I handed her another white bar. She smiled and accepted it along with a glass of water.

"I like how they calm me Gus"

I looked at silvi, somewhat shocked. I didn't ask her for a reasoning.

"I know you asked yourself why"

See. She's special. Very~

Then that feeling...the one of wanting to be close, hit me again. I picked silvi up, her legs once more wrapped around me.

"I don't know what it is about you, but you make my heart go a million miles a second" I whispered into her ear, pushing her body up against a wall.

She started to kiss down my face and neck. For a moment it felt so good, so right. Then it hit me in the face like a huge ass slap.

Stop~

"We can't silvi"

"Wh- was it something I did. Did I go to fast..."

"No really its-"

"No I understand I do that a lot. I'm sorry...here lemme get my phone I'll go."

"Silvi wait just let me-"

Silvi grabbed her phone and walked out the front door. And for a minute my self doubt and depression kicked in. I kept telling myself she won't look back. She's gone.

But then I kicked depressions ass...just this once..and ran after her. Like a fairytale.

I hugged her from behind. Tightly. Her shaking body.

"It wasn't you. I just wanna do things right"

She turned around and grasped me in her arms tightly. I rubbed my hand up and down her back in comfort.

"I'm sorry I over reacted. Im just still in shock you even want me here..Gus"

I forced her eyes to look into mine, placing a hand under her chin and perking her head up.

"I'm not going to stop wanting you here, don't forget it babygirl"

Silvi nodded again and hugged me even tighter.

"Stop crying, you're gonna make me cry too~" I whispered into her ear, softly, so gentle.

"Let's go get ice cream and I'll make you feel better?" I asked silvi out because I could see the doubt in her eyes. She needed some reassurance.

She nodded in response and I nodded back planting a sweet kiss on her lips.

"I have to go make a call, get in the car and start some music."

I walked back into the house and grabbed my phone. I dialed szas number. She picked up faster than usual.

That call ended. Sza was the only friend I had that was also a girl. I don't have a lot. Some not a lot. But sza... The only girl. Except for now, silvi.

I needed to ask advice. I suck at this shit. I don't know what girls want. I know about drugs and how to fuck. I don't know any other shit. I just keep to myself man.

Fuck.

I jumped into the driver's seat and started the car. Silvi had sippin tea in yo hood playing. Man this girl...is...just herself.

We laced our fingers in between each other and I backed out of the garage. I couldn't wait to get ice cream and have a real date for once. Especially with a girl like silvi. Just one thing.

I'm not sober~