My eyes can't stray away from a pissed off Jackson. No ones can. He doesn't seem to notice, though. Maybe that's why he just walks straight to Brittni.

I wish I didn't feel hurt when he hugs Brittni and attempts a smile for her and not me, but I am the one who caused his pain. I'm a selfish bitch. A horrible sister.

Am I really, though? Is it so wrong for me to be with the person I love?

I look away finally when Jackson walks towards his team. This game could show just how angry Jackson is at Colten. With my boyfriend being the wide receiver and my brother being the quarterback, I'm worried how they're going to make this work.

As the buzzer goes off to start the game, my heart rate increases and I barely remember any of the cheers we're doing. This causes Brittni to look at me funny.

"Blue twenty! Blue twenty!" I hear Jackson yell faintly to his teammates before the play is in action. I'm not sure how most of the plays work, but I'm pretty sure this pass is supposed to go to Colten, or was. Instead, Jackson passes it to someone by the number of eighteen and he gets tackled right away. The coach yells some profanities before beckoning his team to the sidelines.

Jackson can't seriously be doing this. Can he? I get that he's mad at us, but he's seriously going to kill the chances of winning this game?

"This is not good," Brittni mumbles, watching as the coach yells at Jackson. He doesn't look like he cares.

Colten's eyes catch mine and I send him a worried look. He knows as well as I do that if Jackson doesn't quit acting like a kid for this game, we'll lose. I could care less if he curses at me and yells when we get home, but this is not the time nor place for his immaturity.

Again, another play is in active and Jackson does one that doesn't result in passing to Colten.

I'm pissed.

I know scouts are here looking at both Jackson and Colten and now my older brother is ruining his chances for an amazing college. All because of one little thing.

I want to feel bad for him, to empathize for what he's going through, but at this point I just can't. Not when he's acting like this. I mean, he'll willing to give something so big up because of this. It's just not okay.

By the time halftime comes around, we're down by one touchdown thanks to Jackson's actions the first play. I watch the boys go into the locker room and Brittni pulls me to face her.

"I'll talk to him," she panics. "I'll make sure he stops acting-"

"He won't listen," I look down. "When he's angry, he'll be this way for months."

"I can't still try-"

The sound of the rowdy football boys cuts her off. All of them are doing our school anthem except for Jackson and Colten. The difference is that, Jackson is in the front of the pack while Colten trails behind with a look of anger and frustration etched on his face.

He's walking towards me now.

"I'm sorry," I hug him. I don't know what to say or do to help him out. I want him to not let it get to him, but then again, maybe he should show anger towards my brother. I know I am. "I'm so so sorry."

"Don't apologize for him," he whispers, burying his face in my hair. "We'll figure it out."

"What if we don't?" I ask, clutching on to his jersey. I don't want to let him go.

"Nothing can break us apart," he says once again, pulling away and looking up at the score board. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," I peck his lips once, wanting to keep them there longer, but Jackson is just a few feet away.

My hands fall to my sides as I watch Colten jog away. And I pray for this to all work out.

It's the third play on our side and I can tell Colten is starting to lose his temper. Jackson has been doing every play in the book in order for Colten to never feel the ball in his hands. I'm just as angry.

I cross my fingers in hopes that Jackson will pull through, but as he calls the next route and the ball soars to someone else, making them get tackled, I nearly cry in frustration.

My eyes focus on Colten who unstraps his helmet, pulling it free of his head as he angrily stomps towards my brother who also rids of his helmet.

Uh oh.

"What the hell was that?" Colten shouts, shoving Jackson chest.

"What?" My brother innocently asks. "I thought you would know what was going on."

"I get you're mad," Colten clenches his jaw, now in Jackson's face. "But this is bullshit."

"Bullshit?" Jackson questions angrily. "What's bullshit is the fact that my best friend and little sister were fucking. In my own house!"

I should do something. I should run out onto that field and yell at Jackson for acting like this. For not waiting until we were some where more private. But I can't move, my whole body is frozen in terror.

"We knew you would act exactly like this if we didn't tell you properly," Colten growls. "Besides, it's not like you were fucking Brittni behind Nikki's-"

"You son of a bitch," Jackson snarls before punch is thrown at Colten jaw, again. The crowd gasps in surprise and the football team and coaches go to break up the fight.

"You know I'm right," Colten smirks, spitting out blood. "That's why you get so mad."

"You don't know what you're fucking talking about." Jackson goes in for another punch, but this time Colten meets him with a slam to the nose.

My eyes widen in surprise.

Before Jackson can get fully enraged and throw another fist, the coaches and security guards pull the boys apart.

They get walked over to the benches while the game continues, but everyone's eyes are on the two boys.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Coach yells. "Causing a scene on my field!"

The boys only glare at each other.

"No one wants to talk?" He asks. "Fine, get off my field. Now!"

At first, I don't think the news hits the boys as hard as it should. Especially when - one at a time - they go into the locker room to change. But as they walk towards their truck, they realize something.

"Where're you going?" Brittni yells after me as I grab my bag and run after the boys.

I don't notice my best friend has followed me until I'm at Colten's truck.

"Colten," I breathe. The look on his face says it all; he's hurt. Not physically, but emotionally and physically. And while I'm about to go console him, a hand grips my wrist, pulling me back a few steps.

"You can leave now," Jackson growls at Colten.

"Get off me, Jackson!" I screech, trying to pull free, but he pushes me behind his back to keep my still.

"I don't want you near her or me ever again," my brother growls menacingly. The sound makes unwelcome dread cloud my thoughts.

"So that's it?" Colten's voice cracks as he stares at me and then my brother.

"'That's it' what?" He demands.

"Because you don't like the fact your sister and I are dating, you're going to throw away years of friendship?" He explains, the hurt in his eyes makes me want to cry in agony.

He doesn't deserve this. No one does. Everyone should be able to have the person they love next to them without fights, but look what's happening to us.

"Obviously that friendship meant nothing to you or you wouldn't have slept with my sister," Jackson bites back.

"Jax stop," Brittni throws in, putting her hands on his chest as she tries to make my brother calm down.

Nothing will ever make him calm down.

"I love her!" He snaps.

"You don't know what love is," Jackson glares. "Neither does she. You have her thinking this - this betrayal is love. It's fucked up."

"I do love her," Colten takes a threatening step closer. "And if you did too you would be happy she found someone who cares for her as much as I do."

Jackson goes silent, his eyes darting angrily between Brittni and my boyfriend.

"Besides," Colten smiles bitterly. "If this was a real friendship, you would be there for me, like I was to you when you and Brittni got together."

"Shut up," Jackson clenches his jaw.

"I hid your little secrets from Nikki because you were my best friend. I lied to everyone because you asked me to! Now you can't return the fucking favor," he shakes his head.

My heart aches for my boyfriend, my love, and there's nothing I could ever say or do to numb the pain. The only thing that can heal him is for Jackson's blessing and I know that won't be happening for a while.

"If I ever see your face around my little sister again, I will personally do more than punch you in the face," Jackson growls lowly.

"Let me go," I fight, my eyes glueing to a defeated Colten. "Jackson stop!"

"Let her go, Jackson," Brittni follows after us.

"I swear to god, Nikki," Jackson turns to me. I was expecting to see anger in his eyes, but instead it's exhaustion and sadness. "If you don't get in my fucking truck, I will lock you in your room for the rest of your life."

I know he would never do that. He loves and respects me too much to ever hurt me in that way, but not enough to let me be with Colten.

So, I don't fight back.

•••

The tears don't stop coming. They slide down my face and then soak into my pillow. All my sadness and anger is deposited into tears that have been non stop since I've come home.

While most of my friends - except for Brittni - are out celebrating the miracle win at Dustin's house, I'm crying until I can't any more.

I have to do something. I can't just sit here and pity myself for what's happened.

With this in mind, I throw on a pair of sweats, and a hoodie with moccasins. I pull my wet hair into a bun and grab my phone.

I'm surprised for the fact that Jackson hadn't taken my phone when we got home. Maybe it's because Brittni started yelling at him right away, or he really doesn't want it. I don't think it's the latter.

I make sure to lock my door before heading over to the window. I slide open the glass and look down from my second story room. There's a tree not to far from the house, and I think I could get on that and hop down.

It's worth a shot.

Swinging my leg over the ledge, I slowly reach over until the bark of a branch is felt against my fingertips. I then slide my other leg out, closing the window before swinging my body to the tree.

Getting down doesn't take long, and before I know it, my feet are touching the cold, damp grass. Damp? I look up and notice the white ice flurries falling from the sky.

It's snowing? In October?

Not having time to enjoy the beautiful snow, I start running towards the sidewalk and then to Colten's house.

My brother will never tear me away from him.

_________________