Three weeks have gone by since I met with Tyler for coffee. Since then, life has gotten back to normal. Or at least whatever this new normal is. I still have a dull ache in my heart that misses Tyler, I'm realizing it may never fully go away. It feels sort of like a scar that healed over leaving a visible reminder in its place. Either way, I'm pushing past whatever remaining pain I have in my heart and forcing myself to enjoy Junior year again.

Hanging with the girls and cheering has kept me busy and distracted. Payton's ankle is back to normal yet she still insists on sitting some stunts out at games just so I have to go in for her. That girl loves to push me out of my comfort zone. I know she does it out of love though, so I allow it.

Speaking of games, by some miracle the Bulldogs are still in the running for the State Title. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a huge relief that their season didn't end early while Tyler was benched. They might have barely squeaked by but they did it and that's what matters. Tonight will be Tyler's first game back since the suspension. If they can pull off the W tonight, the Bulldogs are only 2 games away from the Title.

*****

"I'm all for our boys making a run for the championship obvi so don't get me wrong when I say this..... But anyone else ready for football season to be over with?! It's just too freaking cold out to be cheering for three hours each Friday Night." Kelly dramatically shivers as we throw our cheer bags down on the track.

She's not wrong. It's November now and the temperature this evening is an unforgiving high of 34 degrees. With the wind though it feels more like 20 degrees.

"You guys definitely left this part out when you convinced me to join the team." I joke.

I'm wearing two pairs of leggings under my warm up pants, three shirts under my cheer jacket, gloves and a beanie on my head, but I'm still going numb.

"Oh come on. I know it's freezing and we would all much rather be sitting in my hot tub or doing anything else that doesn't require turning into human popsicles.....but if you really had a choice, would you choose to be somewhere else?" Payton asks us.

"Noooo" We all groan back in unison.

"You're right, Mother Payton." Rachel's tone mocking. "We will always choose to support our Bulldogs. Sometimes I just wish we lived in Arizona instead of Michigan while we did it."

"At least after tonight's game, if the boys move on, the championship game is played inside Ford Field so we won't have to freeze to death." Claire adds with optimism.

"Speaking of your hot tub Pay, you're inviting us all over to jump in after this game is over right?" Kelly raises her eyebrow in question.

"Duh!" Is Payton's only response.

Up until now I've purposely been avoiding Payton's house in fear of seeing Tyler there. The girls and I never talked about it out loud but it's like they knew without me saying anything. We haven't hung out at the Johnson's since Homecoming which isn't normal for us. Instead, we go to a coffee shop or to Kelly's house when we are together. I know my fears are a bit silly at this point but none of them have tried to push me until I'm ready.

"You ok with that Lila?"

Payton asks me quietly so not everyone else can hear. It's like she can read my thoughts.

"Umm....yeah. That sounds really nice actually."

It finally feels alright to go back to their house. I'm ready.

"Good, because you know you're always welcome at my house. My parents have even been asking about you lately. They miss you."

"Thanks Pay, and I know. You always have my back. This whole situation between Tyler and I couldn't have been easy for you to navigate but you were seriously a major part of making me feel whole again. I think I'm finally past the worst of it and that's thanks largely to you."

"Stop it girl. You would have done the same for me. That's what friends are for." Payton gives me a hug.

"Alright ladies. Enough chit chat. I need to see you warm up each of your stunts quickly, it's only ten minutes until kick off." Coach Kim yells to us all.

*****

This game is brutal, and I'm not just talking about the cold. (Although it did start to freezing rain on us in the third quarter). No, what I'm referring to is that there's only one minute left in the game and the Bulldogs are down by seven. The Eagles have the ball and are getting dangerously close to their end zone. Tyler and the rest of the guys have been trying their best to fight off their opponents all night but the other team has been killing it. I'm not saying the Bulldogs have been playing poorly, because they haven't and Tyler has made some clean passes and scored us some touchdowns. It's just the Eagles are stacked and definitely like to play dirty so it hasn't been enough. Mason has taken some hard hits as have half of the other guys. The refs seem to not be watching the same game the rest of us have been witnessing because they should have called "unnecessary roughness" penalties about six times by now and haven't.

Suddenly the Bulldog's safety catches a lucky break and intercepts the Eagles ball right before they are able to score another touchdown. The crowd on our side of the stadium goes completely insane. We are on offense again which means Tyler can go back in and we might have a chance to tie the game. My body would hate to endure overtime in this weather but if it meant the Bulldog season didn't have to end tonight, we'd all do it willingly.

Tyler commands the field when he and his teammates break from the huddle. I'm holding my breath with each play that he calls. The first down he goes for a long pass to Mason which gets deflected by the Eagles defense. Second down Tyler fakes to the left then throws a shorter pass to Chase which again, is unsuccessful. The Eagles defense is tight, maybe the best in the state.

It's the third down. The clock is not on our side and we have a lot of ground to make up if we have any chance at tying this game. Tyler calls the play and the stadium is dead silent. Tyler fakes left, then right and goes to pass when he sees an opening and guns it straight forward as fast as he can. He's cruising past the twenty, thirty, forty— then BAM! He's hit hard by an Eagles linebacker.

Tyler doesn't move or get up when the massive Eagles player gets off of him. Immediately my heart sinks. Payton, who is next to me on the track, grabs my hand. We both stand silently, unable to breathe, as we watch the athletic trainer and coaching staff run onto the field. They form a semicircle surrounding him so we can't see him anymore. My heart is pounding and my head is flooded with all the worst case scenarios that could be wrong.

A minute later we get clued in that Tyler is up and moving from the sound of the crowd clapping. I take an immediate sigh of relief when I see him walking on his own with the trainer off the field.

He's ok. Thank God.

What little bit that remains of the game is a blur that I'm no longer paying any attention to. My eyes are glued to the sideline where the trainer conducts further tests on Tyler. The clock ticks down to zero and the Bulldogs come up short. It's a devastating loss. I watch as Tyler gets off the bench, stopping the trainer mid exam, to go join his fellow teammates in an embrace. This is his senior year. This game was Tyler's last. I'm sure he feels awful right now, especially since the last three games he should have been a part of and he wasn't. I wipe away a tear that fell from the corner of my eye without me realizing. Even if Tyler and I aren't on great terms right now I still feel horrible for him.

****

The mood at Payton's house is a somber one. As promised, Payton still invited us over to warm up in the hot tub after the game even if all of us felt like we just attended a funeral. None of us even bothered to change into swim suits, we just stripped some of our extra layers and got in wearing our leggings and sports bras.

"Have any of you talked to the boys yet?" I finally break the silence.

"No. Not really. They all walked straight to the locker room after the game. I sent Jake a text but he hasn't responded yet. I'm not sure if he will tonight. I think they are all probably still processing." Payton tells us.

"Chase texted saying he would call me later but that's it. He's handling it a little better since he's a Junior and still gets next season but he's definitely still sad. For the seniors though.....I can only imagine how sad they must feel." Kelly frowns.

"Brady's been quiet too. What about Mason? Have you heard from him at all, Rach?" Claire asks.

"Not yet. If I know him at all he's probably still in that locker room not wanting to leave or face the fact it's really over. I'm sure TJ will have to drag his butt out at some point." Rachel laughs but there's no joy behind it.

We all sit quietly in the hot tub next to each other until we start turning into prunes. We're grabbing some towels and heading inside when two sets of car lights flash up the driveway towards us. It's Tyler's Jeep and Jake's Explorer. We watch as all the guys file out of the vehicles and walk towards us.

"Heyyyy. Weren't sure if we would hear from you guys at all tonight." Payton goes in for a hug with Jake despite being soaking wet.

"We decided we might as well all head this way. None of us wanted to spend the night alone. We figured you girls might be here." Jake replies.

"Well I'm glad you guys came babe." Payton pecks Jake's lips with a kiss.

All my friends each pair off to their guy consoling them as we walk inside. Tyler gives me a sheepish grin walking up beside me.

"I'm really sorry about how everything turned out tonight. I know you probably don't want to hear it right now, but you did play really well." I say.

"Thanks." Tyler scratches at the back of his head.

"How are you feeling? That hit was pretty rough."

"I'm alright. Trainer thinks it's a mild concussion, nothing I haven't dealt with before. I should be over it in a few days."

"A concussion!" Instinctively I reach for Tyler. "That's not something you should take lightly."

I stare up into his blue eyes for assurance that he is ok. They are sad but still beautiful, like always.

"You worried about me Bruiser?" A grin starts to form on his lips.

Tyler is trying to deflect his pain with humor, but I see right through it.

"Actually yeah....I am." I admit. "The concussion is one thing, but even without that happening I'd still be worried about you. I know this wasn't the way you saw your season ending. It must be hard is all I'm saying." My voice trails off.

Tyler clears his throat and pulls his massive arms around me for a hug. Immediate butterflies form in my stomach from the closeness I haven't felt from him in weeks. Wrapping my arms around his torso I let myself melt into his embrace a little further. Man how I've missed this.

"Thank you Lila. I really mean that." He tips my chin up to meet his gaze. "You're always looking out for your friends. That's one of my favorite parts about you. Even though I know I messed everything up between us, and probably ruined all chances for friendship or anything else with you, it means a lot to me that you care enough to check in."

"You're welcome Tyler. Just because we aren't...... uh.... whatever we were, doesn't mean I stopped caring." My face starts to blush a little at my confession.

"I feel the same way."