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Dedication: Dreammymisery for kick ass cover. I love it. :)

I'm going away for a few days so I thought I would update early. Hope you enjoy!

Recap:

"Oh, look who it is, the happy couple."

I pivoted slowly, my eyes landing on Mercedes. She gave us a tight lipped smile, her eyes flashing red hot anger. I quirked an eyebrow, surprised. We weren't seeing eye to eye, on well, anything really, but this anger was new to me.

I would have thought she would be ecstatic about Aiden and I's break up. But for some reason, she looked angrier than ever.

"Lacey," she started, a cocky smirk plastered on her face. "I have something to tell you."

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I'm not sure whether I wanted to cry or punch them both in the throat.

I decided on doing something similar to option two. Lunging forward, my palm slashed across her face. Mercedes cried out, staggering to the side. She clutched her head in hers hands, her right cheek instantly turning red.

If the news had been any different, I would have kneed her in the stomach.

Her mouth opened, but I swivelled my eyes to her. I death stared her so hard I thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. I knew I had been a bad best friend, but I would never, do anything like this to her.

"If you open your mouth and speak to me again, I'm going to rip your tongue out with my bare hands." I stepped towards her, my eyes turning into slits. "In fact, I don't think I can't even wait for you to talk. I want to do it right now."

She swallowed, taking a few steps back. "Lace-"

An enraged growl tore from my throat. My hand circled around the end of her hair and I yanked it as hard as I could. A scream pierced my ears, but it only egged me on. I wanted her blood on my hands. My vision was turning red.

I needed to hit her.

Carter's strong arms wrenched me back. I swung my elbow into his side. He hardly even flinched. He wrapped his arms around me, in attempt to stop me flailing. I felt like a criminal who had just been caught. Or maybe someone who had just escaped a psych ward. Either way, my chest was rising rapidly and my breathing sounded like I smoked three packs a day.

My hair was messy, my eyes were tinged and my entire body trembling with fury. I probably looked insane. I felt insane.

"I know you're mad and I know we have a lot to talk about, but you need to stop."

"Are you guys serious?" the guy working at the bowling alley asked furiously, before I had a chance to bite back. "First time back together after your ban and you start a fight?"

No one replied, we all just shot daggers at him for interrupting.

He sighed in frustration, rubbing his fingers over his temples. "Get out and don't come back."

He turned his back to us and stormed towards his counter, his back rigid. His words had no effect on me. Nothing had much effect on me after what I just heard. I stopped struggling. I stopped my attempt to break from his arms. I stood perfectly still and focused on my breathing, trying to regain normality.

After a few moments Carter's grip went slack as he stepped away from me wearily. He was looking at me like I was a ticking time bomb, seconds away from exploding. He was right to look at me like that because that's precisely how I was feeling.

"You think I'm mad?" I asked, my voice so low and even, I surprised myself. It held so much anger, it was startling.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking nervous.

"You think we have a 'lot to talk about'?" I asked calmly, although my body was shaky with fury.

He swallowed, glancing at Mercedes.

"I don't ever want you to speak to me again. I'll be gone by the time you get home. I'd rather live on streets than be anywhere near you."

I turned from him before he could say anything. My eyes were stinging. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry out of depression, or anger. Maybe a bit of both.

"And you." Mercedes looked at me in the eye. She knew she would get a reaction from me. She wanted me to be mad. To be hurt. But I think she underestimated exactly how hurt I was. "You are dead to me."

Her mouth popped open. She looked shocked. Is she serious? Our friendship was already in dangerous waters, it couldn't possibly handle anything like this.

Tantalisingly slow, I ran my eyes over her. My face was a mirror of complete and utter disgust. With that, I stormed out of the bowling alley. I walked over to Carter's car and kicked it. I began beating at the windows, the tyres, anything I could touch. It was a way to let some of my pent up anger out, since I can't hit the target I actually want to. I heard him yell after me. His footsteps began to thunder on the path. Hurting his car was the way to hurting his heart. He loved this thing.

With one final punch, I struck my fist onto the front screen. A crack formed underneath my knuckles. My hands burned and stung, blood forming on them, but I didn't care. I hardly even felt the pain. Calmly, I walked from him car, as if nothing had happened.

I didn't stop walking until my feet hurt, my back was sore and my head was hanging. Carter kept calling out to me, but soon, his voice died away with everything else. He knew coming after me would be no use, so I assume he's going to let me 'cool off'.

I hadn't kept track of where I was going. I was planning to go get my stuff from Carter's, but that would be the first place he would go, before coming to search for me. So, I stayed on the streets. Walking over to a park that no one really goes to anymore, I perched myself on one of the swings. The harsh wind slapped my face roughly, making me wish I had brought a thicker jacket with me.

Only then, I let myself cry.

I hated crying. But I needed to. My body couldn't handle this being bottled up.

Chest-wracking sobs rolled through my body. I was crying so hard that it hurt. My chest ached. I clawed through my clothes, as if that would ease the pain my heart was feeling. I wanted to die. I struggled to breathe as I rocked back and forth.

I felt completely ruined.

I don't care if I'm being dramatic. If you were completely in love (maybe even obsessed) with someone, only to have them toy with you and break your heart over and over again, you would probably feel this way as well.

But what I didn't expect, was my best friend not only want to ruin one of my relationships, but my next one as well.

I hated her so much. But not as much as I hated him.

Or myself, for letting myself get close to Carter Williams again.

***

I felt sick to my stomach.

Sleep was a distant concept to me. It had been two days and I have heard nothing from Lacey. No one has. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I vomit randomly, I cry and there's this numb, empty feeling in my chest. I have never experienced anything like this before.

I was a complete jerk and deserve this.

The amount of times I had attempted to call or text her is ridiculous. I don't even care if she doesn't want to talk to me. I just need to know she is okay.

That she is alive.

I ran my hands roughly over my face. I hated myself for what I did to her. How am I ever going to regain her trust after this? I was a stupid, young boy who didn't think. I regret everything I have done which has hurt her. She doesn't deserve it. The only time she is ever angry or upset, is when I have done something stupid.

Her life would be better without me. But I was too selfish to let her go. I couldn't stand to be away with her. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't have been with so many other girls, in attempt to forget about her. Ironically enough, this is what got me into this situation in the first place.

Seeing her every day, with that tool, made me so insane with jealously. I can't even describe how jealous I was. I was so in love with her, it was dangerous. I am in love with her. It made me do stupid things that I'm not proud of.

I guess love changes you.

Slowly, I stood, before stumbling towards the bathroom. I spent so many hours, driving everywhere and anywhere I could think of. It was like she had disappeared from the face of the earth. I continuously checked the cubby. It looked well-kept as usual and no one was ever there. I thought, just maybe, she went there as all her clothes and belongings are still at my house. But there was no sign of her anywhere.

After not hearing from her, for the second night in a row, I decided to get so drunk I forgot my own name. I drank entire bottle of vodka within half an hour and some other shots I can't even remember. To say I was slightly hung over would be erroneous.

The sick sensation I have had in my stomach, is not only worry, but a literal sickness. I have thrown up my entire food intake. I must have. No one should be able to produce as much vomit as I did. Not only was I sick and worried about her, I was afraid of her parents. Of them finding out what has happened.

Imagine if Elizabeth and Ben came home right now.

"Oh hey guys. We lost your kid, but other than that, we're going fine."

Yeah. That would go down well.

I stared at the person who was reflecting back at me. His hair was sticking up in odd angles. Deep, purple bags that have never existed before, hung beneath his eyes. Dried up vomit was smudged across his chin.

I didn't even recognise myself.

Splashing warm water on my face felt good. I began furiously scrubbing at my skin. I needed to remove the filth, aka Mercedes touch, from my skin. It was weeks if not months ago since, but I could still feel her on me.

The thought made me even sicker.

"Are you attempting to skin yourself alive?" a voice asked.

I jumped about a metre in the air, slamming my head on the cabinet. Black dots erupted across my vision. The egg that will probably form on my head, will not help the already hammering headache that has gathered behind my eyes. Wincing, I took a step back, rubbing my head.

"What are you doing here and how the hell did you get in?"

"Is that the way you really should be speaking to the mother of your child?" she asked, a cruel smile stretching across her face. Her eyes held glee that looked as though she was controlling a game. A game which controlled my life and I was just her pawn.

"I wore protection. Didn't think that one through, did you?" I spat.

"They don't always work."

"They have always for me. You are not special. You are no exception."

She sighed, leaning against the door frame nonchalantly. "And here I was thinking we would have a June wedding."

I wanted to choke her.

"You are not pregnant."

"Yes I am."

"No. You're not."

"I can stand here all day and argue with you Carter, but you need to face the facts. I am pregnant. You're the father. The quicker you get your mind around it, the better."

"Prove it." I growled.

"I have an ultrasound booked next week. You can come with me."

"Like hell I would go anywhere with you."

"Carter, underneath your whole 'player and jerk' facade, you're genuinely a good guy. Sometimes, anyway. I know you will do whatever possible for your child. You will be a good father. I may not be the person you want me to be, but you can't deny your child of the life it deserves."

"I would be the best father in the entire world." I ground out. Those were some of the truest words that have ever come out of her mouth. "If only yours was mine."

She sighed in annoyance. "Why not come with me to the ultrasound if you don't believe me?"

"Going to an ultrasound and proving that you're pregnant, won't tell me if I'm the father."

"A DNA test would."

My mouth snapped shut pretty quickly. I didn't have anything to say back to that.

"Exactly. Pick me on Tuesday morning. The appointment is at nine a.m." she said, with a wide smile spread across her face. "I'll show myself out."

"You do realise Lacy is an official missing person now?" I yelled at her, wanting her to feel exactly how I did. I want her to suffer and understand the damage she has caused. "I'm about to head to the police station and tell them it has been the mandatory forty eight hours. An official search can be conducted now."

The colour drained a little from her face. "You haven't heard from her in two days?"

"No one has."

She grew silent, which only annoyed me further.

"It's all because of you." I said, seething. I could feel my face growing hot. A deep flush ran down the back of my neck.

"Don't act like you're a saint!" She suddenly screeched, taking me by surprise. She strode over to me and punched me square in the chest. I hardly even felt it, but I still took a step back. My lower back hit the edge of the sink, making me realise I had nowhere else to go. "Don't act like you're innocent in this! If you hadn't seduced me, like you do to so many other girls, we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place!"

"It was a stupid move, I know. One that I regret whole heartedly." I saw her face fall slightly as I said that, but I kept going. "I hate myself every day, for even touching you. But what's done is done. I wasn't the one who dropped the bomb on her like that. I wasn't the one to make her run away. I actually care for Lacey."

We shared a heated stare for several minutes, both of us too angry to speak. Finally, she was the one who broke the ice.

"I hate you."

"Don't worry, the feeling is mutual."

Her face turned a dark shade of red. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she struggled to say something back. After spluttering a few painful, incoherent words and watching her gape like a fish, she turned and took off from my bathroom. Angrily, I projected my foot into the shower door. Glass shattered around me and struck my foot.

Apparently when either Lacey or I got mad, we liked to break glass. I hardly even felt the pain of the glass shards. I didn't care. There were bigger problems I needed to face.

I was about to tell the police that my almost girlfriend is a missing person because I mistakenly slept with her best friend and got her knocked up.

I hate my life.

***

I am so glad I have the cubby.

This has been my hide-away for the last two days. Carter pops by, at least once every hour, but I always manage to make a run for it. I don't want him to know where I am. I keep the place tidy, as if no one has been here for days.

Except, that I had been. And I wasn't alone.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me, plopping down on the steps and handing me a warm cup of tea. I smiled at him, grateful he was here.

"Shattered. Broken. Miserable." I replied, taking a tentative sip.

He gave me a sad smile. "You'll be okay."

"Is that how I made you feel?" I asked quietly, not looking at him. "When you found out I cheated on you with Carter, is this how you felt?"

Aiden fell quiet for a moment. "Yes and no."

I drew my legs up to my chest, feeling like a terrible person. Absently, I slipped one of my fingers behind my bandage and scratched. After stupidly punching Carter's car window, it left me with bruised knuckles and a swollen hand. The swelling still hasn't gone down, much to my annoyance. Hopefully I haven't done any other damage. That's going to be embarrassing to explain to the doctor.

"Nothing big, just had a fight with my best friend and almost boyfriend, got angry and punched his car window. But no, I don't have anger management issues or anything."

"Yes, I felt miserable for a while because I loved you. No, I did not feel broken. I knew I would be okay, because I expected this from the start. Not you cheating, of course. But the fact that I was getting involved with you, when I knew your history with Carter. I took the risk anyway because I wanted to be with you. It was good... amazing while it lasted. But I don't regret, for one second, ever being involved with you."

I stared at him for a moment, shocked at his words. He was so amazing. Why could I not return his love? Why did I have to always make the wrong decisions and be with the wrong boys? Boy, anyway.

"You are too good for me." I sighed. "I don't deserve someone like you."

"You deserve the world at your fingertips." he whispered, almost bringing me to tears, which felt like the thousandth time this year. I had never cried so much in my life, than I had this past few months.

I glanced up and he was staring right into my eyes, as if he knew me better than I knew myself. Something inside my chest swelled. He wasn't Carter, but he was a nice, caring guy who loved me. Why couldn't I have stayed with him?

Although Carter has hurt you, you will never stop loving him. A voice whispered in my head. The way you feel when you're with him, the way you are just from hearing his voice... No one, will ever live up to his standards. You will never be able to be with someone else again. And this scares the hell out of you.

I sighed deeply through my nose, my eyes drifting closed.

"So do you."

He slid an arm around my shoulders and hugged me close to him. I nuzzled my face into his chest, seeking his warmth. Although it had been sunny out, my body had remained cold. I was beginning to question whether I would ever feel warm again.

"I was wrong about Mercedes." he suddenly said, his voice low. "I genuinely thought she was a good person. Fills me with regret."

Why did he feel regret?

I didn't reply. My lip twitched upon hearing her name. I swallowed down my anger and stayed silent. I didn't want to waste any more time and energy crying about her.

"You know how she spoke to me a lot, when I was with you?"

"Yes?" I ground out, trying to keep my anger in check.

"She was hooking up with someone. That's why I didn't understand why you thought she was trying to hit on me all the time. I assumed you knew. But now that I think about it, it was obvious you didn't."

"What?" I asked, pulling back. Mercedes has been with someone else? So much for being whole heartedly in love with Aiden. Unless this guy was a distraction, or a replacement of the real thing. "Who?"

"Thomas someone. She never told me his last name."

"That sneaky, little, bitch."

He let out a soft laugh, jostling my hair. "Don't worry about her. You don't need someone like that in your life."

"But she is in my life. I can't get away from her."

He rolled his lips into his mouth. "You'll just have- uh oh."

"What?" I asked, instantly straightening up, alarm shooting through my veins. "Uh oh what?"

"Carter..." he trailed off and that's when I heard the footsteps.

I clambered to my feet, in attempt to run before he saw me, but it was too late. Our eyes met and the wind was knocked out of me. Like it always was when I saw him. Even when I hated him, more than now anyway (if possible), he still had this effect on me. I don't think the tingly feeling in my toes or the way my heart skipped a beat when I was around him will ever go away. This idea would be exciting if we weren't in the situation we're in now.