavin was just leaving." I say through gritted teeth looking at Gavin and the smirk across his lips. Why was he being so difficult?

"No I wasn't." Gavin tells Zach. "I think what she means to say is she's obviously been avoiding you for a reason."

My lips part to speak and that's when Gavin steps in front of me. "Sorry to break it to you Zach better luck next time."

"What the hell Gavin?" I hear Zach say as I try to go passed Gavin's body blocking the doorway now. "You don't have to have every girl to be happy."

"Who said I wanted her?" Gavin laughs and I notice he steps forward. I finally cut in front of him stopping him from getting any closer to Zach because I have a feeling this will end badly.

"Calm down." I huffed. What's up with this competition between them and I did not want to be in the middle of it. "I think both of you should leave."

They don't say anything and Zach just nods his head before walking off the porch. Gavin's still here though and I really want to punch him.

"Alex."

"Just leave me alone." I tell him hoping he would just listen and to my expense he doesn't. I try closing the door but his hand stops me from doing so. "I'm tired of this game your trying to play and now you won't even let me have friends?"

"You've been ignoring him for a reason." Gavin reminds me. "I don't want you talking to him."

I laugh out loud. "Sorry but I'm not one of your puppet girls."

"Can you make this any easier on me?" Gavin sighs.

"You're so confusing you know that?" I tell him.

"I've spent this whole time trying to forget about you, but you were everywhere and thinking of you became a poison I drank often." Gavin says and I stare into his green eyes once more and notice the way his eyes are more dilated than usual.

I look away shocked that he's telling me this. I thought all those moments we had together were just fun and games and until now does it sink in, that all of this time, Gavin felt something for me too.

"Your brown eyes drive me insane. You looked at my demons and smiled enjoying everything I thought you'd fear. You're addictive because you possess a pure heart and a dirty mind." He adds taking my hands in his. "I knew it was you when I saw you in that red dress, because no one else makes sense."

"You had all this time to tell me." I mention.

Gavin looks disappointed.

"Don't do this to yourself." I tell him. "You don't want to be with me."

In that moment I felt vulnerable and I knew how easily Gavin could break my heart if he wanted too. I also knew how easily my heart would break if I let him. So maybe it wouldn't hurt if I was the one to do it.

I pull away and move my hands to my sides in a awkward attempt to stop myself from holding him. Gavin looks at me, worried and angry at the same time. "I can't." It comes out as whisper as my lips fight back to say it.

"But I thought-"

"No." I cut him off before he has the chance to say it. He looked so unapproachable in that moment and here he was approaching me. "I'm not ready for this."

"Me, you mean me because seconds ago you seemed very eager to speak to Zach." Gavin shakes his head and his eyes wander around the house. "You went on a fucking date with him?"

"Gavin." I breathe out. I walk towards him and he takes two steps back. "I didn't want this to happen."

Heat is radiating off of him and I can feel it from here. A line creases into the smooth skin on his forehead. "I thought you'd be easy an fuck." He says and I don't want to listen anymore. "You practically obeyed me, doing anything I told you to do."

"Stop." I shake my head. "You don't mean that." He's angry, he's just angry I tell myself which gives me some relief.

"You don't have some control over me."

He stops speaking when my arms wrap around his torso and my hands ball into fists holding onto his t shirt. "You don't mean it, you're just angry." I say closing my eyes as my head rests against him. I can feel his body tense up at this.

The air becomes silent but I can still hear Gavin's heavy breathing. I didn't want him to hate me and say things that he doesn't actually mean at least I hope he doesn't mean them. I finally let go and Gavin gives me a blank stare.

"Tell your mom I'm done with this shit babysitting job." He curses under his breath and walks out. Once the door closes my heart weakens and I start to cry. I don't think he'll ever realize how much he's changed everything for me.

I haven't cried for so long, I've tried keeping it in and now I can't seem to stop.