I was trying to get back to my routine but it was really hard to. I was trying to forget what happened but no one would let me. That's why I didn't want to see anyone. I couldn't face anyone right now because everyone has that look on their face that pisses me off like nothing else have done before. I can't stand being around people that feel sorry for me. Even Jensen's presence pisses me off sometimes.

I was washing the dishes while Jensen was watching tv. But I got a bit distracted. Every memory was coming back and I was trying to block them, unsuccessfully. My breathing and my heart state to beat quicker. I close my eyes and I take a deep breath but nothing helps. I could hear Jensen walking to me

"I'm here if you need to talk" he says

"I know" I say and I continue to wash the dishes pretending like I'm fine. He hugs me from behind and kisses my neck softly

"We are going to get through this together, ok? I'm here to help you"

"No, stop this" I say and I escape his grip

"Stop what?" he asks worried

"That thing you do all the time. You are acting like you know what I lived, what I felt, but you don't know Jensen" I yell

"(Y/N)--"

"You didn't lose our child. You didn't feel the pain I felt. You didn't feel the life of your child being taken from inside of you" I say

"I lost my child too (Y/N). And I know that you are feeling everything more intense than me. So talk to me. Tell me what you feel Tell me what you need. Tell me how to help you"

"I can't. I can't tell you Jensen. I'm trying to forget what happened and move on but no one lets me forget. So please stop treating me like a fragile--"

"And why would I stop?" he asks

"That's exactly what I was trying to avoid" I frown

"It's been almost a month and I still see you hurting. You are right I don't know exactly what you've are through but that doesn't mean I won't take care of you"

"And I'm telling you that that's the problem. You keep reminding me of it. I want to move on and I want to feel like myself again. I just want to feel like me and I can't do it when you are treating me like that. I need to feel normal again" I say.

"Ok then, I'll stop if that's what you need" he says pissed

"Finally, thank you" I say pissed too. There are a few seconds of silence. I turn to the counter again and I wipe my wet hands in the towel. I could literally feel Jensen's gaze on me and that made me even angrier. I throw the towel that I was holding on the floor and I run upstairs. I take a suitcase out of the closet and I start to fill it with any clothing piece I grabbed. I close it and I go downstairs.

"Where are you going?" Jensen asks me

"It's non of your business" I say and I walk past him

"Yes, it is" he says

"And why is that?" I ask pissed

"Because you're my wife and I need to know" he says and takes my hand

"The fact that I'm your wife doesn't mean that you owe me and for sure it doesn't mean that you are ordering me"

"I never said that. I am just asking where are you going?"

"Well, I don't know. I'm just leaving. I need to take some time and space"

"From me?" he asks hurted

"From you, form this house, from work, from everything" I say. I could see that his eyes were already watery.

"Well, if you feel like I'm holding you back, go ahead. I don't want to pressure you"

"Thanks" I say and I take my hand out of his grib. But I stayed there looking at him for a bit

"Go (Y/N)! Leave! Apparently there is nothing holding you back here" he yells

"I'm already on my way" I say and I leave.