Watching Colten and I on the screen physically makes me sick. I feel like I may throw up any second.

"Colten...we can't." If Jackson or anyone else in this cafeteria didn't know it was me before, this has probably tipped it off.

"Nikki?" Brittni turns to me with a confused expression.

I'm going to be sick.

"You don't seem too convincing. Maybe it's because you know just how wet I'm making you right now, huh, Nik?"

My head begins to feel hazy, as Jackson stands up quickly, his chair squeaking against the tile floor in an ear piercing manner. I can't move.

Colten stands up hesitantly, his eye staying on an enraged Jackson.

"Jackson..." I hear Colten trying to tred the water lightly. "Let me explain.

"Tell me that's not what it looks like!" Jackson booms, making me wince, tears fill my eyes.

"Just let-"

"Fucking tell me, Colten!" He shouts. Jackson is behind furious, the veins in his neck pop out as well as in his arms. His fists clench, every muscle in his body tensing with rage.

"I'm sorry," Colten tells him, a defeated stance taking over his fearful one.

I don't think he's scared of Jackson, but he doesn't know what to expect as I don't.

A scream erupts from my throat as a full force punch is thrown right at Colten's jaw. Gasps fill the cafeteria as I try to clear my dizzy head. I basically trip over my feet as I get out of my chair, holding on the table for support.

My eyes don't leave Jackson's face as he grabs the collar of Colten's shirt and throws another punch.

"Jackson!" I scream, tears already streaming down my face as I run over to the boys despite the jelly feeling in my legs.

"Is that why you didn't answer my calls?" Jackson shouts.

"I'm not going to fight you," Colten shakes his head, holding his jaw that in sure is bruised.

"You're a bitch," Jackson snarls. "All this time you were fucking around with my little sister and didn't have the balls to return my calls!"

"Jackson, please stop," I sob, stepping between the two boys, putting my hands on Jackson chest only for him to push them away.

"Don't fucking touch me," he growls, glaring at me in a way that should kill me. "I can't fucking believe my best friend and little sister are messing around! Right behind my back, too!"

"It's not like that," I cry, shaking my head frantically.

"Oh really?" He looks at me, eyes a blazing. "Then what is it like? Hmm? Tell me, Nikki, what in the hell gave you the damn right to do this?"

I open my mouth to speak, but sobs are racking my body to much.

"Did you fuck him?" Jackson clenches his jaw, looking at Colten for a split second, then back at me.

"Jackson, please-" I plea.

"If you don't fucking tell me right now!" He shouts.

"Enough!" James steps in, his eyes furious as he steps between us. "Go home."

"Don't fucking-"

"Go the fuck home!" James yells at my brother. "Before you get suspended."

"Don't come by my house ever again," Jackson points at Colten. "Don't even come near me."

"Jackson!" I start to run after him, but a hand grips my forearm. "Colten, I need to talk to him."

"What if he hurts you?" Colten looks worried. "He's pretty mad and-"

"He would never hurt me," I tell him and escape from his grasp before running out of the cafeteria towards my brother.

"Jackson!" I yell out for him.

"Go away, Nikki," he growls, his back tense as he gets to his truck.

"We need to talk," I explain to him. Grabbing his arm only for it to be ripped from my grasp.

"If you get in this car," he clenches his jaw. "I'll expect answers. Got it?"

I'm not too sure about giving him the full story, but I want to talk to him and make sure he's okay. If I let Jackson go home alone I'm worried what he'll do with his anger.

"Okay," I whisper and hop into the car, trying to ignore the horrible awkward silence. It's tense and not fun. I want so desperately to turn on the radio throughout the ride, but I don't.

And when we pull up to my house, Jackson gets out right away, slamming the door shut making me jump.

I need to think about what I'm going to say. How I'm going to act. Will he even believe me? Should I even try to clear this up?

What I don't understand, is why Angelique did this. I know she's slept with Colten before, but does she want more or something? Does she envy me for having him and not her?

Taking a deep breath, and wiping my tears, I get out of the car and follow to where Jackson had just went in at. He's sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

I quietly shut the door, but it's enough for him to pick his head up so only his chin sits on his hands.

I just need to answer his questions. If I'm honest with him, maybe he'll understand. Especially since him and Brittni went through the same thing, and although it took me a week or so to expect them, I did. I just need the possibility of his forgiveness in the future.

"Why?" Jackson calmly asks, his back still facing me. I don't move from my spot in fear of seeing the disappointed look on his face. "How? Fucking when?"

I swallow hard. Just give him the information.

"The night I found out about you and Brittni, we kissed," I tell him, fiddling with my fingers. Not seeing his face is beneficial and then not.

"So you kissed him because you were pissed at me?" I can see the anger returning to him.

"No," I rush out. "A few hours before that. He saw me with Dus- a guy and it just happened."

"Just that once?" He questions, seeming hopeful.

"No," I look down. "Twice before we - um - started dating."

"Did you fuck?" His blatant question makes me blush. I don't want him to know, because if he does he'll freak out even more, but he deserves to know what went down. Or does he?

"Yes," I whisper, almost inaudibly. By the way Jackson back tenses, I can tell he heard me.

Guilt.

"How many times?" Why?

"Jackson-"

"Don't make this more difficult," he growls, getting up from his seat, turning to look at me with angry, yet sad eyes.

"Three times," I screw my eyes shut. Just as I do this, the sound of glass shattering resonates through the room, making me bite my lip.

"You fucked him three fucking times?" He snarls, the look in his eyes pure anger.

"I love him," I whisper, tears filling my eyes once again.

"I can't do this," he pulls at his hair. "I can't fucking do this!"

"Please, Jackson-"

"And I won't fucking do it," he bites out, walking past me, slamming the door on this way outside.

I want to stop him from walking away like he always does. I want to make sure he doesn't make a stupid decision, but instead I slide down the wall and pull my knees to my chest.

Fate has a plan for everyone...

This one is mine.

•••

Brittni still picks me up for the game tonight despite the fact she's upset I didn't tell her about Colten and me.

"You felt like you couldn't tell me this?" Brittni asks, offense hidden behind her tone.

I told her everything leading up until today and to say she was shocked would be an understatement. She was practically crying from how out of the situation she was.

"It not like that," I lean my head against the cushion of the seat. "I just didn't know how. First we kissed and I didn't think much of it, then we slept together and he left. It was never the right time."

"I'm sorry," she whispers, her eyes glossy even when she's not looking at me.

"Brit," I sigh. I feel like shit.

"I should've been there for you," she cries. "I was so involved with Jackson that I didn't realize what a hard time my best friend was going through."

"It wasn't your fault," I argue. "No one knew. It wasn't something that was easy to see because of how well we hid it."

"But still," she looks at me for a moment. "I'm supposed to be the one that knows you better than anyone else and I couldn't tell when you were upset or happ-"

"That wasn't your fault," I scowl at her. "I chose to keep it hidden. Don't blame yourself for my mistakes, please."

She bites her lip and doesn't say anything else. All this drama is giving me a head ache. I want to see Colten so bad. I want to kiss his lips. I want him to hold me and assure me it'll all be okay. I just need him.

When we make it to the field, Brittni and I make our way over to the other girls of the team and begin to warm up.

When the football players roll in, I don't see either Colten or Jackson making me very anxious. Where could the be?

Just as that thought crossed my mind, I see Colten's truck roll into a parking spot and him get out with his pads on. As if he sense my eyes on him, he turns his head to me.

The beating of my heart increases as he begins to walk straight for me, a determined look on his face.

"Colten..." I breathe when he pulls me by the waist into his chest. Jackson could be here any second, we shouldn't be doing this.

"I don't care what your brother says," he whispers against my lip. "I love you and not even he can break as apart. Okay?"

"Okay," I nod, tears filling my eyes.

"Don't cry, baby," he coos, cupping my cheeks.

"This day has been extremely shitty," I admit, looking down at my feet.

"Hey, look at me," he demands softly. I do. "We'll get past this. Don't worry to much about it."

"I love you," I press my lips to his. It's like I can breathe again. This whole day has been a fucking disaster me having Colten with is familiar and soothing. It feels amazingly refreshing.

"Mathews!" His coach yells making us break away.

"I'll see you tonight, baby," he pecks my forehead before running towards his teammates.

I know that this game is about to be interesting. Because two boys that hate each other at the moment are going to be playing together and he just pulled up in his truck.

Jackson is here.

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